More than Ollie had planned. Half the town had caught wind of the lake party, and people had kept showing up.
Wouldn’t have been that big of a deal had a bunch of chicks from their class not climbed in the bed of Rex’s truck to share the case of beer Rex’s older cousin had scored.
Clearly, they thought they were gonna nab a piece of the star quarterback and defensive end as well.
What made it worse was Ollie’s sister was there, sitting on the tailgate of the truck with her legs swinging over the edge.
Tonight, she looked pissed and bored and annoyed, and Ollie tried not to be annoyed right back.
He’d given it his best to convince her not to come tonight. He and Nikki had even concocted a story that Nikki wasn’t feeling well so she was staying home.
He’d planned to pick her up on the way so Sydney wouldn’t know. Guys wouldn’t question it since Nikki was always with him, anyway.
Plan was solid.
No harm. No foul.
That was until Sydney had shoved a bunch of stuff into a tote bag and jumped into his car, saying he wasn’t leaving without her.
Nikki had magically started feeling better.
Now, Nikki sat all the way on the other side of the fire, sitting on the same whitewashed log they’d dragged up from the lake when they’d all first started camping out here in middle school.
Those sweet freckles glimmered like glitter on her face as she watched him through the flames.
Her eyes dropped closed for a second, lashes casting a shadow on her cheeks.
God.
She was pretty.
So damned pretty he was sure he was going to lose his mind.
His insides twisted in a need that was close to painful, and he swore that the condom he’d brought was burning a hole in his back pocket that was as hot as the sparks that flickered from the pit.
Giggles rolled from beside him, and Ollie had to stop himself from rolling his eyes when he glanced that way and saw Jessica straddling Rex’s lap.
Sydney’s mouth pursed in a prissy way.
God, what was her problem?
She’d gotten so weird lately. She had to be catching on about him and Nikki. It wasn’t like she was an idiot.
But he couldn’t worry about that tonight.
They were going to tell her soon. This weekend.
After they were together.
All they wanted was this night.
Something special.
Rex laughed, and he set his hands awkwardly on Jessica’s waist.
Dude was such a pansy, acting like he wasn’t interested in getting laid. Hell, Ollie could hardly remember the last time Rex had a girlfriend.
He looked Rex’s way, grinning wide and covertly blocking Kayla from climbing into a similar position on his lap. “Stop being a pussy, dude. It’s about time you saw some action. Get that dick wet before it shrivels up and falls off.”
Rex laughed. “The hell? I get plenty of action.”
“Yeah. Complements of your hand.”
Sydney hopped off the tail, spun around, and crossed her arms over her chest. “You guys are such assholes. Can you stop being pigs for five seconds?”
Anger pinged at his ribs. Sydney had always been right there. He’d never had a minute to himself. To figure out who he was outside of watching over her.
And she thought she could judge them? Call them assholes when he was the one to bring her out there?
The one who’d always taken her everywhere.
“Take me home.” She was looking directly at Rex.
Jessica giggled and snuggled closer against his chest.
“Think he’d rather be spending his time kissing Jessica than running you around. Wouldn’t you, Rex?”
Ollie lifted his chin at Rex and Jessica. Prodding him.
Rex laughed before he kissed Jessica, so damned clumsily you’d think he’d never kissed a girl before.
But, hell, Ollie wasn’t joking.
It was about time his best friend saw some action.
Kale was already off with his new girlfriend, and damn, it would be nice if Rex had a distraction, too.
All he needed was to finally get Nikki alone.
“Told you not to come,” Ollie told her.
Hurt twisted up Sydney’s face, and crap, that was all it took for regret to start tugging at Ollie’s conscience. At that place carved out that would forever give up anything for his sister.
She was supposed to be his priority.
His best friend.
It tugged and it tugged.
Only it wasn’t as strong as his need for Nikki that pulled at the inside of him.
Two of them tethered and hooked.
Just one night. All he wanted was one night.
He looked at his sister, whose expression was so pinched with betrayal he almost apologized.
He swallowed it back, his voice a little rough when he said, “Go home, Sydney. Told you tonight wasn’t for you. Call Mom to come pick you up at the dock.”
Wounded disbelief glistened in her eyes as she looked at Ollie then turned her attention to Rex.
A beat passed.
Then two with no one saying anything.
Like she was waiting for someone to change their mind.
To tell her to stay.
Guilt clawed through Ollie, but he forced it down.
One night.
On a choked cry, she finally turned and started to walk away.
Nikki scrambled to her feet to go after her, and Ollie sent her a pleading glance.
Stay.
She blinked between them, torn, before she settled back onto the log.
All of them watched Sydney walk down the dirt road, her receding silhouette getting dimmer and dimmer before she disappeared around a bend.
Ollie breathed out, a loaded sound of frustration and relief. This was so messed up.
He watched as Nikki got up, clearly upset. She headed toward her things she’d left behind in one of the tents.
Pushing to standing, Ollie hopped over the side of the truck, feet landing hard on the dirt. “Got to take a piss.”
He skirted around the camp, going around the long way until he found Nikki standing with her head dropped. Without saying anything, he grabbed her hand and the rolled-up pallet he’d made.
Silently, he clutched her hand, guiding her through the maze of spindly trees.
The voices and laughter grew more distant the farther they went, the sound of the waterfalls growing more distinct.
Nikki finally tugged at his hand, and he spun around to face her.
His breath hitched.
Air gone.
It was the exact same thing it did whenever he looked at her.
That feeling sweeping through him with the strength of the falls that crashed into the lake below.
But her voice, it was pained and whispered. “I think we should go after her. This isn’t right.”
He dropped the pallet to the ground and gathered her face in his hands. “Just tonight, Nikki. I want it to be us. For one night. That’s all I’m asking for. Tomorrow, we’ll apologize to her. Confess everything. We’ll make it right.”
Those mesmerizing eyes searched his face. “Why can’t we do that right now?”
“Because you know it’s going to be a thing. She’s going to be upset. It would ruin tonight. It would ruin everything we have planned.”
Her gaze drifted, worry written in her expression. “I just hate the idea of her going home angry. Feeling like we don’t care.”
Nikki fiddled with the red woven bracelet she wore on her wrist. The one that matched Sydney and Ollie’s. Like if she touched it, she might be able to touch Sydney through the distance.
“She’ll understand. It might take her some time, but she’ll understand.”
Nikki looked out over the streams that ran over the smooth rocks and tumbled over the cliffs. “I just . . . don’t want her to be mad at me. When this comes out, I don’t wa
nt it to change things between her and me.”
He gathered her closer. “Is that what you’re so worried about?”
Nikki nodded, eyes dropping when she confessed, “I’ve been worried all week. So worried, Ollie. She’s been my best friend my whole life. I don’t want to ruin that.”
Ollie brushed his fingertips across the moisture on her cheek.
Moonlight poured from above, caressing her olive skin, spinning it into silk.
“You don’t need to worry. We’ll make this right. I promise. But for tonight, it’s just you and me.” He brushed his nose against hers. “And me and you.”
She set her delicate hands on his trembling stomach. “Us.”
“Us,” he murmured, so softly, a promise that came from his spirit and fell from his lips.
He took her hand again, picked up the pack, and silently wound her the rest of the way to the meadow secreted by a break in the trees.
It was the spot where he’d found her every single time they’d played hide and seek there at the lake.
Where they’d grown and learned and changed.
Where she’d run and hide and wait for him to come for her.
To find her.
He spread out the cushion and blankets, and they both knelt on their knees as he silently, slowly undressed her and she timidly undressed him.
A blush on her skin as she peeked up at him.
Energy roiled between them.
Soft surges.
Gentle prods.
She was shaking when she laid down beneath the covers, but it didn’t come close to the quakes that rolled through Ollie as he fumbled to cover himself.
He’d had sex with two other girls.
It hadn’t come close to feeling like this.
He was overwhelmed that Nikki trusted him with it.
With her.
He crawled under the covers with her, and he gathered her closer, holding her in a way he never had.
Their noses touched. Their breaths mingled. Their hearts joined.
And Ollie . . . he found her again, in their hidden spot, though this time, they would never be the same.
He knew as they moved beneath the moonlight that he was going to keep her.
That he’d give up anything for her.
Anything.
Anyone.
Protect her with all he had.
If she was lost, he would always find her.
That was what loving someone was all about.
Giving all of yourself.
Completely.
And Nikki Walters owned every part of him.
33
Nikki
I sucked in a shattered breath as I stumbled to stand, catching myself on the back of the chair.
“What did you just say?”
I’d still been staring at my sister.
Caught up in the fact she was there.
But there was no missing what Maggie had whispered to Nina after she’d looked at something on her phone.
“I’m sorry, Miss Nikki, I wasn’t trying to disrupt the group. My mama just texted me three times in a row, and I figured I’d better check to make sure my kids weren’t tearing her house down.”
I blinked, frantically shook my head, and tried to swallow around the sticky dread that had wrapped me in chains so quickly I was sure I was being strangled. “No . . . tell me what you just said. What you just whispered.”
She frowned. “They found a body out by the river near those old, abandoned buildings. News report said they think it’s that poor girl Sydney Preston who went missing all those years ago. So sad.”
No.
Oh . . . God . . . no.
My hand went to my stomach as my body bent in half, and I tried to draw air in to my lungs. Through that haze of disbelief and sorrow.
I only managed to draw in more.
Shock.
Anguish.
A chatter of uneasy, confused voices sounded, each one hitting me so hard they had to be boxing my ears.
I shoved my chair back, stumbling as I broke out of the circle that was suffocating me. My head spun, faster than the walls that canted and tipped.
At the same time, every evil force in the world pressed down.
I could feel it crush my heart right in the center of my chest.
I didn’t know how I made it across the floor, but my hand shot out to keep myself from dropping to my knees when I reached the stairwell, my feet failing beneath me.
Like everything else. My heart and my spirit and my belief.
From behind, an arm looped around my middle, holding me up. My sister’s voice was so soft as it moved through the daze. “I’ve got you, Nik. Oh, God, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m right here. I’ve got you.”
She helped me to stand. Eyes the same color as mine searched my face as I sagged against the wall. “I need . . . I need to get to Ollie.”
She nodded. “Okay . . . I’ll drive you.”
I didn’t even process the ride over. The grief was too overwhelming. Every single beat of my splintered heart was excruciating.
Rynna had texted me a hundred times, my phone blipping incessantly when I’d fumbled to turn it on where I sat in Sammie’s car.
Rynna: Are you okay?
Rynna: Call me.
Rynna: I’m here if you need me.
Texts from Lily had started up right after, a bunch of calls that I couldn’t bring myself to answer.
I had to get to Ollie.
My sister kept glancing over at me, kneading the wheel, so much concern and care on her face. “I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now.”
My head shook, voice barely breaking the air. “I . . . I always knew she was gone. But it’d always felt like her spirit had just been swept away. In my mind, I’d imagined she’d ridden off on the wind to find some new adventure. This . . .”
A gasp pulled from my spirit, and sickness bubbled and churned in that well of grief. That place deep inside that had been shored up and protected. A vat of misery and despair and questions.
That dam had been broken, and every ounce of it surged through me. A devastating flood.
She glanced at me before turning her attention back to the road. “They aren’t even sure it’s her.”
She cringed when she said it.
Because we both knew it was her.
It was Sydney.
Her name begged from the depths of me.
Sammie pulled to the curb in front of Olive’s. I jumped out and bolted for the door, flinging it open, gasping as my attention jumped around the space.
Ollie wasn’t behind the bar, and Cece lifted one of her defined brows and gave a shrug, but there was concern behind it.
And I knew.
I knew, I knew, I knew.
Ollie had already heard.
Dread balled in the pit of my stomach.
I didn’t slow as I raced down the hall and up the three flights of stairs to his loft.
My feet had finally found their purpose.
Ollie.
Ollie.
I burst through the door.
Then I skidded to a stop.
Dense darkness echoed back.
So dark it coated my eyes.
Coated my spirit.
Only the blips coming from the television that played illuminated what was stricken on his face.
Torment.
Agony.
Slowly, his gaze lifted to mine, as if he couldn’t process that I was there.
Vacant.
I could feel the distance grow so immense between us I had no idea how I would reach him.
Rushing for him, I dropped to my knees in front of him where he sat on the couch.
Unmoving.
“Ollie,” I whispered, desperation on my tongue. I lifted onto my knees so I could hold his face.
His beautiful, tortured face.
His eyes dropped closed, and there was nothing but pain on his lips. “Please, don’t touch me.”
<
br /> I clung to him tighter. “Ollie . . . I’m so sorry.”
As if my words had snapped him out of the daze, he flew to his feet, writhing as if he were being burned alive.
Misery in his eyes and alcohol on his breath. “This can’t be happening, Nikki. Tell me it’s not happening.”
I fumbled to standing, my arms across my middle as I tried to keep myself upright, as if I could physically hold myself together. “I’m so sorry”
What else was I going to say. That it was okay? Because this was most definitely not okay.
“Tell me what I can do,” I begged instead.
His brow pinched. “What can you do? You can’t do anything, Nikki. It’s already done. My sister is gone.”
Him saying it sent shards of glass blasting through me.
He whirled away, gripping fistfuls of his hair as a groan erupted from his soul.
His entire body clenched, and he harshly shook his head, voice gravel. “I was supposed to save her. I spent my whole life looking for her. Searching for her. Thinking someday, I would make this right. That I’d fix what I’d done. And I can’t fix it.”
A sob raked from him, and he dropped to his knees and buried his face in his hands.
“My sister is gone. Oh, God. She’s dead. She’s dead.”
Whimpers echoed from him.
A shattered, broken cry.
The man was falling apart in front of my eyes.
I wanted to hold him.
Fix him.
But neither of us were capable of fixing this.
He was right.
It was already done.
The only thing we could do was be there for each other in the middle of it.
Slowly, I inched toward him, kneeling as I set a hand on his arm.
He flinched.
“I’m right here, Ollie.”
Under my touch, I could feel the tremor roll through him.
Crushed, he finally turned his potent gaze on me. “I have no idea who the fuck I’m supposed to be.”
My mouth quivered, and I searched his face. “You’re supposed to be mine.”
Sorrow swam.
So thick.
So deep.
Quicksand.
“I don’t know how to do that when all I see when I look at you is Sydney standing at your side.”
Pain squashed my lungs.
Obliterating air.
Fight for Me: The Complete Collection Page 98
