by Karen Deen
“Mommy, Soph is being sick everywhere! Come quickly, please, we need you.” Could this day be getting any worse, is it even possible? Nothing could possibly beat what had already happened and it wasn’t even past two o’clock yet.
“Shit!” I screamed. I turned and ran for the lounge room to find Sammy holding a bucket while Soph leaned into it, bringing up her lunch. I took over from Sammy, who looked upset. He starts rubbing Sophia’s back, just as he had seen me do many times to sooth her. I just can’t help it. In my head I am screaming as loud as I can. I am screaming, hitting walls, kicking toys and anything else I can think of to help me hold it together.
As I get Sophia settled and clean up her face with the washer, then wipe the bit up that got on the floor. I look up into the eyes of the man who just crushed me in a few simple sentences and one piece of paper. He looked down on me and the sight before him. I am sure all he saw was a mess of a life and felt pity for us. I could see his mouth moving but didn’t register what he was saying.
“Sorry, I didn’t hear what you said,” I mumbled, feeling very embarrassed at the whole situation.
“Is there anything I can do to help you, Emily. Please let me do something to help. You have had a big shock and look like you are already having a bad day.” His eyes never left me the whole time he was talking.
As he started to kneel towards myself and the kids he held out his hand. That simple statement about my day and the gesture of an offering to help broke the dam. I just couldn’t hold it together anymore.
I collapsed towards him.
I started to sob uncontrollably and fell against his shoulder. I didn’t even know this man, but something about his eyes told me not to fear him. I couldn’t control myself right at this time, anyway, and it all just came out.
“I…can’t…even…begin…to…explain…how bad…my day…has been.” I managed to get out between sobs. I could tell he didn’t know what to do, but he didn’t move and just rubbed my arm, telling me to breathe and that everything would be okay. “No, it won’t okay. I lost my job today and now my home. How can it be okay?” I yelled at him in between sobbing and gulping for air. “I have no money and nowhere to go. All I want to do is keep my kids safe and happy and I can’t even do that. What kind of a mother am I if I can’t even do that?” I looked up at him, not expecting an answer from a man who doesn’t know me from a bar of soap. He must think I’m an absolute crazy woman.
Expecting to see him retreating away from me, I was shocked to see him looking at me with a caring face. I expected one full of pity and disgust.
“I don’t know where to even begin to solve this. I just can’t do this anymore, I just can’t,” I repeat over and over again, getting softer and softer as I feel his arm starting to come around my shoulders and hold me tighter and tighter. It was like he was hanging on to me to stop me from falling. I felt his strength flowing through my body. Why was he even doing this? He didn’t know me or my life.
“I will help you, Emily, I will help you solve it. Believe me, I will be here to help you. You don’t have to do this on your own,” he murmured quietly in my ear.
“But you don’t understand. I have always had to do it on my own. I have no one to help.”
“Well that changes today, doesn’t it? Now you have me. Let’s get you up and sitting on the couch with the kids. We can start from there.”
Oh God, the kids had just seen me breakdown and heard everything I said about no job and no home. They must be so confused. Now there is a strange man in the house and he had his arms around me. I pulled away harshly and looked at the kids staring at me with wide eyes.
“Thank you, but I will be okay. I can sort it out. I will pull myself together. I am so sorry I just did that. That never happens, let alone with a complete stranger.” I staggered to my feet and tried to wipe my face to get rid of the tears and smudged make up that would be all over it. “Oh God, I can’t even remember your name. I am such a mess.”
Sammy piped up from behind me. “His name is Mr. Smiley! You remember Mommy, from yesterday-the man who was waving at us with the camera.” Then Sammy hugs Sophia, who is half hiding behind him looking at the whole scene. “It’s okay, Sophia, he is a nice man. He will be kind to us, won’t you Mister? He said he would help Mommy.”
A hopeful Samuel looked up at the stranger, hoping he would keep his promise. “Are you okay now, Mommy? I always feel better after I cry, and you hug me better. Did the man’s hug make you feel better too?” Oh, how can a child sometimes say the simplest thing that can mean the most.
The strange thing was, I did feel calmer while the mystery man hugged me. I had never felt anything like that before, but then again, I have never had anyone to hug me.
“Yes, Sammy, he did make me feel better. I will be fine now.” That was the biggest piece of bullshit I had ever said, but I need to let the kids think everything would be okay. “Sorry, what was your name again?”
“Zachary Stevenson but, Emily, please call me Zach. That’s what my family and friends call me. Also, I meant what I said. Please let me help, I really want to. How about we get the kids settled and I make you a cup of tea. We can have a chat. What do you say?”
“No, really. I will be okay. I am used to looking after myself and the kids. I have done it for so long now. It’s just what my life is. I am sure you are a busy man and don’t need to waste time with us. I will work something out. Thank you for your time and I am so sorry I completely embarrassed myself in front of you.”
“Emily,” Zach said this time in a smooth but forceful tone. “This is not up for debate. How about you clean up your daughter and get her settled. I bet this young man here would love to be the man of the house. He can show me where the cups are and help me make his Mom a nice cup of tea to make her feel better. Then, while the kids are watching a movie, you and I can sit and have a chat about how we are going to fix this problem.”
My mind was racing, trying to think of the words to convince Zach that he should go. Instead, my head started to slowly nod up and down and agree with what he said. Something about the way Zach spoke made me want to agree and I had no idea why. The calmness of his voice soothed me.
Zach
“So, little man, my name is Zach,” I said as I held out my hand for him to shake. ”What is your name?”
He looked at me for a split second, trying to decide if he should tell me, then the words came pouring out and I had a feeling they weren’t going to stop anytime soon.
“My name is Samuel, but my Mommy sometimes calls me Sammy. This is my sister, Sophia, and we call her Soph. She is my twin sister, but we don’t look the same. See, she is a girl and I am a boy. That is why we look different. Soph is a bit shy, but I always look after her because I am the oldest and that is also the job of the man of the house and the big brother to look after his sister and his Mom.” Sammy hadn’t even drawn a breath trying to tell me everything he thought was important for me to know.
“Sammy, slow down! I am sure Zach doesn’t need you to talk his ear off!” Emily was quick to jump in.
“No, no. He is fine, and I am more than happy to know everything he thinks is important. After all, he is the man of the house. Now Sammy, can I call you that?”
He nodded his little head up and down quickly.
“Ok Sammy. Now can you show me where the kitchen is, and we can get started on that cup of tea and maybe some water for Sophia?”
“Sure thing, Zach, follow me this way. I can show you!” He looked up at his Mom to make sure what he was doing was ok. She looked across at me and I gave her the most reassuring smile I could muster. Slowly, she nodded at Sammy and off he dragged me.
What the hell I was even doing here, I had no idea. I had no clue how to handle kids or a crying woman, but I also knew I couldn’t walk away. There was something about Emily and these two adorable kids. They had me feeling an unexplainable and overwhelming need to protect them and care for them. I had a feeling no one had ever done tha
t for them. Now I was here, that was going to change, whether Emily realized it or not.
I could never offer anything but my friendship, but I sensed that Emily could really use a friend at the moment. I would do what I could to make sure they find a safe home and a job for Emily so she can continue to provide for her family. But I can tell you one thing - it would be a damn better apartment than what they were living in now. We would find her a better paid job, so she didn’t have to struggle so hard. I was assuming a lot about her life, but the fact she lived in these units with sparse furnishings, I think I was pretty right to assume that life was tough for Emily.
“Zach, can you help me with the kettle? I can’t reach it to put the water in.” As I snapped out of my thoughts, I saw Sammy on tippy-toes trying to reach the kettle at the back of the cupboard.
“Woah there, buddy! How about you let me help you with that. Now, can you tell me does Mommy have a special cup that is just hers to drink tea out of?”
“Yes! It is up in that cupboard there and it is pink and says, ‘Best Mommy’. We got it for her at the school Mother’s Day stall. She cried when we gave it to her. I was worried she was sad, but she said they were happy tears. Lucky, because me and Soph tried really hard to pick the best present. We could only buy one thing and I let Soph pick. She said Mommy would like it.”
“That is very cool, Sammy, and I am sure she loves it. I bet she is the best Mommy to you and Sophia, isn’t she?”
“Yes, she is.” Then, he started to talk in a whisper “But I don’t like when she cries and gets sad. She thinks we don’t hear her, but sometimes she goes into the bathroom and we can still hear her cry. At night when I wake up, I can hear her in her bed. It makes me sad. You said you would help her, didn’t you Zach, you promised? Will you make her happy and not cry again?”
My mind was spinning with everything Sammy was saying. Where was his father and why wasn’t he here looking after Emily and the kids? My heart burned, hearing from Sammy that Emily was struggling so much. Little did Sammy know that he was cementing me in their lives by everything he was telling me.
“That’s right, bud, I did promise to help your Mom and make it better. I need your help to make sure she will let me help. I think the first thing we can do to help her though, is take in this nice hot cup of tea. Then she can sit down and have a talk with me. Does that sound like a good plan to you, Sammy?”
He grinned as he ran to the fridge to get the milk, so we could get started.
Emily
As I looked at Zach and Sammy walking away to the kitchen, I stood in the lounge room wondering what the hell just happened.
One minute I am answering the door to the hottest man I have ever seen, then he proceeds to rip my heart out. Now he was in my kitchen, (well, technically his kitchen seeing as he owned the building), making me a cup of tea with Samuel’s help. Could today get any weirder? Let’s hope it certainly doesn’t get any worse.
I turned to Sophia to check how she was. She looked tired and a bit drained, but still had a little sparkle in her eye. “I am sorry, Mommy” she whispered.
“Oh Sophia. It’s okay, darling. You can’t help being sick. It’s okay, we will get rid of the bucket and get you cleaned up. Then, you can have a little nap if you want to”. I studied her face to see what she thought.
“Ok, Mommy. I am a bit tired and want to stay here on the couch. Can I have a nap here with Sammy and Pinky? I promise not to be sick again.” If only it was that easy to promise, but I let her think that was fine.
“It’s okay sweetie. Let’s get you cleaned and back on the couch while Sammy is busy. You can pick out another movie to watch”.
“Thanks, Mommy! You make me feel better when I’m sick.” I gave her the best smile I could, even though I felt like shit, but she didn’t need to know that.
“That’s a Mommy’s job, Soph, to look after you and make you feel better.” I just wished I was better at it.
As I settled Sophia back on the couch and she picked out another movie, Sammy was proudly waiting to show me the cup of tea that he had made for me with Zach.
“Mommy, come and I will show you the special cup of tea I made with Zach!” Sammy led me into the kitchen where my cup of tea was sitting on the table with a small plate and a cookie sitting on a napkin. The napkin was cut into a circle with a smiley face drawn on it. It was the cutest thing I had ever seen! Sammy looked so proud of himself when he looked up to see a small smile sliding up my face.
“You were right, Zach, it did make her smile.” He looked up in Zach’s direction.
“Good job Sammy, give me five,” Zach said, raising his hand in the air for Sammy to slap. Sammy jumped like he had springs in his feet to reach Zach’s hand, with the biggest grin I had seen light up his face in a very long time. I don’t know what happened in that kitchen over a cup of tea, but it looked like Zach had made a friend for life-whether he wanted it or not.
For all the terrible feelings that had circled my body today, finally I felt a little warmth. Zach had no idea that simple little thing he offered Samuel, would mean so much. Sammy had never had a man around to bond with and do those simple boyish things that they did. A mom could never really replicate them. I realized how much Sammy was missing out on growing up with just me. I was sorry that Sammy was in this situation and I would give anything for he and Sophia to grow up in the American dream. The happily-ever-after Mom and Dad that live in a house in the suburbs, with a white picket fence, a dog and a goldfish and, of course, the minivan or SUV. My dreams didn’t allow me those visions anymore. I was happy to keep a roof over my family’s head at this stage and hold down a job to put food on the table.
Samuel’s laughing brought me back out of my head when I looked at him, still trying to high five Zach. Zach was constantly moving his hand, so Sammy would miss it.
Don’t get any ideas, Emily.
This man is here to kick you out of your home. The fact he is drop dead gorgeous and so gentle with you and the kids is irrelevant. Stop even thinking of anything past a cup of tea. You have a life to sort out, again.
“Sammy, can you go and keep Soph company, look after her for me. She has picked out another movie for you guys to watch. There is a coloring-in book on the table that you could maybe help her with if she feels like it”. His little eyes brightened up at everything I said because if there is one thing that he takes seriously, it is looking after Sophia.
“Okay Mommy, Zach can look after you while I look after Soph. Isn’t that right, Zach?” Samuel looked at him waiting for the answer he wanted.
“That’s right buddy, I got this. Now you go and do your job, okay?”
Sammy scurried past me into the lounge room where I heard him wildly telling Sophia about Zach. I looked across at Zach, who had hung his head slightly, his cheeks pinking up. He seemed embarrassed by Sammy being so excited about him.
“Thank you for being so nice to him. You have made his day. There has not been a whole lot to smile about lately.” I said the last part in a small whisper. Zach’s eyes watched me as I tried to work out what to say next. “Look, Zach. I know you are just here doing your job and I am sorry I broke down on you. Thank you for staying until I got myself together, but you don’t have to stay any longer if you don’t want to. I will work something out and let your office know when I am sorted to give you a date I’ll be out by.” My voice was rushing out of my mouth again. Partly because I was embarrassed for the break down, but the other reason being that Zach made me nervous. He was from a different world to me, but God, what I wouldn’t give to visit that world for a little bit. Just to be Emily the woman, one that was desired and not responsible for anything or anyone. Not sure that will happen anytime soon, or ever, for that matter.
Zach
“Emily, just sit down and enjoy the cup of tea that Sammy worked so hard to make perfect for you. I am in no rush to get back to the office.
They will survive without me.
If I go back now, I wi
ll only have to listen to my big bossy brother dissect my visit here today. Then my crazy sisters who will have not long been back from their lunch break and will want to tell me about their shopping trip.” I tried to speak softly to let Emily know that I was fine here and, although she felt embarrassed, I didn’t care what had happened.
“You have a very special little boy there. I am sure Sophia is just as cute. Sammy thinks the world of you and her. He is very protective of you both. He’ll grow up to be a gentleman who will know how he should treat a woman and make someone a very lucky husband and father one day.”
I could see the pride in Emily’s eyes at what I was saying to her. I very quickly got the impression that her two kids were her world and that was what made her keep battling through her hardships. I also saw so much more in those eyes. I saw Emily, the person. The one deep down inside that had long been buried. What I wouldn’t give to see that Emily come out to play one day.
Stop it, Zach. Friends, remember? That is all you can offer.
Emily was looking down into her tea, that sad look starting to creep back up her face. “How long have I got to be out by?” She slowly looked up at me, awaiting my answer. I needed to help her. I had to work out how I should go about it and how to convince her to let me.
“Don’t worry, Emily. We give out these notices with plenty of time so that if there are any issues, we can get them sorted before we are ready to demolish. You have at least eight weeks before we will even be ready to start the project.” It sounded like a long time, but the reality of finding a new place could be really hard for her and take a while.
“Let’s concentrate on getting you a new job first and then it will be easier to find a home.” I was watching her for a reaction but only saw her shoulders dip at the hopelessness she was feeling.
Think Zach, think hard. You need to fix this.
