It will be perplexing to our-lives, oppressive-to purpose and yet, true to intention… The enabling, awareness and willingness, of my man’s full-effort. I know he has put himself into an unfavorable-situation yet I have assisted-him in this affect; now as ever he must turn-away and base choices on-sensible, secure and sustainable, significance. I have seen men in the poor-house in an emaciated-state; whom once were doctors, store-owners and businessmen. Honorable-citizens, caught-up till they were penniless, family-less and at life’s end… Wasting-away, never-fully in-control of themselves. It seemed they were only receiving-grace through other’s support and generosity, or they’d be dead.
I am beginning to understand that poverty is based, only on the surrender to demise. The speculators adorned with immense-wealth, power and privilege owe-to confidence, than implication… Perhaps gold is a foolish man’s investment, that eats him, alive; while easing him-into acceptance, of his fate. I believe it is a disease of sober-men, lost in a night-mare of the new-frontier… I have never seen men totally, separated in-unreason from rationality; for the function of men in this deeded-country first was-to free themselves from tyranny, not resolved to feed-it…
June 6, 1853,
Our California territory celebrates its 70th anniversary of discovery. The Spanish-founders and natives named-it, in the name of Spain. Many of the natives now displaced, have left and died. The Spaniards established-forts for monks enslaving natives over gold, land and power, eventually owned by France and sold to the U.S.A. I am proud of this land yet the things sustaining this region have laid-to exhaustion in people-bondage and power; all in the name of ‘golden-slavery‘. We are people of a great-country. A supreme-honor goes with this land. Bounty, beauty and treasures beyond beliefs; and anointed with God’s Own Hand… A people-free and strong yet the petty-desires of greed bound, ate and oppressed good-men and perished, those in honesty-loved, honored and sacrificed…
So ludicrous, it’s as if the great-possibilities, were over-weighed by hopeless impossibility. Immersed and shackled-down, men have become fools offering their soul to abate, the crazed-lie of insanity and illogic. Though I do not judge them, I adjoin to them-by God in the hope and promise they will not be damned-by frivolous depression, gamble and falter… But men and their families are supported, in the hope some will overcome, and survive against, this seeded-evil. Though I pray beseechingly, for hope, honor and faith I know some will not-recover. The promise is too, great. My friend Mrs. Calvin intimately, thrusts herself at the motions of maligning, men; derogated to absolving-themselves with greed and sucking others of only, poor-sums and risky-lies. She adorns the shield of piety, devotion and supports those whom are shamed, intolerant and blamed… She is our ‘saint’; in these times-of-deceit. I will spend many-hours beside this woman and wish for her diligence, faith and bravery. Though I have times of discouragement and fearful-doubt I will foster times-and-endurances hopefully, to lift an ominous load; disparaging men’s souls.
I have attested to men’s souls abandoning the maelstrom of faults and hopingly, swelch in-relevancy. Through my Will, I will try to understand and by-love, grasped the extent the depths inviting-men to forfeit for illusive, fame… Will is a strong-hardworking, brave-man yet filtering-through him is the fester of plight which I fight everyday with love, trust and devotion. Perhaps the Lord has put me here to commit myself to help those who can not and may, not help themselves…I watch my Will, and other men though, unknowing-need and cry for help, through those times of trial, decision and doubt… Gathered-in, all the silent-cry for understanding, come-passion and support of which all are entitled… It is my best-interest to abide, by my family, my husband and the care& welfare of my two-children who have been put on earth, as blessing…
January 8, 1855
Dear Diary,
I have bore a second-beautiful boy; Zachary Todd Seamus, on Saturday. He is a handsome red-haired, man-child. He has green-eyes and a strong-grip and he is big-8- pounds ten ounces. His cry is strong and resonating. In his first-breaths you could hear the Gaelic-braw of his Irish-blood, I dare not quiet the child, as he is a beneficent-child who demands milk and sleeps quiet-in God’s Arms. Zack is immensely, bold and vibrant-anointed, indignant and emboldened with heir-destiny. He laughs when his sister-plays with him. I can not keep them-apart, Sarah loves him and in her young-years she comforts her brother, and protects him. At times, they speak to each-other in their own-language. I am grateful and blessed, by so much love and joy. Will has been patient with his three-offspring. Though he now works as an excavator for city expansion.
Crime, violence and poverty have grown. A town-council committee-man has wanted to purchase Will’s 250-acres yet his family has never given-up land, willingly. His family were serfs, over dozens of generations he is hard-pressed to give-up, pure and sweet-land for dwelling on sequestered city-property; I understand he has adapted so well to accept-less, earn a living and support his-wife and children. I have read letters from his brothers asking him, to come visit. Even though it would be a month’s voyage by boat, he tells them to save it for other things. I hear his family back East is now rich, not needing money yet his stern, hard-life will not spend a vain, penny. He has told me of times with his-family; they are immensely, clever and sounder than my French tales though impending. Will’s logic is so deep and profound-I and the children sit amazed by the strength, intenseness and opining, pragmatism. Yet in the quiet, grows immersed-in the exquisite, impression. …Divided, though I am about his tolling-investment in the finding-of-gold…
He has to protect, his dig-property and spends much of his time looking-out for thieves, Charlatans and jumpers… This last-one is a constant-problem written up in the San Francisco Times… Jumper-gangs are rampant in these territories since Sutter’s Mill. They coerce, kill and conceal the rightful-owners claim and take possession then if no gold is found they sell it and claim their ill-gotten booty. In response the territorial-governor has issued Marshals to protect, defend and insure the true land-owner’s place. Yet some have deserted or haven’t the means to carry-on in proper-authority.
The rich still hold-power in this disputed, money-grubbing… Some remaining, have hired-protectors yet few, hold against the might of ‘superior-forces’. Some have disappeared, found hanged or beaten so badly they refuse to charge their culprits. But brave-men and women stand-up against greater-forces to see, these vile-men put behind bars. This incredible, bravery has some, astonished and assist-them, whole-heartedly… We, women earned our-part, in the upholding of law. Mrs. Calvin a true-tigress, pulls tooth and nail to see that these deceitful men are brought to justice at any cost. Men and women have rallied around-her…
February 11, 1856,
Baumgartner, Zack and Sarah walked with me to church this morning. My young-men were all of 22, and 38 months their red-hair was thick like their-Dad, each acts like their father as I combed-it. Though Will has come to church on Easter and Christmas he is a proud, industrious good-man who follows his-heart. I keep a close-eye on him though, he is not-aware. One of the boys from town goes down and brings him Lager which I secretly, have him inform me, of his actions. Though hindering of things out-there, impede his circumstance of the work by a diligent-man keeps straight his drive-to overcome.
~~April 12 1858,
Cholera, is heading West through travelers. The news has said many have died on route or after joining the train in-Colorado, has seen the worst of it with droves of people dying, and sick. So much so that they have quarantined-entire cities; and Colorado Springs has forbidden travel into and out-of-the-area. New-routes has been established, natives and foreigners can-not enter on ‘threat’ of being-shot or imprisoned-steps have been taken to help cities threatened, by disease. Many of the women have organized a taskforce to assist-those affected with clothing, food and medicine, as well as helping-hands. Some of the nurses from Stitamore Nursing Academy of San Bernard
ino have come to affected-sites and those beginning, break-outs; supervising insurgence, head-off the infection. Precautions have been handed-out to anyone, asking for-it… Anyone, affected has been told to stay in-doors and send for professional, public-nursing… I have joined this cavalcade of the sickness-fighters; I have learnt from the local-symposium; funded-by Mrs. Calvin’s generosity. She has visited and trained-others on how to battle this, outbreak. Teaching skillfully, in classes, she tells us that the worse-thing we can do is to haste, fear and hide…
My babies are kept by a mutual-friend; trained-to deal with illness, avoid-problems and have child-rearing skills. Adamant thought I am, I trust Ms. Jenkins though young-of-years, she shows no fear-of infection, is tolerating and encouraging; and has a true-love for the young. They listen and speak to her; and little Sarah learns fast from her intimate-kindness. She demonstrates a caring, I appreciate. Her schooling, is very-good… I am inspired, from such devotion, dedication and diligence. I need-only her taking-charge, while away… The new-threat and need for my-assistance to my home-and-town, has rallied-others to heal those who might die in suffering; which could keep-it from taking, others.
I have told Will to remain with the children and see that the young-lady receives all, she needs. Will understands that I am needed, for the over-all good. His hardy, spirit and deep, bravery was held-back owning the immensely, true; in what is right. Empowered, though I am by conviction, duty and cause; I accept that what I do is for the greatest-good of all. Dangerous-men lurk, but if we do-not battle-it, on its terms, we may all-perish…
~~~
I leave, this morning. The sun of California’s Spring has granted our group warmth, blue-skies and nice-weather; to guide us to the Cry of Napa Valley; the closest break-out are our-leader Mrs. Calvin has prepared us; from nursing-equipment to hygiene-procedure, and patient-care… We have with-us clothing, blankets, shoes and sheets and towels; along-with tents, cots and food; to feed a hundred provided-by donations of most, of Los Angeles-province… We will-arrive in eight-days time, are director has sent boys, ahead to announce the coming-reinforcements. This is truly, a calling of God. I will carry-out His mission.
August 29, 1859
My William is working, in the field; farming not-shoveling… The fever, is subsiding the gold-keepers, once on every town-street, has dried-up. Barons are now citizen-gentries bringing-workers to build, not buy land but creating-wages for anyone who’d work… After murder and wild-crimes; the city-council has installed fair-men, trained in-duty and respect. Lawyers and attorneys; once nonexistent, now have several shingles up for all to see. Some of the nurses from the epidemic have established a clinic and pay a doctor for his services. Yet with new modern-advances laws of man-kind has been posted to treat the new-workers’ property…
Many town-folk are simple and uneducated, they have few-avenues to give virtue-to-enact, a worthwhile-acceptance. As an aspect of the new skill-improvements of commerce, growth and population; once, needed and accepted during the gold-rush; prices, have risen to try and keep pace… Milk, sugar and flour cost three-times as much as other-places. My Will is trying to-provide for his family, he still has hopes that his-strike, will be soon; he has even hired a boy. From the public-orphanage. The boy is willing, confident and smart. Our children, also are having-needs; Sarah, is requiring constant-attention. She’s growing-older and tries to get-into everything… Her rambunctiousness is so that one has to have a vigilant eye and ear. It will be a little while, before she will need-schooling. And Zack is strong-willed, attaining a growth of constantly, guided time-and-care.
Dear Diary,
My mother has died; in a letter from my sisters along-with my father, who has sold his tailor-shop and moved-to Marseille… My sister says he has suffered a heart-attack from constant-work, in his old age. My sisters; all married and moved-on. Say he requires constant-observation, my youngest-sister wishes to visit, on the east-coast to see America. She has matured and has remarried a wealthy, businessman. He wants to meet with possible, associates. She says he has traveled-to America, with his father as well. She does not understand that they are across the country, from I. I will asks my Will, if I can use some personal-funds and rendezvous in Boston, by ship. I am astonished by the change-of-things. I have no childhood home, all I had does not exist anymore. I will press-on to be able to see my sister in Massachusetts, I can be there in three months with some of the newly, built engine-ships. They come into L.A. harbor, when we’d vacation by the sea. I must prepare my travel-protocol and depart by-May…
Mrs. Calvin’s daughter, Emelda, has returned from college and plans to open a dry-goods for women, whom are tired of high-price, galging… She has already set-up and has a planned-site under-construction. She says there will be jobs and more variety of essentials. Dorothy, our care-giver is to be married and will live in Los Angeles city. Her husband is an attorney’s clerk and plans work with an agency. My friend’s from the trek, have flourished and went their separate-ways. Yet many of the people who once arrived several-years ago have abandoned-hope. Bankrupt, alone-forgotten some are paupers, others imprisoned for thievery and a-few, lost. Trying to return East. The trek has broken many lives with quite a-few indentures, in virtual-demise.
The Parker family, my-friends who sheltered me and whom I will never forget, have forever been changed… The patriarch after opening a store, drank himself to death. While his wife has had affairs and caught venereal-fever. Their three daughters all survived, but only one still lives in the area and is divorced; she works as a stock-clerk and stays to herself. After the Cholera epidemic, reconstruction-growth; those for gold, left as fast for other booming-places… Prosperity has returned yet our small-town has weathered well; with dignity, pride and a sense-of-union. Development, has been through a design-of-community. Those in good-deeds, were supported by intent and worthy, refrain-standing with obliging-objectives… Many are saying the city of Los Angeles is going to be a large-metropolis, sprawling with new-travelers, one-day…
New-inventions, entrepreneurs, and investors are increasing, everyday. It is no-wonder the face of people, have changed. Once a trailing-of-pioneers, to settle vast-territory a rugged-terrain with hopes of making-life and achieving, happiness; with hard-work and wholly life-saving are now the wealth, easy-minded and conscientious taskmasters trained in taking advantage-of-things, proper and the goal-minded, good… There hiring-people and proving-success without the once, earthy-resolve. They are what I call ‘Prime d’Etre’ they are planners and achievers, divided-by goals, success and development. Some-say in five years the city will be immensely, prosperous…
With the new-movement money is changing hand’s quietly. Land-governance, is becoming greater and stewardship, is growing… Where once ownership, as a vastly, individual-act the process is relegated-by rule, alliance and priority. This is done-through the security of monies, access and privilege. The laws, the doctrine that California property-estate should be; regulated, and imported…
I and Will, are fortunate during the time-of-arrival; land-grants were many, so ownership was free… Many holders-of-property today, is worth many times the original-purchase. We are not-selling any of our estate, to buyer-speculation. Though the price, is quite high we have not want for money, which changes hands, quickly. When I look at the great-valley, in which we live are the hardy and charming, elegance and serenity; which we, before the gold-rush there was so much more than monetary, riches. In this bounty our three-children will thrive. In the fine and strong-strength of the men I love and his truly honorable, heritage…
Spain has declared war on England. And the former-occupier of this territory; it is said, will attempt to gain-control of this-city. The news has spread, the regiment and more are moving North from Mexico city. American-men are readying for a battle and heading-off to the fight. They are in skirmish with the Texans, slain at the Alamo. The eventful cost-of
-war, has laid many to death and it is said money and power are of the roots, of Spain’s blood.
End
Four
Diary, October 28, 1859
I am troubled-over my family’s welfare. Although, it has been several months since. I’ve last written, I have beaten-it out as I could… I have been very, satisfied with my life. My children, are the love on my life intertwining-me with love in abundance-and ever a-joy, and little Bau, my prime-of-delight whom I see growing fast like his Daddy a supremely, honorable and loyal child-of-six. Although, my children-are beyond any regrets. But he so diligently, adoring everyone of them with fatherly, attention-support and caring. He walks little Patty to class every day, before work and arrives home, tired still kisses them and inquire into their-welfare. Yet in the autumn-of-the-year, as the clouds take-hold and rains keep us confined, I wonder what they will do one-day; our town is in normal-occurrence, I fight to understand why such a quaint-town, could draw such inundating of severe-aspects. Drunks roam free, after; work and shootings happen everyday with men jailed-over simplest-intoxication… Prostitution, gambling and thieves, occur. Often, with commonness. Children, are being taught everyday to pick-pocket, deceive and outwit the average-citizen. Hoodlums think of things, imagined-to undermine the goodness found-in, our community.
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