He placed a soft kiss on my temple. “I know it isn’t.”
As we stood together on the balcony, Aries took the time to show me much, much more. He began with his memories before the slumber, at a time when things were relatively peaceful among them, even if there were Zodia that Aries didn’t particularly care for.
Then he shared other feuds and battles that had divided them over time – back when there were thirteen Zodia, with twelve divided among the elements. Three Zodia each represented earth, air, fire, and water, with the thirteenth Zodia, Ophiuchus being the decider. His role was to remain neutral and mediate the feuding that inevitably happened amongst the Zodia.
Ophiuchus was a feathered, humanoid dragon with membranous wings the color of pomegranate and eyes a deep, saturated plum color. Surprisingly, there was an impassive hollowness to him that at first reminded me of Pisces.
My memory of Pisces was that she was cruel and vicious. She saw a threat and sought to end it, no more concerned about the implications of murder than the coldest killer; however, she did possess emotion. I wasn’t sure that Ophiuchus did. Perhaps that was how he decided things; unemotionally, completely based upon logic without consideration to his personal feelings. Maybe his nothingness was what consumed him in the end, causing him to take his own life.
When he died, a series of explosive wars erupted among the Zodia. Wars they fought for themselves. Wars they made their people fight on their behalf. When Aries refused to subject his people to such fighting and moved them to the great plains that were considered neutral ground, the Zodia turned their armies upon Aries’s people and lands.
That was what broke him. What made him concoct the plan to build a false symbol of peace and lure them into it, knowing they wouldn’t be able to leave. Knowing he would whisper words that held binding power and magic. Incantations that would put them all to sleep.
He pulled his head away from mine and reached for my hand, his claws lazily tracing gentle circles over my palm. “You see, this isn’t the first thing that has caused a rift between us.”
“You mean me?” I teased half-heartedly.
“I mean the fact that I deceived them and used a power none of them knew about to put them to sleep. And the fact that I never meant for them to awaken again,” he admitted. “I wasn’t strong enough to kill them, but it was the only thing I could do for the world they were tearing apart.” He paused and seemed to be choosing his words carefully. “The battles didn’t matter to them. The bloodshed was for sport at that point, nothing more than an amusement to pass the time. I didn’t find the loss of life amusing.”
“How did you put yourself to sleep?” I asked.
“With the same incantation.”
“How did you know the words? Or that it would work?”
With his free hand, he pounded his heart. “I knew it here. The words came to me. And in my heart, I knew they felt right and that I had to be the one to end this. I just wish it had worked permanently. And if that wasn’t possible, I wish no one would’ve found the temple.”
“Can I see the temple you built for them?”
He nodded and pressed his head to mine again, so gently it felt like a whisper, like the flutter of eyelash against skin.
The temple wasn’t built above the earth, but carved into the bedrock; a subterranean labyrinth, finer than anything I could imagine in antiquity. The rock of the walls, floors, and ceiling was polished to a glossy shine. Mercury streams flowed under and through the temple. There were statues carved in the likeness of each Zodia in the largest room hewn from the earth. And beside each statue, a smooth stone slab, like the one Aries had been laying on when Kes took me to wake him.
“I hate that you’re sorry you woke.”
And I hated that in a way, I was sorry they had, too.
Aries was good. I thought Aquarius was, too. And maybe there were more that could be considered fair. (Virgo not included.) But the Zodia who weren’t like them – the dangerous ones – made me wish they’d never woken. Even though it hurt my heart to think of Aries leaving, of him going back into his tomb and going still again.
Belatedly, I realized that with our heads pressed together, he could see and hear my thoughts.
“Don’t feel ashamed for thinking what everyone feels – including me, Larken. There are things that should stay buried. We are among them.”
19
Dinner was strangely peaceful. The tension between Aries and Xavier, which at one point threatened to smother us all, was nowhere to be found. I sat at Aries’s right hand, Xavier sat across from me, and Kes sat at my right, opposite Aries.
Maybe I felt calm because there was no haughty Zodia looking down her nose at me or telling Aries he should forget I even existed, that I was nothing. Maybe it was because he’d chosen to ignore her hateful advice.
If it truly had to be that way, and he had to treat me as though I didn’t matter, I would’ve believed I didn’t matter to him. Who could do that to someone they cared about? I didn’t want to be with anyone who could make me feel so unimportant. I wanted someone who would fight for me.
Aries was fighting. He was opening up. Sharing his past, his present, and talking occasionally about the future. And not just his, but mine.
Xavier asked me to hang out after we ate. I could see Aries’s chest rise and pause for my answer. He looked to my friend and gave a subtle nod, his eyes sharpening on Xavier’s features.
“Sure,” I said, trying to keep the question from my voice. “We could go to the balcony, if you want.”
Xavier quickly agreed.
What is going on? I didn’t have the hair-raising, pit-of-the-stomach bad feeling I got when things really went wrong, but something was off. I hated not knowing what.
Xavier and I walked to my balcony and watched thin, fast-moving clouds race across the sky, the moonlight winking between them.
“Dinner was… quiet,” he observed, bracing his hands on the balustrade.
“I thought it was nice.”
He turned to face me. “Can I ask you something?”
My brows knitted, but I smoothed them before answering. “Of course.”
“We’re friends, right?”
“Is that your question?” I teased.
“I’m serious.”
I stood up straighter at his solemn tone. “Yeah, we’re friends.”
“Would you tell me if Aries had plans to attack the other Zodia?”
“Why would he do that?” I asked. My brows knitted. Why is he worried about them?
Xavier raked a hand through his hair. “I’m worried about my family.”
I let out a pent-up breath. I could understand that. “I have family in other territories, too, Xavier.”
“I know. I just… I feel helpless to do anything.”
“We are,” I rasped. “Any of us would do anything in their power to bring their loved ones back from wherever they are right now, but we are powerless, Xavier. You’ll drive yourself insane if you think for a moment there’s anything you can do.”
“But they slept before. Maybe we can find whatever put them under!” he suggested, desperation lacing his voice. “Aries did it; he must know. You’re close to him. I bet he’d tell you how he did it. He’s obsessed with you.”
I shook my head. “He wouldn’t tell me that. He’d be crazy to. And he’s not obsessed.”
Xavier’s brow popped. “Seriously?”
I looked away from him.
“I can’t give up this easily,” he spat. “And I can’t believe you can accept this so easily. Unless he’s brainwashing you or something.”
“I’m not being brainwashed, Xavier. But I haven’t heard of anything we can do to stop them.”
Xavier smiled. “There’s the fire in your eyes. You might not want to admit it, but you’re looking for the same thing I am:
a way to end this, once and for all.”
20
I couldn’t sleep. It was the middle of the night and I’d spent restless hours tossing and turning, trying to force myself to drift back into blissful darkness, but Xavier’s words kept playing through my mind. Giving up on sleep, I pulled on jeans and layered my coat over my ‘traditional’ dress and climbed to the balcony where a kind Guardian followed me, hovering at the door in case I needed him.
He was older than me, maybe late twenties, with beautiful dark hair, skin, and eyes. His eyes looked as troubled as I felt. I wondered about him, about his life. Was he married? Did he have children?
Helena said her partner played the violin. Before the Zodia woke, she had a life. She loved. And while she still did, the two weren’t enjoying the peace they had before.
If Aries died, so would his people, and so would his Guardians.
I thought of humans attacking the Zodia. The small group here that Xavier warned me about was probably just a drop in an ocean of outraged humans. There would be attacks. There would be attempts to kill the Zodia. In every territory. Under every sign.
If Taurus fell, Dad would fall with him. And though Aries extended his protection, I would die, too. If Libra was killed, Mom would die with her.
It was all such a mess.
I missed my parents so much. They had to be terrified for us. Dad saw that we were okay, but while I was thankful for that brief glance, it wasn’t enough. You never knew how precious someone was until they were stripped away. I learned that from Kestrel at the age of ten, but forgot it somewhere along the way.
Being separated must be killing my parents. Dad loved Mom so much. He showed her every day in a million different ways. He told her. He slipped little post-its into her lunch box, telling her how she made him a better man just by being her. She would giggle when he called and absolutely glow, smiling like they’d just met and hadn’t been married twenty years. Like they hadn’t had hard times at all.
The hard times made them stronger, and they learned to lean on and support one another through each one. If one fell, the other picked them up. If one soared, the other grounded them. It was beautiful to witness. Our friends always wanted to be at our house because our parents were awesome. They were fun, and as long as we stayed out of trouble, fairly lenient. But I knew it was their love that drew everyone in.
Love – genuine love – was magnetic, causing people to naturally gravitate toward it.
I took a deep breath and stared at the stars, hoping Mom and Dad saw them and thought of me. I hoped the stars gave them a sense of peace and let them know Kes and I were okay, watching the same stars.
Footsteps came from behind. I expected the dark-haired Guardian, but found my brother approaching instead.
“Hey.”
Kes settled beside me. He pinched his lips tight before speaking, the thing he always did when he was about to tell me something I wouldn’t like. “What I’m about to tell you will be hard to hear.”
I stiffened and turned to him. “What?”
“Xavier has been removed from the castle. He was given a new dwelling and will be watched.”
I gasped. “Why?”
“You know why.”
“He told us before anyone acted, Kes! And he promised to talk to them and tell them what would happen if they managed to somehow kill a Zodia.”
“It wasn’t just about that. He’s a danger to you,” Kes argued.
“Tell me he wasn’t hurt,” I begged.
“Of course he wasn’t.”
My laugh sounded like a half-sob. I threw my hands up. “He’s my only friend. Or he was.”
He shifted uncomfortably, like a sail flapping in the wind instead of catching the steady breeze.
“If I can’t have a life, what’s the point of living here, Kes?”
He shook his head. “Don’t talk like that.”
“Why? How is any of this worth it?”
It wasn’t. And this wasn’t just about Xavier, or that he was brought here to keep me company and taken away just as quickly. Kes didn’t want to admit it, but just existing wasn’t living. More than anything, I wanted to feel alive.
We were both quiet for several moments.
“Xavier had an interesting thought; I’m sure you heard it. Why don’t they all pledge to a human? Then they would all be the same strength again.”
“That still leaves the small issue of Aries betraying them.”
I looked at my brother appraisingly. “Should he have done it?”
He was quiet, picking at his shoelaces to stall for time. “Yes, but he should’ve buried them where they couldn’t possibly be unearthed. We thought he had.”
Well, they couldn’t have been more wrong. They underestimated human curiosity. The news story Kes and I heard breaking on the way to school the morning the world fell apart had been about the Zodia’s tomb. Archaeologists exploring the South American jungle found the tomb’s entrance and broke the seal holding them inside. Whatever spell made them sleep had broken, and they’d awoken with a vengeance.
“Aries wants to see you.”
“No.”
Kes sighed. “Larken.”
“I said no. I don’t want to see him right now.”
Kes looked toward the door and shook his head at the tall Guardian.
“I don’t want to see him tomorrow, either. We need space.”
I was upset. Not necessarily about Xavier, even though I didn’t like that he’d been asked to be my companion and then shoved out the door just as quickly. I just… no one was telling me what was going on. I was in the dark, as usual, and I was sick of it.
Kes gave me a look that said he wasn’t sure how long I’d be able to keep Aries away, but I didn’t care. Not when I didn’t know if I’d live through the next hour.
“I need a bath,” I said.
“It’s the middle of the night.”
“I don’t care!” I snapped. I really didn’t want one, but I needed one. I hadn’t considered taking one since the Pisces incident… and since then, had only run into the bathroom to use the toilet or brush my teeth, then scurried back out like a frightened child. “Can you ask Helena to stay with me? Please?”
“I’ll ask her,” he agreed, vanishing without another word.
I left the balcony, passing the tall Guardian who stood at attention. “I don’t envy you,” I told him when I got to the steps.
“I don’t envy you, either,” he replied in a much softer, kinder tone than the one I’d offered him.
I slipped past him and made my way to my room to gather my things. When I turned back around, Helena was yawning in the hallway. “I’m sorry,” I grimaced, suddenly feeling very much like a spoiled brat.
She waved me off. “Eh, girl’s gotta bathe.”
I had an ulterior motive in asking for this bath and for her specifically. I needed an opinion from someone I trusted, and something in my gut said I could trust her. She wasn’t male, my brother, pledged, or a Zodia, so she had a lot going for her.
The tub had already been filled. The humidity slid comfortingly over my skin as I walked in and placed my things on the counter. Helena told Kes to go… do whatever he did and leave us alone for a while.
“Watch her.”
“I’m quite adept, Kes,” she snipped. “I won’t leave the room until she does.” She brushed her lavender hair out of her eyes and closed the door, locking it.
“There,” she breathed. “He’s gone.” She crossed her arms, waiting.
“I need your opinion.”
“I figured you needed to talk.”
I told her about the entire situation, most of which she knew, but some of it was news – like Xavier saying there were those who wanted to attack Aries. “Okay,” she said, processing it all. “Let me ask you a question: what
do you want, Larken?”
“I don’t want anyone I love to die. And I don’t want to die, either.”
“The thing with your dad… Taurus is using him as bait. You can’t take it. No matter what happens to him. If you want to live long enough to protect your mom and Kes, you can’t go after your dad.”
“How can I not?” I whispered.
“You’ll damn us all,” she said honestly. “Aries. Kes. All the Guardians. All the people you’ve seen gathered here. Every one of us will die.”
I didn’t want to think about giving up my dad, no matter what she claimed. But deep in my marrow, I knew what she said was true. Taurus only brought him here to show me that he had power over him and by extension, me. But I wouldn’t let him kill thousands just to save my dad. He wouldn’t want that. He’d be furious.
I just hoped the knot of guilt in my chest went away. Even thinking about giving up on him made me sick.
As she started loosening the knots on my dress, she cursed when she saw the bruises on my stomach. “They’re getting worse.”
“That’s what bruises do. They spread and blossom and look worse before they heal.” I slipped into the water, hyper-aware of every ripple that disturbed the surface, and quickly scrubbed with a bar of soap. Helena brought my shampoo over, and then pulled a razor from her bag. “Thank you.”
“We’ve all lost things,” she replied, sitting on the edge of the steps with a thoughtful expression. “I remember how things were when I was made. The peace was new, tentative, after many years of war. I thought their slumber was for the best. But it wasn’t at first. After the Zodia went to sleep, people struggled. On personal levels and on a global scale, conflict rose.”
“How were you – Guardians – made?”
“Aries’s best friend, a human, died when the Zodia attacked our territory because Aries refused to join their war games, or subject his people to it. He captured his soul and breathed it into the body of another human who was dying of disease. He healed the body and gave his friend a new purpose.”
“Kes,” I breathed.
She nodded. “They were friends long before he became a Guardian, and he vowed his new life to protect Aries and his people. Aries made it so that Kes’s soul would pass from body to body, once the owner’s soul left. Kes could heal it and remain inside until it, too, gave out.”
Things That Should Stay Buried Page 20
