His jaw grinds, “I don’t know.”
This time I manage to pull away from him. “Sax,” I whisper, “you’re an asshole. You truly are.”
He nods as he gets to his feet. “I never said I wasn’t, baby. But I’m your fucking asshole, always have been and always will be.”
God, why does he have to say things like that?
“Don’t you see how fucked up that is?”
He shakes his head. “It didn’t happen though, Bri. So why the hell are you so worked up? You’re the only woman I’m ever going to have kids with.”
He doesn’t get it. I don’t think he ever will. Maybe I’m overreacting?
“Sloane doesn’t know that you’re home. I’ll talk to her and then set up a date for you to meet her.”
He takes a step closer to me and I take one back, I need a clear head. Anytime he touches me I lose all coherent thoughts.
“I just wanted you to know about Sloane before you found out from someone else. I wouldn’t—couldn’t do that to you,” I say softly, knowing that I could never purposely hurt him.
He gives me his grin, the one that makes me weak in my knees; my mom used to call it his bad boy grin. She knew how much I loved him and how devastated I was when he left. Losing them both hurt me deeply, it’s something I don’t think I’ve recovered from even to this day.
“You’re still the same, Bri, still the same girl that wanted the best for me. No matter what I did,” he says low and it’s a direct hit, not that he meant it in a bad way.
“Yeah, that’s me, a doormat.” I shift on my feet as his gaze collides with mine, his eyes are darker than they had been, his jaw set tight as he stares at me. “I came here to tell you about Sloane, I’ve done that. Now, I’m going to go home.” I shrug, “I guess, I’ll see you around, Sax.”
I turn to leave, but his hand clamps around my wrist and he pulls me to a stop. “Firstly, you’re not a fucking doormat, you never were and never will be. I didn’t mean it like that and you damn well know it. You love me, Bri, just as I love you. We’ve always been drawn to each other. Like a moth to a flame. You’re it for me, Briar, and I can’t let you walk away without fighting.”
I take a deep breath, now isn’t the time for this. “Second?” He blinks at my words, his brows furrowing. “You said firstly, I assume there’s a second point you want to make?” I elaborate.
“Secondly, we’re nowhere near done.” He slams his mouth down against mine and it’s like coming home. His fingers tangle in my hair and he tugs causing me to gasp. He takes advantage of my open mouth and sweeps his tongue in. I close my eyes and give into the kiss. I’ve missed him, God, I’ve missed him so damned much. Our tongues caress each other and I melt against him.
He pulls away and rests his forehead against mine. “Always you, baby, it’s always, only you.”
“What?” I breathe, unable to clear the lust-filled fog that’s taken over me.
“It’s never been like this with anyone else. Only you, Bri. It’s always been you.”
His words are like a bucket of ice cold water. I pull away from him. “God, what the hell am I doing?” I mutter disgustedly to myself.
“Briar?” he questions, his eyes searching my face.
I shake my head. “I can’t do this, Sax,” I whisper.
“Just give us a chance,” he pleads and I hate that he’s begging.
“I can’t.” Tears sting my eyes. “You broke me. I gave you everything I had and you threw it away. You betrayed me, even though I never thought you would. I loved you so much. I would have done anything for you, but you slept with Lila. She may not have been pregnant, but you still betrayed me.” The tears fall freely and I need to get out of here. I need space.
“Fuck, Bri. I’m so fucking sorry, I know that I made a mistake. I promise you, I’m going to make amends. I’m going to show you just how much I love you, how much you mean to me.” He sounds close to tears.
This is my time to leave, I know if I see a tear, I’ll give in to him. I can’t do that.
“I don’t think you can fix what’s been broken, Sax.” I lean forward and kiss his cheek, “I’ll see you soon.” I walk away and out of Brax’s house, I close the door behind me and suck in a sharp breath.
“How did it go?” Brax’s voice calls out and I look up and see him leaning against his car.
I walk toward him, “Have you been waiting here the entire time?”
He smiles at me and I return it. “Yeah, I wanted to be close just in case you needed me.”
“God, you’re the best,” I tell him as I walk into his embrace.
“How are you doing, really?” he asks softly.
“I don’t know. Seeing him again, I realized just how much I love him. Those feelings never went away.” The door behind me opens and I know that Sax has come out. I pull away from Brax and look him in the eyes, “I may still love him, Brax, but the hurt and anger is still there and I can’t see a way to push through it.”
“Those feelings won’t disappear overnight, just give it time. How did he take the news about Sloane?”
I smile, “He can’t wait to meet her. I’m so happy for her, Brax, she’s been wanting this her entire life.”
He nods, “When are you going to tell her?”
“I’m not sure yet, I know it’s selfish, but I think I need to come to terms with it first. It’s been Sloane and I for so long. That’s all going to change now.”
He glances behind me and I stiffen. It’s time to go, I don’t want to talk to Sax anymore tonight. “You have every right to feel that way, Bri. You’ve dealt with the shitty way people have spoken to you for being a single mom, the way you’ve had to deal with those motherfucking Hart’s and the bullshit they’ve brought you because of my brother. But mostly, Bri, you’ve clawed your way back from the brink and you haven’t fully recovered.”
God, he’s right. It’s been one thing after another and I’ve just dealt with the punches that have come my way.
“Are you coming for breakfast?” I ask him, it’s our usual routine; Brax, Brandon, Sloane, and I have breakfast every morning. Have since she was a baby.
He smiles at me, “Like I’d be anywhere else.”
“I’ll see you then,” I tell him and walk away, it’s time to go home and no doubt be grilled by Brandon.
“Just be careful, Bri,” Brandon warns me. “I won’t let that asshole hurt you again.” His anger is coming to the forefront. “I’ve kept my mouth shut about him, because I knew that you loved him. But the devastation you felt when he left, I won’t let it happen again.”
We’re sitting in the sitting room, I’m on the sofa and Bran’s on the armchair. He’s pissed and I totally understand why. I’m his little sister and he hates to see me hurting. His gaze narrowed in on my puffy eyes when I walked into the house. I tried to keep the tears at bay, but they wouldn’t stop cascading down my face.
Walking away from Sax tonight was the right thing to do. I need to put distance between us and sort my head out.
“I know,” I whisper. He’s the only one that knows how bad things got, especially after mom died.
“I can’t go through it again, Bri, you can’t.”
I swallow down the tears, “I’m so fucking scared, Bran, so scared. What if he meets Sloane but walks away?” That’s my ultimate fear, my daughter is my world, I won’t let anyone hurt her.
Brandon sighs, “It’s a risk you’re going to have to take. This is what you have always wanted. Saxon to get to know his daughter. Sloane loves hard, just as you do. She’s going to make the transition for him smooth and easy.”
She really will, she’s the sweetest girl. Bran’s right, she loves everyone and is quick to smile.
“It’s going to be okay,” he promises as he comes to sit beside me, his arms wrapping around me. “As much as I hate to say this, if you love him, Bri, then maybe you need to give him another chance.” I know how much that must pain him to say that to me. Sax isn’t Bran�
�s favorite person.
“I’m not sure I can get over him cheating on me. I’m not ready to forgive him for leaving.”
I’m not sure that I’ll be able to forgive him for leaving.
“Just don’t close off the idea.” A heavy sigh escapes him, “Think of it this way, Bri, if you don’t want him, then someone else will. You’re going to have to see him with someone else.”
The pain that rips through me at the thought of him with someone else is unbearable.
“Yeah, I thought as much. Don’t throw it away over something that happened years ago. It’s been five years, Bri.”
“Bran…” I whisper. I’m scared. So fucking scared.
“I know, but I’m not telling you to rush into anything. I’m saying, just don’t close yourself off to the possibility.”
I rest my head against his chest. “I’ll get to know him again. I’ve missed my best friend.”
He kisses the back of my head. “I know, Bri. I know.”
“I love you, Bran.”
His arms tighten around me. “I love you too. I’m going to be here, no matter what happens, I’m going to be here for you.”
I relax a little, I have him and Sloane, no matter what happens, my family is going to be here. I just hope that Sax doesn’t hurt us.
“What the fuck is going on between you and Bri?” I ask Brax when Briar walks away. It took every ounce of control I have not to pull his arms off her. I know that it wouldn’t have gone down well with her, she’s already doubting me, doubting us. What we had five years ago was real, I fucked it up, but I want it back. I want her back and I want our daughter.
“Bro, do you really think I’d do that to you?” He glares at me like I’m an asshole. Yet he’s the one that’s cozying up to my fucking woman.
“I don’t know what the hell to think. I come home and you two are tight, a lot closer than you should be.”
He shakes his head. “You’re an asshole. Bri, is like a sister to me. Fuck, man. Your daughter is my niece, I’ve been a part of her life since she was born, before that. When Bri was pregnant, she needed help and I was here to offer her that and support. She lost her mom, Sax, her fucking mom and you weren’t here. She was dealing with enough and she needed a friend.”
I scoff, “A friend, yeah, right.”
He snarls at me, “Yeah a fucking friend. You have no idea what the hell has happened since you disappeared. That girl you left behind, she’s gone, Sax. She’s not coming back.”
My jaw clenches at his words.
“You shattered that girl and then when her mom died, she really thought you’d come back. When you didn’t, it broke her. Losing two people she loved destroyed her. I don’t think I saw her for three months, maybe longer. She wouldn’t leave the house. She was fucked up and finding out about Sloane, it brought her back,” he tells me, as he walks back into the house.
Hearing him say how she was when I left kills me. I need to find out how bad it got. I know that the only way I’m going to do that is to talk to Brandon.
I follow him into the house. “How badly does Bran want to kill me?” I ask and wince. If I had a sister and someone hurt her the way I did Bri, I’d kill them.
Brax laughs, “I’d steer clear of him, he’s not said anything, but he’s fiercely protective of Bri and Sloane.” He grins at me, “Did you ask Bri why she named your daughter Sloane?”
I frown, no, I never. “Spill.”
His grin widens, “She named her Sloane Bray Dayton.”
My heart practically bursts, she gave her my surname.
“She gave her the name Bray after Brandon and I, she said she couldn’t pick between us both and made a compromise.” No wonder he’s grinning so much. “But she wanted Sloane to have your name too. Her words were, if you weren’t there, she wanted her daughter to have you with her always.”
Fuck. Totally Bri.
It clicks. “She took Sloane from my middle name,” I say and smile. Loving that as much as she hates me, she still cares. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t have called her Sloane.
Brax shakes his head, “What the hell was Ma thinking when she named us? Braxton Billings and Saxon Stalone.”
His smile dies. “Bro, did you and Bri talk about anything other than Sloane?”
My anger comes back. “Yeah, she told me that fucking bitch lied about being pregnant.”
His eyes flash with rage. “Bro, you have no idea the shit that came when you left. That fucking bitch made out that Briar was a homewrecker, that she was the reason you left.”
“What the fuck?”
He shakes his head. “Yeah, half the town went against Bri, thought she had demanded that you wouldn’t go near Lila or the baby. Then it finally came out that Lila was lying, but the damage was already done.”
“Shit, what the hell is Lila’s problem?”
He sighs as he takes a seat on the sofa, “I’ve no idea, but things got worse when it came out that Bri was pregnant. Even to this day, she’s shunned.”
I ball my fists up. “What the actual fuck?”
“Sax, she was seventeen when she got pregnant, you were eighteen and you left. She was alone, there’s only so much Bran and I can shield her from. She’s been subject to abuse from Lila. Hell the entire Hart family have tried having her fired from her job.”
I close my eyes, fuck, this is all my fault. I need to fix this.
“Where is she working?” I ask, trying to take my thoughts away from murdering those motherfucking Harts.
“The Wine Cellar. She’s been a waitress there since she had Sloane. She mostly works the daytime shifts, but sometimes she has to work nights.”
She shouldn’t be fucking working there. She should be at college doing what she always wanted to do, be a nurse.
“I didn’t know any of this shit,” I mutter. If I had, I would have come home long before now. I glance at my brother and my anger starts to surface. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me about any of this?” I demand through gritted teeth.
“If you had listened to me whenever I mentioned Bri’s name or even fucking Lila’s you would have known what the hell has been happening.” The anger in his voice takes me by surprise. “I tried fucking telling you.”
“You should have fucking tried harder!” I yell. “Her fucking mom died, Brax, I should have been here.”
He shakes his head at me, “I tried fucking telling you. You hung up on me when I told you that your ass needed to come home.”
I grit my teeth. “Asshole, had you actually told me instead of the bullshit, things would have been different. God, I have a fucking daughter. You should have told me!” My chest is rising and falling rapidly and it’s taking every ounce of control not to go to him and pound him into the ground. I’ve missed so fucking much.
Any mention of Briar sent me spiraling. I was no good for her, I knew that, fuck I know that now, but back then she deserved better. Only hearing about her made me miss her even more than I already did. I was stupid. A fucking idiot. I thought out of sight was out of mind, boy was I wrong. I made mistakes, more than I probably could ever make right, but I’m going to try.
“You’re an asshole, Sax; the only one to blame is yourself.” He shakes his head at me in disgust. “It’s all about you. Did you even take a moment to think about what it was like for Bri? No, you’ll never know. You don’t deserve her. She fucking loves you, always has and always will.”
“I’m going to make this better,” I vow. I’m not giving up. Hell fucking no.
He’s silent for a moment. “I’m not sure if you can.”
“I sure as shit hope that’s not the case. I’m not giving up on her. I love her. I always have.”
He nods, “I know you do. She loves you. But, Sax, you broke her. That’s not going to be an easy fix.”
“I don't give a shit, Bri is mine and I’m going to make everything okay.”
He smiles, “Good. Are you going to see Ma now that you’re here?”
�
��You make it sound as though I’m only here for a few weeks. I’m not leaving. As for Ma, is she still with that fuck head?”
He smirks, “Yep, she’s never going to leave.”
“Then, no, I’m not going to see her. Do they know about Sloane?” He nods. “Has she been to see her?”
His jaw clenches. “No and not once have they asked about her either.”
“Then that’s enough reason to not go fucking near them.”
“Okay, now, I have a question for you, something that’s been playing on my mind. How much do you remember about the night with Lila?”
I scowl at him, “Nothing.”
“Yeah, that’s what Briar said.” He shakes his head. “Listen to me, yeah?” he says quietly and I brace, but nod. What the fuck? “Lila lied about being pregnant, she made it clear that she wanted you and that she’d do whatever it took to get you. That meant getting Briar out of the way. What if you two never actually had sex, but she made it out to look as though you did?”
“FUCK!” I roar, I never even thought of that. “I don’t know, Brax. I was fucked up that night, I have no idea if I did or not.”
“You’re going to have to find out,” he tells me.
“I’m not going near the bitch. Can you imagine how Bri will feel when she hears that I was seen with Lila? That’s not going to happen.” I’m not going to hurt Bri, never again.
“I’m not stupid, I know what this town is like. She’d know within seconds, and you know Lila would flaunt it. I’m telling you to talk to Bri, explain what we suspect and that you want the truth. That way she knows that she can trust you.”
He’s right, I need to talk to Bri, there’s a lot that we have to discuss.
Briar
“Morning, baby,” I call out as Sloane skips into the hall. I’m making breakfast for everyone. It’s pancakes this morning. Brandon and Sloane are going to be happy.
“Mama, I’m not a baby,” she cries as she stamps her foot; we have the same conversation every morning, she’ll always be my baby no matter how old she gets. “Mama, is Brax coming for breakfast?”
Bad Boy (The All American Boy Series) Page 3
