5. One year later (the vida Lives)
Every morning the alarm clock plays at 7.15 o'clock precise.
To tell the truth everything today I am not you/he/she stick definite to buy a real alarm clock, something rigorous in short. I always use the jail cell, and motive is still in the possibility to insert us some musichettas nice.
Lately I have chosen" the vida Lives" of the Cold Play. I like a lot engraves him of that song and, even if you/they have revealed me that the piece contains a clear political reference, I simply find him/it coinvolgente, rich of enthusiasm and of passion.
I could get up very well at 8.00 o'clock, or also later, because the new job of on-line journalist grants me a flexibility of schedules ever tried, but hook to wake up together me to Alice and to have breakfast with her. Certain times, while Alice crosses in long and in wide all house in the frenzy of the preparations to fly in the office, returns even in the bed of it. However I don't sleep, I remain a mezz'oretta laid down to look at sight at the wood ceiling with the beams, thinking about the appointments of day.
From about one month Alice Boffi and I live together, and I are not able whether to consider him/it a point of arrival examining how to find house has been an infuriating operation: too much small, too much great, too much dear, too much damp. You/he/she has been one it draws dreadful to rouse something that answered to our needs. At the end you/he/she has convinced us a trilocale to the plain earth of a picture-relative built recently: double services, two places auto and minuscule quarter of ownership with attached barbecue. We will pay him/it in thirty years and we have had by circumstance to stipulate a loan with a cazzo of bank, but it doesn't weigh me as, it seems me to have concluded a good bargain however.
Therefore the girl and I that it laughs live together and are together; seriously I intend together, projects and things of the kind. You/he/she has not been a simple footstep, sopratutto following the story of Mark, but really after that damned evening I have started to try for Alice a stronger feeling, and perhaps also for the demand to find again in the relationships with the near people the true solidarity, I have begun to perceive the need to live with her because we could take nourishment to story.
You/he/she has been me immensely near, so near that even in the darkest point now passed in my life up to I have not felt completely only never or definitely lost.
In every case you/he/she has not not at all been easy to overcome the tragedy of Mark, and also now that is June and it is departed one year it happens me to reflect on the thing and to ask me if the possibility exists to metabolize completely as happened. To be sincere I don't believe, but I think about having found a good remuneration however, a discreet equilibrium, even if I would not know how to say as there has arrived.
Of the whole pain that I won't tell, I can remember only as all of a sudden I have begun to leave me the thing to the shoulders and I have restarted to live. It is strange to speak of it, but it is as if slowly something had infiltrated in me and has provveduto to cancel the traces, the most painful, of the absence of Mark. It is as if I had resettato the system, and even if I have striven to preserve the most beautiful memoirs I am aware that with the time some will abandon me.
Last Domenica with Alice we have made visit to Simona and the small Martina. It has a speed of maddish growth and his/her eyes I am practically the exact duplicate of those of Mark. He/she doesn't ask of his/her father yet, but Simona has explained us that for when it will reach that phase it will concern him to the lines giuda that the psychologist has proposed her to which turns for elaborating the mourning.
I hope that I/you/he/she work.
After all Simona has surprised some all, because passed a brief period of comprehensible human dismay, you/he/she has reacted with an almost disarming boldness. You/he/she is sustained in full from the family Innocentini, both to practical level and economic, but you/he/she has taken back the job however and he/she doesn't even dream him to complain about himself/herself/themselves for how much her happened. More difficulty has been the reaction of the parents of Mark, his/her father has the eyes by now out and his/her mother is algid more and more as person, but they don't miss to acquit in full to the assignment to be grandparent with total devotion and I am sure that they will find again, thanks to the love of their little niece, the necessary enthusiasm to return to live more serenely some.
Viva la vida (english version) Page 20
