by T. S. Joyce
Oh, she could tell Haydan wasn’t lying when he said he didn’t feel the same as the rest of his crew about mates. His bear was right there, in his eyes, turning them as silver as the moon, and the constant rumble in his throat said his inner animal didn’t give a single fuck about protecting her. He’d just as soon eat her as defend her.
But there was something about Haydan the man that she had trusted instantly when she’d seen him at the bar. She didn’t know how Matt had known he would show up here tonight and, frankly, she didn’t care. Her brother was a lot smarter than anyone gave him credit for.
God, why was she shaking this badly? Probably because there was a half-Changed pissed off grizzly shifter in a cramped Jeep with her. The hairs on the back of her neck were standing up on end, and her skin was beginning to tingle.
“Are you okay to drive?” she asked. “Drinking and driving isn’t just dangerous for you, you know. It’s dangerous for the other people on the road.”
Haydan snorted and shook his head. “And the nagging has begun.”
She frowned at a juicy bug that splatted against the windshield. Crap, he was right. “Sorry.”
“Sheeyit,” he muttered and jerked the Jeep to the side of the road. He slammed on the brake and threw it into park. “See, this is why I was telling your asshole brother I wasn’t going to be any good at this.”
“At what?”
“Protecting anyone. Here I have you for ten minutes, and what do I do? Drive on two shots of whiskey. You drive. I don’t even feel buzzed anymore, but it would be just my luck that we go over a cliff tonight.”
“Okay, that’s a disturbing mental image. You’ll have to tell me where to go.” She jogged around the front of the ride and settled behind the wheel while he buckled his seatbelt. “And my brother’s not an asshole. Don’t talk about him like that.”
“Ha. That’s rich. Matt’s trouble. Don’t be blinded because of familial ties, Cas.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Why not? I don’t get to call you a pet name? Is that number four on your rules?”
“My name is Cassia Lisa Belle. If you feel like calling me anything, Cassie is nickname enough.”
“You got it, Cas.”
She gripped the wheel and hit the gas a little too hard just to get him to stop talking. “You know, if you really knew Matt or the things he’s been through or what he’s done for me, you wouldn’t have that awful opinion of him.”
“Does any of his mysteries make it okay for him to sleep with every woman he sees and ditch them the next day? Or to kiss women who say no? Because he definitely did that with one of my crew. He even bit her lip. Not deep enough to Turn her, but just to piss off her mate. I know what I see, and Matt’s a dick.”
“Nah, you’re looking at it wrong. You can’t compare Matt’s actions against normal shifters, because he’s not normal. He’s searching. That’s why he’s acting like that.”
“Searching for what?”
“A connection. For someone who makes him feel. I gave up on that when we were kids, but Matt won’t let it go. It’s stupid to chase something that doesn’t exist, but I admire him for holding onto hope like that.”
Haydan went quiet and stared out his window, scraping his thumb across the short stubble on his jaw. Minutes dragged on in silence until at last he said, “So Matt’s problem is with his bear?”
“I’m not talking about my brother anymore.”
“Adopted brother. Is that why your last name is Belle? What happened to your real family?”
Cassie inhaled sharply at the pain that slashed through her middle. Don’t think about them. “Matt is as real as any family can be to me. He practically raised me.”
Haydan jerked his attention to her. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-six.”
“And how old is Matt?”
“Thirty-two.”
“You were raised by someone only six years older than you?”
She didn’t answer. It was plain and obvious that Haydan wouldn’t understand their family dynamics, and she sure as shit wasn’t sharing anything about how she’d met Matt. Those stories were red and full of pain and would be buried with her the day she died, shared with no one but Matt and Jake. Jake. More pain, and she nearly doubled over. Carl had killed him when he’d challenged for alpha. Her throat grew tight, and it was hard to breathe, but dammit, she wasn’t losing it over her last mate. Not while she was in here with Haydan. She didn’t bear his mark yet, and showing him what a raw end of the deal he was getting wasn’t going to make it happen any faster.
“I have a proposition,” Haydan said low.
“Okay.” Her voice faltered, and he jerked his gaze to her again. She refused to take her eyes off the road, but she could almost smell his confusion.
“I don’t want a mate. I don’t want you as a mate—”
“Haydan, please—”
“No, let me finish. I know you’re in a tough spot, so we can play the game for a little while. I’ll call your alpha—”
“Former alpha—”
“Whatever. I’ll call your former alpha and tell him you’re my claim. What’s he going to do? Come here and check the mark himself? Nah, if he’s heard anything about my crew, he won’t set foot in these mountains without declaring war between black bears and grizzlies, and no offense, but it wouldn’t exactly be a fair fight unless you had double our numbers, which you don’t. And when his interest fades, you can go on your merry way, no strings attached. We aren’t bonding anyway, princess, so no harm no foul. I’ll protect you until the dust clears, and then you can leave and be happier for it.”
“What will I call you then?” she asked, baffled. This couldn’t work…could it?
“You can call me mate, but likely my crew will hear the lie in it. Best put some gusto behind it if you’re going to use that word. But between us, we’ll be friends.”
“With benefits.”
“Cas, you don’t have to fuck me for this to work.”
“I want to smell like you.”
“Jesus, woman.” He shook his head and ran his hand over his short hair. “I think sex is a bad idea. Turn right here.”
Cassie turned onto an uneven road that angled toward the mountains, her headlights drifting over piney woods and brush that lined both sides of the narrow two-laner. “Because of your bear?”
“No, my bear thinks it’s a great fuckin’ idea. I haven’t slept with anyone in a while.”
“You haven’t?”
Haydan huffed a laugh. “What, you’re surprised I haven’t just gone around banging every woman I see? That’s Matt’s gig, not mine. I’m no first-timer, but I’m choosier about my bed-mates. And why do we keep circling back around to sex?”
“Because… Okay, it’s clear we are from two different cultures. Maybe it’s a bigger deal in mine. Sex is how I keep my animal sated. I don’t think I can live in your house and not want it from you. And no, it’s not that I care about you. It’s that you’re hot as fuck and I can see your boner from here, and I want to see the rest of your tattoo.”
“Okaaay,” Haydan drawled out, a smile in his voice.
“Sorry. I don’t know why I said all that. You make me a little nervous. Er…your animal makes mine nervous.” Or something.
“You’re killing me right now, you know that?” It didn’t sound like a bad thing the way he said it, though.
“Why? What am I doing?” Cassie tried to contain the smile that kept turning up the corners of her lips.
“You’re not half bad looking and you’re asking me for a friends-with-benefits deal. It all seems a little too good to be true.”
“It’s not. I swear it’s not. I want a mark from you, but if you don’t want to give me one, it’s not like I can force you to bite me. Maybe this could work. No strings, like you said. But I have needs. Basic ones. Food, water, sleep, protection, sex. I’m not asking to make love, Haydan. I’m asking for you to just be with me and leave your emot
ions at the door.”
Cassie pulled the car over to the shoulder and put it in park.
“What’re you doing?”
“I’m going to show you that I’m serious. That’s this isn’t too good to be true.” She unbuckled, then ran her hand up Haydan’s thigh with a light touch.
He froze, muscles taut and stony, as her touch drifted up the length of his erection pressed against the tight seam of his jeans.
Haydan’s bigger head started a slow shake in denial, but his other head throbbed against her hand. “Come on, Cas. Is this really what you want to do?”
Hell yes, it was. Haydan was hot, and fooling around took her mind off the bad stuff, which he’d dredged up with his incessant questions. This was best for both of them.
“A man like you shouldn’t go so long without release,” she murmured, voice gone huskier than she’d meant. Her panties were slowly soaking as she imagined Haydan sliding into her from behind. That was her favorite position. No eye contact, no kissing, just skin slapping, hip-jerking, humping until she was right on the cusp of pain. Then release, and she was okay again.
But tonight was for Haydan. He was wary of her, and he needn’t be. She was going to make him happy. She was confident in that ability since she’d satisfied Jake. He hadn’t ever wanted for anything because she’d taken care of his needs. She’d do the same with Haydan, and in return, he’d keep her safe. It was a fair trade. Life was simple and manageable this way.
She unbuttoned his jeans, and the slow rip of the zipper overpowered the soft country song playing in his Jeep.
“You don’t have to do this, Cas. I’m taking you to my place. I can protect you without—”
She slid him out of his briefs with a long drag down his shaft until she reached the base, halting whatever unnecessary conversation he was trying at. His eyes rolled back and he jammed his head against the headrest. Slowly, she slid his jeans down, out of the way. Holy moly. She tried to steady her breathing. Haydan’s dick was intimidating. Long and thick, swollen and ready for her. Already, there was moisture at the tip just from one stroke.
She blew a soft breath over the head of his cock, and he rolled his hips toward her. Oh, she was going to get him to stop holding the back of the headrest and put those sexy hands in her hair to tell her how fast he wanted it.
She loved this. Reveled in it. She’d never been with a man who reeked of subdued power like Haydan. Even now, his bear was practically humming, pushing her own animal deep into hiding inside of her. A mixture of fear and excitement made this all the more erotic.
Cassie took his cock in her mouth and licked off the drop of moisture from the tiny slit at his tip. Fuck, he tasted good. Salt and Haydan—she committed the taste to memory. He groaned as she took him halfway, then slid her mouth back off him.
Three more strokes, and his legs were trembling. Grab my hair.
She took him deeper, and his hips jerked, cock swelled. Come on. Tell me what you like.
The first brush of his fingers in her hair drew a smile of triumph. She had him now.
He huffed out a helpless sound as she wrapped her hand around his base and went to work. Sucking, kissing, licking, careful with her teeth. His skin felt like silk in her mouth. He grabbed her hair, gritting out a sexy growl with every stroke of her mouth now. Damn, Haydan was sexy. No, not Haydan anymore. From here on, he’d be known as Hot as Fuck Haydan. Hot AF Haydan. Hot. She was touching herself now. Couldn’t help it. He was close, and she was so sensitive against her jeans.
That drugged up numb feeling was dumping into her system.
Haydan pulled her hand out of her pants. What? No.
“Let me,” he ground out.
But…that wasn’t how this was supposed to work. Jake had never—ooooh!
Hot AF Haydan’s hand slid against her wet folds, brushed her sensitive nub, and two of his fingers slipped inside of her as if he’d been built to fit there. More numbness, more floating.
Tension built in his grip on her hair, and he pushed her down against him, harder now as she bucked against his finger.
She was gonna…
Hot AF Haydan’s growling was constant now, equally terrifying and erotic. She ran her tongue hard up him the next time she pulled, milking him.
“I’m there,” he said, voice breathless. “I’m gonna come.” His hand loosened in her hair so she could get off him, but she wasn’t quitting now. She wanted to taste him. All of him.
Hot jets shot into her mouth, salty and warm as she swallowed them down. He swelled just before each throbbing release. She was gone now, floating, pressure building, tingling, so wet she could hear his two fingers sliding into her. One last swallow, and she pulled off him, leaned back hard against her chair, and threw her head back as a pulsing orgasm blasted through her. “Haydan,” she ground out, hips bucking against his palm.
Leaning over, he whispered, “Good girl,” right before he nipped her neck. “And Cassie?”
“Yeah?” she asked, heart pounding.
“That shit you just pulled isn’t going to work with me. Rule number one on my list—you want to hear it?”
Words weren’t doable right now as another aftershock rocketed through her core. She nodded instead.
“If I come, I get to make you come, too.”
A slow smile spread across her face.
Hot. AF. Haydan.
Chapter Three
Haydan couldn’t help his cocky smile when Cassie tried to get out of the front seat of the Jeep. Twice. She apparently gave up and slid out like a noodle, stumbling on the uneven ground in front of his trailer. She swayed on her feet and looked down the pot-hole riddled road that bisected two rows of trailers.
“Asheland Mobile Park isn’t exactly the Ritz. You sure you still want to shack up with me?”
Her eyes darkened, and the lingering smile faded from her face. “I’ve lived in worse.”
And that right there, those little hints and mysteries at what she’d endured, made him wary. She was tough. Anyone with eyes in their head could see she was a fighter, but how many walls had she put up around her heart? How many until she was too hard to be able to feel like she was supposed to?
He tried to imagine this place from Cassie’s eyes. Strands of outdoor lights along the street and trailers gave it a warmer feel, but it didn’t cover up the fact the mobile homes were thirty-five years old—ancient by trailer standards. The cement walkways to the trailers were all cracked and full of weeds, and there was a shed overflowing with furniture in disrepair thanks to Drew having built his mate Riley a workshop to refurbish old crap to put up for sale on the Internet. And right at this moment, Bo, the trailer park’s mascot pygmy goat was peeing in the middle of the road, his little back end squatted low and his lips wiggling like it was the best feeling ever to take a piss in front of a stranger.
“Charming,” Cassie said. “Come on, mate, let’s see our love shack. The hardness had left her eyes by the time she swung her gaze toward him again.
“Wait, you want to live in my trailer? No, I thought you could live in ten-ten. It’s empty now, and the perfect non-love shack for our arrangement.”
“Where is ten-ten?” she asked, her voice troubled.
Haydan pointed three houses down. “There’s home sweet home for you until you decide to scatter.”
“Well, that doesn’t feel right.” She frowned back at Haydan’s trailer.
“Look, this isn’t a claiming, Cas. It’s a friendship, remember? I told you I’d protect you, and I will, but you living in my house feels too serious. Ten-ten is your den.” He jerked his chin toward the painted green singlewide with the white shutters. “This one’s mine.”
“Right.” Cas’s voice sounded strange. Choked up or scared, or both.
“No one will hurt you here,” he whispered, pulling her shoulders so she was facing him.
She crossed her arms over her chest, and her eyes shut down completely. “No touching.”
“Oh.” He pull
ed his hands from her and dropped them to his sides. “Sorry.” Unable to just leave it, he flipped off his better judgment and asked, “So I can fuck you, but I can’t touch you?”
“Rule four,” she rasped out in a barely audible voice.
Something was wrong. He could sense it, and his bear instincts were telling him to search the surrounding woods for the danger that had frightened her.
“How many rules are there?”
She lifted her chin and straightened her spine. “Since you won’t claim me, as many rules as I want to make up.”
His lip twitched, and he had to concentrate to keep the snarl from rattling up his throat. Someone had done a number on this woman and, deep inside, he wanted to slowly strangle the asshole who’d made her into a robot like this. “You know you could make up rules even if I did claim you, right? Claiming doesn’t make you my servant. It doesn’t mean you have to do anything. What did claiming mean to your crew?”
“Save your therapy hour, Haydan. I was perfectly happy with my crew. With my mate.” Her voice cracked, and she cleared her throat.
“Yeah, then why are you here, Cas? Why are you begging a claim from a stranger?”
“Because my mate died, and I didn’t want to be a brood mare for the new alpha.” The words came out emotionless and sharp as glass. “Goodnight, Haydan.”
She yanked her suitcase from the back seat of his Jeep and pulled it along the bumpy road toward ten-ten. He was angry. There it was. He was angry he’d been badgered into this position with a woman who he didn’t know and would never get to know if it was up to her. He was mad she could bring his bear to his knees with a blow job and those helpless little noises she’d made when he’d finger-fucked her, but he wasn’t allowed to touch or comfort her. He was pissed she was allowed to walk away from him when she didn’t like what he said. He wouldn’t do that to her, but she held all the cards—made all the rules.
