by Nova Drake
Jess adjusted the gun tucked into the back of her waistband as she walked down the dark alley. The hairs on the back of her neck were standing at attention, and she gave herself a mental pep talk as she trudged on with a little less confidence than she liked. Her eyes darted to every corner, every shadow, checking for danger.
This is nothing new. I do this all the time, and I’m always fine. No big deal, she reassured herself. But somehow it didn’t feel the same, and maybe she wasn't fine.
The memories were still fresh in her mind. Her normal internal thought process of 'what's the worst that could happen?' was no longer a comfort. In fact, it was quite the opposite. She knew what the worst that could happen was, and just the thought of it made her blood run cold.
Jess let out an exasperated huff. I'm being ridiculous. If Dad could see me now he'd kick my ass, she thought with a shake of her head. No sooner did the thought of her father's strength bring her some comfort, than some movement ahead took it away again. She froze. Her eyes scrutinizing every dark corner ahead. Then she saw it, in the darkness, blending in a little too well until it stepped forward enough to make his red eyes visible.
Jess's throat closed up instantly. Her no running from fights rule was tossed out the window, and she took a quick step back. She had to get away. No way could she go through that again. She spun, ready to hit a full-on sprint out of there, when movement in the other direction brought her to a hasty stop. Her boots skidded on the gravel. In the shadows, a new figure prowled closer, blocking her in. Her breath caught. It couldn't be. Red eyes appeared out of the dark, blocking her exit.
She spun again, checking the path behind her, and there he was, slinking closer. His movements were flowing and predatory. His eyes tracked her panicked movements, hungering for her pain. Standing sideways, her head snapped back the way she'd come, and he was closing in that way too. There were two of them. And she was trapped.
Her head swung from one to the other several more times while sheer panic set in. No! This couldn't happen again. She wouldn’t survive it a second time. Jess backed into the brick wall behind her, and the scrape of her gun against the building nearly brought tears of joy.
She pulled the gun and fired three times at each monster. She watched them carefully. Three shots in each of them, center mass, all hits. They looked down at their bodies and snarled before turning their attention back to her, angrier this time. Oh shit! She fired several more shots at each of them, only to have the same reaction. They were too close, going in for the kill.
A steady stream of tears ran down her face as she accepted what had to happen. They were only a few feet away when she turned the gun on herself. Closing her eyes, she whispered an apology to her brother and pulled the trigger.
Chapter 22
Jess's eyes flew open, and panic hit her hard. With her nightmare fresh in her mind, her whole body was shaking and the steady streams of tears were still flowing. Letting out a shaky breath, she wiped her cheeks with her trembling fingers. Taking in her unfamiliar surroundings, reality came back to her. Her attention turned to the bed across the room where Creepy slept.
Jess considered trying to go back to sleep, but that would just mean more nightmares. She was physically and mentally exhausted. She needed to sleep, but it wasn't going to happen like this, and she’d already thrown all her rules out the window when it came to him.
Creepy wasn't going to be especially comfortable with her plan. Jess wasn't used to asking permission for anything, but this time was different. He admitted to being instinctual and dangerous. Surprising him while she was in a weakened state wasn't smart. She considered that maybe shouldn't bother him at all, but Jess wasn't the type to ignore her wants. After pondering it over for all of three seconds, she decided she was going to do whatever the hell she wanted like always. At least she was compromising on the asking part.
With a quiet sigh, she pushed herself up onto her weak legs and wandered over to the bed with all the grace of a toddler. When she got to the edge of the bed, she steadied herself and touched his shoulder, tapping gently. One hand immediately clamped over hers as he sat up in alarm. His other hand darted for her neck, but she was quick enough to block with her forearm. He froze instead of attacking further, probably realizing who she was.
His black eyes sent fear trickling through her body in the dark. She wouldn't meet his bewildered stare; she knew she couldn't without showing him how terrified she was. Instead, she brought her shaking hand gently to his face. She could feel his eyes on her, and that alone raised goosebumps everywhere, but she kept her focus on his jaw where she ran her hand along the side of his face.
"It's just me," she said calmly.
He quickly released her hand, and she finally let her gaze wander up to meet his confused gray-blue eyes. She smiled. He was a little less stone-like when he was startled.
"Sorry," he murmured. "What are you doing?"
"My fault. I didn't mean to startle you, but I wanted to ask…" Jess's eyes dropped to the bed. He was wearing loose black pants with no shirt. The bed was the safest place to look while she tried to find a way to ask if she could join him without scaring him off.
"You've changed your mind, you want the bed?" He started to get up, but Jess stopped him.
"No. I wanted to know if I could join you." Jess held back a laugh at the hesitant look on his face. "Nothing sexual. I’m having trouble sleeping, and after all this, I thought it might go a little better here. With you." She couldn’t bring herself to admit she’d feel safer. God, she hated asking for things. It would have been so much easier to just climb in his bed, and let him be uncomfortable when he woke up.
He stared but didn't answer.
Jess gave him a small smile. "I promise to behave." She let her eyes wander over his beautiful bare chest. Her fingers itched to reach out again. "Unless you don't want me to," she teased.
His eyebrows rose, and she chuckled. "Relax, I'm kidding." She grabbed the edge of the blanket and gave him a nudge. "Move over."
To her surprise, he scooted over without further prompting. Jess settled into the bed, pushed him down next to her and gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder. "I won't hurt you," she promised with a smile.
His eyes met hers, and for possibly the first time, he looked amused. Though there was no more than the tiniest hint of a smile.
"Whoa, settle down there. It's not that funny,” she teased. “I’m pretty tough when I’m not recovering from being attacked by hellspawn."
His eyes were serious again. "I know."
Ah, damn it, she liked him. She was going to have to make sure no lines got crossed. She could use him for information. Her eyes lingered over his chest and abs once more, maybe for sex, but nothing more. She could not let herself care about anyone. That was asking for trouble. With that decision clear in her mind, she brought up a safer subject.
"We really have to come up with a name for you."
"You are the only one who will use it. Call me what you like."
Jess blew out an annoyed breath. "What did the lab worker that helped you call you?"
"261EZA"
"Oh. You didn't get anything from her head about your identity?"
"Not a name," he answered simply. His eyes closed with disinterest in the topic.
Jess thought about the information she was getting from Cash. Maybe she could knock off a few more of his untouchables in exchange for any missing persons files that might be Creepy. Maybe she could help him find his identity. She would need more information from Creepy for that.
She rolled to her side to face him. His eyes opened, feeling her stare. He turned his head her way in question. She searched his eyes, realizing that she wanted to help. He'd helped her so much, and she wanted to do something for him. That scared her a little, but the next words escaped her mouth without thinking about it.
"I know what it's like to not let anyone in. It feels safer that way, I get it. But if you are ever willing to accept my help, I can try
to help you find out who you were. Maybe between the two of us, we can find your real name. I’m not pushing you to tell me anything right now. But when you’re ready, I owe you, and I’m willing to help."
He was facing her now, his eyebrows had pulled together, and his expression was a mix of confusion and fear. She held back a laugh. That was probably exactly how she looked when Kat tried to get her to open up. She probably owed her an apology for being such an asshole. Jess smirked and continued.
"Anyway, until we do find out your name, how about we work with what we have and come up with a temporary one?"
Another short nod was her response. Jess rolled her eyes. "Since you're not giving me much to work with, I guess we could call you E. Or maybe we could work with those letters." She tapped a finger to her lip while she thought it over. "Not Eza. Maybe Ezra, or Ezekiel. What do you think?"
He shrugged.
Jess sized him up, one corner of her mouth turned down in contemplation. "Let’s go with Ezra. It’s less of a mouthful. What do you think? If you nod, I'm going to punch you," she warned.
She thought she saw a touch of amusement in his eyes again before he answered. "Ezra is fine."
Jess smiled. "Good. You've officially been upgraded from Creepy guy to Ezra. If nothing else, it's much easier to say."
They stared at each other for a few seconds in silence and it took Jess a moment to become aware of the inappropriate thoughts running through her head.
"Sooo," she whispered into the silence. "This ability of yours, you can pick up some thoughts without me knowing?"
"Yes. Some thoughts on the surface come through."
"And you probably just picked up where my mind wandered to, huh?"
"Yes." His voice was rough and growly again.
Jess nodded and her body heated at the sound of his voice. She was about to promise to behave before he threw her out of his bed. But his hand reached for her before the words made their way to her mouth.
His fingers hesitantly touched her temple and trailed down to her jaw before tucking behind her neck. She leaned in closer, and he ducked his head down, stopping just shy of her mouth. Her body tingled with anticipation, and his breathing grew heavier. Her eyes met his and saw fear battling with burning desire. He wasn't such a rock after all.
The look in his eyes sent desire racing through her, and she stretched up the last fraction of an inch until their lips touched gently. His hand tightened on her neck and brought her mouth back to his. This time there was nothing gentle about it, and that was more than fine by her, she wasn't a gentle kind of girl. Within seconds they were panting for air. His strong arms drew her in closer and her fingers traced over the soft skin of his chest she'd been dying to touch.
His kiss was as strong as he was, fierce with a touch of danger. Each intense and eager movement of his lips made her insides burn with want. She swept her tongue over his lip, followed quickly by her teeth, giving a little tug.
A tiny growl in his throat lit her on fire. He rolled on top of her, suddenly more aggressive. She dragged her nails gently down his back in response, prompting another little groan. His mouth moved to her neck, nipping and sucking, and she let out a little moan of her own. His hands moved roughly over her body, stopping at the top of her thigh to grab the hem of her shirt. A flicker of surprise entered her thoughts. She hadn't expected him to do more than kiss her after he'd been so hesitant before. Not that she minded.
Ezra froze, a handful of her shirt still clenched in his fist. He backed away from her, breathing heavily. She craned her neck to get a glimpse at his face. His eyes were squeezed shut as he caught his breath.
"You okay?" She whispered.
He didn't answer.
"Ezra?" She gently touched his face.
He moved off of her and started to take off, but Jess latched onto his arm. She was nearly pulled out of the bed when she refused to let go as he pulled away.
"No, wait. I'm sorry." After everything he'd done for her, she'd upset him.
Ezra sat on the edge of the bed with his back to her. "I'm the one that should be apologizing."
"For what?"
He was quiet for a moment. "I lost control. You’re injured, I could have hurt you."
Jess laughed. "You weren’t hurting me. It was my thoughts that started it. You were just so hesitant before, I was surprised that you were willing to take it further."
"I wasn’t."
The heat of the moment had cooled completely, and she shivered at the loss of heat. "What do you mean?"
"I made a conscious decision to kiss you. But instinct took over somewhere along the way."
"Oh. And that's bad?"
He turned and looked at her. "I wasn't thinking straight. I practically attacked you!"
Jess raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't complaining. If I’d had a problem, I would have stopped you. You're a weight of the world on your shoulder kinda guy, aren't you? I learned a long time ago that you gotta blow off a little steam now and then. There's nothing wrong with that."
As usual, he had nothing to say. He seemed confused by her reaction, and she didn’t want to give him time to overthink it.
"Now get the hell back in the bed. We both need some sleep."
After another moment of hesitation, he slid back into the bed next to her. She pressed herself into his side, idly wondering what could have made him sign on for the trials. Was he sick? Was he an elite? The curiosity gnawed at her until he shifted uncomfortably and she realized that her musings were probably broadcast right to him. Jesus, she could barely control her mouth, now she had to add her thoughts on top of that.
“I didn’t volunteer for the trials.”
Jess frowned. “I thought you couldn’t remember anything. You said years, so I assumed you were one of the first…” The drug hadn’t started showing up on the streets until the past couple of years, so she was a little confused by his timeline. And even once Niyazine showed up on the street, it hadn’t exactly seemed popular since you’d probably end up dead if you touched the stuff. There was a difference between desperate and having a death wish. Jess looked up and noticed Ezra had been following her entire thought process.
“Stop doing that,” she grumbled.
“I didn’t do anything. But to answer your question, the lab worker had memories of me as a child. In the lab.”
Jess bolted upright. “What?” They were administering Nyazine to children? God, why would that even surprise her? People were awful. Vile. But children? That bothered her. They hadn’t even had the chance to turn evil yet. Usually. “Wait… the trials were only a few years ago.” She tried to remember exactly when. Six years maybe? He would have been late teens-ish? Jess eyeballed him, trying to figure out his age.
Ezra shook his head. “A small child. From what I gathered, the first time they dosed me had no effect that they could find. I was somewhere around ten when they finally got it to take, and I developed the healing ability. That ability wasn’t good enough, so they kept trying.”
“Good enough for who?”Jess croaked in disbelief.
Ezra shrugged. “I never got that information. The drug interacts with biological factors. There is some connection in how the drug reacts in those who share genes. If you developed an ability using a specific version of Niyazine, then your relatives would be more likely to survive and develop an ability too. Likewise, if it kills you. The closer the relation, the closer the results. I believe I was run through every different version they came up with to see how a relative would react.”
“When my ability wasn’t impressive enough, they kept trying. One of their theories was that the healing kept some of the other versions from working. But they kept testing, kept altering it, kept re-administering with no results.” Ezra shrugged. “I was around sixteen or seventeen when they ruined me. Just after the start of the public trials. That was the end of my part in them.”
“When they ruined you?” she whispered.
“When they turned me into this.
Once their subject is a monster, they can no longer confirm that any new version wouldn’t cause the same reaction. They had to find other uses for me then.”
Yeah, she remembered the reputation he’d built by the time she crossed paths with him.
A terrible thought dawned on her, and she drew in a few shaky breaths. Ezra sat up and placed a hand on her arm.
“I never saw Ryker there. There wasn’t much interaction between the subjects, but none of the men I did see was your brother. What I gathered of my situation was that a relative handed me over so that a formula could be perfected for them. There’s no reason to think that your brother had the same life.”
Jess nodded shakily. She wanted to believe him. But after all the dead ends, she couldn’t rule the possibility out. “Do you still know where the lab is?”
