The main room was open, decorated in dark woods and even darker leathers.
The entire vibe echoed peace.
Too bad I felt none of it.
Seth chuckled a bit, but there wasn’t a whole lot of amusement to it. “Nah. I knew you would. Especially with the way you looked like you were going to lose your mind last night.”
That was the problem.
That was exactly what was happening.
I was losing my mind.
“You want to tell me about this line of bullshit you were feeding Nikki about it being a bunch of kids breaking into her place? Because it sure didn’t look that way to me.”
He sighed, and I could almost see him rocking forward in his office chair at the station to lean his elbows on his desk. “That’s exactly what it could be, Ollie. We see cases like this all the time. But there was something about it that felt purposed. Like someone was trying to send a message.”
My hand curled tighter around my phone. “And what kind of message would that be?”
The sound he made was strained. Like he didn’t know what to offer me. “A warning.”
Anger tightened around me. Chains. Constricting tighter.
“That doesn’t mean that’s what it was. It’s only a hunch.” Silence spun for a second before he continued, “Has she made any enemies lately? Maybe broken up with somebody?”
My teeth gritted.
Because I should know. Should know everything about her. Hold her secrets. Her dreams. Her joy.
I was the one who’d crushed every single one of them.
And I sure as shit shouldn’t be pissed by the idea of there even being someone for her to break up with.
“Not sure. But she’s been interning with a psychologist, helping her run some meetings. She was texting someone last night from there on the ride back to my place. Gut tells me it has something to do with that.”
He exhaled heavily. “Anything happening there is going to be confidential. You can’t get in the middle of that.”
“If it means Nikki’s safety, I can.”
“Ollie,” he warned. “I had you call me because I want you to know what’s going on. To watch for anything out of the ordinary. Not for you to take off hunting like . . .”
He trailed off.
Leaving the rest suspended in the distance between us.
My mind filled in the blank.
Like Sydney.
I’d hounded that station for fourteen years.
They’d labeled it a cold case.
And I’d labeled that bullshit.
If they wouldn’t hunt? I sure as hell would.
“I won’t let anything happen to her, Seth.”
It was my own warning.
A promise.
Because whoever this fucker was?
He was gonna learn I had a message to send, too.
* * *
I heard the bedroom door snap open. Hell, I probably didn’t even hear it. More likely, I felt it, the presence stepping out from the far end of the apartment.
That aura she wore was like an additional layer of her skin.
Glittering diamonds and glimmering golds reflecting off the sun.
Swore, I could feel that girl from a mile away.
Bare feet padded on the concrete floor.
That feeling grew stronger and stronger with each step. It’d covered me whole by the time she made her way out into the main living area.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
That sweet voice hit me from ten feet behind. With the way chills went skating across my skin, she might as well have been whispering it in my ear.
I stirred the ground beef I was browning in the skillet, giving her a quick glance over my shoulder, trying not to get wrapped up in her.
Fresh out of the shower after I’d picked her up from work an hour ago and took her back to her apartment to pick up her car.
Now the girl stood there.
Hair wet.
Skin damp.
Expression confused.
Spirit fierce.
That was what always got me more than anything. The way she glowed this unassuming, timid belief, all wrapped up in a wide, bright smile.
“What’s it look like I’m doing?”
“Cooking.” It was pure, horrified concern.
I chuckled a little. “Seems like we’re on the same page then.”
Curiosity drawing her forward, she rounded the tall table surrounded by stools that acted as a partition of the kitchen and living area.
Or maybe it was just me.
Because I could feel the tether.
Pulling, pulling, pulling.
“The question is, why are you cooking? Aren’t you supposed to be downstairs working?”
“Probably.”
She popped her hip on the counter and crossed her arms over her chest.
The stance pushed up her tiny tits, soft mounds of flesh swelling over the neckline of her tight tank. Her olive skin warm, and her innocent face soft, those freckles running across her nose.
No chance could I keep my gaze from dipping from her mouth to that cleft.
My cock stirred and my chest squeezed painfully.
What the hell had I gotten myself into?
Felt like I’d parachuted right behind enemy lines.
Problem was, I had no idea if it was Nikki I was stealing in to rescue or if it was this girl who was going to kill me in the end.
“So why are you up here then?”
“Thought you might be hungry after a long day’s work.”
Or maybe I felt like shit after being such an asshole this morning.
It was a toss up.
Her brow rose, and she tightened her hold across her chest. “I’m a big girl. I think I can feed myself. If I’m staying here, I can’t be interfering with your job. That bar means the world to you.”
So do you.
The thought pierced me like an arrow, sheering straight through me.
I hiked what I hoped looked like an indifferent shoulder, trying to fight off this bullshit feeling I couldn’t shake.
Couldn’t stop the inundation in my mind, though. The idea of what might have happened had she gone back to her place earlier and gotten in the mix of whoever had been there.
My insides clutched.
In pain.
In dread.
Couldn’t stop the assault of images. The horror of someone hurting her.
Stealing her away, too.
I wouldn’t let it happen.
Not again.
Not to her.
And my call with Seth was not sitting well.
“Was hungry and didn’t feel like eating bar food tonight. Thought you might be, too. That’s all. Don’t always get down there first thing. Perks of being the boss.” I shot her a wink with the last, and she was fighting the smile that was twitching across her lips.
“Must be nice,” she said, shifting away and opening the fridge.
She dipped down to peer inside.
My eyes landed on her ass, the girl wearing these tiny black shorts that barely covered her cheeks.
Yeah, so, so nice.
Unbearably nice.
Sweat beaded on my brow, and I beat the attraction back, remembered my mission. Why she was here.
“Want a beer?” she asked, digging through my stash.
“Sure.”
She straightened, two beers in hand. She twisted the cap off the first one, handed it to me, and then opened her own before tilting it toward me.
“Truce?”
Unease wound through me as I stared at her standing in my kitchen.
“Never knew we were at war.”
She laughed a low sound, shaking her head as she glanced at her feet before she peeked up at me. “Don’t pretend we haven’t been fighting something for a long, long time, Ollie.”
I scrubbed a palm over my face and down my beard, searching for an explanation.
Searching for a vali
d reason for shutting her out.
The truth of why I broke her heart.
Without revealing the part of myself I couldn’t let her have. Not when it belonged to Sydney. Not when I couldn’t be trusted.
“Think we both know you are better off without me.”
A little scoff bled from her mouth. “I couldn’t decide that for myself?”
“You really think so?” It was hard to meet her eyes, but I forced myself to, bringing attention to what I’d done for the first time.
Like a dirty secret kept between us.
“Look what happened the last time I came to you.”
Pain lanced across her face.
I felt it right at the center of me.
Lash. Lash. Lash.
Ones my selfishness had inflicted.
But that was what it always was, wasn’t it?
Selfishness.
Refused to be that way anymore.
For a beat, she looked away, chewing on her bottom lip before she let out a small breath and asked, “Did you need me or were you just using me?”
Hurt leeched out in every word.
Unable to stop myself, I closed the distance between us and took her face between my palms, my voice grit. “I’ve always fucking needed you.”
She jarred, shocked by my sudden movement, and blinked up at me with those eyes that twisted me in two.
I loosened my hold, and my words quieted. “But just because I need you doesn’t mean I get to keep you.”
For a minute, I just got lost there. Looking at her.
Before I ripped myself away from her and turned all of my attention back to fixing dinner.
Guessed I might as well add foolish to that list of fucked-up qualities.
Because that was maybe the dumbest thing I could have given her. But for once, she deserved it.
A little bit of the truth.
She wasn’t looking at me as she fidgeted, those fingers moving out to fiddle with a dishtowel sitting on the counter. “I’m not sure how to move on from that night,” she admitted.
Sorrow had taken me whole when I looked over at her. “Which one?”
That was the crux of things. We had no way to move on. Both of us stuck, and I’d only made it worse.
Leaving her when she was sixteen and running back to her a year ago.
“Truce?” I mumbled, reiterating what she’d said.
Light laughter fell from under her breath. “Feels like a shaky one.”
I gave a tight nod. No question it was.
Shaky.
But she’d been my friend long before she’d been anything else.
So, I searched for some kind of lightness, the easy yet profound way we’d once been. “Probably. Just hold on to something when you move. One look at me, and you won’t be able to remain standing.”
It was all a tease with a tip of my lips.
She choked out a laugh. “Wow . . . someone really is full of himself.”
“Just keeping things real.”
Amusement danced across her pretty face.
So damned pretty.
Painfully pretty.
She was all smiles when she tipped the neck of her beer my direction. “To poor girls who can’t keep their heads on straight when they’re in your presence. May they forever see through the BS.”
I clinked my beer against hers and then lifted it in the air. “Believe me, baby, the outside looks way better than the inside.”
I let a little of the cold, hard truth sneak into my ribbing.
She took a sip of her beer before she tucked it up close to her chest as she stared at me, her voice close to a whisper. “I think you sell yourself short, Ollie. I’ve always been pretty fond of what’s on the inside.”
I tossed a tortilla onto the griddle I’d had heating with oil. It sizzled and hissed, and I focused on evening it out with the spatula.
“That’s an ugly place, Nikki. Believe me, you don’t want to get anywhere close to that. Not anymore.”
“What if I’ve just always wanted you for your body?”
Could feel her words take to the air, light and playful, the way we’d spent thirteen years. Acting like we didn’t really know each other.
Our interactions nothing more than a breezy tease when the wind that gusted beneath them threatened to be a dust storm.
She was all taunting smirks when I looked over at her.
Little Tease.
Probably the last thing I should do, but I went with it.
“Think I’m more than you can handle.”
A sexy twist of her lips had me stumbling. “Well, if that’s how you feel.”
She nodded, and a flash of sadness twined through her demeanor before she tipped her beer my direction. “Friends.”
I picked mine back up and clinked it to hers. “Friends.”
Problem was, having to remain friends with Nikki Walters was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do.
A half hour later, the girl’s contagious laughter was bouncing against the walls.
She popped the last bit of her taco into her mouth, wiped her hands with her napkin, and rocked back on the high-backed stool. “You’re such a liar. That was totally your fault.”
My laughter was low, way too amused, barriers down that’d been there for so many years. I shook my head as I sopped up a few pieces of meat that’d fallen from my taco, glancing up at her with a grin when I did.
“My fault? Are you kiddin’ me? Every bad idea I ever had was because of you. Tying that rope to that tree included. I said it wasn’t gonna hold me . . . and what did you say?”
Guilt twitched all over her flirty mouth. “I don’t remember.”
A rumble of amusement rolled around in my chest. “Think it went something like, ‘Ollie thinks he’s the shit, but he’s really nothin’ but a chicken shit.’ On repeat, of course.”
“No.” Her head shook in vigorous denial, but she was doing her best not to bust up in outright confession. Indigo eyes full of old affection.
The same kind gripped at my chest. Claws wanting to take hold.
I shook it off and focused on being friends.
“Yes. You were always the instigator, whispering in my ear, making me think I wasn’t a man if I didn’t go through with whatever you’d concocted.”
I wiped my hands and tossed my napkin onto the table, slinging my arm over the stool back, grinning at her. “Took it on myself to prove to you just what kind of man I was.”
Mischief moved across her face, honeyed locks of hair swishing across her cheeks, those freckles so fuckin’ sweet.
Had the intense urge to lean out and lick them.
Taste her.
That mouth and those lips and every inch of smooth, soft skin.
“Hey, it isn’t my fault you thought you had to be such a badass. Sounds like a personal problem to me.”
“More like I had my own, personal troublemaker.”
“And look who I was trying to keep up with. If anyone was the troublemaker, it was you.”
“And look who I was trying to impress.”
A blush kissed across her chest, rising with the energy that danced. Slowly. Quietly. Though just as intense.
Her tone turned wistful. “At least Kale discovered his true calling that day. He got really serious about setting your ankle.”
“That shit hurt like hell, too,” I told her through a chuckle.
Memories hit me hard.
One after one.
Like they were so close, I could take a step and tumble into them.
They called them the good old days.
For us?
They really were.
She bit her lip. Nikki wasn’t shy. She was just real. “I really am sorry you broke your ankle.”
I didn’t know what I was thinking, but I reached out and let my fingertips trail the defined curve of her cheek.
She trembled, and for a moment, she leaned into my touch before she pulled away.
Like she
was just then realizing she needed to stay away from me.
That I was dangerous.
I shook the heaviness off and climbed back into the tease, pretending I wasn’t treading choppy waters.
“Oh, sure you are. Who was it standing over me, laughing her ass off, holding her stomach, saying she wished she had a video camera so she could send it in to America’s Funniest Home Videos . . . thought you were gonna get rich off me.”
She tried to hold back a giggle. “Hey, I would have shared.”
Couldn’t keep my eyes from tracing her face.
Every inch.
I’d managed for so long.
Keeping her at a distance while still keeping her close.
It’s your fault.
I trusted you.
You were supposed to take care of her.
You promised, you’d take care of her.
Voices resonated from the cold valley planed out inside me.
I swallowed around the grief that thickened my throat, welcoming the reminder.
I couldn’t be trusted.
God, I knew I needed to get the fuck out of there, but there was something about being with her this way that made me want to stay.
Just for a little bit.
A few moments of the relief she brought all heaped with a load of torment.
I angled my head toward the television. “You want to catch a show before I head downstairs?”
“Are you sure you have time?”
“Why not? Cece doesn’t mind running things.”
“You know she’s just waiting to oust you from your position, right?” she said as she slipped off the stool, her suggestion a bit of a tease, though I thought maybe there was a true question behind it.
“Nah, Cece might look like a viper, but she’s harmless.”
“Harmless?” She let out a little laugh. “She doesn’t look harmless to me. She basically looks like she could annihilate the bar in one fell swoop.”
I plopped onto the couch. “You jealous?”
Nikki dropped down on the opposite end with an incredulous shake of her head. “Of the fact she’s stunning and scary and basically can command the bar with a single look? Hell, yes.”
Cece oozed sex and radiated intimidation. Men flocked to the bar, salivating and begging for a bone. Her attention the prize, the woman had the power to drop the poor suckers right to their knees.
So maybe she wasn’t entirely harmless. She just didn’t pose any threat to me.
Fight for Me: The Complete Collection Page 76
