She took another sip of tea. “I had no idea I was pregnant until today. My cycle’s usually pretty normal, but the last few months…” Emily gazed into the distance. “I haven’t been keeping track.”
“A surprise for us both.”
“I’d say.” She let the teacup rest on the covers over her lap and looked around the room. “Why did you bring me here?” Her big blue eyes met Zaman’s, and he felt like he’d been struck by sweet lightning all over again. “I had the impression you were bored with me.”
He let out a bark of a laugh. “Me, bored with you? No.” No, that wasn’t it at all. “I came to this room on instinct. And I like having you in my bed.”
She arched an eyebrow. “So you’re not angry with me for putting you off?”
“I was frustrated,” he admitted. “I thought you’d decided you were done with me without saying anything. But now I understand why you were so tired.”
“It’s bone deep,” Emily said. “I could sleep for days.”
He leaned in and kissed her forehead. “If you need to sleep for days, then I’ll make sure no one bothers you. But if you think you’ll feel better after a small rest, I’d like to ask something of you.”
Emily lifted her eyebrows over her cup of tea.
“Join my family for dinner this evening.”
Her eyes went wide, and she lowered the cup very slowly. “You want me to meet your family?”
“Given the circumstances…” She had been a hired employee, and she had also been his lover, and now she could be the mother of his child. There was a very small window for him to control the narrative, if that window hadn’t already closed. At the very least, he wanted to get out ahead of the rumors that would spread around the palace. It was impossible to keep something of this magnitude a secret for very long, and Zaman didn’t relish the thought of having someone else break it to his family. “Yes. I think all of you should be introduced.”
She grimaced.
“It won’t be so awful,” he said, rubbing at her arm. “You’ve already talked to Makayla, and Amina talks to everyone like she’s known them all her life.”
Emily pressed her lips together and closed her eyes for several beats. “Let’s see how I feel in the evening.”
12
Getting out of bed seemed like the worst idea in the world, so Emily didn’t. The medication Dr. Salib had given her to take the edge off the nausea had smoothed the edges of the world, making the covers on Zaman’s bed feel even softer than they had before. Plus, Zaman had basically ordered her to stay in bed.
Bed, three. Emily, zero.
Pregnant. She was pregnant.
What if he asked her to marry him?
No.
Of course she wouldn’t accept.
Marrying for convenience or business or duty had never been on the table for Emily, not since she knew what marriage was. If she was going to get married, it was going to be for love, not a baby.
A tiny glow flared at the core of her, growing bigger until it spread across her entire chest and sent heat across her cheeks. Zaman’s dark eyes had been hot on hers when he promised to help her with the baby—promised to take care of her. She couldn’t pretend she didn’t want that. It had been years since she’d had anything close.
And she wanted him.
He hadn’t offered—not in that way—but she wanted him.
Emily pulled the covers tighter and rolled onto her side, acutely aware of how the receding edges of the nausea shifted and moved along with her. Pregnant. Pregnant, pregnant, pregnant. The word banged around in her head until it didn’t make sense anymore.
I could fall for him.
She opened her eyes wide and sat up. Mistake. Emily lowered herself back to the pillows. Dr. Salib had said the meds would take a little while to kick in. Until then, she had to take it very easy.
She closed her eyes and pulled the blankets up to her chin, the smooth pull of the fabric bringing a memory roaring into her mind—staying home sick from school, covered by the quilt that was usually reserved for her mother’s rocking chair, and feeling her hand against her feverish forehead.
The wave of homesickness that rocked her next almost overpowered the nausea. She was pregnant. That meant she needed to go home, back to where her family was. Back to where people knew her. She drifted lightly through a lifetime of memories in Kentucky, an endless succession of kitchen tables and back porches and rides through the green hills and It’s Emily, Cal’s girl. How could she have a baby in Qadir, where the only people she regularly interacted with were Zaman and Daud and the rest of the stable staff?
Someone knocked softly at the door, and she turned over, feeling that strange shifting in her gut.
“How are you feeling? Any better?” He sat in a chair as if he knew that sitting on the edge of the bed would cause that sloshing in her stomach. “If the meds haven’t worked yet, I can call Dr. Salib back.”
“They…” Wait. She didn’t feel nearly so off-balance now. Aside from nerves, her stomach felt…pretty normal. “I guess they did work.”
Zaman gave her an encouraging smile. “The nap probably helped.”
“I didn’t nap.”
“We can agree to disagree on that.”
She gave him a light slap on the shoulder. “Don’t watch me while I sleep.”
Zaman raised both his hands in the air. “I didn’t mean to, I swear it. I only came in to see if you were all right. And you were, so I left.”
She rolled her eyes, then gave him a laugh. Her stomach had settled. “I feel all right,” she said finally. “Are you here to get my dinner RSVP?”
“I am.” His eyes twinkled at the joke. “Are you ready to give it? There’s no pressure,” he said quickly. “If you don’t feel up to it, we can postpone.”
She had a vivid flash of feigning illness and staying in bed, but it felt…wrong, somehow. Like she had something to hide. And she did not have anything to hide. Yes, it had been an unconventional arrangement between the two of them, but they were both consenting adults, and she was pregnant with his baby. This meeting would have to happen sooner or later, especially if she stayed in Qadir.
But even if she didn’t stay in Qadir, she owed it to Zaman to meet his family. That was what you did when a relationship got serious. If this didn’t count as serious, she didn’t know what would.
“I’ll come to dinner.”
Zaman stood. “I’ll give you some time alone, then. To get ready.”
“No,” she said quickly, surprising herself. “Don’t go yet. I think we should test out these meds before I go anywhere.”
“Test them out how?” Zaman looked entirely too intrigued.
“By walking around the room,” she said. It was more than fondness that made her feel this way. Or maybe it was a new fondness for the anti-nausea meds. Either way, her cheeks flushed. “Help me out of bed.”
The walk around the room went well, and so did the shower, and before Emily knew it, she was walking on Zaman’s arm to the palace’s private dining room. She’d used trial and error to find the most comfortable dress she’d borrowed from Makayla, a gently shaped caftan in autumn gold. Her heart pulsed, one beat hard, one beat soft, and she felt vaguely sick again.
“I don’t know if this is a good idea,” she said, pulling him to a stop just outside the door.
“You can train headstrong stallions,” Zaman said with a smile. “You can meet my family.”
It was about more than meeting people, but Emily couldn’t find the words. She squared her shoulders and let him lead her into the dining room.
The first person to greet them was Hasim, Zaman’s father. He didn’t bat an eye at her. He only led the charge when it came to the introductions. “Emily,” he said. “Welcome. It’s a pleasure to have you with us.”
Zaman took her around and introduced her to Malik, who hadn’t spent much time at the stables, and his wife, Holly. Their two-year-old twins, Talora and Sami, ran around at everyone’s fe
et, followed closely by a smiling nanny. She met Makayla face-to-face—cradling their three-month-old daughter Emine—and got a flurry of compliments on her dress. Baqir stood close by, his hand lightly resting on Makayla’s waist, which sent a tiny flare of jealousy through Emily. By the time she met Amina, she had the sense that they’d all known about her for a while and weren’t saying anything. Maybe that’s how things were in the palace. It was like that in Kentucky—people knew your business well before you were ready to tell it.
Emily didn’t like it much here, either.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” said Amina. She got a sly look in her eye. “I expected to meet you sooner.”
“I’m just a trainer from the stables,” she said. “Do you always invite your horse trainers to dinner?”
Makayla snorted behind her and covered it with a cough. There it was—proof that they’d known all along about what she and Zaman had been doing. Emily’s face went hot, then hotter. It was one thing to think about prying eyes and ears in the abstract, and now she was faced with the reality of it.
And worse—it made her heart beat hard to think of it—they must already think something was up. Why else would she have been invited to a family dinner? She forced down the urge to insist that nothing was happening. Emily hadn’t made her mind up about any of it yet—the baby, staying in Qadir, Zaman. Calm yourself. She had to get through meeting them first; she could decide what to do later.
They sat down to a dinner of lamb dripping in a sauce that made her ravenous from the first bite. Emily couldn’t get enough of it. She’d expected to pick at her food, maybe have a few bites of bread, but the lamb smelled so good on her plate that she practically inhaled it. Was it wrong for her to wave over a servant and discreetly ask for seconds? She didn’t care. She did it anyway.
Nobody batted an eye, and Emily started to relax.
It was a mistake.
Dinner wound down. Hasim had grilled her about the horse farm in Kentucky, and Amina wanted to know where she’d gone to college. Emily was answering a question about horses from Makayla when Zaman stood up.
“Now that you’ve had the chance to meet Emily, we have an announcement to make.” He dropped a hand to her shoulder, and time slowed, each moment stretching out into a horrifying eternity. No, Emily wanted to scream. Don’t— But the words froze on her tongue. She patted Zaman’s hand slightly frantically, trying to get him to stop, but he just took it as encouragement to say: “Emily is pregnant with our child.”
A silence deeper than she’d ever experienced lasted exactly five heartbeats, and then Zaman’s family erupted with congratulations.
“When’s the wedding?” Hasim said jovially, pulling her in for a hug and shaking Zaman’s hands.
Anger licked at the back of her mind like runaway flames. How dare he announce the news like that? He hadn’t asked her for her opinion. Emily didn’t care if they knew already. They could have pretended, for her sake. He could have given her a bit of control.
It took everything she had to wait for the dinner to end.
13
“Slow down. Emily—please. Slow down.”
Emily moved through the halls ahead of him at an astonishing speed. Only hours before, she’d been doubled over in the training ring, retching. Now she marched from the dining room to the private wing as if the private wing had done her wrong and she was seeking vengeance.
“I don’t want to slow down,” she said over her shoulder, every word viciously clipped.
“At least tell me what’s wrong.”
Emily let out a short “Ha!” and kept going.
“Em.”
“Don’t call me Em like we’re best buddies.”
She stopped in front of the door to her rooms, and Zaman jogged to close the gap. “I’m calling you Em like you’re a close…companion,” he said lamely. “Like you’re the mother of my child.” There. That was better. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
Emily lifted her chin, eyes flashing. “I don’t want to have this conversation in public,” she said pointedly, then opened the door to her room and stormed in.
“We’re not in public.” He closed the door behind them. “I don’t know what you mean.”
She rounded on him. “Did it ever occur to you that I might not want to announce my pregnancy to your entire family on the same day I learn about it myself?”
“I thought—” Zaman had no good reply to this. It had been his highest priority to tell them before they heard the news from someone else. He’d assumed that would be obvious to Emily, too. “I didn’t consider that, no.”
“Well, you should have considered it.” She paced back and forth in front of him, taking deliberate breaths. “I’m not interested in your—your presumptions about me.”
“I shouldn’t have made the announcement,” Zaman said. More than anything, he wanted her to relax. He knew next to nothing about pregnancy, but what he did know was that mothers-to-be shouldn’t be put in stressful situations. Emily’s cheeks were a deep red. That had to be bad. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry isn’t good enough.” She stopped and stared him down. “You need to realize that you can’t force me into anything.”
“I wouldn’t do that,” Zaman said, struggling to keep his voice level. Her anger filled the room, making it hard to breathe. “That’s not what I intended to do.”
“From now on, we need to make decisions about the baby together. It’s not Zaman making all the choices for both of us. Do you understand?” Emily stepped closer. “Do you?”
“I understand,” he said softly. He wanted to take her in her arms and hold her until her breathing returned to its normal steady rate, but he could feel the irritation and hurt billowing off her like a radiator kicking off heat. “Let’s sit down and talk about this.”
“Let’s not.” Emily drew herself up to her full height. “I think you should go. I need some time to be alone.”
Emily followed him to the door and slammed it shut as soon as he stepped through.
She needed time to be alone the next day, too, and the next. Every time Zaman approached her in the stables or the hallway, she responded to him with an icy politeness that made him feel like garbage. Worse than garbage. Emily was practically incandescent with anger, and Zaman was more bewildered by the second. She didn’t seem like the kind of person who would get so angry about one mistake.
They never got anywhere in their discussions, either. Emily wouldn’t talk to him about the pregnancy at all.
She was freezing him out.
* * *
The news from the stables was the breaking point.
It had been a week of this frozen wasteland between them, and Zaman was going out of his mind. It was bad enough that Emily was busy being angry at him for one mistake. It was worse that she wouldn’t let him make it up to her.
But racing, in her condition?
Out of the question.
He paced his rooms, trying to use deep breathing techniques to calm himself. As a child, he’d spent many days learning to control his emotions. He had to—as a prince of Qadir, he couldn’t very well go around flying off the handle every time something didn’t go his way.
But this was beyond not going his way. This was so far into dangerous and reckless territory that it took him ten trips across the room to reach a state of calm.
That was when Emily burst in, pushing the door open so hard and fast it banged against the doorstop. “You can’t summon me here,” she shouted. “I work with the horses. I’m not your body man.”
“I asked you here so that we can have a discussion.” His blood started up a low boil. “I thought you might not want to have it in front of your staff.”
“My staff is busy preparing Maj for the trial run. I should be out there, but instead I’m here with you, addressing—I don’t even know what I’m addressing.”
“You’re not taking Maj on the trial run,” he said flatly, his stomach surging at th
e thought of her on the course by herself. In all the emotions of the past week, he’d completely forgotten about the trial. They’d scheduled it weeks ago, a chance for Maj and Emily to see the complete course before the race. Most entrants scheduled a time for the informal trial. But just because it was informal didn’t mean it was any safer than when the actual race was on. “I forbid it.”
High color flew to Emily’s cheeks, and her mouth dropped open. She let out a bitter laugh, and then another. “Then—then I quit, since you won’t let me do my job.”
“This has nothing to do with your job—”
“Oh, doesn’t it?” Her chin quivered, but her words were sharp. “Because it seems like you’re scared to let me have any control over the situation—”
He rushed to her, holding himself back from taking her by the shoulders and pressing her to his chest. “If you want me to admit that I’m afraid, then fine, I’ll admit it.” Zaman struggled to keep his voice under control. “But I’m only afraid that something will happen to you out on the horse. That you and the baby will be injured on the ride.” He kept from shouting the last words, but it was a near thing. But more words broke away from him. “Anything could happen to you.”
Emily blinked, took a step back, and when she spoke again, her voice was calmer. “I’m not riding, Zaman.”
“You’re not?” He felt a relief so powerful it almost took him to his knees, followed quickly by a sharp irritation. The servant who’d brought him the news had told him that Emily was planning to test the horse. The meaning of the message had seemed clear enough in the moment. “Then who?”
“Daud says Gil is the second-best jockey in the stables, so he’ll do most of the riding. Korah’s coming to spell him.” She brushed her hair away from her face. “I’ll be driving along behind in an SUV and camping along the way.”
“No.” Even that was too much. “I don’t like the idea of you out there alone with a man and a boy.”
The Sheikh’s Stubborn Employee: Qadir Sheikhs Book Three Page 7
