Wade turned on his music, and the John Butler Trio sang through the campground. I hadn’t heard of them before working with Harper, but she called them one of her ‘old school favourites.’ She’d played their music often in the Dreamer Intuition, and I’d even found myself singing along to the tune at times. Everyone began rising from their chairs to grab something to eat and drink. Ethan ran around dancing, full of excitement.
“Are you okay?” asked Sarah, putting a hand on my knee to stop it from bouncing.
“It feels weird being around so many people.” I crossed my ankles and tucked my feet under my chair.
“If you want a break, let me know and we can go for a walk, okay?”
“Thanks. I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
“Do you want something to eat?”
“No, thank you. I’ll wait here while you grab something.”
You’d think after being deprived of delicious food for so long I’d be eager to get my hands on any form of it I could find. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was used to having so little to eat or my body’s reaction to losing Cameron, but I hadn’t been hungry since the day we left the MMC. Sarah and Rose kept telling me I was fading away, and I was thankful no one had a mirror to show me the state I was in.
A few hours later, I still hadn’t moved from my seat. Sarah had brought me three beers since the celebrations started, and hadn’t left my side for longer than necessary, as she’d promised. But I saw the way Byron kept looking her way, begging her to join him for a dance or a walk. And I saw the way she looked at me out of the corner of her eyes as though telling him, ‘I can’t, Amelia needs me.’
“Go,” I said as I swigged the last mouthful of my beer.
“What?” she asked.
“Go and be with Byron. His puppy dog eyes are making me feel sick.”
“You feel sick because you’re drinking and haven’t eaten a thing,” she argued.
“Sarah, go and have fun, you deserve it.”
“You’re changing the subject.”
“Sarah…”
“But I promised I would stay with you. Maybe he can come over here with us?”
“And be bored out of his mind like you are. You wouldn’t do that to him.”
“I’m not bored, I’m sitting with my best friend as I promised.”
“And now I’m revoking your promise. Please go and have fun. At least one of us should.”
After one last ‘are you sure?’ look she stood and gave me a kiss on the forehead. “I’ll grab you another drink, and a plate of food before I disappear.”
She took my empty bottle and soon returned with a full one and a plate with some salad and steak on it. “Make sure you eat something, and come grab me if you need me.”
“Of course I will.” I stared down at the plate of food. My stomach churned.
“Promise me,” she insisted.
“I promise.”
“Good, and thank you.” One last kiss on the forehead and she was at Byron’s side in a heartbeat.
He looked at me and mouthed his own ‘thank you’ before wrapping his arms around her waist. The way they looked into each other’s eyes gave me a slight smile.
“Hey.” Harper arrived beside me.
“Hey,” I replied, looking towards Joe, who had Laina’s thin frame perched on his lap. She giggled at something he whispered in her ear. It reminded me of the time I’d grown jealous and yelled at him because he’d done the same to Rose.
“How’re you doing?” asked Harper.
“Fine.” I took a mouthful of salad and managed to chew and swallow it down.
“Amelia, please talk to me.”
I took a long swig from my new beer and turned to look her in the eye. The kindness behind them seemed clouded, and I no longer felt the happy energy radiating from her. The betrayal and hurt building up inside me consumed my feelings towards her.
“I’m eating,” I replied before shovelling another fork full of salad in my mouth.
“Amelia, I miss you.”
I swallowed the un-chewed salad still sitting in my mouth with an audible gulp. “Miss me? You miss me?” I raised my voice.
Kaelee and Janine turned their heads to look in our direction.
“Yes, I do. We haven’t talked since you got here.”
“Well, maybe it’s because you’ve been spending so much time with Kaelee and haven’t had time to spend with me.”
“Please don’t be like that. I know you’re angry at Kaelee, but you have to remember-“
“Remember? You know what I remember? I remember being attacked in your house and running for my life, only to be captured and knocked out. I remember waking up in a concrete cell with the one person in the world I never wanted to see again. I remember my brain being cooked from the inside out, being electrocuted, and drowned. I remember giving her another chance when I knew I couldn’t trust her, then she cried in a corner while I begged her to help me save Cameron.” My muscles tensed so tight they hurt.
“Amelia, I…” she muttered.
“Do you know how many times she begged us to let her go back to them, give her the chance to give us away? We had to force her to stay with us. She’s a coward, a liar, and you chose her over me.”
I stood from my chair, my plate falling from my lap to the ground. Taking one last swig of my beer, I tossed the bottle into the flames reaching out of the drum. The sight of them sent fear coursing through my veins. Who would put a fire out here after what’d happened to Dawn? How could Joe sit so comfortably around it with Laina perched on his lap?
I held my arms out to everyone as they stared at me lost for words. “Did any of you care where I was? Were you even looking for me? I was in a hellhole with my worst enemy, and you were having a freakin’ party in the rainforest. Falling in love, making a new life for yourselves without me. All the while, I was holding the man I loved while he bled out and died in my arms.”
I was exhausted and furious, and my body ached from the exertion. Sarah stepped towards me, tears in her eyes. I held my hand up to stop her before I turned and stormed down the path towards the stream.
I sat myself on a large smooth rock and rested my feet in the cool water.
Taking a deep breath I yelled until my lungs were completely empty and I was bent over my knees, my face hot. Releasing the built up energy I’d been carrying around in my chest. Exhausted, I rested my head in my hands. Why was this happening to me? What was I supposed to do that I wasn’t doing?
“Amelia?” Joe’s voice came from behind me.
I knew someone would come looking for me, but I’d expected it to be Sarah.
Joe sat beside me and placed his arm around my shoulders. I lay my head on his arm and stared out at the water, the reflections of the trees silhouetted by the moon’s light rippling over it.
“Well, I’m glad there’s other people who can make you mad enough to yell,” he said.
I smiled a little, remembering the time I’d yelled at him on Dawn’s farm because I was jealous of his closeness with Rose.
“None of us forgot you, you know. We missed you every day you were gone. We wanted to find you, but we had no way of knowing where to start looking. Every night I’d go to sleep hoping you’d turn up in my dream. Sometimes my dreams would even put you there, and I’d wake up trying to figure out if it was you or my imagination. I know it looks like we moved on. You’ve come back to a life completely different from what you left behind. But when this is over, we’ll go back to our lives, back to Sandhaven.” He brushed a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
“I don’t think I can go back. Nothing’s the same anymore. You have Laina, Sarah has Byron…”
“You still have us too. You’re probably right. Nothing will be the same. But look at the life we made for ourselves in Sandhaven after everything that happened last year. I know we can do it again. It’s hard to lose someone you love, and it feels like it won’t ever get better. The hurt will always be there, but it will less
en. You’ll never forget him, but at some stage you’ll have to move on. Cameron would want you to be happy.” He held my shoulders and turned me to look into his dark brown eyes. They glistened in the twilight and I felt my shoulders relax.
He was right. All Cameron had wanted was to keep me safe and happy. He’d given his life to do it, and I was repaying him by yelling at my friends and not looking after myself. Cameron was always able to recognize something in me I didn’t perceive myself; courage and beauty. He would hate seeing me like that. It was time I stopped being so angry at everyone whether they deserved it or not and did something to prove I’d been worth saving.
“I’m going to do it,” I said.
“Do what?” Creases formed in the corners of his eyes.
“I’m going to be the one to blow up the MMC facility.”
Chapter Eight
“You’re what? No way.” Joe shook his head.
“Yes way. This is what I’m supposed to do.”
“Says who? I meant you had to start moving on from Cameron’s death. I didn’t mean go chasing death yourself.”
“That isn’t what I’m doing.”
“No? Then what are you doing? You aren’t one to play the hero.”
I wasn’t sure if I should take offence to his words. “Maybe it’s time I started. This entire time I’ve been saying we need to take down the MMC, and all I’ve done is get myself into trouble. Now I’ve got a chance to actually practice what I preach.”
“But this is ridiculous. You could die. Never come back to your friends, for real this time. What about Sarah? Rose? Your mum and dad. What about me?”
“If you all love me and support me like you say you do, you’ll understand.”
“If we love you, we’ll want you to stop being so stupid,” he huffed, crossing his arms across his chest.
“I want to do this.” I reached out and touched his arm. “You, of all people, should understand. We have a chance to stop them. They’ve turned our lives upside down more than once, made us fugitives, hurt our family and friends. If our family and friends are ever going to be safe, and live a normal life again, I have to do this.”
“But, why you?”
“Why anyone? Why should someone else’s life be less important than mine? I think blowing up their facility is what I’m supposed to do. Then everything that’s happened would be like it was building towards something, like we went through it for a reason.”
Joe placed his head in his hands for a moment then looked back up towards me. “I’m not going to pretend I’m happy you want to do this. It’s stupid and dangerous.”
“But you’re going to stop fighting me?” I asked.
“Dawn always told me to let you make your own decisions, no matter how stupid I thought they were. So I guess I’ll just cross my fingers and hope Sarah and Rose can change your mind.”
Dawn was still looking out for me, despite not being with us anymore. I just hoped Sarah and Rose would be as understanding.
After a restless night of sleep, I awoke to the sound of Sarah’s loud breathing next to my ear. She’d always snored after a few drinks and had managed to roll over with her face up next to mine. I wondered what time she’d crawled into bed next to me. To be honest, I was surprised to find her there at all. I’d assumed she’d spend the night with Byron. Maybe she’d come to check on me, and had been unable to resist the allure of her pillow.
Making as little noise as possible, I climbed through the tent door. Sarah stirred for a moment to the noise of the zipper, rolling over before settling again with a loud snort. The camp was dead quiet when I crawled out. I guessed everyone was sleeping off the alcohol they’d consumed and the late night. I’d been so exhausted when I’d snuck back and slipped into bed that it hadn’t taken me long to fall asleep.
Creeping through the camp, I made my way down to the stream. I was eager to have a morning dip to wake me up without anyone to interrupt me. I’d made an important decision the night before, one which would take everyone by surprise. I wasn’t sure how they were going to react, but for the first time since leaving the MMC facility and losing Cameron, I felt like I had a purpose. Maybe it was the reason I’d lived and Cameron hadn’t. To destroy the MMC once and for all.
Joe hadn’t been impressed with my decision, and although he’d realised I wasn’t going to back down, I knew he wasn’t finished trying to persuade me to change my mind. I assumed he’d told Laina already. Sarah and Rose were going to be the hardest to convince.
Leaving my underwear on, I waded into the stream until the cool chill covered me up to my belly button. I pushed off the side of the stone drop-off and out into the deeper section where I turned to float on my back. The trees towered over me on each side of the stream, their leaves leaning out towards each other as though reaching for the trees on the other side. The sky above was overcast. For the first time since leaving the MMC, I felt completely relaxed. Who would’ve thought making a decision, which would put my life at risk, could bring such serenity? But if I could do this, if I could destroy the MMC, it might make the pain, loss, and suffering worth it.
Swimming towards the bank, I climbed out and wrapped a towel around me before wringing out my hair.
“Are you still going to do it?” Joe sat on a boulder near the entrance of the path back to camp.
The sight of him startled me, and I took a step away, nearly falling back into the water. “You scared the crap out of me. How long have you been watching me?”
“I only got here when you were getting out. What do you think I am, some kind of creep?”
I raised my eyebrows at him.
“Whatever. So are you still putting your hand up?”
“Yes, I am.” I scooped my clothes from the rock they lay on and began pulling them on.
“I wish I could say something to change your mind, but if this is something you have to do, even if it’s crazy and dangerous, I’m behind you the whole way. But don’t think I’m not coming with you to make sure you get out.”
I was relieved he wasn’t going to push it any further.
“Can I ask why you want to do this?”
“To make it feel like it was for a reason. Everything we’ve been through, the people we’ve lost... I want the MMC gone, and if it means I could be gone too, then so be it.” My conviction surprised even me.
He nodded and gave me a crooked smile. “There’s the courageous Amelia I’ve missed. I knew she was still in there somewhere. I wish this wasn’t the time she decided to resurface though. Come on, let’s go talk to Harper and organise a meeting. Sarah and Rose are going to love hearing this.”
“You what?” asked Harper, pacing back and forth across the room.
We were inside the cramped dining room of the cabin she shared with Wade and Kaelee. Kaelee had disappeared since I’d arrived, and I was grateful for it. I’d sat myself up on the creamy laminate kitchen bench next to Joe, and Wade sat at a wooden table with four wooden chairs sitting neatly around it.
“She wants to be the one to plant the bomb. We’ve known this was the plan for the past month,” reasoned Wade.
I liked the guy, even if he was eager to send me into the face of danger, and possibly to my death.
“You’re right, I did know. But why?” Harper stopped pacing and stared at me with pleading eyes.
I wasn’t angry with her like I’d been the night before. Letting them know how I felt seemed to dissolve the anger I’d been holding inside. As had remembering what Cameron had sacrificed so I could still be here.
“To make it worth it. To know everything we’ve been through was for a reason,” I replied.
“Are you sure? You know how dangerous this is, right? The bomb that’s being built could go off any time after you arm it. You could be standing right next to it,” she said, trying to scare me out of my decision.
“Not quite,” interrupted Wade, taking back control of the situation. “You’ll get some time to get out. We just aren’t sure how lo
ng it’ll be.”
Harper shot him a ‘Will you shut up?’ glance. “And you’re okay with this, Joe? I thought you of all people would be against her going.” Harper crossed her arms and stared at him.
“No, I’m not okay with it at all. But I promised myself and Dawn I wouldn’t stand in the way of Amelia making her own decisions. I can’t help but understand why she’s doing this. And if she insists on going I don’t want her to be alone, so we should support her.”
Harper paused for a moment her eyes looking between myself and Joe. “I guess if I can’t change your mind. Maybe Sarah or Rose can…”
“They won’t,” I said. “This is what I want to do.”
“Amelia, I…” Harper took a step towards me, searching for the right words.
I looked back at her moistened eyes, unsure what to say.
“There’s so much I want to say. I’m so sorry…” she trailed off.
“I know. I’m sorry too,” I said.
“You don’t understand. I never chose Kaelee over you. I’ve always prided myself on my judgement of people, and finding out I hadn’t even suspected Kaelee of lying really threw me. I’m not a hateful person, and I have to believe the friendship I’d built with Kaelee was real, even if it wasn’t the whole truth. But in trying to make myself feel better about my bad judgement, I made you feel worse. You were already dealing with so much, and I thought you were happy with the support you were getting from your friends. I guess I forgot I’m your friend too. I still care about you. I always will.” Her eyes showed how much she cared for me. She grabbed a hold of me and squeezed me tight. “You know, Sarah and Rose are going to fight you on this.”
“I know,” I said.
“I can’t say I like the idea, but I’ll call a meeting. We’ll let everyone know Amelia has put up her hand to detonate the bomb.”
“So I know you don’t have a clue as to why we’ve called this impromptu meeting,” began Harper, addressing the group that’d congregated under the covered area. “Each of you know of the plan to blow up the MMC. Earlier this morning, one of us found the courage to volunteer.”
Rise of the Dreamer Page 6
