by Melody Rose
“Well, making things clearly isn’t helping right now,” Ansel argued with a pointed look. He squeezed my hands once. “Give yourself a break, Shy. You deserve that much.”
I lowered my chin to my chest and hiccuped in an effort not to cry. I knew he had a point. This wasn’t helping. Being here, in the space that Ruby and I shared seemed to only make it worse. It didn’t help that anything I tried to forge was complete and utter crap.
“It doesn’t feel the same,” I lamented to the floor, though I knew Ansel could still hear me. “Being here without her. I’ve often come here on my own, but something about this time… it’s just different. I don’t know if I’m ever going to get used to it.”
“You will,” Ansel encouraged. He pulled me into him, a real hug from a real human. I didn’t hug him back right away. Instead, I let my boyfriend wrap his arms around me and leaned into his chest.
“Time heals everything,” Ansel whispered in my ear, continuing with his positive words. But I didn’t quite hear this particular affirmation because my eyes caught something unusual.
When Ansel pulled me to him, he forced my head to turn so I could lean my ear on his chest, which directed my gaze at the workbench. As my eyes lazily looked about, searching for a place to land, I noticed something out of place. I hadn’t seen it before when I first came in because I was too focused on finding my tools and getting started. But there it was. Plain as day.
“Holy shit,” I muttered.
“What? What is it?” Ansel said as he pulled me away from him so he could look into my eyes. But I didn’t give him the chance to meet my gaze.
Instead, I moved out of his grip and ventured to the workbench, my eyes never leaving the anomaly on the table.
Ruby’s hammer sat lopsided on the workbench, out in the open for everyone to see. Amazed, I approached it and pointed as my mouth opened and closed wordlessly.
“Cheyenne,” Ansel said, this time his voice no longer soft, but full of worry. “What is going on?”
“I knew it,” I whispered to myself. “I knew it.”
“What did you know?” Ansel asked over my shoulder.
“There’s no way Ruby committed suicide,” I said with confidence as I stared at the first piece of true evidence I had to support my theory.
5
“Okay, wait, explain it to me again,” Benji said as he held his hand to his forehead like an exhausted movie starlet.
I exhaled deeply and rolled my eyes at my friend’s dramatics. I knew he heard me the first time, so I wasn’t sure why I had to go over all of it again.
We were in Ansel’s apartment, which was one of the most private places on campus for us to meet, considering the rest of us had roommates we had to share our dorms with. Ever since Violet, Darren, Benji, and I had been drafted into the four different branches, Nero, Aeras, Gi, and Fotia, we had to live with other students in our branch, and not each other like we had during the first year. While all of us got along with our roommates rather well, I didn’t trust anyone else but these three and Ansel with this level of information.
Everywhere else on campus was open to the rest of the students and to the teachers. Since Ansel was the soldier representative for the Fotia Branch at the Academy, he was privileged with his own room. And since he was my boyfriend, my friends and I could use it when we needed to talk about potential conspiracies. Like how my mentor didn’t, in fact, commit suicide.
“After the funeral, instead of going to the makaria meal, I went to the forge,” I began again, setting up the scene for my discovery.
“Which I’m still rather pissed at you about,” Violet said from her perch at the small two-person table near the kitchen. She crossed her arms and looked at me pointedly.
“I already said I was sorry,” I said exasperatedly.
“I worked really hard on that meal for you,” Violet argued. “And in Ruby’s memory.”
“And I’m sure considering the wonderfully talented chef you are, it was absolutely delicious, and I’m an ass for not coming, okay?” I said in a rapid rush so we could move on. “We good?”
Violet pursed her lips and shifted a bit in her chair. But then she released her crossed arms and said, “We’re good. For now.”
“I’ll take it,” I said, continuing on. “I went to the forge because, you know, it’s my happy place. I decided to take the Eternal Flame with me--”
“You said before that it wanted to come with you,” Benji jumped in, pointing his finger in the air like he was popping a bubble in my story.
“Either way, the Eternal Flame, Khryseos, and Argyreos were with me, okay? You with me so far?” I said with a pointed glance at Benji since he had asked for this story again.
My friend nodded his confirmation as he stroked Khryseos’s head, who sat next to him on the floor while Argyreos sat loyally at my feet. The Eternal Flame had refused to go back into its lantern when Ansel and I raced back to the quad to gather up my friends. So, as a compromise, I scooped it up into a jar without a lid so the Flame could dance about when it wanted, but it had to stay inside when we transported it and when we were inside.
I had no idea how it understood these stipulations, but the little flame, which had returned to the happy blue color, seemed to comply. At least for the time being. I still wasn’t completely comfortable carrying around a live piece of the Eternal Flame, but I had other things to worry about at that moment.
“It’s kind of cute,” Violet said as she cocked her head and gazed at the Flame.
As though it heard the compliment, the Flame buzzed about in the jar gleefully. Violet giggled, and I rolled my eyes so hard I thought they were going to come out of their sockets.
“Yes, it’s adorable,” I relented with a sigh. “Violet, focus. Please.”
Violet straightened her spine and stayed silent, permitting me to continue.
“I started trying to make things, but they were all breaking, and the whole process wasn’t going well,” I continued, trying to glaze over the uninteresting parts. “Khryseos and Argyreos, then, went to get Ansel when I wasn’t paying attention.”
“Thank goodness they did too,” Ansel stepped in this time. He leaned against the doorframe that led to his bedroom, blocking it off from the rest of the group.
I stood in the center of the living room, unable to sit down. Violet tucked one leg up on the chair and hugged it to her chest, while Benji sat on the floor and leaned against the couch for support. Khryseos draped himself across Benji’s outstretched legs. Darren sat on the opposite end of the couch, one arm on the armrest, holding his head up in his hand. He looked like he was at a business meeting, with an uncomfortable stiffness in his muscles.
“Yes, they ended up doing the right thing,” I conceded as I reached out and patted the top of Argyreos’s head. He smiled cheekily in response. I continued on with my relay of the story and my theory. “Then, when Ansel was there, I noticed something I hadn’t noticed before. Ruby’s hammer was still left out on the workbench.”
The silence stretched into a level of awkwardness uncommon for the five of us. I looked around at them and realized that no one remembered what this essential piece of information meant.
“Ruby was meticulous when it came to her workspace,” I reiterated. I leaned forward a little to emphasize my point and took a moment to look at each of my friends in the eye. “It was something she was really picky about. She said we had to respect the space of the forge for the other blacksmiths who used it. There is no way she would just leave her hammer lying around.”
“So what are you saying exactly?” Violet prompted, wanting me to voice my theory aloud again.
“That there’s no way Ruby committed suicide,” I said with hesitation. “Between that and her desire to be with Alexandria in the afterlife, it’s just not possible.”
Benji sucked his teeth. “I hear you, Cheyenne, I really do, but isn’t there a chance that Ruby was too distracted to put her stuff away? I mean, she was clearly focused on
other things.”
“Even if Ruby did… do what everyone says she did,” I theorized, “she would have taken the time to put her affairs in order, including her hammer. She would have written a note. She wouldn’t have just… done it like this.”
“We know you knew Ruby better than anyone,” Ansel said gently, “but even if you’re right, I don’t think these things are going to hold up.”
“Why not?” I persisted, confident in my own argument and my beliefs.
“Because the General found her,” Ansel continued, trying to refute my logic. “And Darren even helped with the autopsy. They ruled it a suicide, Shy. Are you going to doubt your friend’s judgment?”
I looked over at Darren, but he didn’t meet my eye. He proceeded to hold his chin in his hand and stare at the carpet as though it were the most fascinating thing on the planet right then.
It was true, Darren and I hadn’t talked in depth about Ruby’s body. That was mainly my fault as I wasn’t in the right headspace since coming to campus to listen to him.
“I do trust Darren,” I said, hoping that he heard my words and knew that I meant them. “But I don’t trust the General. And I know that our judgments have been clouded before. Just looked at what happened with Love Struck.” I gestured with a stiff arm out the window as though the sexually charged epidemic was going on right outside the window.
“But that was the gods in play,” Violet argued, her voice tense. It was an old wound for her, the ordeal with Love Struck. Because even though Violet hadn’t known her apple seeds were toxic, she still brought them to campus and planted them. No matter how much research we did, we still didn’t know how the apple seed got infected.
“We don’t know that,” I argued back. “The most we know is that Esme stole Eros’s bow and arrow. And we’ve been tricked by her before.”
My eyes inadvertently shifted to Ansel, who had been friends with the daughter of Prometheus before she turned on the Academy in an effort to make the Ultimate Weapon herself. She felt discriminated against by the Academy who blatantly favored the sons and daughters of the Olympic gods, giving them preferential treatment. Even the five of us in this room felt the injustice of the Academy, considering only three of us were children of Olympic gods.
“My point is our judgment can be skewed,” I continued with even more persistence than before. “We can be manipulated.”
“We know that, Shy. We’ve all experienced it,” Benji said firmly. “None more than me, but what if that’s just it? What if Ruby was manipulated into committing suicide?”
I physically stepped back at hearing his words. I had been so focused on the idea that she had been murdered that I hadn’t thought about the fact that both Darren’s autopsy and my knowledge of Ruby’s wishes could be right. If Benji’s theory was correct, then that changed everything.
“That does seem to make sense,” Violet offered with a wince. I could tell she was hesitant to agree to either side of the argument, mainly because she was my friend and wanted to believe me even though most of the evidence was against me. “But, even if that is true, how are we ever to know?”
“Would her body give us any clues?” I ventured, thinking that I would go and dig her up right now if Darren could discover any more evidence.
“Her body already told us that it’s a suicide,” Ansel answered for our healer friend. “And I trust Darren and the other healers to do their job well.”
“I wasn’t saying that they didn’t,” I said defensively. “I never once said that.”
“But you kind of are, Shy,” Ansel said as he stepped forward. He looked like he wanted to take me in his arms again, but I was too fired up. I stepped away from him. My boyfriend clearly got my signal and took a deep breath. “Are you sure this isn’t you searching for something that isn’t there? Because you can’t accept the fact that she’s gone?”
My breath caught in my throat. The silence from my friends intensified it, and I opened my mouth to retort, but nothing came out. Instead, my eyes darted around at the faces of Darren, Violet, and Benji. None of them, except Ansel, would meet my eye.
“Is this what you all think?” I asked, finally finding my voice. “Do you think I’m just grasping at straws because I can’t… get over her death?”
“We just know you’re hurting,” Violet said as she reached out a hand towards me, but I pulled out of her reach as well. “It’s natural to look for another explanation when you’re hurt.”
“I know I’m upset, okay?” I said with a hand to my chest. “But I also knew… know Ruby. There’s no way. There’s just no way.”
“Okay, Cheyenne, fine,” Benji said as he got to his feet. Khryseos looked confused for a moment as to why he was moving up, then the dog settled back on the ground, a little sad to have lost his pillow. “Ruby didn’t kill herself. She was manipulated into it. So what? She’s still gone. It’s not like she’s coming back to tell us one way or the other. Either way, you still have to accept the fact that she’s gone.”
“We know that’s not going to be easy,” Ansel said, taking another step forward.
I suddenly felt cornered and immediately stopped listening to what they were saying. My brain was running too fast for me to focus on them and the thoughts at the same time. I blinked several times and staggered out of the center of everything. I found my back plastered against the front door as I took in sharp, labored breaths.
“Cheyenne?” someone said to me, though I couldn’t quite make out who it was through the fog of my thoughts.
Benji’s words spun around and around in my head like a broken merry-go-round. Ruby wasn’t coming back to tell us one way or the other. It didn’t matter how Ruby died. She was dead. There was no coming back from that.
But what if there was?
“I have to go get her,” I said suddenly, lifting my head with a clear voice and a clear head. I didn’t look at anyone specifically, but I finally had a better understanding of my surroundings. Violet, Benji, and Ansel stood in front of me as though I were a rabid animal that needed to be cornered and put back in a cage. Darren still sat on the couch, though he finally looked up at my recent declaration.
“What?” Benji blinked at me. “What did you say?”
“I have to go and get Ruby,” I repeated, my voice strengthening with each word. “From the Underworld.”
The four of them all had very separate reactions. Violet gasped and put a hand to her mouth, as though I’d said something scandalous. Ansel’s face burned a bright red, looking as though he were about to explode with his own opinions on the matter. Darren pushed himself up from the couch, finally joining the rest of us in a standing position. Benji burst out into uproarious laughter.
“That’s a good one, Cheyenne,” Benji said through his obnoxious chuckles. “Go and get her from the Underworld. Very funny!”
“She’s not joking Benji,” Darren said with an even keel voice, speaking for the first time since we all stepped into the apartment.
Darren’s words shut Benji right up, especially when he looked over his shoulder at the healer, whose steely gaze convinced Benji that he was dead serious. And so was I.
“Cheyenne,” Benji said warily as he spun slowly around to face me again. “You were joking, right?”
I shook my head. “No, I’m going to find the entrance to the Underworld and bring her back.”
“That’s impossible,” Ansel said sharply.
“No, it’s not,” I argued. “You know as well as I do that there are countless stories of Greek heroes venturing into the Underworld to bring back their loved ones or at least talk to them.” I held out my hand and proceeded to count the stories off on my fingers. “Odysseus did it. Heracles managed to capture Cerberus. Orpheus went down to find Eurydice. Psyche went down to prove herself to be worthy of being with Eros again.”
“Okay, okay,” Ansel held out his hands to stop my rambling. “We get it. But just because few other heroes did it and lived to tell the tale, doesn’t me
an that you’re going to go on a katabasis on your own.”
“Go on a what on her own?” Violet piped up, holding her hand up in the air, like a student.
“A katabasis,” I answered, though I didn’t take my eyes off my boyfriend. “It’s the Grecian word for a descent.”
“Specifically a descent to the Underworld,” Ansel said, his eyes boring into mine. “And you’re not taking one.”
“Then come with me,” I ventured the question, hesitating even as I spoke the words aloud. “You all can come with me. It’ll be easier with more people. It always is, according to mythology.”
My request was once again met with silence. The four of them looked at one another, and I suddenly felt left out. As though they were having a conversation without me. My eyes narrowed as I looked at my friends and boyfriend. These were supposed to be the people I trusted the most in the world, and right now, I was suspicious of all of them.
“None of you believe me, do you?” I said unexpectedly, surprising all of them and myself as I said the words. “Even with my discoveries and theories, you all still think she did it. That’s why you won’t go with me. Because you don’t think there’s a reason to go.”
A sigh from Benji was all I needed to confirm my suspicions. I scoffed and put my hand on my hands in disbelief. I shook my head, not knowing what to say.
“Good to know that you all have my back,” I muttered, hurt shining through in my words.
“We do have your back,” Violet protested. “This is coming from a place of hurt, and we don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret.”
“We’re just trying to protect you,” Benji added.
“I don’t need protecting!” I shouted, unable to hold back my anger any more. “I need help. I need someone to believe me so that I’m not alone when I go to the Underworld, bring Ruby back, and prove that she didn’t do this.”
Ansel ran a hand through his hair. I was sure he was about to come back at me with some stupid excuse, and I was ready for him. I even widened my stance a little, as though we were preparing for a physical battle instead of one with words. Instead, though, Ansel looked over at Darren with sad eyes. The healer inhaled sharply and shook his head, a sudden look of fear coming over his eyes.
