Taffeta clung to Barney’s words, but the bottom line was that she still couldn’t get custody of Sarah. “I won’t be able to have her for visits in Mystic Creek. She’s terrified of you.”
Barney sighed. “While you were visiting with her, I drove around and had a lot of time to think. Sarah has to come first, Taffy. Your relationship with her has to come first. In order to rebuild a strong relationship, she needs to be with you in your home environment as often as possible. I know that our being married may increase your odds of regaining custody, but that doesn’t mean we have to live together.”
His words struck such dread into Taffeta’s heart that she stopped sobbing. “What?”
“I’m moving out. I’ll find a rental. Until Sarah gets over being afraid of cops, it’s important for me to stay out of the picture.”
“No.” Taffeta shook her head. “We’re married. We love each other. Over time, Sarah will come to accept that.”
“Yes, maybe over time. But you need to see her as often as possible now.”
“But I’m not even getting unsupervised visitations with her yet. Isn’t this plan a little premature?”
“No. We want Sarah to start feeling eager to come see you at your house. If she thinks I’m there, she’ll dread it instead. I considered leaving when she visits and just staying with my folks or something. But that would essentially be putting a false face on our relationship and lying to your kid. You need to be able to tell Sarah, in all honesty, that we’re not together anymore and won’t be until she likes me and wants me around.” Taking his eyes off the road for an instant, he stabbed Taffeta in the heart with a solemn and indescribably sad look. “Her father never once put her first, Taffy. Don’t you see how important it may be to Sarah to know that you will? That nobody is more important to you than she is?”
Taffeta stared at his profile as he focused on driving again. She’d come to love this man with her whole heart. But did she love him so much that she would rather be with him than make her child happy? Don’t make me choose! She wanted to scream those words at him. Only she knew it would be pointless. Barney had already made the choice for her.
It was so like him, she thought in silent misery. Honorable to the core, a man who always tried to do the right thing.
“We don’t want her to be afraid to come visit you,” he said. “If she knows I still live there, she’ll fear that I might show up at any minute even if I leave during the visits. I can’t do that to her. She needs one-on-one time with her mother, with no outside interference or stress. You see that, don’t you?”
Taffeta nodded, her throat so tight that she couldn’t speak.
“It won’t be forever. I’ll think of a way to at least try to win her over. But until then, her father has poisoned her mind so badly against law officers that she actually trembled when she saw my uniform.”
She swallowed hard to regain her voice. “But it’s your house, not mine. If anyone is going to leave, it’ll be me. I can go back to my flat above the shop.”
“No,” he argued gently. “Your living in a real home will be important when you go to court to regain custody.”
“But it’ll go against me if the judge discovers we aren’t living together!”
“No,” he said again. “You can just explain the situation, namely that Phillip told Sarah horrible stories about policemen so he could abandon her in his car without worrying that she might call out to a cop for help. When the judge learns that you and I have temporarily separated for the sake of the child, it will go in your favor, not against you.”
Taffeta realized she was shaking. “What if it takes her years to get over her fear of cops?”
His burnished features drew into grim lines. “Then we’ll be apart for a lot longer than we hope. We’ll deal with it somehow. You can get a sitter for Sarah sometimes, maybe, and meet me somewhere.” He flashed her a forced grin. “It’ll be like dating. We never really got to do that. The sex will be mind-blowing.”
“That isn’t a marriage, Barney.”
“No, but we’ll sure as hell be putting our best effort into being good parents. The important thing is that Sarah isn’t fearful that I might show up when she’s with you in Mystic Creek or anywhere else. Judging from what you’ve said about her behavior and worldview, you’re going to have enough issues to overcome without tossing in a stepdad she’s terrified of.”
Taffeta couldn’t argue the point, and it nearly broke her heart.
• • •
Once they got home, Barney swept Taffeta up in his arms and carried her to his bedroom. She was so upset that she didn’t think she could enjoy lovemaking right then, but Barney proved her wrong. She could feel his love for her in every touch of his hands on her body.
“Maybe,” he whispered, “we should start trying to give Sarah a baby brother or sister.”
The suggestion told Taffeta what she had instinctively known about Barney almost from the start; once he made a commitment, he was totally committed.
“Maybe so,” she whispered. “Only that could be problematic if we aren’t living together.”
He kissed her so deeply that her head swam. “It won’t be forever. I’ll make friends with her somehow. Trust me.”
And then she forgot everything but this man who so gently made love to her.
Afterward, Barney threw on sweatpants and a shirt to go feed his animals. When he returned to the house, he stripped back down to his boxers, helped Taffeta into her chemise, and led her by the hand into the kitchen. “I’m starving!” he proclaimed. “Let’s make grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. That’ll be quick, and I know it’s a favorite of yours.”
“Is this our last supper?” she asked.
“Don’t think of it that way.”
He opened a bottle of wine and filled two glasses, which they sipped from as they cooked. Taffeta found it difficult to feel down in the dumps with Barney teasing her, nibbling on her neck, and telling her how much he loved her.
“I have a confession to make,” he said as they sat down to eat. “Remember that night when I knocked on your door because your music was too loud?” A gleam entered his eyes. “I asked you to put on a robe so you could open the door and talk to me.”
“I remember every detail,” she replied.
“Good. Then you recall asking me not to look while you ran to your bedroom for a robe.”
Taffeta nodded. “And you said you wouldn’t.”
His lips quivered at the corners. “I lied.”
Taffeta touched her napkin to her lips. “You peeked?”
“I more than peeked,” he admitted. “Looking back, I don’t know why it took me so long to realize I was in love with you. From that moment on, I couldn’t get you off my mind, and I couldn’t resist going back to your shop. I had it bad and just wouldn’t accept it.”
“Do you feel uncomfortable about loving me?”
He shook his head. “I feel as if everything in my life is suddenly right. Before meeting you, I never felt unhappy, but I did know something was missing. I also wanted to find the right lady and settle down, but I was in no hurry. Now, when I think about going back to that, I feel a little panicky. I’ve gotten a taste of perfection, and I don’t think I can ever settle for less again.”
“But now you are going to settle for less.”
“Only for a while, and only for Sarah. If I’m going to be her stepfather, I’ve got to be the best one I can be. Putting her needs above my own is at the top of my list.”
Tears burned in Taffeta’s eyes, but she blinked them away, refusing to let them fall. “I have a confession to make as well,” she pushed out. “When you were so determined not to make love to me, I did everything I could think of to seduce you.”
His expression sharpened. “The bourbon sauce.” He didn’t phrase it as a question. “You little minx.”
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br /> Taffeta nodded. “Yes, the sauce. And also the spider night. I didn’t really see one, but I’m afraid of them, and it was easy for me to imagine one was on me.”
Barney’s mouth quirked at the corners. “And then I said I saw it in your bra.”
“And I really panicked. Just for the record, I never intended to strip naked from the waist up. I just lost it.”
He studied her for a moment, his expression revealing nothing. “And the banana?”
Taffeta drew a blank. “What banana?”
Barney nearly grinned again. “Nothing. Forget I mentioned it.”
“You’re not angry?”
“I don’t get angry; I get even. I’m sentencing you to an undetermined amount of time taking ice-cold showers and not having sex.”
Taffeta giggled. She couldn’t help herself. “You mean my seduction attempts worked?”
“Oh yeah, they worked.”
“I thought I totally bombed and gave up on trying.”
“You didn’t bomb, and you didn’t need to try. Just being near you seduces me.”
Taffeta searched his gaze. “Are you serious about having a baby with me?”
“Dead serious. We already have a child. Why not have another one when we have the situation with Sarah straightened out? I think it would be good for her to have a little brother or sister, and we don’t want the age difference between them to be too great. I grew up in a big family. I’m not saying we should have a whole passel of kids, but a couple more sounds nice.”
“I’ve always wanted to be part of a big family.”
“And now you are. You’ve got mine.”
“But making our own large family would be fun.”
He chuckled. “Let’s start with one more and see where that leads us.”
“I hope our first baby is a boy,” Taffeta said. “I already know the perfect name for him.”
“What?”
“Barnabas Asher.”
His eyebrows snapped together in a scowl. “Over my dead body.” He leaped up from his chair as if to grab her. “You’re going to pay for teasing me about my name.”
Taffeta shrieked and jumped up so the table was between them. Then she darted from the kitchen and ran to the living room. Barney caught her near the sofa, fell onto the cushions with her in his arms, and kissed her. Electricity arced between them. She felt the jolt all through her body.
“What about my sentence to cold showers and no sex?” she asked breathlessly.
“That’ll have to wait until tomorrow,” he replied. “I’ll start looking for a rental in the morning. Until I find one, I’ll stay at Ben’s. He has plenty of room.”
He kissed her again, and Taffeta slipped over the edge into a vortex of burning need and pleasure. After making love, they lay exhausted in each other’s arms.
“Why are you in such a hurry to get out of here?”
“So you can call Sarah tomorrow and tell her you’ve kicked me to the curb.”
“I don’t know what I’ll say.”
“Just tell her the truth, that she is the most important person in the world to you, and we’ve agreed that I should leave so she can feel comfortable and unafraid when she comes to visit you.”
Taffeta tightened her arms around him, wishing she would never have to let him go.
• • •
The next morning, Taffeta awakened to find herself alone on the couch. She drew an afghan around her and wandered through the house, searching for Barney. Instead of her husband, she found a note from him on the kitchen table.
Ben says I can stay in the loft above his garage. I’m all packed up and ready to go, and I don’t want to wake you. I’ll call on the house phone to get you up before it’s time for you to open the store. I’ll come over, morning and night, to care for my critters, but I won’t come in. When Sarah is here visiting, you may have to tend to them yourself if you think my presence on the property will send her into a tailspin. I love you, Taffy girl. Thank God for cell phones. Sext me whenever you can.
Taffeta smiled through a rush of tears. She went to find her cell phone and typed, I’m naked in the kitchen and dancing with my fantasy man. She hit SEND. Within seconds, he texted back. Your fantasy man better be me, or I’ll kill him. She grinned and typed You are my one and only fantasy man, and I already miss you so badly that it hurts.
After getting ready for work, Taffeta called Cameron Gentry to explain that she and Barney were temporarily separating for Sarah’s sake. “Barney thinks it is very important for Sarah to feel comfortable and unafraid if and when she comes here to see me. I was wondering if you’d mind my calling Sarah tonight so I can tell her that he’s gone.”
“Not at all, and that husband of yours must be one fine man if he’s willing to make sacrifices like that for a child who isn’t even his.”
Cameron had no idea just how wonderful Barney was. “Yes, he is a fine man,” she agreed. “It wasn’t my idea for him to do this. It was his, and he insisted upon it.”
Minutes later as Taffeta drove to the shop, her thoughts remained centered on Barney. He loved his farmhouse, and he’d put so much of himself into every nook and cranny, working to restore it even on vacations. Now he’d be living in a barn loft. It didn’t seem right that he’d been the one to move out. But Taffeta couldn’t afford to rent a house on her meager income from the store, so she had no alternative plan.
She knew it was silly that she missed him so badly already. They’d made passionate love last night, but she felt as if she hadn’t been with him for a month. An ache had taken up residence in her chest. How could she survive without him? With both of them working, they’d been apart far longer than this many times, but somehow not being with him now seemed different—so final.
Please, God, reach down and heal Sarah’s battered little heart so Barney and I can be together again. Don’t let this separation become final because my daughter won’t accept him. Please work a little miracle.
• • •
Barney was cruising the roads of Mystic Creek when his personal cell phone rang. Glancing at the screen, he noted the number of the caller, which he didn’t recognize. Sighing, he pulled the county pickup over onto the shoulder of the byway, shifted into park, and answered.
“This is Barney.”
“Hello, Barney. It’s Cameron Gentry.”
Barney was surprised to hear from the man and wondered how he’d gotten his cell number. “Hi, Cameron. What’s up?”
Gentry chuckled. “Taffeta called me this morning. She tells me that you’ve moved out of the house so Sarah won’t dread going to see her mother.”
“That’s right. You saw how Sarah reacted. Seeing a man in uniform scared the bejesus out of her. She’ll never want to visit her mother in Mystic Creek if she thinks a big, mean cop will be in the house.”
“You’re undoubtedly right,” Cameron agreed, “and that’s why I’m calling. I have a plan. Well, sort of a plan. A way for you to get to know Sarah on neutral ground.”
Barney’s interest was piqued. “Oh yeah? I’m all ears.”
“On Tuesdays at her school, they have parent day. The mothers and fathers bring sack lunches and eat with their kids. During the winter, the meal is shared in the cafeteria. At this time of year, everyone eats at picnic tables on a big lawn behind the building.” Cameron cleared his throat. “Anyway, Grace and I used to go together every Tuesday to have lunch with Sarah. Because of my wife’s illness, I’ve been going either alone or not at all, depending on how Grace is doing.
“Bottom line, Sarah needs to spend some time with you, and I’m thinking that would be the perfect place for that to happen, short visits with her in a place she feels safe. Teachers are there. Other parents are there. And, of course, I would be there if you can get time off from work to come. I know it’s a long drive, and I’ll understand if—�
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“It’s not that long a drive,” Barney cut in. “And I think it’s a great idea. What time do these shindigs take place?”
“Noon, and please don’t show up wearing a uniform.”
Barney laughed. “I normally don’t when I’m off duty. I wore it to your home, hoping my badge would impress you.”
It was Cameron’s turn to chuckle. “Well, you were right. It did. Actually the background check I ran on you was what impressed me, but the uniform didn’t hurt.”
Staring at the dash, Barney frowned. “Is it necessary for Taffeta to know about these visits?”
“She doesn’t have to know, but why would you want to keep them secret?”
“Because I may strike out with the kid. I don’t want to get Taffy’s hopes up and then disappoint her.”
“Ah. I see your point. But I’m really hopeful about this, Barney. I called the school principal to get permission to bring you to the school and explained the situation with Sarah. The first thing the woman asked me was if you would be interested in coming early one morning to talk to the kids in the auditorium about your work. I think it would be good for Sarah to see that even her principal and teachers admire and respect lawmen. You’d be the hero of the day, and Sarah would have some bragging rights because you’re her stepfather. It may be a great thing, all around.”
“My job in Mystic Creek isn’t all that exciting, nothing like the cops on TV who risk their lives at every turn. Every once in a while, I have to break up a bar fight or kick in a front door to stop some jerk from beating his wife, but mostly I just drive the roads. If a little old lady grows frightened, I walk through her house and then all around it to settle her nerves. And I do a lot of tree climbing.”
“Tree climbing?”
“Yep. I rescue cats.”
Cameron chortled with mirth. “It’s a grade school, Barney. The kids will love hearing about cat rescue missions. If you could bring photographs that they can project onto a screen, it’ll even give the kids visuals. That will entertain them and may even appeal to Sarah. She’s begging for a kitten right now, and I can’t give her one because Grace is allergic. When Grace gets well—if she gets well—she says she’ll take allergy medications so Sarah can have a kitten, but right now her doctors want no additional stress on her body.”
New Leaf Page 26
