by Emma Easter
Audrey shook her head slowly and said, “But when will that be, Ken? When exactly will we… no, you… be ready to have a baby?”
Ken shut his eyes briefly and opened them again. “I’m not sure. But I know we are not ready now.”
Anger boiled in Audrey’s stomach, and she got up from the sofa. She folded her arms and looked down at Ken. When he looked up at her, she said, “You know what, Ken? This is not just about you. You could try seeing things from my point of view. I’m getting older. In a few years, I will have very few viable eggs left. I want to have a baby right now.” She narrowed her eyes as she stared at him. “And who are you to tell me how I will feel when I have a baby? Yes, I love my job. But that could never take the place of a child. Just say the truth, Ken. You don’t want to have a baby for your own selfish reasons!”
Immediately as she uttered the words, she regretted them. Ken was anything but selfish. Still, his refusal to even try to see things from her point of view was annoying. Why he was so adamant about not having a baby right now was beyond her.
Ken stood up and faced her squarely. He looked her in the eye and said, “How can you say that?”
She knew she should apologize, but she refused to. Instead, she said, “Then tell me why we can’t have a baby now if it isn’t for a selfish reason.”
Ken replied, “I’ve already told you. You just want me to keep repeating myself over and over again.”
Audrey’s anger flared and she spat out, “Ken, you are a selfish man. You will deny me this one thing. Why?” She shook her head at him and marched out of the living room, her heart drumming with anger. She entered the bedroom, shed her clothes, and got into bed, still fuming.
After a while, she whispered to the Lord with tears in her eyes, “Why is he so stubborn? Why won’t he give in? I don’t want much. I just want a child, and so should he.”
Tears slipped down her cheeks, soaking her pillow. She dashed them away angrily. She certainly didn’t want Ken to see her crying. Taking in a deep breath, she looked at the door, expecting Ken to walk into their bedroom at any minute. But when he didn’t after some minutes, she shut her eyes. She turned and put a pillow over her head as her anger simmered down. She didn’t want to sleep, still angry with him, and so she kept waiting for him to come into the room so they could talk things through. But he didn’t. Ten minutes passed, and then another ten, until she began to feel sleepy. After a while, she fell asleep.
Chapter Two
Leila slowly sat up on the bed as someone opened her bedroom door. When she saw it was Dauda, she shut her eyes and grimaced in pain.
Dauda said to her, “The doctor is here to see you, Leila.”
She pressed her lips together and opened her eyes. For a long minute, she stared at Dauda and then said in a small voice, “The doctor is here… again? But she came by yesterday.”
“This is another doctor, Leila. We have to find the cause of this sickness. You’ve been ill for more than five months now and you still haven’t recovered.”
She sighed. “But doctors keep coming and they still haven’t found out what is wrong with me, Dauda. I’m tired of seeing doctors almost every day. Their examinations last for so long and are a little invasive.”
Dauda came and sat beside her on the bed. He put his hand on her shoulder and she shrank back. Since she’d arrived here almost six months ago, he thankfully hadn’t touched her. That was thanks to her pretend illness. She’d had to feign being ill after the first few days of being here. Dauda had been busy with some business deals and had not had time to send for her at all.
She had felt great relief at that, until the day he told Rekiya, the senior wife, to tell her to prepare to perform her ‘wifely duties’ that night. She had become sick with worry and had begged off that night due to the illness. After that day, she knew she had to do something. And so she had pretended to be sick the next time he sent for her. And the next. Due to her constant “illness” he stopped insisting that she fulfill what he called her wifely duties. She was beyond thankful to the Lord for that. But she knew that the more doctors who came to see her, the higher the likelihood that her deception would be found out. She knew she couldn’t continue to pretend for much longer, especially as none of the doctors had found out what was wrong with her.
Dauda sighed loudly and stood up. He looked down at her and said, “Since you are tired, you can rest for now. But the doctor will come back in a few hours’ time. When she arrives, please try to describe in detail all the symptoms you have. Okay?”
Leila nodded slowly. When his eyes glittered as his gaze swept over her, she shuddered. He turned around, and she watched as he left the room and shut the door. When he was gone, she breathed a huge sigh of relief and stretched out on her bed again.
I cannot continue like this, she thought, looking up at the ceiling. Because she’d been pretending to be ill, she couldn’t really leave her room the way she had been dying to. In fact, she had been lying almost continuously on this bed for months. The pretend illness had saved her from having to sleep with Dauda, which would have been a small death to her, but this was no way to live either.
She sat up again, leaned back against her pillow, and looked around the room. It was lavishly furnished, just like the other rooms in the house, but she found no pleasure from the wealth that surrounded her. Every day since she’d arrived here, her heart had ached continuously for Malik, and for Zainah. The only thing she held on to and that brought a measure of comfort was knowing Zainah was alive and was now probably married to her one true love, Faizan. If only she could experience that same happiness with Malik. But the Lord had not seen fit to answer her prayers.
She yearned with all her heart for a Bible to read, but there was none around. But that was another thing that this feigned sickness had saved her from. What would have happened to her if she were up and about and had to be forced to worship as a Muslim? By now, she would either have forcefully been converted to Islam—which she would never do—or met her demise.
She sat up to look out the window at the grounds of the mansion and sighed wearily. This house was like a fortress where there was no way of escape. She lay back down and soon fell asleep.
Sometime later, she felt someone tap her shoulder and she gradually awoke. Opening her eyes, she saw it was Rekiya.
“Leila,” Rekiya said softly. “Dauda said you looked much better when he came to see you earlier today. He wants me to check and see if you are well enough to come to his room tonight.”
Fear suddenly gripped Leila and her heart raced.
Rekiya smiled and touched her forehead. “What should I tell him?” she asked.
Leila looked at Rekiya and silently sighed in relief. The older woman had been kind to her since she’d moved into Dauda’s house. She would tell Dauda whatever Leila told her to say to him.
“I feel feverish, Rekiya,” Leila said, shutting her eyes. “I don’t think I can go to Dauda today.”
Rekiya nodded. “I will tell him,” she said and then left the room.
Leila couldn’t relax anymore, as she expected Dauda to come into her room any moment and call her bluff. After the first two days of pretending to be ill, he had come into her room, touched her forehead and said, “You don’t have a temperature.” He had frowned at her and said, “Are you pretending to be ill in order to avoid sleeping with me?”
She turned her face away from him and pretended to shiver, and he had backed away. After he left her room that day, she had sat up on her bed, knowing without a doubt in her heart that she had to keep pretending to be ill. She had no choice. There was no way she could bring herself to sleep with him.
Every day since then, she’d pretended to be ill. She stopped eating almost totally. That, more than anything else, convinced Dauda there might be something really wrong with her. When she started to waste away, he had called a doctor to examine her.
“I can’t find anything wrong with her,” the female doctor had said. “However, I wi
ll run some more tests and see if there’s anything I can find.”
The doctor had run her tests and found nothing. However, Leila had continued to shiver and even threw up the little food Rekiya had forced her to eat a few times a week. More doctors had come, but none could find what was wrong with her.
After a while, she knew she couldn’t continue to eat only several times a week and had started to eat more frequently, albeit sparingly. She had probably added weight again. That would explain why Dauda had looked at her with interest today and told Rekiya she was looking much better. She had to cut down on her meals again.
She huffed as she remembered that another doctor would be coming later today to examine her. She was totally tired of lying on this bed and having Rekiya come to her room to help her do things she knew very well she could do for herself but could not afford to.
“I can’t continue to do this anymore, dear Lord,” she whispered. “You have to help me find a way out of here.”
Her door opened and Rekiya walked in. She sat on the bed beside Leila and frowned in concern, as she usually did whenever she came into the room. “You do look a bit better today, Leila. But you’re still too thin. Let me tell Nadiya to increase your food portion today.”
Leila looked at her and felt sorry for her. Rekiya really did care for her. There was no reason why she should, but she did. If only she could share the gospel of Jesus Christ with the senior wife. Leila smiled sadly at Rekiya. With all her heart she wanted to, but she couldn’t. It was too dangerous. She took a deep breath and said, “Okay, Rekiya, you can tell Nadiya to increase my portion today. But I cannot promise I will keep it down.”
Rekiya smiled sadly at her. “The food the chef made today is delicious. I doubt you will throw it up. But, even if you throw some up, at least some of it will stay in you. You need as much nourishment as you can get.”
Leila took her hand and smiled at her. “Thank you, Rekiya. You’ve been so kind to me since I came to live in Dauda’s house as his wife.”
Rekiya smiled back. “You remind me so much of myself when I first married Dauda. I loved him so much.” A wistful expression appeared on her face. “I still do.” She talked for a short while about how her life had been when she got married.
Leila tilted her head toward her and said, “I’ve always wondered how you felt when Dauda married a second wife and then a third… and then me.”
Rekiya blinked rapidly, surprise etched on her face. For a minute, she didn’t answer, and then she shrugged. “I always knew it was going to happen. We were only married for a year when he decided to wed another girl. I took it in my stride. It’s his right to have more than one wife.”
For a second, her expression became wistful again, and then she sighed loudly. She put on a nonchalant look that didn’t fool Leila and said, “As long as he takes care of all of us, I have no need to worry. Neither do you, Leila. We all have nothing to worry about.”
Leila felt like throwing up.
Rekiya must have read her thoughts, because she said, “I know you don’t like the idea of sharing your husband with other women, but at least Dauda is a good man. His brother, Jibril, however, is nothing like him. Jibril is a monster. Your friend was lucky to get the marriage dissolved.”
Leila smiled again and nodded, even though she wanted to scream, “What about me?” She was happy for Zainah, but she wanted her own marriage dissolved as well so she could marry Malik.
Rekiya got up and looked down at Leila. She said, “It’s a pity you’re so ill. I will soon go to my yearly shopping vacation abroad. As usual, Dauda said I can pick any other wife to go with me. I would gladly have picked you, but unfortunately you are in no state to leave the country.”
Leila’s eyes widened in surprise and then panic. This might be the opportunity she’d been praying for since she’d come to Saudi Arabia. Rekiya began to leave the room and her panic increased. She had to act now.
Leila called back to Rekiya.
“Yes?” Rekiya turned around.
“What country are you going to?”
Rekiya came back and sat beside her. She touched Leila’s hand and smiled. “I’m not yet sure where I want to go this time. I think it might be France or Italy. Why do you ask?”
Leila’s heart began to race. She forced herself to wear a detached look as she shrugged and asked, “Have you already selected another wife to go with you?”
“No, I haven’t,” Rekiya answered. “But I think Binta will do.” She looked pointedly at Leila. “Like I said, I wish you were well enough to come with me instead.”
“And is Dauda traveling with you?” Leila asked.
“No. But my brother will. Whenever Dauda cannot come with me, he does.”
More eagerly than she wanted to, Leila asked, “What if I get better now? Can I come with you?”
Rekiya stared at Leila with an incredulous expression on her face. She said, “You’ve been sick for months. How will you suddenly just get better?”
Leila sighed. She had spoken much too eagerly. If she wasn’t careful, Rekiya would suspect she wasn’t really ill. Still, she couldn’t let this opportunity pass her by. This might be her one and only chance to escape this place. She said to Rekiya, “I am already beginning to feel better. And you and Dauda said that I look better also. I think that by tomorrow, I will be myself again.”
Rekiya chuckled and said, “I know how you feel, Leila. You’re so eager to leave the house and go on holiday that you just want to pretend you aren’t ill anymore. But even if you’re getting better, you need to stay at home and try to fully recuperate. Traveling at this time will do you no good.”
Leila put her palms together in a pleading gesture and looked up at the senior wife. “Please, Rekiya. Please. I am getting better. I feel so stir crazy. If I continue to stay in this room for much longer, I think I’ll go mad.”
Rekiya frowned. “I don’t know, Leila. I will be travelling in a few days’ time. Will you be well enough to travel by then?”
Leila nodded eagerly and then scolded herself silently for her over-eagerness. She forced herself to temper down her excitement. Rekiya would definitely suspect something if all of a sudden she went from being sick to being totally well. She injected pain into her voice as she sat up straight and said, “I already feel much better now. Once I start to eat regularly, I think I’ll be good as new.”
For a long moment, Rekiya studied her face and Leila was tempted to look away. But if she did, she would give away her guilt. She stared back unflinchingly, albeit with a pained look on her face. Finally, Rekiya smiled and relented. “Okay, if you start to eat regularly and walk around the house by this time tomorrow, I will tell Dauda that you are better and can travel with me.”
Leila wanted to shout for joy, but she held herself back. She still had to plot her escape. Just traveling with Rekiya was not the end of her plan. She had to find a way to get money for her trip to Mali to find Malik. She also needed to get permission from Dauda to fly to Mali, which of course would never happen. That meant she had to find a way to change the settings on Dauda’s Absher account somehow and grant herself permission to board a flight to Mali and escape this forced marriage forever. Rekiya had unwittingly told her all about it when they were talking about her many travels abroad one day.
But how will I get to Dauda’s phone and change the settings on his Absher account? She didn’t know how that was going to happen. Plus, she needed God’s special grace to escape being caught before she got on the plane. It was a lot to think about and plan out, but it would be worth it if she succeeded. If not…
All she could do was depend on the Lord to help her escape. “Thank you, Rekiya,” she said.
Rekiya nodded and stood up. “I will go and tell Nadiya to serve your meal now and this evening, I will tell the chef to prepare a sumptuous meal for you.” She smiled at Leila. “Make sure you eat well. If you’ve not added weight by the time I am ready to leave, you won’t be traveling with me. Okay?”
Leila smiled shyly and said, “I will.”
After Rekiya left, Leila pondered on what the first wife had said to her. She’d always known that whenever she had the chance to escape this place, she would go back to Mali to find Malik. For a brief moment on the day she came here, she had not been sure. With everything that happened in Mali, with Karim Keita capturing her and Zainah, forcing them to marry his friends, being thrown into that awful shack for days and threatened with death, she had been momentarily unsure about the wisdom of going back. Instead, she had briefly considered going back to the women’s camp.
But it had not taken long to realize she still wanted to be with Malik with all her heart, no matter the cost. She knew she would take whatever risk was needed in order to find him and be with him. Even if it meant facing Zainah’s father again or being imprisoned by him. This time, though, she intended to be very careful. Most of all, she would depend on the Lord to help her and protect her.
“Oh, Lord Jesus, please help me,” she prayed. “Help me to escape this time.” This shopping trip with Rekiya was a chance from heaven and she couldn’t afford to mess it up. She would find a way to escape, and she would find Malik, no matter how dangerous it was or how long it took. And then they would be together at last. For now, though, she had to concentrate on adding weight and making sure she went on that trip.
Chapter Three
Lauren knocked on the front door of Trisha’s house and waited. She and Trisha had grown even closer over the past few months and now she told Trisha almost everything she was up to. Today, she wanted to talk to Trisha about the new decision she was about to make. Every single day now felt like a struggle. Loneliness continuously consumed her. She wanted to be in a relationship again, but a loving relationship that was abuse-free this time. She smiled as the door opened and Trisha peered at her.
