by Fanny Walsh
He had begun developing feelings for her even after seeing how strong-willed and independent she was. That meant that he would never wish for, or expect, her to be quiet, dull-witted or simpering little thing. This was a great relief to her. He had shown her, and others, how sincere he was regarding his desire to protect her and keep her safe.
He had even succeeded in changing her uncle’s opinion about him with his gallant kindness with her earlier that day. She also believed that his feelings for her were genuine, so she knew she would be well-loved.
And, despite his own terrible, cold father, she believed that Duncan would be a more wonderful, loving father for her children than she could ever have hoped.
However, as happy with these thoughts as she wanted to be, Mary could not shake all her trepidation about marrying Duncan. She trusted him a great deal more now, to be sure, but she could not yet allow herself to believe that nothing would take him from her.
Despite his promise, she knew that he could not possibly foresee his guaranteed safety. No more than I can see his guaranteed peril, she thought with a sigh. She had never missed her family more than she did at that moment. If they were still with her, she could seek their advice.
She gasped as an idea came to mind.
Perhaps they could not talk to her, but she could talk to them. She called for Susan to gather a handful of flowers from the garden and began preparations to take a trip.
***
When Mary and Susan arrived at the cemetery, the sun was just beginning to slowly sink in the sky.
The carriage rolled to a stop a few feet ahead of Mary’s family’s graves, close enough to keep Mary within Susan’s line of sight, but far enough away to allow Mary a bit of privacy.
With tears already beginning to sting her eyes, she gave Susan a brave smile and exited the carriage.
Mary slowly approached her family’s tombstones, dividing the bunch of flowers Susan had selected into three separate bundles. She bent down and lovingly placed one bundle on the ground in front of each stone.
“Oh, how I miss you all,” she said, her voice breaking. She fumbled for her handkerchief and glanced around.
She chastised herself for not doing so as soon as she had stepped from the carriage. It was not proper to display grief publicly, and she did not want to draw the attention of anyone else in the cemetery.
Thankfully, she found that, at least in her immediate vicinity, she was all alone. Nevertheless, she promptly held up the handkerchief to keep her face partly shielded.
“I feel as though I am making a terrible mess of everything,” she continued, her tears falling freely now. “I am so lost and afraid without all of you.”
A wave of emotion overtook Mary, and she buried her face in the handkerchief, sobbing quietly for several moments.
When her sobs had stilled, she continued to speak.
“I want so much to make you all proud, and to marry and have the life we always believed I would,” she said. That brought her back to her earlier inner turmoil about marrying Duncan, and she smiled a little.
“A wonderful man has even proposed to me, and I have accepted.”
She hesitated, wiping her face with the cloth in her hands. “But I am so worried that something bad will happen, that we will not be as happy as he promises we can be. I wish all of you were here, so that you could help talk me through this.
“Uncle, for whatever reason, seems to despise the man, despite how kind and warm he is to me. And I love Uncle dearly and do not wish to purposely anger him, but he fails to see how happy this man makes me.”
Despite her words, she smiled as an image of Duncan’s face came to her mind. She imagined what her father would have said if he were alive for Duncan to make an offer for Mary’s hand, and she felt sure that both he and her mother would very much approve.
Another bout of emotion grabbed Mary as she thought of how her family would not see her wedding day.
“I just wish I knew what I should do,” she said.
“Perhaps I can be of some assistance,” a voice said from behind Mary. She started and turned around to see who had spoken. She found herself face to face with a priest.
“Oh, forgive me, Father. You approached so silently, you startled me.”
“I apologize, my lady. It was not my intention. Nor did I mean to eavesdrop,” he said.
“It is alright,” she said with a smile. “I was hardly whispering, so you were not exactly sneaking a listen.”
At this, the priest laughed. He bowed to Mary.
“Allow me to introduce myself,” he said. “I am Father Gary.”
Mary curtseyed.
“My name is Mary Hillington,” she said. “It is a pleasure to meet you.”
“Likewise,” he said. “Now, what is it that is troubling you?”
Mary smiled, grateful to have someone she could trust in whom to confide.
“I recently received a marriage proposal from a very kind and wonderful man,” she said. “And, in truth, I would like nothing more than for us to wed and live long, happy lives together.”
“Then, what stops you from doing just that?” Father Gary asked.
“Well,” Mary said, gesturing to the tombstones of her family. “So much tragedy has befallen my family of late, and I cannot help but fear that, should he marry me, something awful will happen to destroy the life we wish to build together.”
Father Gary smiled gently, folding his hands at his waist.
“Ah, yes. Love can be a very beautiful thing, but it can also be quite scary,” he said. “You are, by far, not the first person to fear that something terrible lurks around the corner, seeking to ruin your happiness.”
Mary looked at the priest, hope budding in her heart.
“So, it is normal to feel this way?” she asked.
“Oh, yes, quite,” Father Gary said. “In fact, it would be more concerning if you did not feel such fear. It would imply that you did not care about the man who proposed to you, or about your future together.”
“What should I do?” Mary asked, even though she was already beginning to make her decision.
“Well, I cannot tell you what you should do,” the priest began. “However, I will tell you this. Love should not be allowed to die just because you are a bit frightened now.
“In true love, and in God, you must have faith that everything will work out as it should. And, if you find true love, embrace it. Otherwise, you just may regret it for the rest of your days.”
Mary blushed at the thought of she and Duncan in love. She thought of how happy he had been when she had accepted his proposal, and of how vulnerable and emotional he had been as he explained his own fears, and her heart soared.
She did care for him, and she realized that, if Duncan was willing to set aside his own trepidations about their marriage, then she could do the same.
“Oh, Father, thank you ever so much,” she said with a wide smile.
“I am glad I could be of service,” Father Gary said with another bow. Then, he looked up at a sky which had begun to turn shades of pink and orange.
“I had better not keep you any longer,” he said. “I am sure you wish to mourn in peace and be off before dark.”
Mary smiled again, shaking her head.
“I believe I have mourned enough,” she said, looking lovingly at her family’s tombstones. “But yes, I believe I will return home before the sun sets. Thank you again, Father.”
“You are most welcome,” he said, escorting Mary to the carriage.
***
Upon her return home, Mary rushed up the stairs to her study, anxious to write to Beatrice and plan a time for the two of them to get together soon to discuss the wedding.
She also wanted to write to Duncan about seeing him again soon. While she could have written all the things she wanted to say in the letter, she wanted to say it in person.
However, as she reached the study door, she stopped. There, on the floor, was a slip of paper. M
ary frowned. Had she dropped it earlier? Did one of the servants not properly dispose of a piece of trash?
She bent down to retrieve the letter. It was not sealed in an envelope so she could see that the script in which it was written was vaguely familiar.
However, she could not determine who had penned it, though she knew that, whoever the author of the letter was, it was someone with whom she had corresponded before.
She glanced down the hall, hoping to see some indication of whoever had left the note, but with no luck. She thought that perhaps one of the servants had done it, but would they not have at least knocked and put it in her hands?
At last, she closed the door to her study and went back to her desk to unfold it. Terror struck her to her soul as she read.
You will cease your courtship with Lord Tornight at once. If you do not, his life will come to an abrupt end. Unless you wish to see him die, end any relationship you have with him, effective immediately. This is your only warning.
The letter was not signed, but Mary did not expect that it would be. Frightened and angered, she flew from her study. She hurried down the stairs, calling loudly to her butler, who rushed in immediately.
“Milady, what is wrong?” he said.
“What is the meaning of this?” she asked, holding up the note.
The butler took the page from her trembling hand, his face changing from startled confusion to pallid concern.
“I do not know, milady,” he said.
“Who was in the house while I was gone today?” she asked, her heart thumping.
“No one came calling today,” he said. “At least, not that I was aware of.”
Two footmen, overhearing the commotion, entered the foyer.
“Did anyone enter or leave today while I was out?” she asked them, again brandishing the letter.
The two men looked at one another, wearing identical expressions of bewilderment.
“No one came calling today, milady,” the first footman said. “At least, no one we saw.”
“What has happened?” asked the second.
Mary, seeing the genuine confusion and growing fear on her servants’ faces, dropped the hand holding the letter by her side. She tried to give them a small smile, feeling foolish for having accused them of knowing something about the letter’s existence.
“Forgive me,” she said. “It is just that someone left this terrible letter outside of my study door.
“We will check the house for intruders,” the butler said at once, motioning to the footmen to follow.
The footmen exchanged alarmed glances but followed behind the butler. Susan, who had also heard the ruckus and come running, escorted Mary into the parlor and sat with her.
About half an hour later, the three men returned, their faces solemn.
“No trace of anyone, milady,” the butler said. “Nor were there signs of a break-in.”
Her heart fell. This was exactly what she had feared when Duncan had kissed her. She did not understand why someone seemed so determined to take away everyone she ever loved, but the message before her was quite clear: if she continued to see Duncan, he, too would die.
And on top of that, someone had invaded her home to deliver the horrible note and managed to escape without being spotted. Mary shivered, suddenly feeling unsafe in her own home.
Neither she nor the servants spoke for what felt like hours. At last, she dismissed all of them except Susan, who she asked to escort her to, and sit with her in, her study. Even though the butler and footmen had found no intruder, the taint of the invasion lingered in the air, and she did not want to be alone.
Once inside the room, she collapsed in the chair. Susan poured Mary a tumbler of the brandy her father used to drink before taking her own seat beside Mary. Mary took the glass gratefully with a trembling hand.
Distraught, Mary knew that there was but one thing she could do. She must try to convince Duncan that she had to break off their engagement. She began penning a letter to him, struggling to see the page and the words she was writing through her tear-blurred vision.
She would rather end her relationship with Duncan than to watch him die, as well. At least she would know he was alive and well, even if she could not be married to him.
At once, she realized that she had made a mistake. She had told him of the letter she received, and she knew that such an error could be just as dangerous to him as his betrothal to her. She crumpled up the sheet of paper, sobbing, and retrieved another.
By now, her tears were falling hard and fast all over the page. She tried to write a vaguer explanation, but the tears quickly began dissolving the new sheet.
Time after time, sheet after sheet, she failed to complete her letter to Duncan. This made her tears fall faster, because every moment she spent unable to cancel their engagement was one more moment that Duncan was in grave danger.
After many ruined sheets of paper and incomplete letters, despair overtook her. Exasperated, exhausted and frightened, she folded her arms on the top of her desk, rested her forehead on them, and allowed her tears to overtake her.
Chapter 24
Duncan was sitting at his desk in his office when the mail came. He had not heard from Mary since she had left his office after the fire in the teahouse, so he was elated to find a letter from her.
He tossed the rest of the stack of envelopes to one side of his desk and eagerly tore open hers.
At first, he had trouble making out the words. The page appeared to be stained with water droplets, and he wondered if the mail carrier had allowed the letter to become water damaged.
Duncan picked up his reading glasses and studied the letter more carefully. His heart fell as he read.
According to the letter, Mary was breaking off their engagement. Worse still, she had asked him to never again contact her. He read the note repeatedly, hoping to decipher the reason somewhere on the blurred page.
However, her words were very vague, and the letter itself did not appear complete. In fact, she had not even signed it. He only knew that it was from her because of the address on the envelope and the handwriting of the note itself.
Duncan dropped the letter on his desk, his heart broken. What could have made her change her mind so suddenly?
He knew that she had been fearful for his life, but when she had left his office that day, he felt sure that he had allayed her fears and that she had still wanted to marry him. Now, it seemed as if she was giving in to her fear and did not wish to even see him ever again.
And, since she did not wish for him to contact her, he could not make an effort to reassure her that everything would be fine, just as he said.
However, this letter worried him most because of her leg. He stood no chance of being able to help her with the procedure if she would not even agree to see him.
Duncan inspected both the letter and the envelope. He noticed that that, while the letter had water stains, the envelop did not. He then realized that it was not water spotting the page, but tear stains.
This worried him even more. Why would she write to him breaking their engagement while crying?
Duncan decided to make a trip to Mary’s house. At least in person, she would have to tell him the reason for her sudden change of heart. However, he stopped just before he called for a carriage.
What if Mary refused to see him when he arrived? What if his presence caused more pain and grief for Mary for some reason?
After a lengthy internal struggle, Duncan decided against visiting Mary at her home. He did, however, decide to take a holiday, which is something he rarely did.
In fact, whenever he dismissed his staff and told them to take off for a few days, they looked amongst one another apprehensively.
“Is everything alright, doctor?” his nurse asked. He simply nodded and dismissed her with a wave of his hand.
“I will notify you of my return. Until then, go home and enjoy your holiday,” he said gruffly.
He felt guilty for treating his
staff so harshly, since they had always been such faithful and loyal employees. However, he could not think of that just then; he was too distraught over Mary’s letter.
Duncan went home and immediately began preparations to depart for his friend Julius’s estate. He briefly considered waiting until the following day, so that he could write to him and announce his impending visit. However, his emotions were in utter turmoil, and he knew that Julius would receive him happily, even without advance notice.
It was still early enough in the day that he would arrive at Julius’s home before nightfall. So, he had his servants bring around his carriage while he quickly packed the things he would need.
