by Rose Pearson
“Take her, now.”
Lord Smithton let go of Emily’s hand and gestured towards Lady Chesterton, as though she were his to order about.
“Take her to seek some refreshment. She looks somewhat pale.” He laughed and then turned away to speak to Emily’s father again, leaving Emily and her mother standing together.
Emily’s breathing was becoming ragged, her heart trembling within her as she struggled to fight against the dark clouds that were filling her heart and mind. To be married to such an odious gentleman as Lord Smithton was utterly terrifying. She would have no joy in her life any longer, not even an ounce of happiness in her daily living. Was this her doing? Was it because she had not been strong enough to stand up to her own father and refuse to do as he asked? Her hands clenched hard, her eyes closing tightly as she fought to contain the sheer agony that was deep within her heart.
“My dear girl, I am so dreadfully sorry.”
Lady Chesterton touched her arm but Emily jerked away, her eyes opening. “I cannot marry Lord Smithton, Mama.”
“You have no choice,” Lady Chesterton replied, sadly, her own eyes glistening. “I have tried to speak to your father but you know the sort of gentleman he is.”
“Then I shall run away,” Emily stated, fighting against the desperation that filled her. “I cannot remain.”
Lady Chesterton said nothing for a moment or two, allowing Emily to realize the stupidity of what she had said. There was no-one else to whom she could turn to, no-one else to whom she might escape. The only choices that were open to her were either to do as her father asked or to find another who might marry her instead – and the latter gave her very little hope.
Unless Lord Havisham….
The thought was pushed out of her mind before she could begin to consider it. She had become acquainted with Lord Havisham over the few weeks she had been in London and he had appeared very attentive. He always sought her out to seek a dance or two, found her conversation engaging and had even called upon her on more than one occasion. But to ask him to consider marrying her was something that Emily simply could not contemplate. He would think her rude, foolish and entirely improper, particularly when she could not be certain that he had any true affection for her.
But if you do nothing, then Lord Smithton will have his way.
“Emily.”
Her mother’s voice pulled her back to where she stood, seeing the pity and the helplessness in her mother’s eyes and finding herself filling with despair as she considered her future.
“I do not want to marry Lord Smithton,” Emily said again, tremulously. “He is improper, rude and I find myself afraid of him.” She saw her mother drop her head, clearly struggling to find any words to encourage Emily. “What am I to do, mama?”
“I – I do not know.” Lady Chesterton looked up slowly, a single tear running down her cheek. “I would save you from this if I could, Emily but there is nothing I can do or say that will prevent your father from forcing this upon you.”
Emily felt as though a vast, dark chasm had opened up underneath her feet, pulling her down into it until she could barely breathe. The shadows seemed to fill her lungs, reaching in to tug at her heart until it beat so quickly that she felt as though she might faint.
“I must go,” Emily whispered, reaching out to grasp her mother’s hand for a moment. “I need a few minutes alone.” She did not wait for her mother to say anything, to give her consent or refusal, but hurried away without so much as a backward look. She walked blindly through the crowd of guests, not looking to the left or to the right but rather straight ahead, fixing her gaze on her goal. The open doors that led to the dark gardens.
The cool night air brushed at her hot cheeks but Emily barely noticed. Wrapping her arms about her waist, she hurried down the steps and then sped across the grass, not staying on the paths that wound through the gardens themselves. She did not know where she was going, only that she needed to find a small, dark, quiet space where she might allow herself to think and to cry without being seen.
She soon found it. A small arbor kept her enclosed as she sank down onto the small wooden bench. No sound other than that of strains of music and laughter from the ballroom reached her ears. Leaning forward, Emily felt herself begin to crumble from within, her heart aching and her mind filled with despair. There was no way out. There was nothing she could do. She would have to marry Lord Smithton and, in doing so, would bring herself more sadness and pain than she had ever felt before.
There was no-one to rescue her. There was no-one to save her. She was completely and utterly alone.
Chapter Two
Three days later and Emily had stopped her weeping and was now staring at herself in the mirror, taking in the paleness of her cheeks and the dullness of her eyes.
Her father had only just now informed her that she was to be wed by the Season’s end and was now to consider herself engaged. There had been no discussion. There had been not even a thought as to what she herself might feel as regarded Lord Smithton. It had simply been a matter of course. She was to do as her father had directed, as she had been taught to do.
Emily swallowed hard, closing her eyes tightly as another wave of tears crashed against her closed lids. Was this to be her end? Married to Lord Smithton, a gentleman whom she despised, and allowing herself to be treated in any way he chose? It would be a continuation of her life as it was now. No consideration, no thought was given to her. Expected to do as she was instructed without question – and no doubt the consequences would be severe for her if she did not do as Lord Smithton expected.
A shudder ran through her and Emily opened her eyes. For the first time, a small flickering flame of anger ignited and began to burn within her. Was she simply going to allow this to be her life? Was she merely going to step aside and allow Lord Smithton and her father to come to this arrangement without her acceptance? Was she truly as weak as all that?
Heat climbed up her spine and into her face. Weak was a word to describe her, yes. She was weak. She had tried, upon occasion, to do as she pleased instead of what her father had demanded of her and the punishment each time had broken her spirit all the more until she had not even a single thought about disobeying him. It had been what had led to this circumstance. If she had been stronger, if she had been more willing to accept the consequences of refusing to obey her father without question without allowing such a thing to break her spirit, then would she be as she was now?
“Then mayhap there is a time yet to change my circumstances.”
The voice that came from her was weak and tremulous but with a lift of her chin, Emily told herself that she needed to try and find some courage if she was to find any hope of escaping Lord Smithton. And the only thought she had was that of Lord Havisham.
Viscount Havisham was, of course, lower in title and wealth than the Marquess of Smithton, but that did not matter to Emily. They had discovered a growing acquaintance between them, even though it was not often that her father had let her alone to dance and converse with another gentleman. It had been a blessing that the requests to call upon her had come at a time when her father had been resting from the events of the previous evening, for her and her mother had been able to arrange for him to call when Lord Chesterton had been gone from the house. However, nothing of consequence had ever been shared between them and he certainly had not, as yet, made his request to court her but mayhap it had simply been too soon for such a decision. Regardless, Emily could not pretend that they did not enjoy a comfortable acquaintance, with easy conversation and many warm glances shared between them. In truth, her heart fluttered whenever she laid eyes upon him, for his handsome features and his broad smile had a profound effect upon her.
It was her only chance to escape from Lord Smithton. She had to speak to Lord Havisham and lay her heart bare. She had to trust that he too had a fondness for her, in the same way that she had found her affections touched by him. Else what else was she to do?
Li
fting her chin, Emily closed her eyes and took in a long breath to steady herself. After a moment of quiet reflection, she rose and made her way to the writing table in the corner of the bedchamber, sitting down carefully and picking up her quill.
***
“Miss Taylor.”
Emily’s breath caught as she looked up into Lord Havisham’s face. His dark blue eyes held a hint of concern, his smile somewhat tensed as he bowed in greeting.
“Lord Havisham,” she breathed, finding even his very presence to be overwhelming. “You received my note, then.”
“I did,” he replied, with a quick smile, although a frown began to furrow his brow. “You said that it was of the utmost importance that we spoke this evening.”
Emily nodded, looking about her and seeing that her father was making his way up the small staircase towards the card room, walking alongside Lord Smithton. Their engagement was to be announced later this evening and Emily knew she had to speak to Lord Havisham before that occurred.
“I know this is most untoward, but might we speak in private?” she asked, reaching out and surreptitiously putting her hand on his arm, battling against the fear of impropriety. She had done this much, she told herself. Therefore, all she had to do was continue on as she had begun and her courage might be rewarded.
Lord Havisham hesitated. “That may be a little….”
Emily blushed furiously, knowing that to speak alone with a gentleman was not at all correct, for it could bring damaging consequences to them both – but for her, at this moment, she did not find it to be a particularly concerning issue, given that she was to be married to Lord Smithton if he did not do anything.
“It is of the greatest importance, as I have said,” she replied, quickly, praying that he would consent. “Please, Lord Havisham, it will not take up more than a few minutes of your time.” Seeing him hesitate even more, she bit her lip. “Surely you must know me well enough to know that I would not force you into anything, Lord Havisham,” she pleaded, noting how his eyes darted away from hers, a slight flush now in his cheeks. “There is enough of a friendship between us, is there not?”
Lord Havisham nodded and then sighed “I am sorry, Miss Taylor,” he replied, quietly, looking at her. “You are quite right. Come. The gardens will be quiet.”
Walking away from her mother – who did not do anything to hinder Emily’s departure, Emily felt such an overwhelming sense of relief that it was all she could do to keep her composure. Surely Lord Havisham, with his goodness and kind nature, would see the struggle that faced her and seek to do what he could to bring her aid? Surely he had something of an affection in his heart for her? But would it be enough?
“Now,” Lord Havisham began, as they stepped outside. “What is it that troubles you so, Miss Taylor?”
Now that it came to it, Emily found her mouth going dry and her heart pounding so furiously that she could barely speak. She looked up at Lord Havisham, seeing his features only slightly in the darkness of the evening and found herself desperately trying to say even a single word.
“It is…..” Closing her eyes, she halted and dragged in air, knowing that she was making a complete cake of herself.
“I am to be wed to Lord Smithton,” she managed to say, her words tumbling over each other in an attempt to be spoken. “I have no wish to marry him but my father insists upon it.” Opening her eyes, she glanced warily up at Lord Havisham and saw his expression freeze.
Find out what happens next between Emily and Lord Havisham in the book, available in the Kindle Store A New Beginning
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