“I should have listened.” It left me a on a grated rasp.
Aaron led me into the shack. Immediately, his mouth covered mine. I kissed him back, fighting the quiver of fear that slicked beneath the surface of my skin.
I liked him.
I liked him so much.
I was just nervous. It was my first time. Everyone was nervous when they left themselves vulnerable to someone else. When you gave them this kind of trust.
I’d been enamored with him for all of forever. I finally had this chance, and I’d be an absolute fool if I let anxiety and insecurity get in the way.
Not again.
I’d been doing it for too long.
But when he led me to the small cot backed against the far wall and started to undress me, I couldn’t stop shaking. Shaking and shaking and shaking. Nerves skittered free and fast. Naked, my stomach tightened, and I couldn’t relax. I pressed my knees together, suddenly wanting to cover myself. It didn’t let up when Aaron undressed in the muted darkness.
I should have been watching his muscular body in the shadows. Instead, I squeezed my eyes closed and fought tears.
“Shh,” was all he said when he climbed over me and wedged between my thighs. My legs shook. I squeezed them against him, because something about this felt all wrong. My fingers dug into his shoulders and a whimper escaped my lips.
A sharp pain stole my breath when he thrust into me. I tried to hold it back, but a small cry escaped.
And those cries—they wouldn’t stop coming, though, I bit them back, keeping them subdued as he kept driving into me, his head shifted to the side, away, never looking at my face
Tears flowed, almost silent as I stared at the ceiling, wondering how his kisses had felt so good when this felt so . . . wrong.
I knew it.
My gut told me.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
Something was so unbearably wrong.
I just didn’t know the extent of it until he groaned and pulsed before he quickly pushed off me and climbed to his feet. His naked body was lit up in oranges and reds against the lapping flames reflected in from outside.
Then Aaron, he smirked.
I blinked down at this amazing man who lay completely still, listening, knowing he wouldn’t judge me. But that didn’t mean my voice didn’t quiver with shame and agony. “He gave me this look before he ducked down and grabbed my clothes from the floor. He balled them against his chest and just . . . walked out with them. I couldn’t stop crying, Rex. Couldn’t stop crying. I kept calling for him. Screaming for him to come back. Not to leave me. Never in my life had I felt more alone than the moment when he walked out on me after he’d taken my innocence. After I thought I meant something to him.”
“That piece of shit.” His words barely made it between his clenched teeth.
My tongue darted out to wet my lips. “I stayed in there for so long. It was horrible. It was dark, and I was naked and alone. Finally . . . finally, I stumbled out to find him, trying to cover myself when I did.”
Grief clamped down on my heart. “I stumbled out and . . . there was . . . there was a bunch of kids from school,” I finally managed. Every word was filled with the disgrace I’d felt that day. “They were waiting for me to come out. They all just started laughing, like my standing there naked . . . hurt . . . terrified . . . was the funniest thing they’d ever seen.”
The group of about eight laughed. Laughed as I stumbled on my feet. My body sore. The trickle of something foreign ran down my leg.
My head dropped, not wanting to meet their eyes.
Oh God.
Help.
I twisted awkwardly, bending over and pressing my thighs and knees together, my arms crossed over my chest.
As if it might shield me.
Shield me from the insults.
From the jeers.
From the laughter.
I barely peeked up, gasping when I saw Janel at the center of it. With Aaron. One of his arms was wrapped around her waist, her body plastered to his side, her hands on his chest. He’d pulled on underwear and was casually draining a beer as if he hadn’t just degraded me in the worst way.
Oh God. No. My head spun with dizziness. Nausea churned in my stomach. I was going to be sick.
I stumbled a step backward, trying to quiet the cries that were tearing from my aching throat. Raking from me like broken glass. “Aaron,” I mumbled the plea.
“Oh, Rynna.” Janel took a step toward me, her blonde hair lit up like a ring of flames from the fire behind her. “You poor, pathetic thing. Did you really think he’d actually go out with you? Did you actually think he wanted you?”
“Oh my God . . . look at all that fat. Dude, did you really just put your dick in that? Not sure how you stomached it.” I didn’t want to acknowledge it, but I couldn’t help but look at Remi, Aaron’s best friend, who was laughing hysterically where he stood by the bonfire.
Aaron looked at him with a grin before he planted a kiss on Janel’s temple. “Like I wouldn’t do anything for my girl. And it was dark.” He hefted a shoulder. “Didn’t make it all that bad.”
Janel smirked at me.
Horror.
It spun around me in whipping, rending lights. The world canting.
Oh God.
Oh God.
“Ah, poor, Rynna Dayne, always such a good girl. But look at her now, nothing but a filthy, fat slut.”
Another string of lights. Flashes from a camera.
Picture after picture.
“Janel,” I begged.
No.
I tried to cover myself, wrenched over as I sobbed.
Janel just sneered. “You should have known better than to fuck with me.”
Then it hit me. A pie. Splattering. Blueberries in my hair, streaking down my chest, dripping on my belly.
Howls of laughter.
“Happy birthday, Rynna,” Janel mocked. She tossed me my dress.
I gasped out in relief, scrambling to gather the fabric that landed two feet in front of me and hugged it against my body.
Jeers and abuse struck me from all sides, and I clutched the material to my chest, as if it might stand the chance to shield me from the torment.
Take it away.
Hide me.
The confession tumbled from me on a downpour of tears. Rex clung to me, horror in his posture as he held me as close as he possibly could.
“I ran home. Mortified. Knowing those pictures were going to be plastered all over the school the next day. Knowing my gramma would see them and know what I’d done. So I ran. I ran and ran and ran and I never stopped running, Rex. Not until I came back here.”
Not until I’d collided with this mesmerizing man.
“Rynna, what’s going on?” The sleepy voice filled with concern hit me from behind.
Torment lashed like the crack of a whip. My eyes slammed closed, and the words trembled from my mouth. “I’m so sorry, Gramma, but I’ve got to go.”
The floor creaked with my grandmother’s footsteps. She sucked in a breath when she rounded me, shocked by my battered appearance. “Oh my lord, what happened to you?” Her voice quivered. “Who hurt you? Tell me, Rynna. Who hurt you? I won’t stand for it.”
Vigorously, I shook my head, finding the lie. “No one. I just . . . I can’t stay in this stupid town for a second more. I’m going to find Mama.”
I hated it. The way the mention of my mother contorted my gramma’s face in agony.
“What are you sayin’?”
“I’m saying, I’m leaving.”
A weathered hand reached out to grip my forearm. “But graduation is just next month. You’ve got to do your speech. Walk across the stage in your cap and gown. Never seen anyone so excited about somethin’ in all my life. Now you’re just gonna up and leave? If you can’t trust me, then you can’t trust anyone. Tell me what happened tonight. You left here just as happy as a bug in a rug, and now you aren’t doing anything but runnin’ scared.”
Anguish creased my grandmother’s aged face. “Rynna, I won’t let you just walk out like this.”
She reached out and brushed a tear from under my eye. Softly, she tilted her head to the side, that same tender smile she had watched me with at least a million times hinting at the corner of her mouth. “Don’t you ever forget, if you aren’t laughing, you’re crying. Now, which would you rather be doin’?” She paused, and I couldn’t bring myself to answer. “Wipe those tears, and let’s figure something out. Just like we always do.”
Sadness swelled like its own being in the tiny room. Loss. Regret. Like an echo of every breath of encouragement my grandmother had ever whispered in my ear. “I can’t stay here, Gramma. Please don’t ask me to.”
With the plea, my grandmother winced. Quickly, I dipped down to place a lingering kiss to her cheek, breathing in the ever-present scent of vanilla and sugar, committing it to memory.
Then I tugged my suitcase from the bed and started for the door.
Gramma reached for me, fingertips brushing my arm, begging, “Rynna, don’t go. Please, don’t leave me like this. There’s nothing that’s so bad that I won’t understand. That we can’t fix.”
I didn’t slow. Didn’t answer.
I ran.
And I didn’t look back.
“I just . . .” The words whispered from me on a regretful plea. “I just wish I would have come back sooner. I just wish I would have realized it didn’t matter what they’d done to me. My gramma would have never looked at me differently. She loved me, no matter what, and I let them steal eleven years of that.”
Fingers sank into my flesh, rage barely contained. “I want to hunt that little fucker down and kill him, Rynna. Who the fuck would do that to you? And that bitch? Fuck. I can’t even fathom it.”
Aaron’s name threatened on my tongue, the fact that I’d seen him on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant a couple weeks before. But there was no use in saying names. On laying blame. I just wanted to let Rex in, let him see me, understand me, the same way as he’d allowed me to understand him.
“It was a long time ago, Rex.”
“But it doesn’t take away what they did.”
“No.” My head shook, a tweak of hope lifting the corner of my trembling lip. “And you’re right. I spent a long time being terrified of them. Just the idea of ever seeing them again had kept me chained to San Francisco. But maybe they regret it now. Maybe the years passed, and they recognized the depravity of what they had done. Maybe they look back, and they’re struck with shame and remorse and would take it all back if they could.”
Rex touched the side of my face. “You are nothin’ but grace and good, Rynna Dayne. Forgiving them that way.”
“Holding on to hate would only hurt me more.”
It was almost a grin that lit on his face. “Am I allowed to hate them for you?”
I bit my bottom lip, fighting a smile. Again, overcome by him. By that beautiful exterior and the amazing heart beating its own kind of grace underneath. “If it makes you feel better.”
He clutched me to him, burrowing his face into my neck, pressing his lips against my skin. “Yeah, it makes me feel so much better.”
Then he nipped at me, and a giggle slipped out.
Because Rex Gunner made me feel completely free.
I moved to stare down at him, and I swore his eyes saw all the way to the depths of me.
The air shifted.
Hit with that charge.
A bolt of electricity.
I sucked in a breath, and he placed his palm at the center of my chest, nudging me back until I was sitting up, straddling him.
He gripped his length in his hand.
Already ready. Wanting more.
Which was just fine, because everything I had belonged to this man.
31
Rynna
Morning light flooded through the window. Bright, white, and glowing.
I thought maybe I was, too.
I watched Rex, the man lost to sleep. Peace floated around him like a full-body halo where he lay face down on his bed. Twisted in his sheets. A hint of his perfect, round ass peeked out from above the satiny material, the ridges of his muscular back on display, his shoulders so deliciously wide.
My gaze traced every inch of exposed skin.
Even though he’d been so lost, he’d opened up, willing to be found.
Redness rushed across my chest and up to my face, this feeling that was so heavy and warm and light fluttering through my senses. Everything so incredibly right.
Not even trying to stop my smile, I quietly dressed and slipped out of his room.
I peeked in at Frankie. I had to stifle a laugh when I found her facing the opposite end of her bed, sprawled out across it. She had one arm thrown over the side and a leg bent at an odd angle so her foot rested against the wall.
Not even sleep could keep that rambunctious child tamed.
My heart thrummed.
Love. Love. Love.
Pulling her door closed a fraction, I continued to edge down the hall, eager to start the day. Milo would need to be taken out.
On top of that? I figured Rex would love to have a fresh pot of coffee waiting for him when he woke.
Or maybe . . .
Maybe I would have one of Pepper’s breakfast pies ready. The kind my gramma had been known for most. It was close to a quiche, but the entire thing was topped with a flaky, delicious crust. People had come for miles to have it start their days.
A grin gripped my entire face when I thought of Rex’s reaction. The way he’d look at me when he stood all rumpled and sleepy at the end of the hall, finding me in his kitchen.
That man and his pie.
When he heard me approaching, Milo scrambled to his feet. Nails scratching at the wood floor, he scampered over to me. His tail and hind-end wagged all over the place, his whole body shaking.
“Morning, sweet boy,” I said. I scooped him into my arms. “I bet you need to go potty, don’t you?” I cooed, nuzzling my nose against the top of his head. He licked my chin.
I slipped on the flip-flops I’d left by the couch and grabbed his leash.
Right as I was reaching for the knob, light knocking sounded against the wood. It stopped me short. Ears perking up, Milo twisted in my arms, his attention trained that direction. I fumbled my fingers through his soft fur. “It’s okay, sweet boy. Let’s see who it is so they don’t wake up the whole house.”
I glanced at the clock. It wasn’t even seven in the morning. Frowning, I quickly and quietly twisted the lock, careful as I eased it open.
Confused, I blinked, trying to see through the bright sunlight that poured in from behind the figure on the porch.
A blazing silhouette just on the other side of Rex’s door.
I attempted to shake myself from the hallucination. To focus clearly. Desperate to find who was really there and not what my mind was taunting me into believing.
Bewilderment stirred through my brain, nudging at the recesses of my mind, prodding at every hurt I’d triumphed. Every fear that had attempted to hold me back. I could feel the trigger being squeezed. Shooting me straight into the worst kind of dream.
No.
I blinked at her.
No.
Movement at the end of the hall tore my attention from the figure standing on the porch. My mouth flapped open, questions wanting to pour out when I found Rex standing there, wearing only his jeans.
But I couldn’t say anything.
His own shock had frozen him in place, those sage eyes wider than I’d ever seen.
“Janel,” he finally rasped. Her name was barely audible, but it struck my world like an atomic bomb.
Detonating.
Exploding.
Destroyi
ng.
Slowly, I looked back at her. My knees went weak.
And the entire world dropped out from under me.
32
Rex
I could barely see through the fog. Through the haze of my mind.
Clouded.
Confused.
Hurt and hate. They spun through my spirit, a goddamned cyclone that blistered my blood.
I stood at the end of my hall staring at the woman who couldn’t be anything more than an apparition.
A fucking ghost. A demon cast from hell to torment the living.
Or maybe that was just where I’d been condemned.
Hell.
Punishment for giving up and giving in.
Because Rynna stood there, as shocked as I was, her knees going weak when Janel’s name finally tore through my lips like lead.
It might as well have been a bullet.
Rynna fumbled back a step. Her hand shot out to the wall to keep her from falling. Janel stared at her. Shocked. Angry. Jealous. I didn’t fucking know. All I knew was she finally said her name.
“Rynna?”
She said it like she knew her.
“What are you doing here?” Janel all of a sudden demanded, words a harsh breath.
Guessed that was what finally knocked me from the trance. The fact she had the audacity to come into my house and make any kind of claim. I angled forward, head cocked to the side as I stalked across the floor of my home.
My home.
Frankie’s home.
The home I had every intention of becoming Rynna’s, too.
“You really gonna fucking stand there and demand to know who’s in my house? Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me?”
“Rex.” Janel’s blue eyes found mine. Wide and innocent. The way she’d always looked at me when she wanted something most. Which was usually about all the time. Maybe I didn’t recognize it until then. But there it was, the truth of it glaring back at me.
Three fucking years, and she was going to stand there looking at me like that?
“Get the fuck out.” My voice was grit.
Rynna reeled at my side. Gasping over a breath. She barely caught herself before she fell to her knees, clutching Milo to her chest.
Fight for Me: The Complete Collection Page 25
