by Nick Hornby
JENNY
Paris.You can’t buy them here.
TINA
(suddenly looking at her suspiciously)
You never bought them yourself?
JENNY
(mimicking TINA’S grammar cruelly)
No. I never.
TINA
Shut up, you stuck-up cow.
JENNY
But I’ll bring you some back, if you want.
TINA
You’re joking.
JENNY
Non.
HAT TIE
He’s taking you to Paris?
JENNY
(smiling smugly)
Oui.
HAT TIE
This term?
JENNY
Peut-être.
TINA
Isn’t it your birthday next Thursday?
JENNY
Might be.
The two friends shriek and jump up and down.
HATTIE
Oh, my God! Your birthday!
TINA
I would not like to be you. All those suppers you’ve had off him. Ouch.
JENNY
You’ve such a Victorian attitude to sex, you two.
TINA
Oh, sorry, Dr Kinsey. We’re not all as experienced as you. I mean, you’ve done it . . . (She counts on her fingers) I make it never! Can that be right?
HAT TIE
But your parents wouldn’t let you swan off like that, would they?
JENNY
We haven’t told them yet. But David will come up with some story. He usually does.
TINA
Yeah, I’ve noticed that.
Laughter. JENNY glances off into the distance and spots the GYM TEACHER heading back in their direction. They stand up, grind their Sobranies into the mud and set off at a brisk trot.The Sobranie stubs come to rest near a pile of dog poo.
59 INTERIOR: CLASSROOM - DAY
HATTIE, TINA and JENNY are sitting on their desks, waiting for a lesson to start. HATTIE shows JENNY a piece of paper which apparently contains some kind of shopping list.
TINA
(pointing at Hattie, then at herself )
Chanel perfume, Chanel perfume. (She repeats the gesture.) Chanel lipstick, Chanel lipstick.
HAT TIE
Those funny cigarettes you were smoking. Sobranies. Ten packets each.
A very SMALL GIRL, twelve or thirteen, comes in to the classroom and approaches JENNY. She’s clutching a ten-shilling note.
SMALL GIRL
How much is the Chanel perfume?
TINA, HATTIE and JENNY stare at her, nonplussed.
Well, are you the girl going to Paris or are you not, because . . .
MISS STUBBS comes into the classroom carrying books and essays. She sees the SMALL GIRL and shoos her out while the other girls follow. As JENNY comes past, she whispers discreetly into her ear.
MISS STUBBS
Jenny, the headmistress wants a word with you. The legend of Mr Rochester may have travelled further than you intended.
JENNY looks at her, startled and a little sick.
60 INTERIOR: HEADMISTRESS’S OFFICE/ CORRIDOR - DAY
The office is dark, wood-panelled, foreboding, apparently designed to put all visitors ill-at-ease.The HEADMISTRESS would probably choose to be wood-panelled if she could. She’s tweedy, bespectacled, severe. There is a knock at the door. She doesn’t look up from her paperwork.
HEADMISTRESS
Come.
JENNY enters, looking young and frightened.
Ah. Miss Mellor.
JENNY tries to look at her with all the courage she can muster.
We’re all very excited about your forthcoming trip to Paris. Our excitement, indeed, knows no bounds. Some of us can talk of little else.
JENNY looks at her feet.
An older man, I understand? A word of warning, Miss Mellor. There may well have been the odd sixth-form girl who has lost an important part of herself - perhaps the best part - while under our supervision. These things happen, regrettably. If, however, we are made aware of this loss, then of course the young lady in question would have to continue her studies elsewhere, if, that is, she still has any use for A-levels. Do I make myself clear?
JENNY
Can I go now?
HEADMISTRESS
If you would.
JENNY turns round and walks out without saying another word.
61 INTERIOR: JENNY’S HOUSE - EVENING
GRAHAM, JENNY and her father are at the dinner table, sitting in the dark.
JACK
(shouting to MARJORIE)
What are you doing in there?
JENNY
Well, I imagine she’s lighting the candles on my cake.
JACK
You’re seventeen, not two hundred and fifty.
There is an awkward pause.
GRAHAM
Thanks for inviting me.
JACK
It was Marjorie’s idea, not mine. Not even Jenny’s, come to that.
GRAHAM looks stung.
JENNY
(appalled )
Dad!
MARJORIE kicks the door open with her foot and comes in holding a birthday cake with seventeen candles burning on it. She puts it down carefully on the table.
JACK
Blow them out, before the house burns down.
JENNY closes her eyes, blows out her candles, just as -
GRAHAM
Make a . . . oh, OK. Don’t worry . . .
Everyone applauds as JACK gets up to turn the lights on. We can see that by JENNY’S side is an unopened, carefully wrapped present - clearly a book.
MARJORIE
Who’d like a piece?
In truth, the cake is a rather sorry and unappetising specimen.There isn’t enough icing on the top. She cuts a couple of slices which immediately collapse.
GRAHAM
It doesn’t matter . . .
JACK
Come on. Presents.
Without any real enthusiasm, JENNY opens the present.
It’s a new Latin dictionary.
JENNY
Oh. Thank you. I needed a new one.
GRAHAM
(crestfallen)
Oh dear. Snap!
GRAHAM hands over a wrapped present exactly the same size and shape as the dictionary.
The doorbell rings. JACK goes to answer it, and immediately the house is energised: it’s DAVID.
From the hallway:
JACK (out of sight)
Good grief.You should see this!
DAVID enters.You can hardly see him for all the parcels and flowers he’s carrying.
DAVID
It’s a special day.
JENNY, delighted, moves the dictionaries to make way for DAVID’S presents.
JACK
Makes your dictionary look a bit feeble, eh, Graham?
GRAHAM
Gosh!
GRAHAM looks pained. MARJORIE notices.
MARJORIE
And ours, too, come to that.
DAVID
And these are for you.
DAVID gives MARJORIE a basket of beautiful roses.
MARJORIE
Oh, David.
DAVID
(to GRAHAM)
Hello, young man.
JACK
David, would you like a drink?
DAVID
I’d love one.
GRAHAM
I’d best be going. I’ve got a stack of homework to do.
GRAHAM says his goodbyes. DAVID sits down in his place.
MARJORIE
Wonderful to see you, Graham.
GRAHAM
(to JENNY)
Goodbye, Jenny.
JENNY
(brightly, without looking up)
Bye, Graham.
GRAHAM makes to leave with a last attempt to catch JENNY’S eye, without success. MARJORIE shows him to the door.
JACK
A little something warming?
DAVID
You know me so well.
Hearty laughter from the two men.
JENNY
Can I open anything yet?
MARJORIE comes back into the room.
MARJORIE
Wait for me.
DAVID
Before you open that lot, I’ve got a surprise. Next weekend, we’re all going to Café de Flore to celebrate Jenny’s birthday.
JACK
(flatly)
Lovely.
DAVID
Café de Flore is in the Boulevard St Germain. In Paris.
JENNY giggles her delight. JACK’S smile is a little more forced.
JACK
How d’you mean, Paris?
JENNY
You know the one, Dad.
JACK
(panic rising)
But . . . We don’t have any French money. And besides, it’s too . . . I don’t think it would agree with me.
JENNY
Dad!
JACK
The French don’t like us, Jenny, you know that. John Sutton from work, he went there last year. They were very rude to him.
JENNY understands DAVID’S ploy perfectly, and the role she must play. Her eyes fill with tears. JACK notices.
I don’t want to spoil anyone’s fun, but . . . It’s just not for me, Europe.You’ll have to go another time.
JENNY
(bitterly)
You’ve just said you don’t like Europe. What’s going to change? It’ll have to be Europe, won’t it? Because it certainly won’t be you.
MARJORIE
I’ll take her.
JACK
(genuinely indignant)
To the Continent? And leave me here on my own?
JENNY
Oh, for God’s sake.
JENNY gets up furiously and takes her presents to the other side of the sitting room.
JACK looks cornered. He needs to find a way out.
DAVID
What do you think? You know what Jenny’s like about France, Jack. About French films and books and music.
He looks at JACK for a response.
JACK
(discomfited)
Of course I do.
DAVID
Sorry.Yes. It goes without saying. She’s your daughter. Jenny likes to joke about how you’re a stick-in-the mud and all the rest of it, but I know that’s not who you are. Otherwise she wouldn’t be who she is.
JACK
(uncertainly)
No.
DAVID
But I can also see that I’ve acted out of turn, and I’m sorry.
JACK looks at JENNY. Even he can see that he can’t do this to her.
JACK
What about your Aunt Helen?
DAVID catches JENNY’S eye and she smiles. JACK smiles, too; he’s off the hook.
62 EXTERIOR: TWICKENHAM, STREET - NIGHT
The Bristol is speeding down the road.
JENNY
An hour late.
DAVID
We’ll make it, I promise.
63 INTERIOR: HEATHROW HOTEL BEDROOM - EVENING
DAVID and JENNY enter the room.
DAVID
OK, there’s a flight at eight in the morning.
JENNY
Good.
JENNY stares at the featureless sitting room.
There’s no bed.
DAVID
I pushed the boat out and got us a suite.
JENNY
A suite!
DAVID
If work stops us getting to Paris until tomorrow, then work can buy us a nice hotel room. Anyway, it’s a special occasion, isn’t it?
JENNY
I’d have thought that tonight of all nights we only need a bed.
Close on DAVID’S reaction - she hasn’t forgotten that tonight’s the night.
64 INTERIOR: HOTEL BEDROOM - NIGHT
DAVID and JENNY in bed, in a dimly lit bedroom.They are kissing - DAVID more passionately than JENNY. He is making little whimpers of excitement, and JENNY is clearly trying hard to hide her nerves.We’re acutely aware of her age, and of her virginity. Suddenly DAVID breaks off.
DAVID
Hold on one second. I’ve got something.
Rather absurdly, he disappears into the other room to look for something. He comes back with a banana. JENNY stares at him.
I thought . . . I thought we might want to practice with this.
He brandishes the banana. JENNY shrieks with horror.
JENNY
With a banana?
DAVID
I thought we might get the messy bit over with first.
JENNY
David! I don’t want to lose my virginity to a piece of fruit.
DAVID
I’m sorry.
DAVID attempts to kiss her again. JENNY wriggles clear.
JENNY
I think the moment might have gone.
I think we should wait until Paris.
DAVID
I’m an idiot and I’m sorry.
JENNY doesn’t deny it.
JENNY
David . . . if tomorrow night does happen, it will only ever happen once.
DAVID
(alarmed )
Why will it only ever happen once?
JENNY
Because the first time can only ever happen once.
DAVID
(relieved )
Oh.
JENNY
So, no baby-talk. No Minnie. Just treat me like a grown-up.
DAVID looks chastened.
(brightly)
I know. Let’s go and sit in our sitting room.
DAVID
(cheered up)
All right! We’ll order up some champagne.
JENNY looks at him with what might, from one angle, be construed as fondness.
MONTAGE SEQUENCE - PARIS
Juliette Greco on the soundtrack. DAVID and JENNY take the trip down the Seine past the Eiffel Tower.
They peruse the bookstalls along the river bank.
JENNY poses with the Seine and Notre Dame behind her. DAVID takes her picture. She looks fantastic in the clothes DAVID has given her for her birthday.
A handsome Parisian on a moped rides by and eyes up
JENNY, to DAVID’s annoyance.
DAVID and JENNY dance by the banks of the river. They end up at sunset with wine and a picnic looking out across the Seine.
65 EXTERIOR: PARIS HOTEL - DAWN
JENNY is smoking on the second-floor balcony of a simple, pretty Parisian hotel, wearing a glamorous-looking slip and looking across at the Sacre Coeur.
66 INTERIOR: HOTEL ROOM - DAWN
The bedroom is simple and romantic - everything the airport hotel wasn’t. DAVID is lying amid rumpled sheets, smoking what is clearly a post-coital cigarette, and watching JENNY from behind.
DAVID
Do you still feel like a schoolgirl?
JENNY turns and steps in, smiles, shakes her head.
It wasn’t too uncomfortable?
JENNY
Not after the . . . first bit. It’s funny, though, isn’t it? All that poetry, and all those songs, about something that lasts no time at all?
DAVID looks at her. She isn’t being cruel. She just doesn’t know any different. She returns to the view. He smokes ruminatively.
67 INTERIOR: CLASSROOM - DAY
JENNY’S English class, including HATTIE and TINA, file past MISS STUBBS at the end of a lesson.
MISS STUBBS
And your exercise books on my desk in a pile, please.
MISS STUBBS clearly has something to say to JENNY, but is hesitant; JENNY wants to talk to her, too, but is equally shy. Eventually JENNY produces a bottle of perfume from her school bag.
JENNY
I bought this for you.
