by OMNICAdmin
“‘Here now,’ I said, somewhat
“The plain-clothes men began to look
raucous, ‘what do you think I am? A tin
sideways at me like they thought I was a
soldier? How much breakfast do you think
candidate for the insectorium, and if it hadn’t I’ve had? And how much money do you think been for the bulldog it wouldn’t have taken I’ve got?’ I turned my pockets inside out to much argument to convince me I’d dreamed
demonstrate my embarrassed condition, the whole plot myself. There wasn’t a thing financially, and he rallied like a man coining the least bit suspicious, even.
out of a stage faint.
“Anyway, we took the dog and went
“‘Etta,’ he bellowed down the over to the Union Station. Had they lost a stairway, ‘get this man a square meal on the white bull pup? You bet they had. “He
table about as quick as you ever did anything belonged to Miss Gladiola Godiva, of the
in your life, and send the kid to the saloon Blue-bell Burlesquers, and, according to
after a can.’ That was sounding something reports already received, there had been a row more like it, then he said lo me:
when he showed up missing. He was a
“‘By George, I never thought but what
registered dog, with a pedigree as long as a you’d had your breakfast. You’ll have to dry Sunday; worth mints of money, they said, excuse me this time.’
and were awful much obliged for him being
“I couldn’t do otherwise, and I’ll let
returned.
you guess what I did to that breakfast; and that
“But the cops said no; he might be
bucket of beer. Afterward I felt different.
needed for evidence against the thieves, so
“We took a car for police headquarters
they’d better take him to the station and and got a couple of plain-clothes cops to help consult the chief first. In the meantime the round-up the pirates. I piloted the party to the railroad company could wire the young lady place, and we descended from all directions at and let her know about it—if they so desired; once on the said stronghold of lawlessness.
there wasn’t any harm in that.
“What do you think we captured?
“On the way to the police-station, I
Huh! Nothing but an old woman, blind in one made friends with the dog. It was a case of eye, who took on most pitiful; said she was. a affinities with him and me; love at first sight.
poor widow and had only one son, who
“While the cops were out looking for
worked for the street-railway company, laying the son that worked on the street railway,
A Bo and a Bulldog
7
Byers and I loafed around the station and I version of how he got the dog tallied with his doctored the bulldog up with some liniment mother’s story straight enough, so-they let him for his bruises, and rustled him some bones to go.
gnaw. That’s the way to get on the oozy side
“Byers hadn’t been mixed up in it at
of man or beast; get ’em something to eat.
all while they had the man under fire. He’d kept himself out of sight; so when the fellow walked out of the station, Byers sauntered after him, giving the rest of the push the wink.
“As for me, 1 didn’t know just exactly
what to do next myself. It was considerably past eat-time; I was broke, and nobody
seemed to be falling over themselves to invite me out to lunch.
“I was getting more disgusted every
minute. Finally I got up to take a saunter out into the residence district on a small matter of business, when I heard the desk-cop talking to somebody over the phone.
“‘Says he don’t want the dog, eh? Oh,
her husband! I see. D’you fellows want him down there? No; we’ve got no use for him. I don’t know about that. No. Yes. Well, all right.’ Then he turned around to me and,
seeing I was interested, said:
“‘They got a wire from that showgirl’s
husband, and he says he’s glad the dog’s lost; hopes he’ll stay lost. Says his wife hasn’t got the slightest use for a dog anyhow, and he’s more bother than he’s worth.
“‘He asks us to ditch him on the quiet,
and he’ll consider it a favor. The baggage
“When they finally brought in the outfit don’t want him, nor anybody around fellow we were waiting for, the white dog and here, so I guess it’s the soap grease for his.’
I were side partners. You ought to have seen
“‘Give him to me,’ I said. ‘I’ll take
him growl and show his teeth at the guy. It him.’
was plain that he didn’t like him.
“‘Sure thing,’ he said gladly. ‘Take
“As for me, I’d never seen the fellow
him along and welcome.’
And that’s how I
before. He wasn’t one of the three in the happened to have another mouth to feed in my grocery wagon, I could swear to that; neither family.
was he the rooster that swiped the dog from
“Bench was the name engraved on his
the baggage-room. I told them so as soon as collar, and he wagged his piece of a tail when they brought him in.
I called him by it, and went with me like he’d
“Under the circumstances they already made up his mind about the matter.
couldn’t do anything else but turn the fellow We drifted out around town a while, acquiring loose after asking him a few questions. His thirty-five cents in real money during the same
Railroad Man’s Magazine 8
by means of the usual confidences confided to when I jug the pirates.’
the right parties. Some gave up easy, an’ some
“Bench is the boy that really did the
didn’t.
work, though, and he did it simply to get
“Then we entered the odoriferous square for a few kicks he’d received confines of a chile-bazaar, and once more previously. That same night, about midnight, stayed the maddening pangs. Somewhere we two of the secret service were nosing along about six o’clock we ran across Byers.
around in the alley back of the place under
“I’ve been looking all over town for
suspicion, when Bench began to growl.
you, man,’ he said. ‘Where’ve you been?
“He didn’t bark, I should say not; he’s
How’d you vamose with the dog?’
got too good blood in him for that. He just
“I told him how it was, and asked for
bristled up his bristles and rumbled in his news. Nothing doing.
chest and prowled off up the alley.
“‘I followed that man all afternoon,’ he
“I chased along behind him, and three
said ; ‘and, by George, if he’s crooked, he’s a back yards away he slid under the fence and slick one. First he went home and had his pounced onto a man who was drawing some
dinner. He was still there when the one-
water out of a well. There was a succession of o’clock whistles blew, so I supposed he noises, growls, curses, and grunts, and I wasn’t going to work in the afternoon.
hurried through the gate to pull the dog off.
“‘I had it sized up that he’d slip some
“I thought he was overdoing the
word to the gang, if he’s mixed up in it in any sleuthing business a little. Just then another way, so I hung around in the neighborhood.
guy came out of the kitchen door of the
He came out finally and slouched over to
shanty, and in the light from a lamp inside, Sixth Street to a saloon, where he loafed the w’ich streamed out, I recognized him as one rest of the time, playing cards with the bunch of the pirates in the wagon I’d fo
llowed up-of rounders that hang out there; nothing town the night before.
suspicious about that. It looks like he’s what
“What do you think? Before I even
he claims to be.’
stopped to consider the consequences, I
“‘You go ahead with your regular bustled up and swung at the fellow’s head; work around the yards,’ I said to Byers, ‘and and I’ll never tell the truth again as long as I I’ll camp on the trail of these people. I’ve got live if I didn’t catch him just right, and down nothing else to do. I know that’s where the he went like a log. I’d knocked him out.
wagon stopped that night, at least.’
“Aunt Annie! Wouldn’t that give you a
“‘And, by the way,’ I mentioned start? I didn’t stop at that, though; I sailed casually, ‘you couldn’t loan a poor devil a right into the other one, and Bench and I dollar, could you, till pay-day? This detecting between us had him down and begging for
business is the most appetizing line I’ve been mercy in short order.
in lately.’
“He was a good deal too noisy about it,
“‘I’ll make it a five,’ he said, grinning; so I choked him till his tongue stuck out. I
‘and good-by, if I never see you again.’
took it for granted that there wasn’t any more
“I suppose he thought that, with that
of ’em in the house, or they’d have come out much money in my possession, I wouldn’t
by that time; so between Bench and me we
lose any time catching a steamer for Europe or dragged and worried the guy into the kitchen, some other seaport for the idle rich.
where the first thing I saw was a piece of rope
“‘Good-by,’ I said. ‘Leave your clothes-line, with which I tied his hands and address, so I can write you the particulars feet. Not until he was tied good and solid did
A Bo and a Bulldog
9
that persevering dog let up chewing on him more by looking around—the one Bench had
either, and him bawling murder.
it in for—and remarked:
“Then I left Bench licking his chops
“‘I wish I’d a killed that dog last night and standing guard, while I went out and
instead of listenin’ to you an’ Sam.’
brought in the other victim. Him I roped up
“Aha! So Sam wasn’t so innocent after
also, and the trick was done. Slick work, all. Sam was the old woman’s son. That was wasn’t it? Hawkshaw Souders to the good!
all that was said. They just looked the rest of Modest blushes.
the time. Bench laid himself down contentedly and went to sleep.
“About three o’clock somebody drove
up out in front with a wagon, kind of quietly.
The pirates heard it and exchanged looks.
“‘It’s all off now,’ I thought to myself.
‘Here comes probably eight or ten more, and they’ll eat the said Hawkshaw and his dog Bench alive.’
“I sneaked to the window and looked
out. It was as dark as black cats, and I couldn’t see but one man. He was just coming in.
“I shoved Bench back with my foot,
and laid low behind the door with the gun.
When the guy lifted the latch, both of the pirates in the kitchen sung out to him to look out, but it was too late. Too late for the
“The place was a two-room shack with
newcomer, for I’d already whanged him
not much furniture in it: a wooden bedstead, a across the coco with the barrel of the pistol, table made out of a goods-box, a coal-oil and down he went like a steer under the
lamp, and some rickety chairs. There was a hammer.
thirty-two caliber revolver on the table, and
“I must have been pretty scared and hit
what was left of a can of beer.
him a little too vicious, for it took the city
“I attended to both; then I searched the
physician the biggest part of the next day to pirates. They didn’t have much on them; some bring him out of it. I didn’t take any risks small change, pocket-knives, and makings for then, though; I tore up a sheet and tied him up, cigarettes.
too.
“I was up against it, now after I’d
“In mussing up the bed thereby, I
caught the rascals. I was afraid to leave them found some of the loot, silks and laces and to go after a cop, and afraid to start with them things, stowed under the covers. There were to the station for fear they’d get away.
also several cases that looked like canned
“I knew I couldn’t hit the side of a
goods on the floor underneath. I had the right warehouse with a pistol, and they looked parties all right, you bet.
mighty good to me, tied hand and foot, after
“Along about then I had an idea, and
I’d cooled down a bit. Mighty good!
before it got cold I put it into execution. I’d
“We didn’t hold any conversation. The
load up the works and take ’em in the wagon only thing said was after the one I’d slugged to the police-station.
woke up and began to enjoy himself once
“Before I had time to think it over and
Railroad Man’s Magazine 10
back out, I had muzzled the three with rags had been enjoying quite a nice business.
tied around their faces to keep them from
“They’re all three in the hoe business
yelling and disturbing the neighborhood, and now, down at Jeff City. The old woman and had two of ’em loaded on. Then I put Bench her son Sam couldn’t be proven guilty of any on the wagon-seat to stand guard, while I got part in it; and if there were any more of the the last victim and what odds and ends of the pirates, they got away.
plunder I could load up in a hurry.
“We got three of them and scared off
“Were they surprised to see us when
the rest. Byers put it pretty strong to the we drove in to headquarters? Aunt Annie!
company, I guess, for they came back as
You ought to have seen ’em.
substantial as I could have expected, and then
“It ain’t often that somebody drives up
some.
with a wagon-load of pirates, all tied and
“They also offered me a steady job,
muzzled, that he has caught with the sleuthing, and I took ’em up. That’s what I’m assistance of a lone bulldog. I was considered doing now, together with Bench here.
the prize-winning fool for luck; either that, or
“Bench can smell a crook across a
a thief-catcher.
country. Shake hands with Bench Souders,
“When the news reached Byers, he late of the Bluebell Burlesquers.”
wouldn’t believe it; but when they went over I made overtures to pat the white
to the shanty and found a cellar full of bulldog on the head, at which his bristles rose robbers’ loot, he thought it was about the noticeably and he mumbled something in his hottest catch of the season. The guy who had throat.
brought the wagon turned out to be a fellow
“Excuse me!” I said with some
that operated a small store, and had always trepidation; “I think I hear my train coming. I been considered respectable. He disposed of reckon I’d better be hiking.”
the most of the stuff at regular prices, and they
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