We walked around together, looked at the fish, skimmed the informational plaques, and even ate the same cheesy fries I’d shared with Landon.
Bree dipped one of her fries in ketchup and ate it in a single bite.
“That’s kind of gross,” I said. “Ketchup and cheese?”
“One word,” Bree said. “Cheeseburger.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s different. Like, would you dip a potato in mayonnaise and take a big bite of it? No. But potato salad is delicious.”
Bree waved a fry at me. “You have no idea what I would or would not do with a potato and some mayonnaise.”
“You know what I want to know?” Audria asked.
“Where to find an endless supply of medical cadavers to experiment on?” I asked.
She shot me a dry look. “That’s not even the kind of research I do. So, no. I want to know if grandpa is going to try to force Bree and I into some screwed up sexual adventure, too.”
I shrugged. “Maybe. Or maybe this whole thing was more about Landon than it was about me. I mean, he did say I’d get the hotel either way.”
Bree looked thoughtful. “If he was just going to give us our shares of the hotel, why wouldn’t he have done it already?”
“I’m not sure,” I said. “But I can’t imagine we’ll have to wait much longer to find out.”
“Hey,” Bree said. “Can we go wait by the dolphin place early? I kinda want to see what I’m getting into. The idea of jumping into some huge tank of water with a dolphin is actually freaking me out a little.”
“What?” I asked. “Dolphins are like the sweetest animal known to man.”
“False,” Audria said. “Dolphins are sexual deviants. They assault people all the time, violently humping them if given the chance.”
I snorted. “You’re making that up.”
“Wish I was,” Audria said nonchalantly. “Look it up yourself.”
Despite Audria’s warnings, we headed to the tanks early enough to see the group before us finishing up. The way the area was set up allowed us a perfect view as we crossed a ramp that circled one of the tanks. I saw a dark-haired man treading water in the middle of the tank with a smile on his face so huge and genuine that it took me a second to recognize him. “You’ve got to be shitting me,” I said, half in awe.
Audria and Bree followed my gaze.
“Is that…”
“Landon,” I said in disbelief. “The dorky bastard came here by himself because I told him I had plans with you two tonight. He probably thought I’d never find out.” I fought the temptation to shout out and embarrass him right away. The more I saw, the more fun it would be when he realized he had been caught.
The dolphin swam over to him, inverted on its belly, and let Landon grab both fins. With a few pumps of its tail, the dolphin was dragging Landon across the surface of the water on its belly. Landon was laughing with delight.
My sisters and I were all laughing so hard our sides hurt by the time he was done getting his little joyride. He stood on the ledge while a family and their young kids stepped up to take their turn. He was still smiling when his eyes wandered our way. We all smiled back sweetly, waving.
Landon’s expression turned from a smile to an outraged scowl so fast we all started laughing again.
“I present to you, the dork dom,” I said. “Deceptively cute and good natured, despite all attempts to seem broody and angry. At times, it does stupid, very stupid things, but the dork dom also is an expert in apologies, among other things. Furthermore—”
Audria stopped me with a look. “You realize how hypocritical it is for you to call him a dork, right?”
Bree hugged her hands together and smiled. “They deserve each other, Audria. It’s really cute.”
I smiled, even though Landon was still glaring in my direction. I knew he couldn’t hear anything I said from where he was, but I did know Bree was right. In some twisted way, we really did deserve each other.
34
Epilogue - Andi
Two Months Later
About three months ago, I lost my grandpa. I thought his last gift to me was the Kindle. Instead, he had given me something far more precious. Landon Collins.
Granted, it was more accurate to say he had locked Landon and I in a cage and hoped we would learn to get along before we killed each other. Still, I had Grandpa Willy to thank for how things had turned out.
I couldn’t help thinking how happy he’d be to see where my writing was taking me. My little column on Rachel’s blog about BDSM had managed to capture some of those wandering visitors looking for “Rachel’s Ass to Mouth.” It turned out they were also willing to stick around and read a little bit of my trials and tribulations in the world of BDSM. Within a couple days, the trickle of traffic turned into a stream, then a river.
Rachel had practically forced me to take the hint and make my own blog to capitalize on all the attention.
I hadn’t even begun to figure out monetization or any of those fancy business aspects of running a blog, but I did have my first real taste of what I’d always wanted. I had readers. I had eyes on my words and a voice that people cared about listening to.
In his own way, Landon had helped me to find that, and it was just one more reason to be eternally grateful.
I grinned to myself when I thought of him. He was working at the moment, but I knew we had a date tonight. A date at The Golden Pecker, and he promised to use these fancy new knots he discovered on me.
I did feel a little guilty living in my own slice of paradise. Grandpa’s next video had appeared, and it would be an understatement to say all hell broke loose. But I’d learned that sometimes it takes an explosion to put two broken people together. And no, that didn’t exactly make sense in a literal way. But hey, Landon was the king of terrible metaphors. I at least got to have one or two bad ones, right?
35
Epilogue - Landon
Three Months Later
Andi and I were in California for one of mom’s treatments. Given the relative chaos that broke out after dear old William Wainwright released his next video, it was probably a good thing.
With everything going on, Andi desperately needed the break. I didn’t mind the away time, either. Kicking Sydney and Edward out of the club had led to the kind of exodus of members I’d feared. But I hadn’t realized how many people who had reasons to hate Sydney and her father or Edward and his tactics were willing to join once the two were gone. In the end, profits had hardly dipped.
I was still waiting for some kind of unexpected disaster to arrive and sweep it all away. When Andi wasn’t busy during the days, we got to spend time together. A few nights a week, she came to the club and explored the world of being my submissive even further. It felt perfect. But for the first time in my life, I thought there was a chance this little slice of happiness was the kind that was meant to last.
Andi was wearing one of her growing collections of ridiculous sweaters, even though it was getting to be far too hot for them, especially in California. This one was fuzzy, red, and had a big heart in the center that could be unzipped. Andi was way too entertained by her ability to hold all of our stuff “in her heart.” She had stuffed it so full of keys, phones, and every other little thing she could think to carry that it looked like it was about to rip away from her sweater entirely.
She was reading something on her Kindle while we waited for mom to be let out of recovery.
“What is this one about?” I asked.
She tilted her phone so I couldn’t see and gave me a guarded look. “What if I don’t want you to make fun of me?”
“Then you’ll tell me, because I’m not going to make fun of you. Even if you dove back into the world of tentacle monster romances.”
She grinned. “Okay. Yeah. It’s not that bad. I’m just reading a BDSM book. I was hoping to get some ideas to use on this guy I kind of have the hots for.”
“Oh? Do I know him.”
“Hmm. I could tr
y describing him and see if it rings any bells. Tell me when to stop,” she set her phone down and bit her lip so sexily I almost stopped her right there with a kiss. Instead, I waited patiently.
“Let’s see,” Andi said. “He looks kind of scary, like he might tear you a new one if you pissed him off. But he’s actually a really sweet guy once you get past all the grumbling threats. And he likes to get really jealous of me when he thinks I’m going to be around other men, but he still trusts me. It just drives him crazy, and it’s kind of adorable watching how hard it is for him. What else… Oh, yeah. He’s got this trick he can do with a feather where he basically makes you come without even—”
I softly put my hand over her mouth. Andi either didn’t realize or didn’t care that the elderly couple sitting across from us had been listening in with growing interest. I flashed an apologetic smile to them, then looked to Andi, who was smiling from behind my hand.
“If I remove my hand, are you going to behave?” I asked.
She shrugged.
As soon as I pulled my hand away, she picked up where she left off. “He can make you come with it even though you can’t feel a thing, it’s the most bizarre and inten—”
I covered her mouth again, then somewhat gently helped her to stand and led her to a little side area off the waiting room. I spotted a small concession area and took her inside it.
“Hey,” she said, gesturing to the room around us. “Remind you of anything?”
I nodded. “Except this vending machine just has chips. No Skittles.”
“Well, I didn’t come here for the Skittles.”
“No?” I said, smiling. I reached out for her, but she ducked under my arms and went to the machine behind me.
“Pretzel sticks sound so good right now.”
I glared at her back, then turned her around so I had her pressed up against the machine. “This is what I wanted to do the first time I saw you at the Wainwright hotel.”
“Did your plan evolve from here, or was pushing up against me the whole shebang?”
“There was more,” I said. I tilted her chin up for a kiss, but approaching footsteps made us stop.
A mom and her son walked into the small room. “No,” she said, trying to pull him away. “I already told you we’re not having chips for breakfast. There are eggs in the hotel room.”
The little boy, who must’ve been about eight, struggled and tried to pull away. “The nurse said they were eggs been a dick. I’m not eating that, mom!”
My eyebrows shot up. Andi looked back at me with the same, shocked and amused expression.
The mom grabbed the boy by his sleeve and yanked him down the hallway. “It’s eggs benedict,” she grumbled at him. “Do I need to get your ears cleaned?”
Andi snorted out a laugh once they were out of earshot. “I can’t blame him. If I was a kid and someone told me they were going to feed me the eggs that have been a dick, I’d be pissed, too.”
When my mom came out a little while later, she looked tired. We helped her back to the car and then to her hotel room, which she had chided me for spending so much money on. I didn’t care, though. I wanted her to at least get a little bit of the life my father tried so hard to keep her from having after she cheated.
“Any good news?” I asked once we had her back in her room.
“That depends,” my mom said. “Is it good when the tumors get smaller? I forget how that works.”
We ordered in some takeout for lunch to celebrate the good news. I’d learned that it wasn’t a total victory. With cancer, it felt like there was no such thing. It could always come back. With mom, it felt like it always would come back. I was proud as hell of her for fighting it the way she had every time, just like she’d fought for my brother and me.
We were working on a large container of lo mien noodles when my mom got a devious glint in her eyes. “So,” she said, looking between Andi and me. “How long are you two going to make me wait for a grandbaby? Because, as you can both see,” she said, making a show of looking more tired and slumping back in her chair. “I might not have much time left.”
I slid my tongue across my teeth, then moved my eyes to Andi. She was watching me with an unusually thoughtful look on her face.
“This reminds me of an old western shootout,” mom said. “Neither of you want to be the first to play your cards. Hmm.”
“I was just thinking you’re supposed to wait until people are married to start asking them about children,” I said.
“Oh, is that so?” mom asked. “I guess I just figured the way you two get along, that would be coming any day now.”
Andi blushed now.
I wanted to throw a fortune cookie at my mom for cornering me like this in front of Andi. I cleared my throat. Instead of throwing the cookie, I cracked it open and tried to read the fortune to change the subject.
I frowned down at the words and then set the fortune aside, hoping no one had noticed. Andi snatched it off the table and read. “A family that brings new life also brings happiness.”
“Okay,” I said, plucking it from her hand and setting it in the bag. “There won’t be any talk of grandbabies because we’re not even married yet.”
“Yet?” Andi asked.
I stammered. “I just mean it’s a little like putting the bull before the horns.”
Both Andi and my mom were leaning in conspiratorially. Damn women. Yes, I was planning to ask Andi to marry me, just as soon as I wouldn’t look like I’d lost my mind for asking her so soon. And yes, I’d already decided having kids with her was something I wanted so much it hurt. Again, none of that felt like the sort of thing you said out loud about a woman you’d only been dating for three months.
“I wonder how he’s planning to ask,” my mom said.
“Mom,” I said. “Maybe you could just let us work things out naturally without trying to force it along.”
She nodded sadly. “Yes. Of course. If only I had all the time in the world to wait for you two young lovers to figure things out.”
“What is it you want, a proposal right here at the table?” I asked.
“I’m more curious about what Andi wants.” She turned to look at Andi, who was watching most of the exchange in rare silence.
“I…” Andi said slowly, moving her eyes between me and my mom. “I think it’s safe to say there will be babies in your future, Miss Collins. Lots and lots of babies.” her eyes were locked on me while she spoke.
One of my eyebrows twitched upwards. “Is that right?”
My mom dropped the fork full of noodles she’d been holding and practically ran into the huge bedroom of her hotel suite, leaving the two of us at the table. “Don’t let me stand in your way, kiddos!”
Andi and I had a silent staring match for a few moments after she left.
“You want kids?” I asked.
“Only if you are the one who puts them in me.”
A low, fiery hunger ignited in my stomach. “You want me to put a baby in you,” I said slowly.
“Yes,” she said. “But it’s like you said. Putting the bull before the horns and all…”
God, I loved this woman. “You realize what you’re saying, right?”
Andi nodded. “There’s the obvious unspoken part, and then the fun part where we get to practice until you get around to doing the thing we seem to want to skirt around saying out loud.”
I grinned. “Yes. I wouldn’t mind a few more practice runs before we start trying for real.”
Andi bit her lip, then did the world’s worst fake impression of a yawn and stretched her left hand toward me, wiggling her ring finger around. She coughed. “It’s-a-size-seven,” she said, squeezing the words in between fake coughs.
I got up and pulled her into a hug. “You’re the most ridiculous person I’ve ever met. And I love you for it.”
“Do you love me for my other parts, too?” she asked.
I squeezed her ass. “Yes. Your ass is a work of art.”
&n
bsp; She pulled back and fiddled with my jacket. “Hmm. What else?”
“Your breasts could inspire sculptures.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Cheesy. But continue.”
I lowered my voice to a low growl. “And your pussy is fucking delicious.”
She purred playfully. “Oh my, Mr. Collins. You’re quite the devil.”
“Keep tempting me, and a devil is exactly what you’ll get.”
Andi stood on her tiptoes, so her mouth was just beside my ear. Her words came in a raspy whisper. “I want you to put a ring on my finger. And then I want you to put two babies in my belly. Twins. One boy, one girl.”
I chuckled. “My balls aren’t a fast food restaurant, Andi. You don’t get to place custom orders.”
She slid her hand between my thighs and squeezed slightly. “If those boys know what’s good for them, they’ll take my damn order. Understand?”
“One boy, one girl,” I repeated. “And a ring. Did I forget anything?”
Andi tugged me down to her face and kissed me. “A few more of those,” she said.
Please don’t forget to leave a review!
Thank you so much for reading! Whether you loved the book or not, it would mean the world to me if you left an honest review on Amazon. I read every single review and take them all to heart, even on older books, so it’s not just a great way to give me your feedback and help me improve, it’s also one of the best ways to support me and help me find new readers.
This book was a little bit of an experiment in combining romantic comedy and BDSM, so I’m pretty terrified to start getting feedback, haha. But please, please let me know what you think. If it seems like a lot of you enjoyed this, I’ll absolutely continue the Pecker series!
The Golden Pecker Page 21
