Kirin reached out a hand and laid it on his rigid arm, wanting to connect with him now that he was opening up. He must have felt so alone as a little boy. “So why’s he here if you guys don’t get along?”
“He wants me to go back home to try to persuade Mom and Dad to go into a retirement home. And I will as soon as I’m finished with this project. I told him as much on the phone, and texts, but he seems to think talking face to face will change my mind about going sooner. It didn’t. He’s going back tomorrow.”
Kirin’s heart ached for Blake and what the family had been through. It was no wonder he was so defensive about his looks and the business he’d created. The reasons for him being so closed, so distrustful of his inner-self, were easy to see now. “Bryn also told me you live in New York, not San Francisco. Why would you keep something like that from me?” Hurt pulsed like tiny daggers in her veins.
“I don’t work for Dent and Douglas.” He shifted in his seat. “I want to buy their business, but they wouldn’t sell while their reputation was suffering under you. I should’ve told you from the beginning, but you took some convincing, and I thought it was an unnecessary complication. That you’d think my priority was a quick solution rather than the right solution if I told you the truth.”
Her chest hollowed. “So your mission was to turn me around and then they’d sell?”
“Yes.” His eyes were downcast.
“And you led me to believe it was because you were so concerned about the state of my career.” She frowned as everything started to become clear. “And it wasn’t about me at all. It was about you and your career.”
He leaned closer, but she sat straighter, hugging herself, heart cracking. “And if you couldn’t turn me around? If you didn’t manage to soften my hard edges, drag me kicking and screaming into the twenty-first century, then what?” Her voice shook. “You’d lose the only thing that matters to you—building your empire?” How could she have been so naïve to think she was his sole focus? She was nothing more than a ticket to his success. She’d been in that position before, but this time it felt a whole lot worse.
He ran his hand up and down her arm, and little shivers raced through her body. “It’s not going to happen. We have some great publicity shots, the charity dinner, the Felicity Farrell interview. You’re doing incredibly well. I couldn’t be more proud of you.”
Despite the warmth in his eyes and his flattering talk, her throat closed. “I feel as though I’ve been used.”
He continued the slow back and forth slide up her arm, and he let out a chuckle. “Used? How? You signed a contract, knew the time constraints. How have I used you?”
“You haven’t told me the truth. Either about what this project means to you, or who you really are.” Her jaw tightened, her pulse to harden, and a slow anger bubbled up from the deepest part of her. “I trusted you, Blake. I put my whole self—the way I look, the way I act, how I make love—I put all those things into your hands. But before I did that I asked if I could trust you and you looked me in the eye and told me yes. Why would you lie to me?” She swatted angry tears.
His hand stilled on her arm. “Kirin, I’m sorry,” he said. “I should’ve told you earlier about D and D, and me only visiting here, but it changes nothing. In fact, I think it’s helped.”
“How on earth has it helped?” She moved her arm from under his, the sudden loss of connection she’d felt building over the last few days sitting raw and wounded in her chest.
“I didn’t tell you about what I had to do to buy D and D because it would’ve been too much pressure on you. You had enough to cope with. What you suffered with Trent Bray, all the media interest, the Larry Williams show, and the sex tape. All along you’ve thought you were doing all this for yourself, not for me, and look what you’ve achieved. By focusing on you, the media interest has died down, you’re getting out and about again, and anyone who sees you knows your confidence has been boosted out of sight.”
She frowned, but waited for him to explain more.
“This whole project has been about us focusing on you, not me. That’s why I didn’t tell you about my professional goals, or about my life outside work. This has, and always will be, all about you.”
He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers, and the familiar fizz through her blood took hold. What he said was true. This had never been about him, or even the two of them. It was only about her and what he could do with her. He’d never promised her anything different, but it didn’t stop the empty feeling that was growing deep inside.
Maybe this would just have to be part of her awakening as well. Learning she could share her body with someone, be close without investing anything more. It ran against everything she’d always believed in, but it was all Blake had to offer.
Could she take the risk of not falling for him? Or would she ever be satisfied that he truly didn’t have anything to give her, and this was all it would be?
He pulled back and held her face in his hands. “When I first met you, I couldn’t have imagined how far you’d come, but I think it’s a credit to both of us that we’re at the stage where we’re almost ready to launch you back into the world.”
She swallowed and stitched on a smile. There were only five days left in the contract. Five days for her to fulfill her end of the bargain, and then their time together would be over. She cleared her throat “So what’s left for you to do?”
Blake’s face lit up. “I’ll be presenting to D and D next Monday afternoon, directly after the Felicity Farrell interview, and if that’s gone well and all the other indicators are good then I’ll get to buy my company.”
“Which means you’ll be heading back to New York.”
“Yes, but it also means five whole nights of us being together before that. And I don’t want to waste a single one of them.”
He leaned in to kiss her again, and when she opened herself up to him, he laid her back on the couch. He was right. There were only five days and nights left until Blake got what he wanted. She was a means to his business end, and the fact he’d kept that from her burned. But things were different now. She’d seen a tiny part of the real Blake, and she wanted so much more.
“So, what are you going to do about Bryn?” Kirin said, reaching for the coffee Blake had just brought her. He’d been reluctant to leave the bed after they’d made love this morning, but there was a lot to do today. Seeing her now with her halo of hair and her freshly flushed skin, he wanted to take the cup from her hands and lay her body out again.
“Do? About what?” He settled himself beside her.
“He leaves for Salem tonight, doesn’t he? Don’t you think you two should get something sorted?”
He stretched his legs out in front and flexed his feet. “He shouldn’t have turned up here. I’ve already told him I’ll help sort things when I have enough time to give it the attention it deserves.”
“Which will be when?” Her gaze held steady on his face. He thought they’d put his family and his past to rest last night. “It’s complicated. I’ll do it when it’s time.”
She dropped her voice to the soothing tone she used with Dudley, and his spine stiffened. “I’ve been the recipient of your own time, Blake, and it can be frustrating. And actually quite rude.”
He shrugged. “I get busy.”
Kirin put her dusky lips to the rim of the cup and sipped. “What you do is you make people wait until you’re ready, and it can give the impression you don’t care. Deep down, I know you do.”
Guilty as charged. And he’d done it to remind her who was in charge, but he hadn’t done it in a long time. He shifted uncomfortably. It seemed arrogant and controlling now, and that’s not the way he wanted to be anymore. The truth was, these days he couldn’t wait to be wherever Kirin was.
“You’re wrong, I don’t care.” He shrugged. “And I thought we had an agreement not to get into each other’s lives outside work anymore.”
She was quiet for a second. “You know I l
ove talking about food and clothes and what’s next on the agenda, but since you’ve helped me out so much, I want to help you too.”
She put her coffee on the nightstand and turned toward him. As she did, the sheet slipped lower and one sweet breast was exposed. That she didn’t try to cover up filled him with pride, because she was open and exposed around him and it made him want to do everything he could for her, for as long as he could.
“Feeling that your family can’t celebrate your success, that they don’t see what you do as worthy must have had a profound impact on you. But cutting all ties and not having them as part of your life must have a profound effect too.”
His hand tightened around the coffee cup. “It is what it is. I know no different.”
“I do,” she said quietly. “I know there’s a whole lot hiding inside here.” She ran two fingers across his heart, and he stiffened. “Stuff you’re too scared to let out, and I think if you did you’d be―”
He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood. “I don’t have time for this.”
“You don’t seem to have a lot of time for anything that involves you feeling too much. Or for people who challenge you.” She stayed still, her sparkling eyes trained on his face. “And because I do feel, and you’ve helped me feel and experience more than I ever thought possible, I’m going to give you a few home truths.”
Despite an overpowering urge to get out of here, away from Kirin’s accusations and confident statements, his feet were rooted to the floor.
“You’ve taught me an unbelievable amount in the last ten days, Blake, not least of all that for most of my life I’ve been presenting an outer self that had little connection to my inner one. With your help, your attention, and sometimes your patience, I’ve worked on that and you’ve helped me redefine who I really am. Not a bad feat for a little over a week.”
He shrugged lazily. “All part of the service.”
He may as well have said nothing, because she kept right on talking. “Which brings me to your inner self.”
He scoffed out a laugh, but she continued.
“I think you’ve spent so much of your life exposed, being picked over, complimented, bought, and sold, that you’ve guarded your inner self with a fierce power. And in the process of protecting yourself so much, you’ve alienated those around you. And you’ve missed out on having meaningful relationships.”
He wanted to scoff again. Wanted to flick off her psychoanalysis with a laugh and a cutting comment, but he couldn’t. The way she looked at him, with her open face and her caring smile, was enough to undo him. “Maybe I have done that to avoid any more crap from my family, but there’s no way to undo what’s been done. I still have my image business, and Bryn and my parents still hate me for it. Nothing’s going to change, and no one cares about this but you.”
She lay there, all lush and warm, but it wasn’t her body that held him frozen. It was the openness in her eyes, as if she was inviting him into her soul. And he didn’t know which way to run.
“I’m sure they don’t hate you, but why not rise above the past? Why not give Bryn a date that you’ll go home? You could leave Tuesday. Our time will be up then, and you can spend a couple days helping Bryn with your parents.”
“Maybe.” He thought ahead to Monday, the day his time with Kirin would be finished. She had the Felicity Farrell interview to do in the morning. He was certain she’d fly through. And then she’d be on her own, without the need for anymore advice.
Without the need for him.
She was blossoming into exactly what he’d wanted for her: a confident, sexy woman who had the world at her feet. “I don’t know what good it’ll do.”
“It might make you feel as though you’re putting the past behind you. What your family does with that is up to them but it’s kind of like what we’re doing with the Trent Bray thing now. The sex tape scandal’s died a quiet death because we wouldn’t stoop to his level. We’ve taken the higher ground, gotten on with things our own way. Determining our own future.”
She was saying our, but she meant they were doing everything for her future. She was now on her own. Just as they’d agreed.
“Does it feel good to be out there on your own?” he asked.
“It didn’t in the beginning. At first I wanted to make Trent pay, fight using the same old weapons, but you taught me differently, Blake. You showed me to make my own rules and I have. And it feels so good. We haven’t heard about that wretched tape because we rose above it.”
“You think my family will welcome me back with open arms?”
“Maybe not.” She lifted her brows. “I don’t always see eye-to-eye with my mom. In fact, she drives me completely crazy most of the time. But I couldn’t imagine not having her in my life, not having a link to who I was. That’s what really determines success, I think, being able to see where you’ve come from to know where you want to go. I think it’s important for everyone, but especially for you.”
Sun from the window threw light in her hair as she spoke, and the glow reflecting off her warmed him to his core. He’d do just about anything Kirin Hart told him right now, especially if it meant keeping her in his bed a little longer.
“What I need is someone like you to come along and feed me my lines,” he said, as he lay back down on his side, facing her. “And then we could go find something fun to do when I realized I’d made a terrible mistake in going back.” He found her leg beneath the sheet and began to stroke it.
“Oh, no,” she said with a teasing smile. “Other people’s families are a whole different ball game. Ask me to cook for you and I’ll have no hesitation, but other people’s families I can’t do. So will you think about it?”
“I’ll think about it.” He rolled closer and pulled her to him. “On the condition that for the next four days we do less talking and more of this.” And when he kissed her and she kissed him back, nothing else mattered.
Blake pulled his car up to the sidewalk outside his apartment just as Bryn was leaving the building with his luggage. He opened the passenger window and leaned over. “I’ll take you to the airport.”
“No need.” Bryn shoved a hand in his pocket and turned to look up the street. “I have an Uber coming.”
Blake pressed the button for the trunk, got out, and moved to the pavement. “Get in the car, Bryn. We need to talk.” Before his brother could argue, he picked up a piece of luggage and deposited it in the back of the car.
Bryn didn’t move. “I’ve been waiting to talk to you for two whole days, Blake. What makes you think I’m going to suddenly jump when you click your fingers?”
“’Cause I have all your favorite shoes, and I’ll drive off with them if you refuse.” He tried a cheeky grin.
Bryn stared him down for a moment, then picked up another bag. “You’d better get me there on time.”
“I’ve booked a flight for Tuesday,” Blake said when Bryn had cancelled the Uber and they were moving through the traffic. “I’ll fly into Salem to check out the retirement village, and then I’ll hire a car and come see Mom and Dad.”
Bryn stared out the side window. “Why the sudden change of heart? You doing an image job on yourself now?”
“No, I just realized I need to get this sorted.”
“Realized? Or did someone call you out on your level of self-absorption and selfishness? I can guess who it was.”
“Who said anything about Kirin?”
“I can’t imagine you thought of this on your own,” his brother said. “It was easy to see when I met her that you’d cast some sort of spell over her. She couldn’t stop asking questions about you. I just hope you treat her well.”
The comment stung, and Blake bit back the thought that, unlike his brother, at least he’d learned how to communicate with people. Now wasn’t the time to have that conversation. In fact, he didn’t want to make those sorts of judgments anymore.
Fixing things with his family was all down to Kirin, and that wasn’t all s
he’d done for him. She’d made him want to be a better person in relationships, to take his time and enjoy things like the amazing food she’d cooked him. She’d called him out on the way he treated people sometimes, and she was the whole reason he was reconnecting with his twin after years of animosity.
Kirin Hart made him want to be a better man, and it was tearing him apart that she’d soon be gone.
He swallowed as the impact of not having her in his life became real. She needed space to be the strong, independent woman she’d become. And that meant he needed to move on.
“My time with Kirin is up.” He gripped the steering wheel as they hit the 10 freeway to the airport. “She has her career to focus on, and I’ll be moving back to New York. We’ve achieved the goals we had for her, and she’s moving on.”
“So you’ll both be focusing on your careers and pretending that’s more important than anything else in life?”
His hands tightened on the wheel. “I think you and I are pretty even on that score,” Blake said. “Maybe we’re twins.” He tried another grin and when he looked sideways his brother’s mouth had curved a little. The tension holding his shoulders prisoner melted away.
“You’ve got a shot with someone pretty special there I’d say.” Bryn still stared out the windscreen.
“No, Kirin and I are a short-term connection.” Blake spoke to himself as much as to his brother, trying to convince both of them. “We both needed something from each other, and now that our contract is finished, we can move on. She’s older than me and being associated with a younger guy, even when it was completely innocent, killed her reputation before. She’s looking for something more than I can offer.”
“Does she know that?” Surprise laced his brother’s words.
“Of course she does, that’s why she hired me. Soon she’ll be starting a whole new life.”
Bad Reputations: A steamy, celebrity romance (The Breaking Through Series Book 1) Page 14
