‘Some people think you can. They think that having everything materially means that you have everything you need.’
‘Yeah, I suppose so. I was lucky, growing up. We had enough in terms of material things and everything we needed. My dad’s an academic, and there’s a great deal of satisfaction in the job for him, but not a massive amount of money.’
‘That sounds nice. Does he teach?’ Arianna could imagine Ben’s father as a teacher. Ben had that way about him, of listening to what people said and nurturing a conversation.
‘Yeah, he’s a university professor and he teaches Ancient History. That’s what we were doing in Greece; he’d come to meet up with some of his contacts in the museums in Athens. Ilaria was my mum’s idea; she wanted to get out of the city and spend some time on the beach.’
‘Grandad’s going to build me a...what is it?’ Jonas had obviously been half listening to their conversation and his ears had pricked up at the mention of his grandfather.
‘A trireme.’ Ben grinned at his son. ‘A model of a trireme, that is, not a full-sized one.’
‘No. We don’t have room.’ Jonas started swimming again, his flailing arms and legs seeming to expend the maximum amount of energy for the minimum amount of progress.
‘Try holding onto me if you want to stay in one place, Jonas. Like you do in your swimming class.’
‘I can do it, Dad. I don’t need to hold on.’
‘Yeah, okay. As long as you’re managing.’ Ben rolled his eyes, and left his son to it. ‘Don’t let us stop you if you want to go for a swim, Arianna. We’ll just stay here and do some pretend swimming.’
‘I can do proper swimming.’ Jonas’s body straightened in the water suddenly and he swam a couple of yards in a very respectable front crawl, before reverting back to doggy-paddle. ‘I like this better.’
‘Okay. I wouldn’t want Arianna to think that I hadn’t taught you how to swim properly when you want to.’
‘If you like, I can look after Jonas for a little while. You can’t come to the Lava Lake without swimming out to the middle and just ducking your head under the water.’ Arianna gestured towards the centre of the lake.
‘Why, what’s there?’
‘You have to see for yourself.’ She wanted Ben to remember today, and it was difficult to forget swimming in the water above the blue-green crystals that had formed at the deepest point of the bed of the lake.
‘You’ll be okay here?’
‘I won’t take my eyes off Jonas for a second.’
Thank you. His lips formed silent words that were only for her, and then Ben spoke to his son. ‘Jonas, you’ll stay with Arianna, won’t you? If she says you’re to get out of the water then you get out of the water.’
He waited for Jonas’s confirmation that he’d heard and understood and then started to swim towards the middle of the lake. Arianna watched the strong swell of his shoulders, keeping her hand on Jonas’s back, ready to grab hold of him if it looked as if he were tiring.
But now that Ben was gone, her fears seemed to swell in her chest. A sudden vision hit her, of Jonas—or was it Xander?—being sucked beneath the surface of the water. She should get a grip, but all she could think about was getting Jonas to the safety of the beach.
‘Have you finished swimming now, Jonas?’
The boy was obviously tiring a little but he ignored her, still splashing about.
‘Let’s get out, shall we?’ Arianna tried again.
‘Okay.’ Jonas swam towards the shore and Arianna heaved a sigh of relief. She felt stupid now, wrapping him in a towel to dry him, and then finding his hat and T-shirt to protect him from the sun. But she did feel a bit more confident.
Ben had reached the middle of the lake and was waving to her. He must be wondering what she was doing, and she waved back. Ben returned her thumbs-up signal, and ducked his head beneath the surface.
Arianna started to count the seconds. She knew exactly what he was seeing right now; she’d swum out and experienced it often enough herself. He was surrounded by iridescent blues, the colours intensifying the deeper he went. Still, she counted. It was tempting to lose yourself down there, and perhaps she should have warned him.
His head broke the surface and he waved again. Arianna cupped her hands around her mouth, shouting across the water, ‘Don’t stay down too long.’
Stupid. He knew that. He could have stayed and dived again, maybe even for a little longer, but now Ben had turned in the water, and was striking back towards the shore.
He got out of the water, slicking his hair back as he walked towards her. Did he really have to do that? Keeping her hands off him was difficult enough...
‘You saw it? The bed of the lake?’
‘Yes, I did. It’s amazing.’
‘Don’t you want to dive again, and see it a second time?’
He pressed his lips together, puffing out a breath. ‘No, once is enough...’
Arianna narrowed her eyes. ‘You’re the first person I’ve brought here who’s said that.’
He shrugged, bending down to pick up a dry towel and wrapping it around her shoulders. Suddenly he leaned in to give her a hug, and she felt the taut muscle of his arm against her cheek before he drew back again.
‘Are you okay?’
Somehow he understood how fearful she’d been. Maybe he’d heard it in the urgency of her tone, when she’d called across the water to him.
‘I...wasn’t. I am now. I thought I’d be all right on my own with Jonas, but I didn’t realise how being in the water with him would make me feel. But you can go back if you want. It would actually make me feel a little better, knowing I haven’t spoiled the day.’
He brushed his fingers against her cheek. ‘You could never spoil any of my days, Arianna. I’d rather be here if you need me.’
That protective instinct of his again. ‘What I really need you to do at the moment is to give me a chance to try again and do it right. We’ll be fine, I promise. Jonas has already found something he wants to do.’
Ben looked across to where his son was busy arranging stones into piles, according to their colour. Arianna wondered if he really could bring himself to be a little less vigilant, just this once.
‘Fine as in fine? Or as in keeping up appearances?’
‘Fine as in absolutely fine. And I really want you to go.’
He thought for a moment and then nodded. ‘Okay. You’ll call me if you want me to come back?’
‘I’ll call. Don’t worry about that.’
Arianna watched as he walked back down to the water’s edge, wading in and then diving forward and starting to swim strongly. Maybe if he wasn’t so physically perfect, if she didn’t crave his touch as much as she needed his comfort, this would all be a little bit easier. But she and Ben were linked now. Linked by their shared past and the way they seemed to understand each other.
She might as well enjoy it. Arianna sat down, pulling her knees up and propping her chin on them. Even at this distance, there was a lot to enjoy.
CHAPTER EIGHT
SHE DROPPED BEN and Jonas off at their hotel. It had been a wonderful day, and seeing Ben and Jonas explore the Lava Lake had given a place that she loved an extra lustre.
Arianna had noticed Ben watching her drive away in her rear-view mirror. He’d done that last night as well, and it produced a mixture of emotions. She didn’t want him to fuss, he’d been doing enough of that already, and she’d cope the way she always had. But having him there, to help her cope, was a powerful temptation.
One that she had to resist. The smile that lingered on her face as she drove home would be enough to carry her through until tomorrow. It had to be.
It was still early, and she walked out onto the veranda, listening to the calm rhythm of the sea. It lulled her into a half-asleep doze, too drowsy to go to bed, until her
eyes snapped open at the sound of the knock on her front door.
Being the only doctor on the island was a twenty-four-hour-a-day job. Arianna didn’t mind that, but it always seemed to be the case that people picked the one hour that she most wanted to herself. She stood up, pasting a smile on her face, which promptly slid to the floor when she opened the door and saw Ben.
Is something the matter? He looked as if everything was right with the world, leaning against one of the pillars that supported the wide porch. His arms were folded and he was smiling in that just-happened-to-be-passing way of his.
He didn’t just happen to be anything. He had a child to look after and he’d just walked a couple of miles in the darkness, along the stony path that led directly across the island.
‘Where’s Jonas?’
‘He’s in bed. Having a suite makes it easy for Lizzie to keep an eye on him for the night.’
The whole night? That sounded challengingly long-term. She supposed the least she could do was to let him in. She stood back from the door, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.
‘I didn’t wake you up, did I? All the lights were on.’
What would he have done if they hadn’t been? Turned around and walked all the way back? Arianna swallowed the question as it sprang to her lips, not entirely sure that she wanted to hear the answer.
‘What’s so urgent that it can’t wait until the morning, Ben?’
Whatever it was, he seemed determined not to meet her gaze when he said it.
‘I...um... I know this weekend has been hard on you, and that my turning up here is one of the things that’s caused that. I know that today was difficult in places.’
She couldn’t deny what he already knew. ‘I have my moments, but they’re just moments. I want to just let them go and get on with things.’
This time he could meet her gaze. Perhaps he’d been possessed by the strange spell of the lake, because his eyes seemed even more blue, and more lustrous.
‘And you’ll let them go tonight? I can’t get into your dreams, Arianna, but maybe I can be there to help.’
Who was he trying to kid? Ben had made his way into her dreams a long time ago, and now he played an almost pivotal role in them. He couldn’t quite change their course, the darkness always managed to suck her down, but part of the horror of that was that it was carrying her away from Ben’s outstretched hands.
‘I have to work things out for myself, Ben. You should be with Jonas.’
He heaved a sigh. ‘I went back out to the centre of the lake this afternoon because you told me I should. And you were right. I was being over-protective and you and Jonas didn’t need me. How about compromising with me now, and admitting that you might sleep a little better with someone around?’
‘With you around, you mean?’ The words compromising and admitting grated a little.
‘This is not an entirely selfless act. I’m here for me just as much as I am for you. I want to be someone who can make a difference again.’
‘I’ll be up early in the morning. I have to work tomorrow.’
‘Then you’ll be needing a good night’s sleep beforehand.’
She didn’t dare thank him or hug him for being here when she really needed him. Just being one step closer to him would only remind her that she should keep her distance and she’d have to step back again and send him away. Arianna walked to the door of the spare room, opening it wide and stopping it from drifting closed again with an irregularly shaped chunk of granite from the sea that served as both a doorstop and a fascinating piece of nature’s art. That was an oblique enough hint that they weren’t really sleeping separately, and that her bedroom door would be wide open too.
‘I should be turning in now.’
‘Yeah. Me too.’ Ben held her gaze but didn’t move, and Arianna realised that it was because she was standing too close to the doorway. She moved aside to let him into the room.
‘Just...help yourself to whatever you need. First one up in the morning makes coffee.’ Arianna had no doubt that the first one awake would be her. These days, she had so little need of her alarm clock that she might as well throw it into the sea.
‘It’s a deal.’ He turned towards the bed and then changed his mind, as if going anywhere near it when she was in his line of sight was a faux pas. ‘I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight.’
‘Goodnight, Ben. And...thank you for coming over.’ Arianna turned, making for her own bedroom.
* * *
Ben had taken a risk, but he’d had to come. He’d spoken to Lizzie, who had told him that if he had things to work out with Arianna then he should go. So he’d kissed Jonas goodnight, waited until he was asleep and left.
He’d faced his own diffidence about whether he was really the one to help Arianna and decided that just because he wasn’t in the business of saving anyone any more, it didn’t mean he couldn’t do something. Then he’d faced Arianna. And now he expected himself to just go to sleep?
He slipped off his shoes, and left his chinos and T-shirt laid out so that he could dive back into them at a moment’s notice. Lying down on the bed under a crisp white sheet, he stared in the approximate direction of the ceiling. Nights here were darker than the ones in London, where a little bit of the yellow glow of streetlights had a habit of filtering through into a room.
Ben could hear Arianna moving around, and rejected the temptation to imagine what she was doing. He wasn’t here for that, and it was wrong to even give it head room. The house was silent now and he turned over, focusing on a different area of darkness in the room.
Maybe he’d dozed off, but he didn’t think he had. He could hear someone moving around, footsteps and the rustle of fabric, but the noises were quiet and measured. Ben stayed still, listening for any indication that Arianna was in distress and not just getting out of bed to fetch a glass of water.
‘May I come in?’ Arianna’s words were almost a whisper, and if he’d been asleep he would have missed them entirely.
‘Of course.’
A faint shadow moved across the room and the bed moved as she sat down on it. Ben reached for her hand, but couldn’t find it.
‘Come here...’ He shifted back on the bed, to give her space.
She inched towards him, and Ben reached out again, his fingers connecting with hers this time. And there was no resistance when he guided her hand. Arianna lay down next to him on the bed, and Ben tucked her against the curve of his own body, putting his arm around her.
‘That’s nice.’ She was wrapped in the light quilt that he’d found her under the other morning, but he could still appreciate the scent of her hair, and the feel of her fingers twisting around his.
‘Yeah. Much better.’
He felt her relax, her head on the pillow next to his. Ben listened to every breath, the way he’d sat and listened to Jonas’s breathing when he was a baby, and sometimes still did. It began to steady and slow, as if she were falling asleep.
* * *
She was dreaming. Her fingers clutching at nothing and her legs twitching, as if running fast. Ben pulled Arianna a little closer, careful not to wake her. Maybe she’d feel him there in her dream.
Long moments of agonised waiting. She was quiet and still for a few minutes, and then her body began to move against his again, as if the dream had faded and then returned. And then he felt her jump, a small cry escaping her lips.
‘What did you dream, Arianna?’ Maybe if she told him now, when she was still half-asleep, she could make a little more sense of it.
‘I don’t... I don’t know.’ Her movements were more purposeful now, and she seemed about to pull away from him and sit up.
‘Just relax a moment. Tell me about your dream.’ Pushing her back into a world that obviously terrified her was a risk. But he couldn’t save her from it, and the next best thing was to be with her and try t
o provide some comfort.
‘I’m on the ferry, and then I fall into the water. I’m being dragged down...’ Ben could feel her starting to panic, and he found her hand, winding his fingers around hers. ‘I’m being dragged down but... I’m telling Xander to let go. I can’t help him, and it’s not my fault.’
She’d remembered that, at least, and it was reflected in her dream now. ‘Can you find me?’
‘No...’ Her body tensed suddenly. ‘No, I couldn’t find you, Ben. You weren’t there...’
‘I’m here, Arianna. Hold on tight.’
Her fingers clutched his almost painfully. And then she began to relax. Ben suspected that this was usually the point at which she got out of bed and went to sit on the veranda. Sitting up all night had the advantage of clearing your head, but it did nothing for your readiness for work in the morning.
‘Go back to sleep. I’m right here, and I’ve got you. You’re safe.’
* * *
It had been so long since she’d gone to sleep, wrapped in someone’s arms. And Lawrence had never made her feel safe, the way that Ben did. She’d never felt that he could find his way into her dreams and help her fight off the monsters that were waiting for her there.
Arianna hadn’t dreamed again that night, and she woke to find herself alone. Lighter, somehow, as if she’d shed some of the weight of guilt that the nightmares always brought with them. She’d thrown off the quilt at some point during the night, and she could still feel the warm thrill of the touch of his skin against hers. Maybe that had been a dream, but she didn’t think so.
She could hear Ben moving around, and the smell of coffee was tempting her awake. Picking up the quilt from the floor, she wrapped it carefully on top of the sleeveless vest she wore and walked out onto the veranda.
‘Coffee! Now!’
Ben’s head popped through the open kitchen window. ‘Wait! It’ll be ready in two minutes. Then we’d better get moving, or Jonas will be wondering where I’ve got to and you’ll be late for work.’
Greek Island Fling to Forever Page 9
