“This feels so dirty,” I said.
“‘Dirty’ gets a bad reputation. One it doesn’t deserve.”
I tried to just rest my hand between my legs, but there was an invisible current running through the room—like Landon’s commands were strings that led back to an unseen puppeteer who waited somewhere in the shadows of the huge, silent room. I couldn’t stop myself from playing along, and everything felt so inexplicably good that I wasn’t sure I even wanted to stop anymore.
A moan slipped from my lips. I clamped my mouth shut, but my traitorous hands didn’t stop.
“You say it feels dirty,” Landon continued in a low, heavy voice. “You’re enjoying something, but you’re letting society make you feel guilty for it. That’s what ‘dirty’ is. Society isn’t here, Andi. It’s only me, you, and the darkness. You’re just doing as you’re told. Obeying,” he added.
His words sent another wave of heat through me. Jesus. I let two of my fingers slide into my entrance as I used the palm of my hand to rub my clit. I liked to think I knew my way around my own body, but nothing I’d ever done—solo or otherwise—held a candle to the way this felt.
And then he touched me.
My body was so overwhelmed that I didn’t even recognize what was happening at first. It was just his fingers against my cheek, then his thumb found my lips as he blindly explored. He let his finger stay there, gliding across my lower lip. Instinctively, I tried to lick my dry lips and felt my tongue flick against his finger.
Another, pitiful little gasp escaped me, and before I knew what I was doing, I was kissing his finger. It was slow at first, but I felt so uncontrollably turned on that I couldn’t stop myself.
Yellow. Red. The safe words floated into my mind like buoys in the middle of a storm—safe places I could reach out for and find shelter. Instead, I kept kissing his finger, driven boldly forward by the sharp intake of breath I heard from him. It was hot. God, it was so unbelievably hot.
I pictured his piercing eyes just inches from mine and wondered about the dark secret I knew he still hid from me. I wondered if this would change anything—if I was really foolish enough to think I could win his trust with my body. But that wasn’t even true. Nothing I was doing felt deliberate. It was all natural, like breathing when my lungs burned or trying to paddle if I found myself in the middle of the ocean.
It should have mattered. All of it should have—my questions and my lack of answers. But I was being carried by his momentum, and the current of that power was too strong to fight.
And I could get drunk on that sound I’d heard when I took his finger in my mouth. It said there was a fire of longing inside him, and every movement of my mouth against him was stoking those flames. There was power in that feeling. Intoxicating power.
18
Landon
Shit.
I hadn’t meant to touch her. The decision had been more of an impulse that happened before I had time to stop it. But once I felt her silky, warm skin, I couldn’t help myself. Then I felt her lips…
And now her hot tongue was doing magic with the sensitive pad of my thumb, brushing and teasing. I could feel the wet grip of her lips circling the base of my finger and my already hard dick throbbed when I imagined how it would feel to take her mouth the way I wanted.
Worse, I could hear the gradually increasing pace of her hand churning up the water of the tub. I couldn’t see a thing, but I knew what that sound meant. I could picture her delicate fingers sliding into her tight entrance and rubbing hungry circles around her clit. I could see it all so goddamn clearly it hurt.
I needed to take control back. I knew I did. My role as her dom was to be the one in command, even if I had softened the terms of the contract for Andi. I wasn’t supposed to let myself get carried away or to let my submissive take control like this. Letting things continue like they were, even for a few more moments, threatened to unravel that delicate balance of power.
And then there was a sound that didn’t belong. The lock I’d engaged on the door clicked, then there was the faintest hint of light.
Two loud claps rang out and all the lights in the room exploded to life.
I was already looking toward the source of the sound, so I was able to see the green fingernails and a pair of feminine hands before they slid back out of the door.
Without thinking, I looked back to Andi. That was a mistake.
The fraction of a second before she hurried to cover her naked body burned itself immediately into my memory. I could practically feel the edges of the image etching themselves into my brain, burrowing into my subconscious. Perfectly perky nipples on her modestly sized chest—wide hips and a narrow waist… And her hand. I could see the two fingers she still had inside her tight, gorgeous entrance.
Within the blink of an eye, one of her arms was covering her nipples and her legs were crossed with the other hand covering as much as it could. I quickly clapped my hands twice, returning us to darkness, but we both knew the damage was already done. Except I was sure she had no idea how much that moment was going to torment me.
My dick was so painfully hard I thought it might burst.
“Here,” I said hoarsely. I reached blindly under the tub for the towels I knew were stowed beneath. “Take my hand and I’ll help you get dried off.”
A wet hand pressed against my face a moment later. One of her fingers slid up my nose. I flinched back, laughing in surprise. “Uh, that was my face.”
“Sorry,” she said. “I was trying to find your hand. And I guess I hadn’t had enough sticking my fingers in holes for one night. Please tell me I didn’t say that out loud,” she muttered.
I smiled freely because I knew she couldn’t see it. I took her hand in mine. It wasn’t lost on me that just a few moments ago, the fingers wrapping themselves around mine had been inside her.
I helped her to stand, then somewhat clumsily extended the open towel. She took it from me, then clapped her hands twice. I was surprised to see her standing there with the towel wrapped around herself. Her long legs were still glistening with water, but only the tips of her hair had gotten wet.
She gave me an expectant look, then gestured for me to turn. “I didn’t feel like falling off this bridge in the dark while I tried to get dressed. But if you turn around to peek again, I’m going to Sparta your ass into those little black spikey things down there.”
I smirked. “They’re actually very soft. I think I’d survive.”
I could sense her glaring at my back. “Don’t you dare peek.”
I already saw enough to ruin me. Don’t worry. “I won’t.”
“Was that part of the experience?” she asked.
I heard the towel drop to the ground. My stomach clenched. All I’d need to do was turn around and that intoxicating body would be right there for the taking.
“No,” I said. “I have a feeling I know who that was, and why. Planning that would’ve been a violation. It’s not something I would’ve done to you. Ever.”
“Because you didn’t want to see me naked, you mean?”
I took some time to formulate my answer. Her tone was unreadable. I couldn’t tell if she was playfully searching for some validation, or if she was mad and the anger was just now setting in. I wouldn’t have blamed her for either.
“Because you wouldn’t have had a chance to safe word out of that situation,” I said. “I don’t want to blindly force you into uncomfortable situations. I want your submission. I want you to know what’s coming and then agree to participate.”
“I see,” she said. “You can turn now.”
I was relieved to see she was fully dressed again. Even though my cock still felt like an over-filled balloon about to pop at any moment, I could at least regain some semblance of control.
“Do I get credit for that on the list?” Andi asked.
I couldn’t be sure, but I thought she was probably forcing her casual tone. Her chest was still rising and falling a little too fast and I didn’t
think I’d seen her blink yet.
“Yes,” I said. Take back control, Landon. “I’ll walk you out. But you need work on being a submissive before I can say you actually checked that one off.” I paused to search for the right words. As much as I didn’t want to offer her an out, I knew it was the least I could do, considering I was still too much of a coward to come clean about everything. “I meant what I said, Andi. Whether you do the list or not, I won’t keep your share of the hotel.”
She met my eyes, not speaking at first. “I know,” she said finally.
Andi was silent as she followed me out of the room, but I could imagine how her thoughts must be racing. I had to admit I enjoyed pushing her buttons for a change. In fact, if I was being entirely honest, I enjoyed quite a lot about spending time with her.
Grant practically ran into me once we left the sensory deprivation room. He was out of breath.
“I thought you left hours ago,” I said.
Grant shrugged. “Yeah, well, I had a few too many free drinks on you and wound up passed out in the bathroom. Sue me. But you know who is here, and she has been asking for you. Looks like she’s out for blood. I’d—”
“You can tell me about it later.” I tried to push past him, but he stopped me with a hand on my shoulder.
“This is one of those problems you can’t save for later. You know, like that time I realized I’d accidentally stolen that guy’s car? Remember? It was push-to-start and he left his keys in it, so it just kinda kicked on. I was halfway home before I—”
“I remember,” I growled. “I’m going to walk Andi out of the club, and then I’ll deal with your little problem.”
“It’s actually your problem. And it’s not so little.”
“I can walk myself out,” Andi said.
I turned and shot her a warning look. I was somewhat surprised when she lowered her eyes. Submissive wasn’t an adjective I’d have used to describe Andi at any point since meeting her, but it was good to see she could learn. I had no doubt she was thinking something sarcastic and biting, but at least she had the self-control to play along. Later, I’d learn her cues well enough to punish her when I sensed her rebellious thoughts, but—
No. There wasn’t going to be a later. Andi wasn’t really my submissive. We were still letting William’s list lead us along. Maybe she was playing along for now, but sooner or later, she’d be done with the game.
I took her by the hand and half-dragged her toward the hallway leading to the wine cellar exit.
We drew more than a few stares when we reached the bar area, and I didn’t need to be a detective to sense that something was going on. Sydney was wearing a devious smile when she spotted us. She set her drink down and headed straight our way.
My chest went tight. “Ignore her.”
“Who is that?” Andi asked.
“I’m Landon’s ex-girlfriend,” Sydney said.
Even if Andi was making me look like the dom who couldn’t control his sub in front of the entire club, I was proud to see that she didn’t shrink from Sydney in the slightest.
“Sydney,” I said. “Fuck. Off. I’m going to walk Andi out, then I’ll deal with you.”
Sydney pursed her lips. “What’s the harm in letting me talk to your latest toy? Or are you scared she won’t play anymore if she knows the truth about you?”
“And what truth is that?” Andi asked.
“Enough,” I said. “I’ll tell her myself.”
Sydney frowned. “Tell her what?”
“Not here.”
“What is going on?” Andi demanded.
I took her by the hand and tried to lead her out. Andi planted her feet. “By the way,” she said to Sydney. “Nice fingernails. Green to symbolize that you’re a jealous bitch, or is it just your favorite color?”
Andi had noticed, too. Sydney was the one who turned the lights on, but if she thought she was going to put distance between us with that little stunt, she’d been wrong. Seeing Andi… No, that was an image that could drive a man insane with need. Even my imagination hadn’t done her justice. But I had a feeling when I finished coming clean to Andi, that snapshot was going to be my parting gift.
Sydney sneered. “Jealous? Landon uses people up and tosses them out when he’s done. I was smart enough to leave before he got the chance.”
Andi looked at me with fire in her eyes. “Is it against club rules or something if I punch her in the throat?”
I pushed down the urge to smile. “As much as I’d enjoy watching that. Yes. It would technically fall under an act of nonconsensual punishment.” I knew I’d probably pay for it later, but Andi wasn’t budging from my gentle tugs on her hand, so I scooped her up like a child and carried her toward the wine cellar exit.
A low murmur erupted in our wake, but I tried not to hear it. I also tried not to think what it implied about my shaky status as the one in charge of The Golden Pecker. I was losing control, little by little. I knew that much. Showing myself in front of the members with a submissive who was anything but submissive wasn’t going to help ease their minds, either. They thought I was grooming her to take over the club, and they no doubt expected her to run the place into the ground with her inexperience.
Andi at least waited until we were out of view from the crowded lobby to start punching my chest. When I ignored the first few comically soft punches, she dipped her index finger in her mouth and then stuck it in my ear. I nearly dropped her with surprise.
“What the hell?” I said, setting her down, but being careful not to let her try to rush past me toward the lobby.
She stuck a finger in my chest. “In a second, I’m going to give you a piece of my mind for embarrassing me like that. But first. Wow. You made picking me up look so easy. For somebody who was feeling self-conscious about a few chocolate-induced pounds I’ve gained over the past couple weeks, that was great for my self-esteem. No. Don’t smile,” she snapped, jabbing her finger into my chest again. “Because that was also a total dick move. That Sydney woman is going to think she can walk all over me now. You know, I was bullied in high school, and one thing I learned was that it’s just like prison. The first day you get bullied, you’ve got to punch somebody so hard in the face that everybody else gets the message. But instead of punching her in the face, I got carried out of there like a baby.”
“You’re right, and you’re wrong.”
She frowned. “Pretty sure you have to pick one of those.”
“I shouldn’t have picked you up. But I needed to get you out of there because I wanted you to hear the truth from me. Not Sydney.”
“What truth?” she asked.
“I should’ve told you right away, but I—” I closed my eyes. Don’t make excuses for yourself. Just lay it out there and let her decide if she ever wants to speak to you again. “William was my biological father. When he and my mother divorced, I took her last name.”
Andi stared, then smiled. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“When he took you and your sisters in, he and my mom had been divorced about three years. Running the clubs for him was the only reason James and I saw him anymore. My mom cheated on him, and when James and I weren’t willing to cut mom out of our lives, he saw it as a betrayal. He started drinking more. I think he only kept us in his lives with the club as a way to punish us.”
Andi was shaking her head now, her smile all but faded. “How does giving you a cushy job count as punishment?” she laughed suddenly. “No. I really can’t believe any of this.”
“He just paid us enough to get by but strung us along on the idea that we’d inherit the club one day. I guess we thought he’d get over his anger about mom eventually, and things would get better. But then he adopted you guys and it was like a switch flipped. You three were—”
Andi shook her head more fiercely, pursing her lips. “No. You know what? Either you’re telling the truth and you’re an asshole for hiding this, or you’re lying and you’re an asshole for making up such a shitty
story. All I know is I’m tired of looking at your face, and I hope I never have to see it again.”
I wanted to reach for her and stop her from going, but I knew I deserved every bit of her anger. I’d been an idiot to wait so long to tell her the truth. If I’d gotten it in the open sooner, it would have been uncomfortable, but nothing we couldn’t overcome.
I needed to let her go. I knew one thing. I could still give her the hotel. I didn’t expect to earn her forgiveness, but I wanted to at least do one thing right in this mess. I owed her that much.
19
Andi
I wanted to cry and yell at the same time. In a few seconds, Landon had upended my reality on two fronts. I wanted to think he was lying, but something in my gut told me it was all true.
Grandpa was Landon’s father.
I felt an uncomfortable chill run through me. It was weird enough when grandpa had compelled me into a sexual to-do list with a stranger. Knowing that stranger was his son made it about a thousand times creepier.
Even though I fully planned to cut Landon out of my life entirely, I tried to smooth over the emotional scarring. For starters, grandpa wasn’t really my grandpa. He had also never fully taken on a father-like role for us. Instead, he was like a mentor and an adult figure who kept a roof over our heads. And Landon was more like his ex-son, somehow.
I got back to my room and flopped down on the bed, staring at the ceiling. It was still weird. If I wasn’t so pissed and confused, I’d probably waste more time trying to decide if a hypothetical relationship between an estranged son and his dad’s adopted daughter was taboo. Instead, I just wanted to punch Landon in his stupid face.
God.
Why had he waited so long to tell me the truth? He had let me do all those things with him while he knew exactly who he was. He’d made the decision for me, and I thought I might always hate him for that.
The Golden Pecker Page 13
