12
Taylor
Don’t be nervous,” Paige whispered to me as we stood outside my dad’s front door. At least it wasn’t the house I’d grown up in. Thank God, he had sold that and bought a new home on the west end after marrying Olivia. I wasn’t sure I could handle entering our old house after all these years. Watching him in the same dining room that mom had served us our Christmas Eve dinner would have been scraping fingernails against my soul.
“I’m not nervous,” I answered quickly. Too quickly. Because it was total bullshit. I knew it and Paige definitely knew it, too.
The tree lighting had been surprisingly fun. Cheesy as all hell, of course, but what do you expect in a town like Maple Grove? People literally stood around, singing carols and drinking cocoa from Elsa’s diner. As part of Cam and Lydia’s engagement party, the town let them put the angel on top of the tree together. It was sickeningly sweet.
Paige squeezed my hand, bringing my back to the present and leveled me with a look that said yeah right. “I texted Scott,” she said, “And he’s already in there.”
Nerves and unease collided in my chest. I didn’t know how I felt about the fact that both Paige and Scott have had Christmas Eve dinner here in past years. I swallowed hard. I mean, it made sense. Scott was Dad’s son… and he was local. Once the beans were spilled back in high school, there was no reason for him to keep hiding it. And Paige was Scott’s sister—if Scott was coming to dinner, it made sense that Paige would be invited, too, especially after their mother passed away.
“It’s okay he’s here, right?” Paige asked quietly. “Maybe it’ll help… seeing a friendly face.”
The front door swung open before I had a chance to respond, and I gritted my teeth, forcing the smile to tug my lips toward my eyes. This was the most acting I’ve done since high school.
A startled man stood in front of us, a patchwork diaper bag around his shoulders. “Oh! Paige! Hey! I didn’t know you were coming tonight!” He stepped aside, allowing us to enter, then held out a hand to me. “Is this your date?”
Paige cleared her throat. “Yes. This is Taylor. Taylor Wilson.”
I managed to nod and take his hand next as Brian’s face lit up. “Oh, my gosh. Of course! I didn’t recognize you at first. It’s so nice to finally meet you. Your dad brags about you all the time. His son, the tight end of the Patriots!” He cradled my handshake with both hands like I was something to be cherished. “I’m Brian, Olivia’s son.”
I don’t know why I was rendered so speechless. It wasn’t a crazy idea that Dad’s new wife would have her own children from another marriage. Yet, it had always just been Dad, mom, and me for years, almost two decades. We led quiet lives and had “dignified” holiday dinners with Gram and Grandad.
Inside, beyond Brian, it looked like a party. People stood around, talking. Three kids ran around adults’ legs screaming and laughing. This? Here? This wasn’t the Wilson Christmas I knew.
A woman walked up, holding a crying baby that couldn’t have been more than nine months old.
“Brian, did you find her paci?”
Brian released my hand, giving an apologetic look at the woman. “Sorry sweetie. I got sidetracked.” Then, turning to me, he said, “Taylor, this is my wife, Emily.”
She smiled at me, bouncing the crying baby on her hip and without missing a beat, took my hand. “Taylor! It’s so nice to meet you.”
Brian moved passed me. “I’ll be right back.”
“Come on in,” Emily said, leading the way through the foyer. “Olivia is going to be so excited you’re here!”
Paige took my hand, giving it an encouraging squeeze. “You okay?” she whispered.
Even though I nodded, I wasn’t sure of the answer. Was I okay with all this? Paige had told me Dad’s holidays were extravagant, but I had thought she meant in décor and fanfare, like when I was a kid. Not in family and happiness.
In the kitchen, I stared, jaw dropped as I witnessed my dad chasing the three kids around the granite island with a marshmallow gun. They screamed and laughed as he pulled the trigger sending a sticky marshmallow launching through the air and hitting one of the kids on the shoulder.
Throwing his fist in the air triumphantly, he shouted, “I am the marshmallow king!”
Did my Dad have a lobotomy? I knew people could change, but I didn’t know they could do a total 180.
“Who’s that?” one of the kids said, halting the game and pointing at us.
Dad’s face fell when he saw me and he stood straighter, dropping the marshmallow gun at his side. I felt like an asshole. An outsider. And I hated that whatever joy Dad had been feeling seemed to evaporate like a single drop of water in the desert at the mere sight of me.
Dad walked over to me, then turned to look at the little boy. “This is Taylor, my son. Taylor, this is Caleb, Emily and Brian’s oldest.”
Caleb smiled wide at me and his bottom front tooth was missing.
I mustered a smile. “Hey Caleb, it’s nice to meet you.”
“Hey! Don’t you play for the Patriots?” he said, his eyes lighting up.
I felt my shoulders relax. Now this was a topic I could handle. “I do.”
“Whoa, cool! Could you sign something for me for show and tell?”
“Um… sure.” I looked around for some scrap paper, but before I found anything, he already forgot he had asked me. “You know what? I asked Santa for a football.”
I glanced up at my dad briefly, then back down at Caleb. “Do you think you’ll get it?”
He nodded. “Oh yeah. I’m definitely on the nice list this year.”
Dad’s gaze traveled over to Paige and his smile, though genuine, tightened. Was he just as nervous as me?
“Paige,” he said. “It’s so nice to see you again.”
Paige nodded. “Merry Christmas, Mr. Wilson.”
He shook his head, his smile relaxing. “How many times do I need to tell you to call me Tim?”
She shrugged, but her smile was playful in return.
After pulling a large tray from the oven, Olivia came over, wiping her hands on her apron and wrapped her arms around me in a big hug. If she was aware of the tension between us, it didn’t seem to register in the slightest bit. “Taylor,” she said, pulling back and placing her hands on my shoulders. Her smile was warm and kind and it lit up her whole face. She had hardly any makeup on, I noted, but even still, she looked polished and beautiful. But natural. Not the kind of woman I pictured my Dad married to at all. I had pictured him with someone like Tiffany. A trophy wife half his age. But Olivia was Dad’s age, maybe a couple years younger. Nothing about my Dad was turning out like I thought. “I’m so glad you decided to come tonight.”
I cleared my throat. “Yeah. Well, I don’t know if we can stay for dinner,” I said, eyeing Paige. I wasn’t sure how long I could take this. My plan for this whole weekend was baby steps; to dip my toes back into the water that was Maple Grove. But instead, this weekend had been one giant cannonball into the deep end.
Paige nodded, agreeing with me even without me needing to utter a word why. “But we wanted to stop by and wish you all a Merry Christmas.”
“I’m glad you did,” Dad said, smiling at me. “Here, let me introduce you to everyone.” Dad went around the room, introducing me one by one to the entire family—Olivia’s two daughters, their husbands, the various kids. Then, from the dining room, Scott walked out, holding a pile of napkins and a few forks.
“I don’t know how or why, but when I set the table, I somehow had three extra forks,” Scott said.
“And of course, you know Scott,” Dad said. My stomach knotted into a ball. For some reason, seeing Scott here in Dad’s house was stranger than meeting all of Olivia’s kids. Maybe because I felt like a stranger around my own dad here, and he seemed perfectly at ease.
I licked my lips and gave Scott a nod.
He swallowed, giving me a nervous nod in return. Then, seeing his sister, his face bro
ke out into a grin. “Hey. Glad you guys came.”
“But we probably won’t stay too long,” Paige added.
Scott’s smile tightened. “You have to stay for some wassail at least,” he said. “Olivia makes the best I’ve ever had.”
Paige gasped and squeezed my hand. “It’s true, she does.”
How could I argue with that? “Okay, then. A round of wassail, please.”
Her face split with a wide smile and just the sight of it was infectious. I smiled as well, brushing my lips to her forehead.
“Is there a restroom I could use?” In truth, I just needed a moment of quiet to collect myself. There was a lot for me to process. Did I even want a relationship with my dad anymore? I had told myself for years I didn’t, but I couldn’t ignore the fact that he seemed like a new man. And despite all the years of pain and betrayal… I missed him.
“Upstairs on your left,” Olivia said and pointed to the stairs. “Our downstairs bathroom is under renovation.”
I took the stairs two at a time and after finishing up, I took a few extra moments to press my cool, wet hands to my forehead.
Fifteen minutes. I just needed to get through fifteen more minutes, and then Paige and I could return to her cabin; our little bubble of happiness where I could close my eyes and pretend that we weren’t here in Maple Grove. I opened the door, fully ready to go back down to the party, when a wall of framed images caught my eye.
There were a range of photos from candid vacation shots of my Dad and Olivia, to wedding pictures. One framed image of them on their wedding day, Olivia in a floor length taupe gown and my dad in a suit. And beside their wedding picture, was a wedding picture of him and my mom. He had his forehead pressed to her cheek and she looked away, laughing.
Emotion clogged in my throat. Mom was still a part of his life. A part of his story and not just his history.
In the picture of him and Olivia at the altar, I noticed Scott… standing beside my dad.
Whatever warmth I felt frosted over. Scott stood beside him on his wedding day? How close were they?
“Olivia insisted that we include the pictures of your mother.” Dad’s voice behind me was startling, and yet I didn’t flinch. “I loved her, you know. Even though I messed up a lot.”
I snorted at that. Messed up. Understatement of the year.
Dad sighed beside me. “Look, I’m not going to pretend I have any excuses for what I did. Cheating on your mom. Betraying you—but I never stopped loving either one of you. Sometimes we hurt people we love when our own heads aren’t on straight.”
“That’s your excuse for sleeping with my girlfriend? That your head wasn’t on straight?”
Another sigh. “It’s not an excuse. Believe me. After you left town, I did a lot of soul searching. I went to therapy. My reasons aren’t good reasons… but they’re mine. And I own them. That being said, I’m sorry, son. I’m so sorry for everything. And if your mom were still here, I’d apologize to her every day, too, with every breath I had.”
White hot tears burned in my eyes and I closed them against the stinging pinpricks of moisture. “I know, Dad,” I said quietly. “I know you’re sorry. I’m sorry, too. For shutting you out as long as I did.” I risked a glance at him, and saw the shocked expression staring back at me. “I had no idea how much you changed. I mean, when you’d call, you’d tell me you did. You told me you were sorry. But now? I see it.”
“Olivia helped with that. She was my oncologist when I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. That’s how we met. She turned my whole life around.”
I let out a humorless chuckle. “So… you could say that she literally saved your life?”
He was quiet for a moment before answering. “That’s exactly what I say, actually.”
Silence filled the gap between us like an unwelcome guest. Hell, I was the unwelcome guest here tonight. Everyone else was an established part of the family… except me. And I only had myself to blame. Even Paige was less of a stranger in my own father’s home than I was. “I didn’t realize you and Scott became so close,” I said finally.
“I had a lot to make up for with Scott. He went for years not having a father. And when I learned he was mine, he was already a teenager—and the affair was so long ago, I made the selfish choice to keep the paternity a secret. I tried giving him and his mom money, but they wouldn’t take it. It wasn’t until the diagnosis that I truly began making all these amends. Forging change.”
“Paige is great, isn’t she?” Dad said, somewhat out of the blue.
Just the mention of her name made me smile. “Yeah, she is.” My gaze shifted to another framed image of the entire family standing in front of a Christmas tree, grinning at the camera. Off to the side, Scott had his arm around Paige—there in the picture. Like she was just as much part of the family as he was.
“That was taken a few years ago,” Dad said. “After their mom died, I couldn’t invite Scott for the holidays and leave her alone. It was natural that she came, too, even though she was uncomfortable in the beginning. A lot like you tonight. That was Paige a few years ago. Now look at her,” Dad’s smile widened, tears forming in his bright blue eyes. “She’s as much a part of this family as everyone else. She fits right in.”
“I can see that. Then again,” I added with a shrug, “Paige gets along with everyone.”
Dad turned to face me, his expression suddenly serious. His voice dropped low. “I only just got you back son. And while I couldn’t be happier that you’ve found someone like Paige, I’m nervous. What happens if things end badly? Will you leave again? Never return? Or if you stay, will Paige not be comfortable coming for holidays anymore? I know Scott—he won’t let her be alone at the holidays, which means we’ll lose both Scott and Paige.”
I gulped, but held his gaze steadfast. I hadn’t stopped to think about all of that. “Dad,” I said, choosing my words carefully. “Paige and I only began seeing each other last night. Scott and I only made up this morning. And this is the first conversation you and I have had in years. And none of this would have happened without her. I would have come for Cam and Lydia’s engagement party and left this morning without a single look back if it wasn’t for her.”
Dad nodded, but even still his mouth stayed firmly in a frown. “Okay,” he said. “It’s yours and her choice to make. I just don’t want to see my family get ripped apart. Again.”
“It won’t,” I said. I wanted to mean that. I wanted to mean those words with everything I had.
I took a deep breath, looking at Paige smiling wide in the image once more.
But somewhere deep in my soul, I knew that my dad might be right.
13
Paige
Something changed.
After Taylor came back from the restroom, he was different. Distant. Even though he was going through the motions and technically did everything correct, something was still off.
His hand entwined with mine, but he didn’t squeeze or hold me with the same affection as before. He gazed at me now with eyes that were sad; like he was mourning something. Or mourning something yet to happen.
The rest of the evening at his dad’s house went smoothly. While normally in other years, I would have stayed for dinner, tonight was for Taylor. And it was clear he needed to take it slower than that. Pre-dinner drinks was all he could handle.
We grabbed sushi takeout on the way back to my house, the car ride was eerily quiet for the whole drive. Had it really only been 24 hours since we saw each other at Cam and Lydia’s party last night? So much had happened in that time. My gaze trailed to his as he pulled down the dirt road behind the Maple Grove Inn to my little cabin.
And yet, even though yesterday felt like a lifetime ago, things seemed to have mostly stayed the same. Maybe Christmas miracles were a bunch of horse crap, and the past 24 hours— including all our talk of the future— were just the pipedreams of two people who’d lost most of their family and had been affection starved for years.
; I swallowed, looking down at the paper bag containing more sushi than two people could ever eat. I didn’t want to believe that what happened between Taylor and me was already fading. In my heart, I knew that I liked Taylor. I could see myself falling for him in the future. I could see us making it work and building a life. But none of that mattered if he couldn’t see it, too.
He put the car in park and gave me a weak smile that didn’t reach his eyes before he took the bag of food from my lap and exited the car.
This wasn’t how Christmas Eve was supposed to feel. I wasn’t supposed to be entering my house with dread heavy in my belly. Eggnog was supposed to be heavy in my belly—not sadness and fear.
Taylor bent down, greeting Maisey with more happiness than he’d shown me in the last two hours, and I watched from the doorway, crossing my arms. “What’s wrong, Taylor?”
“Hmm?” He glanced up from petting Maisey.
“I asked what’s wrong? Because you’ve been acting weird ever since we arrived at your dad’s. And… and I know that couldn’t have been easy for you, so I’m trying not to pressure you into talking. But I don’t know if my heart can take a Christmas Eve filled with silence and tension.
He sighed and stood, grabbing the bag of sushi just before Maisey nosedived into our dinner. He set it on the table, then took a seat. “I’m… I’m processing what happened still.”
“Was it seeing Scott there?”
He swallowed, the thick pillar of his throat tightening with the movement. “At first, yeah. At first I was jealous that Scott managed to have such a good relationship with a man I’d known for years and could never connect to… but that’s not what’s bothering me now.”
I moved to the kitchen table and sat across from him, sliding my hand over his. “Then what?”
“It—it was seeing you there. You’re already part of my dad’s family, independent of me. Independent of us.”
What was he talking about? “I see them at Christmas, Thanksgiving, and occasionally on Scott’s birthday. That’s it.”
Holiday Intercepted Page 9
