"I've never been attracted to anyone, Samuel." She sighed and walked to the chair that she hadn't broken, still placed next to his small table. "Have you? Have you ever wanted someone other than me?"
Finally, when the passage of time had pressed out before them like a chasm she wondered if she'd be able to travel over, he answered, "No."
She wished she could sleep for a year. "We were born for each other. That's the way it's been explained to me. Neither of us is going to be truly turned on by anyone else."
"Shit." He sat down on the floor. Right where he had stood, he folded his legs and dropped to the floor. "This fucking sucks."
She laughed at his remark. "When I hear your voice, it sends tingles all over me. It's like hearing what is mine but then seeing you feels wrong, somehow. It feels false."
"I can't do it, gorgeous. I can't let you see me. I couldn't take it. The pity, the glances away. Gods forbid, you were repulsed." He stared at her, the light in the room rapidly decreasing as the sun set outside. The snow on the ground would keep it light out well after the time the sun had gone to bed for the night.
Eden stood up and crossed to him. "We could try doing it with my eyes closed."
"You'd need something to picture. My voice alone probably wouldn't be enough."
The fact that they discussed this like it was even possible seemed utterly ridiculous. "Do you have any pictures of yourself, of what you really look like?"
"Not since I was twelve, no."
That made sense and would obviously not be an option. "Then I guess we're not going to have an intimate relationship. Not like that anyway."
She could hear how dejected she sounded. Samuel pulled her into his embrace, laying her head against his shoulder. She closed her eyes. He smelled right. The scent of ivory soap, laundry detergent, and toothpaste wafted to her nose. Beneath them all was a scent that seemed pure Samuel. Being this close to him made her feel like she could finally take a deep breath after a lifetime of not being able to.
"Now that I've got you, I can't let you go. Even if I have to change my face every day. I need you."
Eden could feel how that confession tore out of him and she wondered if she was starting to be able to visit his mind too. That would be fair. If he could do it, she should be able to.
"I could pretend." She knew she could too. For the feel and love of the guy sitting next to her on the floor, she would manage anything. "And I'm sure it would be great."
"Don't be ridiculous. I'd be in your head, knowing you weren't really feeling what I wanted you to feel. That would be worse."
She squeezed his hand in hers. "Even if we're never… together like that, we can be best friends, can't we? We can be together, always."
He kissed her cheek. "Forever, if you want."
Chapter Eight
To Samuel, Eden smelled like heaven. His cock jumped to attention even as he knew she didn't feel the same way. He should have known that she would have needed his physical appearance for that. For most people, this soul mate thing would be some kind of gift. In their case it turned out to be more of a curse.
Eden would never want him the way he craved her. Something would always be missing and she could never find relief from anyone else because she'd been programmed to desire him—an appearance she could never witness since he'd been destroyed. As for him, he'd always want her and always know she didn't feel the same toward him.
"What was I doing when you were going to approach me?"
He twirled a piece of her strawberry-blonde hair in his hand. This would be so normal, so peaceful if he wasn't going to die from the pain of his erection pushed up against his pants. "You were giving out pamphlets with your family in Boise."
She shut her eyes like they hurt. "Oh god, the braids. You saw the braids."
Yes, he had. Two long braids that fell down her sides past her rear end. She'd looked adorable and twelve-years old even though she'd been twenty at the time. Her dress had done nothing to show her figure. It had been brown, squared off at the shoulders, buttoned all the way from the floor to the top of her neck, and probably three sizes too big on her. The same look her mother, sisters, and the entire crowd had sported that day.
He'd thought she was the most breathtaking sight he'd ever seen.
"Did you hate it?" Samuel asked.
"The preaching or the outfit?"
He kissed the top of her head. "Both."
"I hated the outfit. I didn't much care for the preaching either. I've always had this feeling that religion should be a personal thing. But I liked meeting people, seeing how others lived."
That sounded like Eden. She didn't like the process but found joy in the task.
"I wasn't sure what I was going to say to you. Oh, by the way, you're really not human, come with me."
Eden's laugh acted like a fire to his blood. He hadn't thought it possible but he got even hotter.
"I would have been so grateful to get away that I'd have jumped at the chance. Oh, I'm not really human? Sure I'll come with you right now as long as you never make me wear these clothes ever again."
He rubbed her leg. This would—somehow—have to be enough. Tonight, he got to touch her. The girl who he could never have sat pressed up against him. He needed to be grateful for that moment instead of the burning sense of irrational irritation that he'd never have more.
"How did you get away?"
"Well," she blinked rapidly, her long eyelashes fluttering. Samuel couldn't help but notice the dark smudges under them, telling him that she hadn't slept enough lately. "I don't really know. I went to bed one night and I awoke the next morning in a mental institution in New Jersey. Or maybe it wasn't the next morning. I have no idea how the passage of time worked once I got there."
"You have no idea what happened to get you there?"
It just didn't make sense to him. That place had been a major operation. She didn't simply land there by accident. And if the demon had caught her while she'd been so helpless, well, he couldn't let his mind go in that direction. It made him want to hurl something across the room.
"None. And from what Jason has told me, the place is not cheap. I can't figure out who paid for it. My parents don't have that kind of money. Sometimes we went hungry."
"Oh, I suspect your family had some money." They'd run a hell of an operation. Big vans, lots of people. Sometimes light shows. The brief time he'd observed them had made it clear to him that Eden's family made quite a living at their religion. That his version didn't match with Eden's version of her childhood didn't surprise him. She probably thought they were poor.
"In any case, that's what happened to me."
"I couldn't find you. They kept you so drugged, I couldn't get into your mind." Those had been the worst months. Thinking she was dead or, at least, gone from him. Even if he could never be with her, knowing she lived in the world was enough to sustain him. When he'd thought her gone…
She touched the side of his face. "Where did your thoughts go?"
"Nowhere good." He pressed his mouth to hers before he could think better of it. Her lips were soft, like rose petals against his own. And she tasted, no surprise, like strawberries. He forced himself to pull back, keeping it to only a small moment. No good could come out of knowing what he couldn't have.
She gasped and pulled back, her hands going to her lips. He didn't see desire in her blue-green eyes and it made him go cold inside. Stupidly, he'd still held out hope. Now it was obvious, Eden didn't want him. She really never would.
He opened his mouth, knowing he had to say something but having zero idea of what that should be. Just then Eden's phone rang. Saved by the ring, he sat back letting his head bang against the wall.
"Hello?" Eden spoke into the phone and he watched transfixed by the way her red lips moved next to the small speaker.
Whoever she talked to answered and he shifted his position, trying to focus on what she said instead of his giant need to make love to the woman who would never want
him.
"How are they?" She looked up at him, worry evident in the way she chewed on her lower lip. He reached out and stroked her mouth, forcing her to stop biting her rose-petal entrance. She pushed his fingers away.
"Are they going to be okay?"
None of this sounded like good news. If it was Outsider business, then it affected him in as much as it might make it harder for him to keep the demon away from Eden. "What's wrong?"
She covered the mouthpiece with her hand. "Leonardo and Marina are very hurt."
"How?"
Eden groaned, dropping the phone. He reached forward just as her head sagged, her neck not holding it up anymore. She'd fallen into another premonition. Damn it.
As he pulled her into his arms to support her, he grabbed the phone. "This is Samuel. I'm… with Eden." He didn't know who he spoke to, but it was so rare that he let anyone into his world, even over the phone, it made him uncomfortable.
"You're with Eden? What does that mean? Who are you?"
Samuel hung up the phone. Eden's soul called to his, pulling at his power to join with hers. He wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to do. His abilities had never behaved this way before.
He closed his eyes and sent his consciousness seeking hers. Usually, it was an easy slip into her mind. Samuel could see what she saw and battle the demon if he encroached on her experience. This time, however, it felt more like her powers blocked him, pushed up against his own.
He tried to thrust forward into her mind but it didn't get him anywhere. Taking a deep breath, he attempted it again. This time, however, her power slammed into his own and, even though he had no conscious control, it felt like, without his consent, he reached out with psychic claws and tugged hard at her.
Samuel gasped. To say that it hurt like hell was an understatement. Tears escaped his eyes as he tried not to scream. Eden's lids lifted as his mind returned to his own body. She stared at him, her eyes blank.
His power still held hers and although he couldn't break through to her mind, he knew something was going on. Something new. Even as it hurt like hell, making his head scream from the migraine forming between his eyes, it felt… right.
"Eden." He could barely form words. His skin ached. It might flay from his face at any moment and he didn't give a shit.
"A club. Red walls upstairs, peeling gray wallpaper downstairs."
He grabbed her face in his hands, squeezing her cheeks. "What?"
"That's where they meet. They have more of the devices; it's magic, dark magic. It's where he gets what he needs. Where he finds the people who make things happen for him."
Her vision. She was telling him her premonition. Samuel laid her gently on the floor before jumping to his feet. He rushed to his computer. He'd type it up. Whatever she said, he would make sure it was recorded.
Grabbing his head as it pounded harder, he realized his body disliked the space between them. He was supposed to be touching her, holding her through this. Damn. But he had to get this correct.
He rushed back, scooping her up in his arms. After today, he'd order a voice recorder but for now he was going to have to deal with this as best he could. With Eden secured in his embrace, he sat down on the chair next to his desk. One handed, he started to type.
Red Walls. Gray Wallpaper. Bad People. Group. Yes, he thought he got all of it.
"We need to go there. As a group we can retrieve the necessary spell to reverse the damage. But we have to go fast. HURRY."
Eden's body seized in his arms and he gripped her tighter. His energy grabbed hers, forcing it forward. She jerked one more time while her eyelids blinked rapidly.
Finally, he saw consciousness return to her pupils. She rubbed at her face like she wanted to make sure it was still attached to her body.
"You're okay." He said it more to assure himself than to tell her. She would know if she was fine or not. But he needed to say it like he could make it true.
"I'm okay." She sat up, throwing her arms around him. "I could feel you. It was like you kept me here, like you were an anchor not letting me move too far, not letting me fall away from myself." He felt wetness on his neck and he realized she must be crying. Not sure what to do with tears, particularly Eden's, he held her more tightly. "This was the first time ever I knew I would come back. I wasn't afraid I'd disappear in it forever. And it was clearer. I'm sure it was a real one."
"I'm so glad I could help you." His voice sounded scratchy to his own ears. He might start tearing up if he didn't get control of himself.
"Isabelle." She jerked back to look him in the eyes.
He shook his head. "What?"
"She was on the phone with me when the vision hit. What happened to her?"
It had just happened but Samuel had pushed that totally out of his mind already. "I hung up on her."
"You did? Why? Didn't you explain?" She shuffled off his lap, grazing past his cock and causing it to jerk in response. If his penis could talk, it would express its love of her movements poetically. All Samuel could do was manage not to groan aloud. He did enough of that internally.
"I didn't know her and I'm not used to explaining myself."
She grabbed his shirt. "It doesn't matter. Thank you for what you did. We have to get to New Orleans and I need to speak to Isabelle. Now. Where is my phone?"
He stood up and crossed to the phone, picking it off the floor. Eden couldn't leave his apartment. He'd just gotten her there. His face seemed to be adjusting, slightly, and he didn't want to lose her yet. Well, he'd never want to lose her, but it was inevitable.
"I can't go to New Orleans and I've got news for you, neither can you, it's snowing buckets outside."
"Oh that." She looked up through the window at the snow. "You're right. Guess there aren't flights taking off right now."
"Correct." He handed her the phone. "So whatever it is will have to wait until the weather gets better. And even then I can't get on a plane. I don't have any identification to speak of." He pointed at his face, hoping he could make it amusing. Humor wasn't his strongest suit but the situation seemed to call for it. "The whole changing appearance problem makes it impossible for me to get a driver's license."
She scratched her head. "How did we get here then?"
"I drove."
"Well, obviously." She shook her head. "With what car?"
"One I stole."
Okay, Samuel liked this conversation less and less. He'd hoped to wait to tell her about his illegal activities until they'd known each other face-to-face for at least a week.
"You stole a car?"
She looked so adorable staring at him with moral indignation written all over her lovely face.
"Going to tell me I'm going to hell?"
Eden narrowed her eyes. "I'm going to make you think twice before you do bad things. Shall I make a list of what you've done today? You must have broken into my hotel room, kidnapped me, and stolen someone's car."
"All in the pursuit of your safety, gorgeous."
She rolled her eyes and dialed a number into the phone. "I won't be responsible for the breaking down of your soul, Samuel."
"Still think I have one?" He wasn't so sure.
"I'm not answering that. Hello, Isabelle?"
And just like that he'd lost her attention. Like the sullen child he'd never been, he felt immensely jealous that all of Eden's attention wasn't on him.
He wasn't sure he could really do this Outsider thing. Not if he was going to have to constantly share Eden. Gods, what was wrong with him? He didn't behave this way. His face started to itch and he sat down in his chair. Eden spoke on the phone in the background but he didn't listen to what she said. Instead, he spun around in his desk chair, letting it turn round and round until he felt dizzy from it.
"Okay, we'll come."
He caught the last thing she said before she hung up the phone. Looking up, he wondered how she intended to get them anywhere given their current situation. He was out of ideas. Or maybe he just didn
't care to come up with any. Perhaps he seriously needed a nap. With Eden in his arms. Naked. He closed his eyes to try to push away the unwanted images.
No use obsessing over what I can't have.
"You okay?"
He opened his eyes to regard her. She stood, one eyebrow slanted downward with the opposite hand on her hip.
"Sure." He tried to smile and must have looked deranged because she didn't stop her intent stare. "I'm not sure why you told them we'd come somewhere when we clearly can't."
Eden grinned and it lighted up the room more than any light bulb ever could. "We don't need human means of transportation. We have Gabriel."
"Gabriel?" He stood up. "What is he going to do?"
"Transport us using his powers." Eden shoved her phone in her pocket. "Anything you want to bring with you, get it on your person now because any moment we'll going to move across the country. The whole trip should only take a matter of minutes."
Samuel didn't like the sound of that. "Eden, I'm not sure I want to do that. It sounds… weird."
"It is. I've only done it once and over a short distance. One end of the house to the other when he practiced. But, it'll get the job done."
"What if he, I don't know, scrambles us up?" Samuel didn't know Gabriel. He didn't trust him and he wasn't going to risk Eden on an untried entity.
"Are you nervous?" She grinned, walking toward him.
"No, it's not that…"
She laughed. "Liar."
Eden placed her arms around him, hugging him tight against his body. Her scent filled his senses and he relaxed. "I don't want anything happening to you."
"All will be well. I've had the premonition. I saw us in New Orleans. We end up there."
"Eden." He kissed her forehead. "You've been wrong before."
"But this time it was different."
Samuel felt his skin start to itch and not just on his face. His arms, his legs, his torso—they all started up at the same time.
"What the…"
Eden interrupted him. "It's Gabriel. He's moving us." She winked. "See you down South."
"No, wait…"
The world spun around him and he heard himself scream. Never again. He wouldn't ever do this again. Never. Ever.
Love Beyond Sight Page 8
