by Guy Morpuss
•
Mont Tremblant was all that Emily had promised, and more. Alex had booked her a suite looking out over the lake, complete with a deck down to the waterfront. They sat watching the sun setting over the rolling hills, as the leaves turned from orange to gold to red. As the first stars began to appear and the temperature dropped, Emily snuggled into him.
‘This is stunning,’ Alex said. ‘So are you. You know I …’ He hesitated. He’d never told her he loved her. Should he? What if she didn’t say it back to him? He waited too long and bottled it. ‘You know I think you’re amazing.’
She smiled. ‘Your chat-up lines may be clumsy, but at least I know you mean them.’ She sighed contentedly. ‘It’s even better from the top of the mountain. It’s a shame you can’t see it, but the cable-car stops at four.’
‘Is that what you did this morning?’ he asked.
‘Yes. Got the cable-car up and walked back down. It’s so peaceful.’
‘Did you see any of the others?’ Alex had booked himself a rather less-spectacular room on the other side of the hotel. He’d explained to Emily that they needed their own room for when he was not there. He was conscious of the fact that this was the first time that they were all in close proximity, and that she might see ‘him’ when in fact it was one of the others.
‘I saw you – no, I saw Mike, I guess, from a distance on one of the trails. It looked like he had run up and down the mountain. I ducked into the trees until he was gone.’
Alex had known that already.
Almost bumped into your girl this morning, Al. You’ve done well there. She’s hot! And don’t worry what Sierra says – she isn’t Kate. M.
‘Are you all right with that?’ Alex asked. ‘This is the first time we’ve had whole days together, and I can’t be with you.’
‘I think so.’ She shrugged. ‘I don’t know. This is better than I could ever have imagined, but then suddenly you’re gone. In Montreal it doesn’t matter. I have college, I have my job, and I have my four-hour boyfriend, so I can devote myself completely to each. Does that sound cold? Four-hour boyfriend?’
‘Not to me. That’s the most I can ever be. Talking of which, your four-hour boyfriend has less than two hours left. There are other things we could be devoting our time to …’
She smiled. ‘Let’s make the most of it then.’ She let him take her hand and lead her inside.
Later, as he was getting dressed, she stirred and reached for him.
‘Do you have to go already?’
‘Yes. I need to be back in my room in ten minutes.’ He was loving this, but having to leave her was killing him. ‘Don’t wake. I’ll see you tomorrow.’
She yawned. ‘It’s such a shame. This place is so beautiful and I don’t get to see it all with you.’
He didn’t react. He didn’t want her to know, but he felt a stab of panic. Emily hadn’t said it yet, but was this the regret that was going to come between them? Were all schizo relationships doomed because of this?
He kissed her, resisted her efforts to draw him back in – with difficulty – and left quietly.
He had five minutes to go. On the way to his room he quickly checked his messages.
Cool place, Alex. Love it. You can pay for our next holiday. K x.
The outdoors looks great, but what’s with all the bugs? I’ll be staying in the hotel, A. Hope you and the girlfriend (!) are having fun. Ben.
So you’ve managed to find us somewhere duller than Dullsville. Well done, Alex. I’ve seen a tree. Oh, look, another one. God, this is so boring. They don’t even know how to make a decent cocktail. And they seem to think it’s odd to be drinking on your own at two in the afternoon. Where are all the people? I haven’t even seen Kate’s twin – have you told her to hide from me? Please can we just get out of here. S.
S, since you are so bored here I’ll do you a trade. Give me your time tomorrow and I’ll give you one of mine in Montreal – no, wait, I’ll make it two. That’s two evenings you can have in the nightlife of the city, instead of sitting here all afternoon drinking bad cocktails. Deal? A.
•
Emily curled up in a swing seat on her deck looking out over the lake. It was a crisp fall day, but the early-morning mist had burned off the lake. All was quiet except for the rustling and chirping of chipmunks in the woods near the waterfront.
Emily hadn’t been this happy in years. Yet there was a troubling feeling she couldn’t quite shake. Alex confused her. This was, by some margin, the best relationship she had ever had, but it was also the most difficult. Despite what she had said, could this ever be enough for her? Was this just a summer that she would remember fondly for the rest of her life?
Alex was so sweet. Perfect apart from the schizo thing. What made a person want to live their life like that? Last night she’d thought he was about to tell her he loved her. Did he? Did she love him? And if she did, was that enough? What about the others? They were part of the package.
Something crashed through the woods nearby, and the chipmunks went quiet. She sat up. Maybe it was a deer, or worse, a bear. A dark figure emerged through the trees, pulling leaves from his hair.
She jumped up. ‘Alex?’ It couldn’t be, not yet.
‘It’s me, don’t panic. It’s Alex,’ he said.
‘How?’ she asked. ‘It’s only just gone one.’
‘Sorry to surprise you,’ he said. ‘You weren’t answering your door so I came round this way. Sierra is bored out of her mind here, so we’ve traded time. It does mean you’re going to lose me for two nights in Montreal, but it seemed worth it to have a whole afternoon together here. Sorry I couldn’t tell you, but I didn’t know that Sierra had agreed until I woke four hours early.’ He laughed. ‘I hope I haven’t ruined your plans.’
‘Not at all.’ She smiled. ‘You just gave me a shock. My plan was to sit here moping until you turned up. But now we can go and do something.’ An idea struck her. ‘How about the mountain? This is your one chance to see it properly.’
‘The mountain?’ he asked.
‘Yes. You remember I said how stunning it is up there. We can do it while the cable-car is still going.’
‘Of course,’ he said. ‘That would be great. But how long will that take?’ He looked her up and down. ‘I do have other plans for the afternoon as well.’ He grinned and reached for her.
She laughed and stepped back, batting away his hand. ‘A couple of hours at most. We’ve got plenty of time. Let me go and change.’
She went inside, confused and excited. This wouldn’t ever happen with a normal boyfriend. Things kept changing with Alex. She dressed quickly. High-cut white shorts that emphasised her legs, and a deliberately tight T-shirt.
When she stepped back out he was standing with his back to her, looking out over the lake. ‘Let’s go,’ she called.
He turned, and stared at her for a moment as though seeing her for the first time. That was what she liked about new love. ‘Wow.’ There was a sparkle in his eyes. ‘You look stunning.’
She knew that look. If they didn’t leave now they wouldn’t be going at all. ‘Come on,’ she said. ‘Let’s go. For once we’ve got plenty of time.’
He took her hand.
The cable-car was crowded and they were squeezed together in one corner, Emily pressed into his hard chest. He pulled her tighter, leaning down to kiss her.
‘Not here, Alex,’ she said softly, but secretly smiling. He was getting bolder. A month ago he wouldn’t have done that in front of so many people.
At the top most of the passengers didn’t go any further than the viewing platform next to the cable-car. ‘Come with me,’ said Emily, grabbing his hand. ‘They don’t know what they’re missing.’
They took a trail between silver tree trunks, the sun flickering through a golden-red canopy, their shoes kicking up leaves as they went. The trail began to climb, and after ten minutes they emerged in a clearing at the top of a ridge, with a log cabin in the centre.
> ‘What’s this?’
‘It’s a park ranger’s cabin. You can hire them in the summer, but at this time of year they’re empty. You won’t believe the views from up there.’ She pointed to a balcony jutting out from the first floor.
‘Can we get in?’ he asked.
‘Of course. They’re left open in case people get lost in the woods and need somewhere overnight. Which does happen. You don’t want to be out in the woods in the dark when the bears are foraging. Normally they’ll hide from humans, but at night they get much more aggressive.’
She pushed the door open. The ground floor was one large room, sparsely furnished with only a rough wooden table and benches, a log burner, and cords of wood stacked neatly against one wall. There were fire warnings in French pinned to a noticeboard. Steps led to the first floor. He followed her up. Here they were in the eaves of the sloping roof. There was just enough height for him to stand in the middle. Against one wall were a couple of thin mattresses on low bed frames. Opposite them a window gave glimpses of golden leaves and the blue of Lac Tremblant, and next to it a door led to the balcony. Emily pushed hard and it opened with a squeal.
The view had been worth the climb. A sea of endless red and gold dropped away below them, framing the blue of the lake half a kilometre below, continuing up the other side and into the distance. They could have believed that there was no one else on earth.
Emily lent on the wooden rail and took in the view. If things did not work out, and this was all that she was left with from her time with Alex, it would have been worth it. She could hear his soft breath behind her. He pulled her to him and she could sense his heartbeat through her back. His hands ran lightly over her thin shirt. She shuddered, and pushed back.
‘Maybe it’s time to head down,’ she said.
‘Why?’ he asked. ‘Why not here?’
‘Here?’ she turned, shocked. ‘Anyone could come along.’ But she was beginning to like this side to Alex. Unexpected, but exciting.
He smiled. ‘I don’t hear anyone. And you said this place is deserted. No one else even came this way.’
She bit her lip, and hesitated.
Then she took his hand and led him back to the bedroom.
•
Alex woke entangled with a naked Emily. For a moment it felt good, and he pulled her closer.
Then he sat up sharply, cracking his head on the low roof.
‘What?’ he said, as he blinked in pain. ‘What time is it?’
Emily rolled over towards him. ‘That was amazing,’ she said. ‘The best ever.’ Then she saw his puzzled expression. ‘What is it?’ She checked the time. ‘It’s just gone five. We must have fallen asleep. We’re going to have to walk down, but it was worth it. It’ll be light enough for another hour. We’ll be fine.’
‘What … what are we doing? Where are we?’ asked Alex.
‘On the mountain. In the cabin. What is it, Alex? Are you OK?’ She sat up. ‘You’re scaring me.’
Alex looked around. They seemed to be in the attic of a log cabin, with a low sloping roof. Through the only window he could see the lake far below. ‘When did we get here? How did we get here?’
‘On the cable-car, of course. But it’ll be shut by now. So we’ll have to walk. Don’t worry. The bears won’t be out yet.’ Emily reached over and touched him on the arm. ‘Are you all right?’
He shied away from her. He didn’t remember any of this. What was happening to him?
Then it clicked. He looked at her through wide eyes. His heart sank. What had she done? A burst of anger ran through him.
‘What … what were you doing here with Sierra?’ he asked. His voice was high, accusatory.
She stared at him. ‘What on earth do you mean? Are you still asleep? Don’t you remember? We came up here together. You traded time with Sierra so we could have the afternoon together. You told me …’ Her voice trailed off. ‘You told me …’
She froze, staring at him with her mouth half open.
‘Oh my God,’ said Alex. He slumped backwards on the bed, feeling as though all of his muscles had suddenly collapsed. He was breathing hard. ‘Sierra. Why?’
Emily stared at him, unmoving. ‘Alex … Alex. It was you. Wasn’t it?’
He met her gaze. Then his eyes unconsciously flicked down, brushing over her naked body. She caught his look, and scrabbled at the thin sheet, pulling it up to cover herself. She swallowed hard. For a moment she looked like she was going to throw up.
‘Who are you? Don’t look at me,’ she said, turning away from him.
‘It was Sierra,’ Alex said. ‘Sierra. She lies. It’s what Sierra does. She lies about everything. Why did she do this to me?’
‘To you? It was me she did this to. She … she …’ Emily paused, shaking her head, as if the words wouldn’t come out. ‘I should have known it wasn’t you in the cable-car and … out there. I thought you’d changed. That I’d changed you.’
She stared down at the sheet, twisting it hard in her hands. Her fingers were white.
‘Why couldn’t you tell it wasn’t me?’ he asked. ‘You only had to scan me to know.’
She looked up angrily. ‘Who the fuck scans their boyfriend? I trusted you.’
‘You trusted Sierra. Big mistake.’
They sat in silence for a moment.
Then Alex said, ‘Did you …?’
She looked at him. Then laughed bitterly. ‘No, Alex, we came here and played fucking tiddlywinks for an hour! What do you think we did? I thought it was you.’
How could Emily have been so naïve? How did she fall for this? It was her fault.
No. It was Sierra’s fault. Why had she done this to them?
‘Wasn’t it … different? Couldn’t you tell?’ he asked.
‘Seriously? This isn’t about whether you or Sierra is better in bed.’
‘But you said it was amazing. The best ever. You must have known it was different.’
‘Jesus Christ, Alex. Don’t blame me for not realising that you schizo freaks indulge in these sort of games. I don’t care if it’s you or Sierra who did this.’
‘But it was the same body you slept with yesterday,’ Alex said. ‘I know it was Sierra, and I know it was wrong. But it was still my body.’
‘That doesn’t make it right. That doesn’t make it OK.’ Emily’s voice dropped to a whisper. She looked down at the sheets.. At her clenched knuckles. ‘I didn’t agree to this. This …’ She paused, gulping hard. ‘This feels …’ She coughed harshly, forcing each word out. ‘This feels like rape… . Why didn’t you stop her, Alex? You were meant to protect me.’
Alex didn’t know what to say. She was right. He sat uncertain on the edge of the bed. Helpless. The old Alex was back. It wasn’t Emily’s fault, it was Sierra’s. She was the one who had violated Emily. Violated him.
He reached towards Emily, touching her gently on the shoulder.
She jerked round, anger showing through tears.
‘Get away!’ she screamed at him. ‘Don’t touch me. Don’t ever touch me again.’
‘I’m sorry. So sorry. I want to help.’ He was starting to cry too. He felt numb. ‘I love you, Emily. I’d never hurt you. What can I do? How do we solve this?’
‘Stop looking at me. We don’t solve this. Get out of here. Now.’
‘But I want to help. We can find a way.’
‘No we can’t,’ she said angrily. ‘I don’t know who you are.’
He realised then that it was over. Of course it was. Her shoulders shook and she made no attempt to wipe the tears from her cheeks. He understood – or thought he did. Grief and anger flooded through him.
He slid off the bed, grabbing his scattered clothes. At the top of the steps he turned back. He saw Emily, his Emily, beautiful in the setting sun. He wanted to hold her. To make it all better.
‘How will you get down?’ he asked. Maybe if he’d told her he loved her earlier. Maybe then things would be different. ‘I don’t want to leave us like t
his,’ he pleaded.
‘There is no us, Alex.’ She spat out the words. ‘Get out, now. I don’t want to see you again. Ever. You or your freakish friends.’
•
Sierra, you unspeakable bitch!! How could you do this? We can’t carry on like this. Drugs I can forgive, but this was just spiteful. Emily accused me of raping her. She thinks this is some sick game we schizos play. She never wants to speak to me again. You narcissistic psychopath. WTF!!!
Mike/Ben, this is just for you. You’ll have seen Alex’s message to Sierra. He also left me a voice message. It was hard to follow much, between the tears and the shouting. From what I can work out Sierra slept with Emily, pretending to be Alex. It’s unbelievable, even by her standards. This is a nightmare. Poor Alex. And poor Emily. No one deserves that.
I’ve had a quick look, and as far as I can tell it’s not a criminal offence under Quebec law, even if it ought to be. That doesn’t make it any better, but it does mean we won’t get chucked in jail while they work out what to do with Sierra.
We need to get out of here, though. I’ve arranged transport back to Montreal first thing in the morning – Mike, you’re going to need to deal with that. Let’s get out of Quebec asap. We can’t afford to fly, but let’s get somewhere overland if we can. Then we can get a boat. I’ve messaged Les to see if he can help.
We’re going to need to deal with Sierra ourselves. Alex is in no state to talk about it, so let’s decide between the three of us first.
God, what a mess!! And let’s not forget, Alex needs us.
Kate.
Alex, this is awful. For you and Emily. This is low even for Sierra. I don’t understand why she would do it. Doesn’t she realise it was wrong? What a bitch. I wish I could give you a hug. You need to talk to someone about this. I know you’re focused on Emily, but she isn’t the only victim here. Sierra has used you as well. Don’t bottle this up. I’m sending you a voice message. This is too much to deal with in writing. Please talk to me. Katie. xxxxx
