by Virna DePaul
As the days passed, I enjoyed sleeping with Cade and Jamie, together and sometimes separately, but I did my best to stay realistic and keep my heart guarded. At the same time, I kept looking for a third guy. When the grocery store was a bust, I signed up for a single’s mixer, then freaked out about being in a crowded room of strangers, each assessing each other as potential spouses. I just wanted a fourth in a foursome, not babies.
“Please come with me,” I begged Ellis, riffling through the bag of dresses he’d brought over from the set. Didn’t the soap opera costume people ever wonder where their sexy designer evening wear kept disappearing to? I held up a teeny-tiny red dress with barely-there spaghetti straps that looked like it would barely go from my nipples to my hoo-ha. I tossed that one over my shoulder.
“Sorry, can’t. I have a date.” He quickly checked his phone. “Make that dates. Plural.”
“Come on,” I whined. “It starts early. You can just come for a bit and then bounce. I don’t want to go alone.”
“Why not go with Man Bun Dude or Mr. McDrums?” Ellis asked, jerking his thumb at the wall separating my apartment from Jamie’s—a wall that was shaking with the beat of Jamie’s bass drum.
Jamie’s drumming hadn’t become any less loud since he agreed to participate in the sex study with me, but it had become perhaps a little less angry. In fact, sometimes I heard him play the song Sex Study Neighbor, and as much as it embarrassed me to know he’d written a song about my deepest, darkest secret, the song was sweet—melodious and emotional.
My eyes moved from the shaking wall back to Ellis. “I’d be more comfortable with you. Besides, they wouldn’t blend. I need someone who can blend.”
Ellis’s eyes did this rare narrowing thing, which I knew meant he was pissed off. He rarely got angry, but there was something brewing under his usual cheerful surface. “You’re really going to hunt for a complete stranger to fuck?”
I stared at him blankly. “I thought we already had the talk about your double standard? Besides, look at Jamie and Cade.” Even as I said the words, tingles shot through me at the memory of Ellis standing in the doorway of my bedroom, stroking himself as he watched Cade and Jamie fuck me. “They were strangers to me.”
He shifted his gaze away from me and stared at the wall. “That was different. You’d been checking out Cade for months, and Jamie has been living next door to you.”
Those were true, and I got why Ellis was feeling protective, but I couldn’t believe there was anything more to it than that. And I couldn’t let him stop me either. Participating in the sex study wasn’t just about the money, it never had been. It was about proving that I could be a bolder, more adventurous, more passionate Tessa. And look where it had led me already? Cade and Jamie were in my life now. Maybe just temporarily, but I’d take them for as long as I could have them.
But I shouldn't keep dragging Ellis into my schemes. Shouldn’t keep hoping that at some point, me asking him for help would lead to something more than friendship.
Oh God. That’s what I was doing, wasn’t it? Did I really think by including Ellis in my sex study plans, he’d end up being my third lover? Granted, it had come pretty close to that, what with the way he’d jerked off to watching me with Cade and Jamie, but he’d blown that off. He’d blown us off. I needed to get a clue and realize that sooner or later, I was going to have to stop depending on Ellis so much. “No worries. I’ll go by myself.”
“No.” Ellis stood and held up his hands. “I’ll go to the mixer with you.”
“Okay,” I said immediately. Ugh. So much for no longer depending on him.
“I need to go home first to shave and shower, so I’ll call you an Uber and will meet you there.” Ellis marched to the door, calling over his shoulder, “And I get to pick the dress. Wear the red one.”
I stared at the teeny-tiny puddle of red fabric flopped on my floor. With a sigh, I slicked on the strappy red dress, did some magic with a daring red lipstick and heavy mascara, and waited for the text from my Uber driver.
Ellis and I walked into the bustling conference hall of the Holiday Inn in Burbank and not even the presence of a small buffet of cheese and crackers next to the wine bar could ease the churning in my stomach. Too many people to talk to, way too many.
Okay,” I whispered to Ellis out of the corner of my mouth as I scanned the crowd for a “sex study on super late notice” type. “What’s the plan of attack here?” I noticed a thirty-something guy in a business suit checking out a woman’s ass. I didn’t feel a buzz looking at him, but maybe if I talked to him, or got close enough to smell his cologne (he looked like the type to bathe in cologne), I might feel a tingle or two.
“What about him?” I asked, surreptitiously pointing. “Might be smart to run a criminal record, but… Ellis?”
I turned to realize with mild horror that Ellis was gone and I had been talking to absolutely no one right in front of people, at least one of whom I was hoping to convince to get naked with me and two other guys. Off to a great start, per usual…
Clearing my throat, I moved further into the room and searched for where Ellis might have disappeared to. That wasn’t like him. That wasn’t like him at all.
I found him surrounded by three beautiful young women, all giggling and touching his toned biceps with manicured hands. Jealousy flooded through me. Fingers curling into frustrated fists, I marched straight up to the giddy little group and forced a smile even though Ellis kept his attention on the blonde girl in the bubblegum pink dress to his right.
“Ellis, there you are,” I said rather sweetly. “Your mom wanted me to tell you that if you take any girls home tonight, she washed fresh underwear for you and put them in your top drawer.”
Bubble Gum Pink’s smile faltered. “We, um, we have to go to the ladies’ room.” She pulled her hand quickly from Ellis’s arm and gave him a fake smile. “Have a nice night.”
“Bye,” I said politely, watching with a slight smile as the other two hurried after their bestie in their towering black heels.
When I turned back, Ellis was already moving away from me, heading to the line at the bar.
Ellis,” I hissed, hurrying after him in my own pair of uncomfortable heels. “Where are you going?” I grabbed onto his arm and turned him around to face me.
“You want a beer or something?” he asked as casually as if I were just a bro, not a woman he’d seen getting banged by two other men and one who knew he’d definitely gotten hard while doing so. “My treat.”
“Hold up,” I ordered, crossing my arms and blocking his path when he tried to escape my inquisition. “Can we please just talk about the other—”
“Fine. No beer. Wine, then. Red or white?” he asked, completely ignoring me.
Well, two could play at that game, my friend.
“Why did you walk away from me when we came in here?” I questioned. “You abandoned me to the wolves.”
It was Ellis who now crossed his arms.
“We’re at a single’s mixer, Tessa,” he said, indicating to the full conference hall. “I’m single, and I’m going to mingle. What else would I do here?”
You’d help me. Because I need you. I just managed to stop myself from blurting the words out. His words stung, but I was so frustrated with him that I refused to let him see that.
“Fine.” I pulled back my shoulders and held my chin high. “Good luck, then. May we’ll both find what we’re after.” I stuck out my hand and hoped it wasn’t shaking. “Betcha I’ll get more numbers than you, friend.”
Ellis’s eyes remained fixed on mine as he took my hand and shook it curtly. “Go get ’em, tiger,” he said, then gave me his megawatt brilliant smile and slid past me.
And I let him go.
Soon, he was chatting with a redheaded woman with a waistline the size of a rubber band. He didn’t even glance in my direction as he laughed at something she said. But he did fiddle with his phone, and suddenly mine pinged with a text. I dug around in my purse an
d frowned as I read.
ELLIS: Already got her number. You better get a move on.
In a huff, I pushed to the front of the line at the bar. “Gin and tonic.”
“Hey, lady, there’s a line,” a guy behind me whined.
I turned to him and stared him down. “I’m on my period, okay?” Bad of me, I know, pulling out the menstruation card, but hey, sometimes a girl’s gotta get drunk, and fast. Ellis was blowing me off and in a way that was going to land him a heap load of other women’s phone numbers, and I didn’t know what to do with that besides try to win our little competition. So game on.
“Gin and tonic,” I repeated to the bartender, then caught sight of Ellis out of the corner of my eye with his arm around Rubber Band Lady. Quickly, I added, “And make it a double.”
"So Microsoft has put out some really great Autocorrect options with the latest upda—”
“Yeah, sure,” I interrupted Joe R. (according to his crooked nametag on his tweed jacket) and grabbed his shoulders, giving him a bit of a twist. “Um, could you just stand a little bit…this…ah. Perfect. Yeah, right there.”
Joe R. seemed confused for a moment, but jumped right back into his riveting Microsoft Word tutorial nonetheless. I finished the rest of my gin and tonic, and watched Ellis, who was chatting with a steadily growing group of women. When his eyes finally found their way to me, I quickly looked away, laughed loudly, and ran my palm down Joe R.’s arm flirtatiously.
“Oh, my gosh,” I said loudly, making sure Ellis could hear me, “you are so funny. You’re like the funniest guy I have ever met.”
Joe R. shook his head and said, “But I only said that I thought Microsoft could improve its user interface, and that’s not really that funn—”
I giggled loudly. “User interface. So hilarious. You are just the funniest ever.” I checked as subtly as I could to see Ellis’s reaction, only to growl in frustration when I found his back to me.
“You must work out all the time,” I easily heard him say to the trim redhead, another full bottle of beer in his hand. “And you must hardly ever order Italian takeout with extra breadsticks.”
“Ugh,” I grumbled before stalking away from Joe R., headed yet again to the bar.
“Wait, Tessa,” Joe R. called after me. “You haven’t even heard the awesome new updates they have planned!”
I turned around and shrugged as I continued to walk away backward. “Joe R., I spilled beer on my laptop like three and a half months ago.”
This time I waited in line, only to have my phone ping yet again.
ELLIS: I have three numbers now, btw. You?
I shoved my phone back into my purse and pounded my fist on the white table cloth, startling the bartender and making the arrangement of bottles rattle.
“Gin. Skip the tonic.”
"Hey, you’re hot,” I said to the first hot guy I found in the crowd after downing half my drink.
Seth Reeves with a smiley face on his nametag raised an amused eyebrow down at me and was about to give me what surely was a fantastic pickup line, but I had no time for that.
“Come with me.” I grabbed his wrist and dragged him behind me through chatting couples until I found Ellis with a new beer—a Stella—and a new girl, also a Stella. Damn. My boy knew how to play the game, didn’t he?
“Hey, Ellis,” I said, pushing Seth forward as I wobbled only ever so slightly in my heels. “Ellis, look at how hot this guy is. Do you see how hot he is?”
Ellis ignored Seth and his obvious embarrassment and slung his arm over Stella with a heart on her nametag. “Tessa, have you seen this woman?” He smiled at me. “She’s very beautiful, isn’t she?”
“I’m going home with Seth,” I said.
“Actually,” Seth said, speaking to me for the first time, “I think I’m just going to go to the bar.” He pulled his hand from mine and turned in the direction of the bar, then glanced at Stella.
“Um, I’ll go with you,” Stella slipped from under Ellis’s arm and disappeared after Seth, leaving Ellis and I alone.
We stared at each other, glaring and silent, before we each turned around with a frustrated huff and marched in the opposite direction. Well, I marched in the opposite direction until I realized I was moving away from the bar. I ignored Ellis as he ordered another beer next to me.
“I know,” the bartender said, all but rolling his eyes at me. “Gin. A double. No tonic.”
I grinned. “You got it, babe.” Then I burped, and didn’t even care.
"Five,” I announced as I bumped shoulders with Ellis. The bump made me wobbly. “Numbers, not drinks,” I clarified when I swayed.
He just grinned and gave me a wink. “Six. Numbers and drinks.” He passed me by, headed toward a busty brunette.
Damn it.
Wiggling the top of my dress down a smidge and tugging up the bottom a smidge and a half, I went back to work.
“Nine,” Ellis said casually twenty minutes later as he slid a twenty toward the pretty bartender.
I grabbed my drink and stretched onto my tiptoes to lean over and whisper in his ear, “Ten.”
Maybe it was an hour later, maybe it was three, but I soon found myself standing on one side of an almost empty conference hall. Ellis stood on the other.
“Sixteen,” I called past the staff packing up the dirty glasses and table clothes.
Ellis nodded, clearly impressed. “Seems we have a little bit of a problem then,” he said as he started to walk toward me.
I raised an eyebrow and stepped one foot in front of the other, matching his every step. Well, no, not really. I’d stopped ordering drinks after four, but still, I wobbled. At least I wasn’t seeing two of Ellis. That was a good sign. “And what would that be, Ellis, dear?” I asked.
"Well, Tessa, dear, my final total happens to be exactly sixteen, as well.”
We continued to move closer toward one another. We were now no more than three feet away.
“It seems we are deadlocked then,” I said, watching my best friend intently.
“Unless you concede.”
I spit out a laugh as we stopped chest to chest. “Concede?” I exclaimed. “Why in the world would I concede? You should concede.” I poked at his chest and he smirked, smiling so fucking charmingly down at me that I wanted to murder him right then and there.
“You know you can’t beat me at this game, Tessa Stewart,” he said, tipping his head closer to mine. “Just admit defeat.”
I jutted my chin up defiantly. His stunning blue eyes were a challenge as he continued to grin down at me.
“I’m not giving up.” I poked at his firm (how was it always so firm?) chest again.
He moved his face even closer so all I could see were his eyes and all he could see were mine. Our lips were inches away.
“Give up,” he murmured.
“You give up.”
His eyes narrowed. “Concede.”
“Never.”
“I won’t accept defeat.” His breath brushed over my skin.
“No. I’ll nev—”
Ellis closed the distance between us and pressed his lips hungrily against mine. I threw my arms around his neck, pulled him even closer, tangled my fingers in his hair, and kissed him back. His lips parted, and I parted mine, eager to taste him, and—
Someone behind us loudly cleared his throat.
Pulling apart, we each turned to find the bartender standing a short distance away with a tired expression on his face, backpack slung over his shoulder, arms crossed.
“Yeah, can you guys, like, do that outside or something? I just want to go home and watch Netflix with the bottle of wine I slipped into my backpack.”
Cheeks warming, I untangled my hands from Ellis’s hair and let my arms slip from his shoulders before clearing my throat and stepping back. He pushed back the strands of hair that had fallen seductively over his eyes and stepped back as well, glancing over at me before reaching into his back pocket. He pulled out a hundred and hande
d it over to the bartender.
“Sorry, man,” he said. “We’ll get out of your hair.”
I mumbled a “Thanks, dude,” and hurried after Ellis to the exit of the conference hall.
Once outside, Ellis stood on the sidewalk at the circular entrance and looked at his phone. Probably getting an Uber, I figured.
I felt a sense of sadness wash over me, mixing with the arousal that still spun around in my veins. He wasn’t going home and leaving me alone, was he? No—he couldn’t. We’d kissed. After all these years of being friends, we’d finally kissed. Somehow that kiss, even without tongue, felt more intimate than even Ellis watching me get slammed by Cade and Jamie.
“Hey.” I moved to him, fidgeting with my fingers to combat the sudden swell of nerves. “So, uh are you telling Uber to take us to my place?”
Ellis sighed, but didn’t respond. I shivered in the slight evening breeze. I held my elbows and waited for a response. Still, he didn’t speak, and my emotions grew jangled. Something wasn’t right.
“Tessa,” he finally said, stuffing his hands into his pockets and avoiding my gaze. “What I did in there…the kiss. I shouldn’t have… Ugh. Sorry, kiddo, but that was a mistake.”
His words were like a knife in my heart. “A mistake?” I asked, voice barely audible.
Ellis remained silent, kicking at invisible pebbles on the sidewalk.
“A mistake?” I repeated, feeling more and more incredulous as the word played again and again in my mind. “What do you mean, a mistake? I don’t understand. I—”
“You don’t need me to help you be brave anymore, Tessa,” Ellis said. “Look at all you’ve done these last few weeks.”
“But Ellis, that’s—”
"That was all you, Tess. All you, not me.” He stepped close to me and rested his hand on the side of my neck, thumb brushing along my cheekbone. “I kept coming to your rescue all these years, thinking you needed me. Hell, I wanted to be needed. But each time I bailed you out, I wasn’t really helping you—I was not allowing you to find your own strength.”
