Strangled confusion fell from my tongue. “What did you say?”
She turned back to me. “Your grandmother . . .”
My brow pinched. “I know you said my grandmother . . . but Janel . . . she worked here? When she was with Rex?”
Her eyes narrowed in confusion. “Don’t really know a time she lived in this town when she didn’t work for your grandma. From what I know, she started out when she was in high school.”
Oh God.
My arm went around my belly. I had no idea why I’d assumed Janel no longer worked at Pepper’s. That once I left, my grandmother would have let her go.
Regret churned.
Once I’d gotten to California and called Gramma to let her know where I was, I’d told her I didn’t want to hear a thing about what was happening in Gingham Lakes or its people. I’d told her the only person I cared about was her.
I’d wanted to shun it and hide it and pretend the rest never existed.
Of course, life here had just gone on.
Gramma had no idea what Janel had done to me. There’d been no reason for her to cut her loose.
“What’s wrong?” Jenny asked, taking a cautious step my direction.
“I . . . I didn’t know she was still working for my gramma. That she was here. It feels . . . wrong.”
So wrong.
So off.
Awareness pressed in. A thread tickling my consciousness, vying to make itself known.
“You knew her?” Jenny asked.
I barely nodded. “I lived with my gramma growing up.”
Jenny huffed. “Everything about Janel is wrong, Rynna. Make no mistake about that.”
She approached me, touched my cheek. Her expression turned pleading. “My son deserves to be happy. And my grandbaby? She deserves to be safe. Both of them deserve to be loved. The right way. And I know I don’t know you all that well, but I’ve always considered myself a good judge of character, and I’m betting you deserve it, too.”
I felt jarred when she suddenly stepped back and began to walk away. Just as she pulled the door open, she looked back at me. “I don’t trust her, Rynna. And you and my boy . . . your hearts are in the right places. But any sacrifice you and Rex are trying to make are only opening the door for her to hurt them all over again.”
* * *
My head was still spinning when I left the diner. Streetlamps shined down, twilight the deepest blue where it took to the sky, the Alabama air cooled by the shallow gusts of wind that blew through the quieted corridor, the shops lining the street shut down for the night.
I’d spent the entire day inside.
Working and cleaning and trying to process what Jenny Gunner had been trying to say. It’d felt like a warning. I’d pondered it until the windows had dimmed and darkness had begun to take hold.
I stumbled toward my Jeep parked at the street, my mind five miles away on that little house across from mine. I jerked back when I saw the man at Pepper’s windows, hands cupping around his eyes as if he were trying to get a better view inside through the tinted windows.
Slowly, he peeled himself back, ambled my direction.
Aaron.
Why was he looking in my restaurant?
Terror bottled in my throat, and I took a step back when he took one toward me.
He smirked, every slimy inch of his arrogant face lit in the lamps. This time, the asshole clearly knew who I was. “Well, Rynna Dayne. Thought you looked familiar before. Just couldn’t place you. You look good. Real good.”
He grabbed me by the wrist.
Something took me over. The fear gone, replaced by something fierce. I wrenched out of his hold. Disgusted. Anger burst free. “You didn’t recognize me? Why’s that? Because I wasn’t naked, letting you take advantage of me? Because I wasn’t following you around like a fool? Because I lost a few pounds? Which is it?”
He let loose a low, amused whistle. “Ah, I see the way you look isn’t the only thing that’s changed. Feisty. I like that.”
He went to touch my hand, and I jerked it back. “Don’t touch me. Don’t look at me. Don’t come around me. In fact, stay off this street. Don’t want to see you in front of this diner ever again.”
I ducked around him, trying to keep it together, pretending as if I weren’t shaking all over the place. I was seconds away from coming unglued. Unhinged.
A chuckle rumbled from his mouth, and he looked back at me, shaking his head. “Always in Janel’s way, aren’t you? Brave girl. Just wonder who she’s going to hurt most this time.”
I whipped around. “What did you say?”
He just smirked then he turned and sauntered down the street.
By the time I made it home, I was trembling so hard I could barely see. I killed the engine and sat in the darkness of the cab. I clutched the steering wheel, sucking in breaths.
What was I supposed to do?
What did any of this mean?
I forced myself out into the night. Wind gusted and worry climbed through every inch of my body. Despite all my efforts, my attention tuned to his house. It was lit, all the windows shining with a soft yellow glow.
Janel’s car was in the driveway, but Rex’s truck was gone.
At least there was some comfort in knowing they weren’t together. It was Friday night, so Rex would be at the bar and Frankie would be spending the night with her grandma, who so obviously had Frankie’s best interest at heart.
I forced myself up the steps, across the porch, and fumbled to get the key into the lock. The door swung open.
Dread echoed back from the silence.
God. I was losing it. I had to be.
But everything felt . . . off.
I swore a disorder tumbled through the air, a disturbance ricocheting from my grandmother’s walls that hadn’t been there when I’d left this morning.
I flicked on the light. Eyes jumping around. Calculating as I took everything in.
Nothing seemed out of place. But my gut? It warned me someone had been there.
Fear slithered beneath the surface of my skin, and I stepped all the way inside and locked the door. I went into the kitchen and flicked on the light.
Empty.
I was alone. Somehow, that didn’t make me feel any better. I warmed up some leftover pot pie in the microwave and sat down at the table by the window. It was like sand in my mouth, but I forced it down since I hadn’t eaten in days.
Forty minutes later, a loud engine rumbled down the street. Approaching. Coming closer.
A frenzy climbed to the air.
Awareness.
Confusion.
Dread.
Headlights sliced through the darkness before Rex’s big truck turned into his driveway, way earlier than I’d have expected him to.
That frenzy roiled.
The breath got locked in my lungs when he finally stepped out, and I couldn’t look away as I watched him, his head drooped between his shoulders as he ascended the porch steps and made his way inside.
My eyes squeezed closed, and I pressed my hand over my heart.
God. What was I supposed to do?
36
Rex
I sat at the bar, tossing back beer after beer. Olive’s was packed, same way as it was every Friday night. Hoards of people were out living it up, having the time of their lives, their laughter and voices and conversations ringing out.
It only amplified the hollowness.
The vacancy that wept.
That turmoil I’d stumbled into the day Rynna had pushed me away had only grown with each moment that passed. Janel’s presence had gotten harder and harder to bear. Every single time I opened my goddamned door and she was there, it hit me anew.
It made my stomach clutch and my heart wrench, hating that I wasn’t coming home to Rynna. Hating that Frankie still didn’t know how to act around her mother, uneasy and unsure and a little bit scared. Hated that it made my skin crawl every goddamned time Janel took my baby girl in her arms.
I just fucking . . . hated.
Ollie appeared in front of me, popping the cap off a fresh beer. He slid it across the shiny bar. “Don’t know whether to keep feeding you these or cut you off.”
I lifted it to my lips and took a long pull before I tipped the neck his direction. “I’m pretty sure the answer to that is to keep them coming. You know what they say, it’s all about who you know.”
Chuckling beneath his breath, he planted his hands on the bar and stretched his tattooed arms out between us, dropping his voice when he leaned in close. “Yeah, well that might be the case, but that also means I know you. And I know you’re fucking miserable, man. This isn’t healthy.”
I took another sip. “Not much to be done about that now, is there?”
Ollie’s face screwed up in concern. “Not sure wasting away at my bar is the solution.”
“Just . . . can’t go back there, Ollie.”
He sighed and wiped a palm over his mouth before he turned his attention back on me. “So, you let your ex-wife back in your house, and now you can’t go back to it? You not seeing an issue with that?”
Oh, I was seeing plenty of issues.
Harsh laughter rolled from my tongue. “That’s the problem, Ollie. Janel’s not my ex. She’s still my fucking wife.”
A frown pinched between his brows. “Only thing claiming it is a piece of paper. And you know what that piece of paper says? It says the two of you would cherish each other, love each other, respect each other for all of your lives. It says the two of you would stay true through thick and thin. Through the good and the bad. I was there, remember? You really think Janel has been faithful to you since she left? You think her running off on you was fueled by her respect?” Quiet outrage shook Ollie’s head. “Pretty sure any contract you two had is expired.”
I jumped when a hand clamped down on my shoulder. My head jerked that way. Kale was there, grinning down, sliding into the stool next to me.
“Oh, do tell me I’m just in time for the conversation about the fucked-up situation our boy here has gotten himself into.”
Just fucking great.
All I needed was the two of them razzing me. Teasing and taunting me with what I already knew.
Ollie lifted his chin to Kale. “Yep. Right in time, brother. Pretty sure this asshole thinks he’s going to sit here all night and actually manage to drink his cares away.” Ollie turned back to me. “But believe me, when you wake up in the morning? They’re going to be right there waiting for you.”
“Comforting,” I grunted, taking a quick swig.
Ollie shrugged. “Just telling you like it is.”
“And what the hell do you expect me to do about it? Rynna already made her decision.” Didn’t mean to come off so pissy and irate, but I couldn’t stop it. Because I was.
I was angry.
Hurt.
This raging storm billowing inside of me where I was lost, going down in the middle of the sea, getting swallowed by the waves. No goddamned chance of being saved.
“Yeah?” Kale challenged, angling to the side in his stool so he was fully facing me. “And why’s that?”
“Because she knows it’s not worth getting involved in my mess.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“I call bullshit.”
A huff of frustration bled out. “I went to her, Kale, I went to her and I begged her and she sent me away. I betrayed her, man, withholding that truth. She doesn’t trust me, which I can’t expect her to. I fucked it up, just like I always do.”
“Yeah, because she got railroaded by the truth that you’re still married. You think that whole thing wouldn’t have gone down differently if she would have been prepared? If you would have already been taking the steps to end that bullshit marriage that never should have existed in the first place?”
“Or maybe she should shut me down. I made a vow, and for once in my life, I need to stick to it.”
“Once in your life?” he bit out like he couldn’t believe his ears.
“Yeah. You think I didn’t make the same damned promises to Sydney—”
I slammed my mouth closed, a fence going down in front of the words that wanted to keep rolling out.
Ollie looked like I’d punched him. “What does Sydney have to do with any of this?”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I’d slipped.
Just like I’d been saying all along, ever since Rynna had come into my life, things had spun out of control. In the best of ways. In the worst of ways. I had just ripped open the locks to a past I didn’t want to unleash. A goddamned train wreck, no consideration to who was going to get in the mix of it.
Last thing I wanted was to hurt Ollie more than I already had. He didn’t need this. Fuck, he didn’t need any of this. Never had deserved it.
“What did you say?” Ollie’s voice was muted and strained.
I hopped up, hands gripping my hair, trying to reel it all in. Tossed out a few more lies. Not like they made any difference anyway. “Nothing . . . just should have stopped her that night.”
I drained my beer and slammed it down on the bar. “Gonna get out of here.”
Throwing a handful of twenties down, I spun on my heels and wound back through the crowds, shouldering through the bodies packed tight, their laughter and joy grating in my ear. A fucking grinding pad against my consciousness.
Swore I was close to a panic attack by the time I stumbled out into the night. I sucked down the cool breeze, lifting my head to the sky, wishing on any goddamned star that might appear.
I cringed when the door swung open behind me.
Didn’t need to turn around to know it was Kale.
“Just go back inside,” I told him.
“You really think I’m going to turn my back on you? Now? When you need me most? You might have done a bang-up job of convincing yourself all these years that you didn’t need anybody, but I think it’s plenty clear by now you’re wrong.”
He took a step toward me. “Tell me what you want, Rex. Tell me. Who?”
Frankie and Rynna. Frankie and Rynna. Their names spun on a circuit. Nonstop.
I shook my head. “This is all so fucked up, Kale.”
Slowly, I turned. “So fucked up, and I don’t have a fucking clue what to do.”
“Yes, you do. You know exactly what to do.”
Air puffed through my nose, and I looked away, raking a hand through my hair. “And what’s that?”
“You probably should start by forgiving yourself for Sydney. By finally letting go of what you’ve been carrying. Tell Ollie. He deserves to know.”
Fear clamored through my nerves. “Sydney doesn’t have anything to do with this.” Could barely force out the defense.
Kale took a step forward, angling his head. “Really? You’re really going to stand there and act like it doesn’t have everything to do with every damned decision you’ve made since it happened? Are you really going to act like it didn’t have everything to do with Janel in the first place?”
I blanched, attention swinging back to him, anger filling the words. “What? I’m not seeing how the two relate.”
“You settled, man. You settled because you thought you didn’t deserve to be happy. Because you thought you shouldn’t ever get to love again. And then Frankie, that sweet baby girl, came into your life, and you didn’t know how not to love anymore. So you gave in, opened your heart, loved. You loved, man, and then Janel destroyed it all over again. And now she’s back and you’re settling again.”
He edged forward, voice dropping low. “You really think Rynna’s not worth the fight?”
Anguish fisted my heart. “Of course, she’s worth the fight.”
“Then fight for her, Rex. Fight for her and fight for Frankie, and for goddamned once, fight for yourself.”
Every muscle in my body recoiled. “What if I don’t deserve it, man?” I swam against all the emotions that came rushing in. “I fuck everything up. Eve
ry single time. Lose the people I love. I thought this time . . . I thought this time with Rynna I’d finally outrun it. That I’d gotten a second chance. And the next thing I know, she’s gone, too. She doesn’t want me, man. She doesn’t want me, and I don’t know how to stop it. I don’t know how to stop it.”
The last left me on a wheeze, and I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes.
Fuck.
I didn’t know how to stop it.
I drove back home in a blaze of pain. I’d sat in my truck for two fucking hours, letting the booze run their course, before I forced myself to move. I pulled into my drive, trying not to look behind me to Rynna’s place. Maybe if I blocked it all, I wouldn’t feel it anymore.
Frankie and Rynna.
Maybe if I managed to go numb, it’d erase all the pain. Maybe then I could float right through the days.
I heaved out a couple of breaths before I forced myself from the cab. Footsteps dragging, I made my way up the porch and to the door.
I was in a daze when I walked through it, and I squinted when I stepped inside and let the door fall shut behind me. Like I was watching the scene through a dream. Everything distorted.
Janel was in the kitchen.
Cooking dinner.
Frankie and Rynna.
The smell of pork chops hung heavy in the air. But it felt all off. A knot formed in my throat, and I tried to swallow.
Her blonde hair swished around her shoulders when she turned to look at me, taken by surprise. She quickly tucked her phone in her back pocket, hands shaking. “Oh, you’re here early.”
She dipped into the fridge and grabbed a beer. “Here. You look like you could use this.”
She was all care and concern when she sauntered over to me, twisting the cap from the beer, leading me to the couch.
“Did you have a bad day?” she asked, sinking to her knees on the floor, staring up at me.
I choked out a laugh. A bad day. She had no clue what her returning had done to me. Had done to Rynna. The toll it was taking on Frankie.
Fight for Me: The Complete Collection Page 28
