Chastened that our advice had produced such a painful experience, we asked Sydnee if that meant that she regretted having gone. Would she recommend such an immersion to others? Moments later a very different e-mail arrived:
I am so glad I went! I am considering going back to New Light next year. I fell in love with all of the children, but two of them, siblings Joya and Raoul (they are 4 and 6,I think), truly touched my heart and I am totally committed to making sure they get an education and get out of Kalighat [the red-light district]. I know that I did some good there, which is satisfying. The experience (good and bad) changed me forever. I have become incredibly laid back and able to deal with setbacks and hardships much more easily. I had never traveled out of the country (other than touristy trips to Bermuda, Mexico and the Bahamas) and now I can’t imagine not traveling abroad as often as possible. I made lifelong friends in India. It’s difficult to put into words—but I am a different, better person. I would definitely recommend it—especially to other single, black women. It was difficult—but necessary. India changes you—it makes you confront things about yourself that you may have chosen not to confront. As far as I’m concerned that can only be good. It was good for me.
Indeed, while the main motivation for joining this global movement is to help others, the result is often to help oneself. As Sir John Templeton said, “Self-improvement comes mainly from trying to help others.” Social psychologists have learned a great deal about happiness in recent years, and one of the surprises is that the things we believe will make us happy won’t. People who win the lottery, for example, enjoy an initial spike of happiness but then adjust and a year later are not significantly happier than those who haven’t won. Our happiness levels seem to be mostly innate, and not markedly affected by what happens to us, good or bad. People in end-stage dialysis, for example, turn out to be no different in their moods through the day than a comparison group of healthy people. And while those who suffer a crippling disability are initially deeply unhappy, they adjust quickly. One study found that just a month after becoming paraplegics, accident victims were in fairly good moods a majority of the time. Other research found that within two years of suffering a moderate disability, life satisfaction fully recovers to the predisability level. So Jonathan Haidt, a psychologist at the University of Virginia who has studied happiness, advises that if you are hit by a truck and end up a paraplegic, or if you win the lottery, remember that a year from now, it won’t make much difference to your happiness level.
Yet Professor Haidt and others advise that there are a few factors that can affect our happiness levels in a sustained way. One is “a connection to something larger”—a greater cause or a humanitarian purpose. Traditionally, this was what brought people to churches or other religious institutions, but any movement or humanitarian initiative can provide a sense of purpose that boosts one’s happiness quotient. We are neurologically constructed so that we gain huge personal dividends from altruism.
Thus we hope you will join this growing crowd and back it in whatever way you can—volunteering at Mukhtar Mai’s school in Pakistan, writing letters as part of Equality Now campaigns, or sponsoring Tostan to educate a village about genital cutting. Browse the aid groups in the appendix of this book, or go to www.charitynavigator.org. Then find a group or two that you want to commit to. Philanthropists and donors traditionally haven’t been sufficiently interested in women’s rights abroad, giving money instead to higher-brow causes such as the ballet or art museums. There could be a powerful international women’s rights movement if only philanthropists would donate as much to real women as to paintings and sculptures of women.
We don’t presume to say that all of your giving should be targeted to the needs of women abroad, any more than all of ours is. But we hope that some of your giving will go to these causes, and that you will give your time as well as your dollars. A portion of the income from this book will go to some of these organizations.
If you’re a student, find out whether your school or college has classes or study abroad programs that address these issues. Consider volunteering for a summer internship at one of the organizations we’ve talked about. Or take a “gap year” before or after university for travel or an internship. If you’re a parent, take your kids not just to London but also to India or Africa. At a town meeting, ask a candidate about maternal health. Write a letter to the editor of your local paper calling for a big push for girls’ education.
The tide of history is turning women from beasts of burden and sexual playthings into full-fledged human beings. The economic advantages of empowering women are so vast as to persuade nations to move in that direction. Before long, we will consider sex slavery, honor killings, and acid attacks as unfathomable as foot-binding. The question is how long that transformation will take and how many girls will be kidnapped into brothels before it is complete—and whether each of us will be part of that historical movement, or a bystander.
Four Steps You Can Take in the Next Ten Minutes
The first step is the hardest, so here are several things you can do right now:
Go to www.globalgiving.org or www.kiva.org and open an account. Both sites are people-to-people (P2P), meaning that they link you directly to a person in need overseas, and this makes them an excellent way to dip your toe in. Global Giving lets you choose a grassroots project to which to give money in education, health, disaster relief, or more than a dozen other areas around the developing world. Kiva lets you do the same for microlending to entrepreneurs. Browse the sites to get a sense of the needs and donate or lend money to those that appeal to you, perhaps as a gift to a family member or a friend. Or try a third site, www.givology.com, started by students at the University of Pennsylvania to help children in developing countries pay for primary school. The site initially focused on China but has since expanded to India and Africa. On Global Giving, for example, we have supported a program to keep runaway girls in Mumbai from entering prostitution, while on Kiva we lent money to a woman making furniture in Paraguay.
Sponsor a girl or a woman through Plan International, Women for Women International, World Vision, or American Jewish World Service. We ourselves are sponsors through Plan, and we exchange letters and have visited our children in the Phillippines, Sudan, and Dominican Republic. Sponsorship is also a way to teach your children that not all kids have iPods.
Sign up for e-mail updates on www.womensenews.org and a similar service, www.worldpulse.com. Both distribute information about abuses of women and sometimes advise on actions that readers can take.
Join the CARE Action Network at www.can.care.org. This will assist you in speaking out, educating policy makers, and underscoring that the public wants action against poverty and injustice. This kind of citizen advocacy is essential to create change. As we’ve said, this movement won’t be led by the president or by members of Congress, any more than their historical counterparts led the civil rights or abolitionist movements—but if leaders smell votes, they will follow. The government will act where our national interests are at stake; however, history has repeatedly shown that where our values are at stake, leadership must come from ordinary citizens like you.
These four steps are simply a way to break the ice. After you have done that, browse the organizations listed in the appendix, find one that seems particularly meaningful—and dive in. Join forces with some friends or form a giving club to multiply the impact. Now let’s get on with it and speed up the day when women truly hold up half the sky.
APPENDIX
ORGANIZATIONS SUPPORTING WOMEN
These are some of the groups that specialize in supporting women in developing countries. In addition, of course, there are many outstanding aid groups, such as International Rescue Committee, Save the Children, and Mercy Corps, that are not listed because women are not their focus. This list is not exhaustive but a rather quirky compendium of groups we’ve seen in action. It’s a starting point for further research. Two useful Web sites to consult f
or more information about aid groups are www.charitynavigator.org and www.givewell.net.
34 Million Friends of UNFPA, www.34millionfriends.org, supports the work of the UN Population Fund. It is similar to Americans for UNFPA, www.americansforunfpa.org.
Afghan Institute of Learning, www.creatinghope.org, operates schools and other programs for women and girls in Afghanistan and in the border areas of Pakistan.
American Assistance for Cambodia, www.cambodiaschools.com, has fought trafficking and now has a program to subsidize poor girls so that they remain in school.
Apne Aap, www.apneaap.org, battles sex slavery in India, including in remote areas in Bihar that get little attention. Apne Aap welcomes American volunteers.
Association for Women’s Rights in Development, www.awid.org, is a global organization focused on women’s rights.
Averting Maternal Death and Disability, www.amddprogram.org, is a leading organization focused on maternal health.
BRAC, www.brac.net, is a terrific Bangladesh-based aid group that is now expanding in Africa and Asia. It has an office in New York City and accepts interns.
Campaign for Female Education (CAMFED), www.camfed.org, supports schooling for girls in Africa.
CARE, www.care.org, increasingly has focused on women and girls.
Center for Development and Population Activities (CEDPA), www.cedpa.org, works on issues related to women and development.
Center for Reproductive Rights, www.reproductiverights.org, based in New York, focuses on reproductive health worldwide.
Central Asia Institute, www.ikat.org, run by Greg Mortenson (author of Three Cups of Tea), provides education in Pakistan and Afghanistan, for girls in particular.
ECPAT, www.ecpat.net, is a network of groups fighting child prostitution, particularly in Southeast Asia.
Edna Adan Maternity Hospital, www.ednahospital.org, provides maternity care in Somaliland. It welcomes volunteers.
Engender Health, www.engenderhealth.org, focuses on reproductive health issues in the developing world.
Equality Now, www.equalitynow.org, lobbies against the sex trade and gender oppression around the world.
Ethiopian Women Lawyers Association, www.etwla.org, mobilizes Ethiopian women to fight for equal rights.
Fistula Foundation, www.fistulafoundation.org, supports the Addis Ababa Fistula Hospital in Ethiopia, established by Reg and Catherine Hamlin.
Girls Helping Girls, www.empoweragirl.org, was founded in 2007 by a fifteen-year-old California girl, Sejal Hathi. It builds relationships between girls across continents and supports education and health programs in fifteen countries.
Global Fund for Women, www.globalfundforwomen.org, operates like a venture capital fund for women’s groups in poor countries.
Global Grassroots, www.globalgrassroots.org, is a young organization focused on women in poor countries, particularly Sudan.
Grameen Bank, www.grameen-info.org, pioneered microfinance in Bangladesh and has now branched into an array of development programs.
Heal Africa, www.healafrica.org, runs a hospital in Goma, Congo, that repairs fistulas and tends to rape victims. It welcomes volunteers.
Hunger Project, www.thp.org, focuses on empowerment of women and girls to end hunger.
International Center for Research on Women, www.icrw.org, emphasizes gender as the key to economic development.
International Justice Mission, www.ijm.org, is a Christian-based organization that fights sex trafficking.
International Women’s Health Coalition, www.iwhc.org, based in New York, has been a leader in the struggle for reproductive health rights around the globe.
New Light, www.newlightindia.org, is Urmi Basu’s organization to help prostitutes and their children in Kolkata, India. It welcomes volunteers.
Population Services International, www.psi.org, is based in Washington, D.C., and makes fine use of the private sector in reproductive health.
Pro Mujer, www.promujer.org, supports women in Latin America through microfinance and business training.
Safer Birth in Chad, www.saferbirthinchad.org, supports maternal health programs in Chad.
Self Employed Women’s Association (SEWA), www.sewa.org, is a huge union for poor, self-employed women in India. It accepts volunteers.
Shared Hope International, www.sharedhope.org, fights sex trafficking around the world.
Somaly Mam Foundation, www.somaly.org, led by a woman who as a child was trafficked herself, fights sex slavery in Cambodia.
Tostan, www.tostan.org, is one of the most successful organizations in overcoming female genital cutting in Africa. It accepts interns.
Vital Voices, www.vitalvoices.org, supports women’s rights in many countries and has been particularly active in fighting trafficking.
White Ribbon Alliance for Safe Motherhood, www.whiteribbonalliance.org, campaigns against maternal mortality around the world.
Women for Women International, www.womenforwomen.org, connects women sponsors with needy women in conflict or postconflict countries.
Women’s Dignity Project, www.womensdignity.org, cofounded by an American woman, facilitates the repair of obstetric fistulas in Tanzania.
Women’s Learning Partnership, www.learningpartnership.org, emphasizes women’s leadership and empowerment in the developing world.
Women’s Refugee Commission, www.womensrefugeecommission.org, is linked to the International Rescue Committee and focuses on refugee women and children.
Women’s World Banking, www.womensworldbanking.org, supports microfinance institutions around the world that assist women.
Women Thrive Worldwide, www.womenthrive.org, is an international advocacy group focused on the needs of women in poor countries.
Worldwide Fistula Fund, www.worldwidefistulafund.org, works to improve maternal health and is building a fistula hospital in Niger.
Worth, www.worthwomen.org, runs literacy and microsavings programs in Nepal and Africa, with the aim of helping women earn their own incomes.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
This book arose in large part from our years of reporting together for The New York Times, and so we owe a huge debt to those who made that reporting possible. That group includes Arthur Sulzberger Jr., who gave Nick the column and who with his family has supported the Times’s vision of covering important news all over the world despite the cost. When we watched other news organizations pull back from covering international news in recent years, we were enormously relieved and proud to be part of a family-owned newspaper with the backing of the Sulzbergers. They show a steadfast commitment to a mission greater than quarterly profits, and all consumers of news owe them a huge debt of gratitude.
Among others at The Times to whom we owe special thanks are Bill Keller, Gail Collins, and Nick’s current editor, Andrew Rosenthal. It was Andy who approved the book leave that made this work possible and who puts up with Nick periodically disappearing into jungles and conflict zones. Naka Nathaniel, a former Times videographer, regularly accompanied Nick on trips for five years, beginning during the Iraq war, and was the perfect companion when they were arrested together in one country after another. David Sanger, the chief Washington correspondent of The Times, has been a pal since we were in college together and a terrific sounding board ever since. And a special thanks to the many foreign correspondents of The Times from Kabul to Johannesburg who opened their homes, offices, and Rolodexes to us when we dropped into town.
Many years ago Bill Safire introduced us to the best of literary agents: Anne Sibbald and Mort Janklow. They have been enormously helpful ever since and have played midwife to each of our books. Jonathan Segal, our editor at Knopf, is an editorial alchemist who was an early believer in this project and greatly shaped it at every stage. Meticulous editing is a dying art in much of the publishing industry, but not with Jon and not at Knopf.
A handful of people read the entire manuscript and offered detailed suggestions. These include Esther Duflo of MIT; Josh Ruxin of Colu
mbia University; Helene Gayle of CARE; Sara Seims of the Hewlett Foundation; and Jason DeParle, Courtney Sullivan, and Natasha Yefimov of The Times.
A special group of people has worked tirelessly to spread the message of Half the Sky throughout the multimedia world, including film, television, and cyberspace. Mikaela Beardsley has brought together an extraordinary group, including a fellow film producer, Jamie Gordon, along with Lisa Witter of Fenton Communications and Ashley Maddox and Dee Poku of The Bridge. They are passionately committed to sparking a new movement on behalf of the world’s women. In addition, Suzanne Seggerman at Games for Change and Alan Gershenfeld at E-line Ventures have contributed their energy and expertise to create a video game of Half the Sky.
Suad Ahmed, telling her story in a refugee camp in Chad (Nicholas D. Kristof)
We dedicated our first book to our parents, Ladis and Jane Kristof and David and Alice WuDunn, and we could dedicate every book and article we have ever written to our parents without coming close to requiting our debts to them. Then there are our children—Gregory, Geoffrey, and Caroline—who endured a measure of negligence because of our reporting and writing. Our dinner table has often been the sounding board for ideas expressed here, and they helpfully pointed out when our ideas were inane.
The heart of this book is the reporting we undertook over many years in Asia, Africa, and Latin America. We intruded by asking women to describe intimate, terrifying, or stigmatizing experiences, and stunningly often they agreed. Sometimes they risked punishment from the authorities or the ostracism of their communities, yet they still cooperated because they wanted to help battle oppression. We’ll never forget Suad Ahmed, a twenty-five-year-old Darfuri woman whom we met in a Chadian refugee camp encircled by Janjaweed militias. Suad had ventured out with her beloved younger sister, Halima, to get firewood to cook food, when she saw the Janjaweed racing toward them. Suad told Halima to run back to the camp and then boldly made a diversion of herself by jumping up and running in the opposite direction so that Halima could escape. The Janjaweed saw Suad and ran after her; then they beat her, and eight of them gang-raped her. She allowed us to tell her story, using her name. When we asked why, she answered: That’s the only way I can fight back against the Janjaweed, by telling what happened to me and giving my name.
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