“I don’t know where he is,” I said without bothering to pause. It wasn’t a lie. If Sarein really meant what he said, he could be heading anywhere in the country. I wondered where he was going, and if he would be okay on his own. The location of his home pack was still a mystery to me.
Earl Carson, the new bureaucrat coworker with a penchant for staring, managed to catch up with me. “Are you all briefed up? Do you have all the papers you need? We cannot afford a single slip up today, Haust.”
“Yes, yes. Everything’s fine,” I answered, feeling increasingly annoyed.
“Are you certain? Today needs to go perfectly, Haust. We absolutely cannot afford any mistakes on your part.”
That made me pause. I turned to him. “Just who exactly do you think I’m working for, Carson?” I asked.
“This organization--and this country,” he replied. His eyes widened a bit; perhaps he was surprised at my question. I noticed him looking at my stomach. “Or have you turned back to your pack of beasts?”
There was a snarl building up in the back of my throat as he said that, but then I saw the accusing faces on the rest of my coworkers. I had long wondered which of them might have held me in contempt, distrusted me for what I really was, and suddenly Sarein’s absence hit me particularly hard. They completely outnumbered me.
It didn’t matter. I had come too far to let anyone intimidate me anymore. “I’m working for justice,” I said plainly and left them all behind.
I ignored reporters and the rest of my fellow representatives until I finally made it into the meeting room. Our seats were near the back with the rest of the low-ranking politicians, and the anonymity of it made me feel less tense. The other voting members of our organization took their seats beside me. None of us spoke as we waited for everyone else to fill into the room and take their places.
Paper fluttered as they were flipped over and over by antsy bureaucrats hoping to memorize every last bit of legal jargon they needed. Voices buzzed in murmured conversation. It was a kind of subdued chaos that always came with these sorts of events, a restlessness that created a very fragile peace that, if broken, could give way to true panic.
I took in a deep breath. I was ready. This moment was years in the making for me, and despite everything else, I was prepared for what was about to happen today.
Finally, they began to introduce the bills, and for the next few hours, I listened to abrupt debates, proposals, and even a few angry protests--all typical fare on the days of important votes. Bills on controversial subjects such as abortion and marriage met with about as much ire and applause as proposals for the mundane, such as changes to zoning laws. I gave my vote for or against the proposals I had done prior research on. It was truly an incredible thing to behold, to be a part of.
Unfortunately, however, it began to lose some of its wonder once I had been sitting there for nearly two hours. My back felt sore from the extra weight around my midsection, and I couldn’t get up to stretch unless I wanted to mistakenly vote for some bill I didn’t properly understand. Any other day and I would have been on the edge of my seat, but I was too uncomfortable now.
I jumped up from my seat once it was time to take a break. Outside, waiting for me in the hallway, was my assistant. Upon seeing me, he got up from his seat, straightened his tie, and hurried over towards me. “Do you need any help, Mr. Haust? How is everything going in there?” he asked.
I sighed. “So far? Everything’s been going fine. However, our bill hasn’t come up yet.”
“It may not be scheduled till much later,” he reminded me as he checked a list he made on his phone.
“Thank you for that,” I said. Considering how hard I’ve been on the poor kid since my pregnancy hormones kicked in, I figured he was overdue for a little praise. “You’ve been very helpful these past few days, Tyler.”
His eyes widened a little. I figured with surprise at me not snapping at him--and even finally calling him by his name after so long. Still, I was glad he didn’t say anything about it. There would be plenty of time for apologies on my part once the vote was over with. In the short time I had left, I got some water, went to the restroom, and tried to fix up my tired appearance as well as I could.
Then, it was time to head back. With the shifter bill no doubt coming up soon, the nervousness had reemerged, stronger this time. Anxiety began to make me restless as law after law was passed, rejected, or modified. I fidgeted with a pen as the time dragged on, and by the time our bill was mentioned, I was so lost in thought I missed the start.
“Next on the agenda, we have Shifter Registry bill proposed by the Human and Shifter Council. This bill would require all non-human citizens who fall under the category of ‘shifters’, meaning any beings with the capability of changing between human-like and lupine forms, to be listed on a registry that would be readily available to the appropriate government officials,” announced the speaker at the front of the room. At this, I could hear a few snickers coming from various sides. I did not have to look up to know I was being stared at.
It didn’t matter what they did to me, I reminded myself. It did not matter. I belonged here just as much as they did.
The speaker went on, “If implemented, this registry would give local and state officials the right to gain access to any and all records for those individuals listed. This includes but is not limited to: names, past and current residences, occupations, and, if applicable, criminal history. It is hoped that access to this knowledge will deter shifter-on-human crime, as well as help missing shifters be safely located in a more timely manner.”
Why… why did those words feel so ominous coming out of that man’s mouth? He said it all so plainly, so matter-of-factly, but there was a coldness there that I doubted any of the humans in this room could have picked up on. I supposed that, for some reason, hearing myself say these kinds of things at a fun rally didn’t seem so bad with the vote still only a distant possibility far on the horizon.
Hearing them said here, with the immediacy of the vote made the bill sound like an elegy.
An elegy that I wrote for my own people.
My breath hitched as I waited for him to finish. I felt like the walls were closing in on me, like everyone in this massive room was waiting to pounce on me the very second they had the chance.
Remain calm, I repeated over and over again silently.
But before I knew it, the voting had commenced. The system they had implemented was simple; whenever it was time to decide, one would simply state “yes” or “no” to vote for or against a bill. The room was filled by a chorus of votes in favor, as I had predicted. What I hadn’t predicted was the number of votes against it. Momentarily, I felt a little relieved.
Once it was our turn, my coworkers proudly all voted in favor of the bill. I tried to relax my mind and reassure myself, thinking back to all the hard work I had done campaigning and interviewing. This was my big moment. This was my chance to finally make the world a better place as I had dreamed for so long.
The word should have come to me naturally. My jaw tightened and the first syllable of the word “yes” formed at the back of my throat.
I trusted myself. I knew what was best. This was the time for justice.
I spoke up and told the world, “No.”
Audible gasps filled the room. Beside me, my coworkers hissed their words of displeasure. For a moment, I stood frozen as the reality of what I had just done hit me.
In a single moment, I undid all my life’s work.
And I was proud of it.
I turned to my coworkers and smiled. “I’m afraid I had a change of heart. I hope one day you’ll understand.”
“Do you realize what you’ve done, Haust?” Carson growled. “You’ve ruined the bill. Your vote ruined everything we’ve worked for!”
“What we’ve been working for, Carson,” I stated proudly, “is a bunch of bullshit. Don’t be so disappointed.” I rose from my seat and looked at the crowd. All eyes were on me, an
d for the first time since I could remember, I did not feel ashamed of who I was. With one word, I reclaimed the self I had tried so hard to bury. I met their stares and glares with a proud, confident grin.
It was time to go home now. My work here was finally done.
“You filthy sneak!” Carson shouted after me. “You won’t get away with this!”
“I already have,” I said. Whether or not he heard me--if anyone heard me--did not matter. What did matter is the fact that I said it at all. At last, for the first time since I can remember, I knew exactly what I was doing.
I rode that high all the way out of the Chamber. Tyler nearly had to run to catch up to me. “Is it true?” he asked breathlessly. “Is it true you switched sides?”
I chuckled. “I haven’t even made it out the building and the news is already out, huh?”
“So… it’s over?”
“Yes,” I said. I felt a great sense of relief wash over me. “It’s finally over.”
“Oh.” He took out his phone. “Is there anything you’d like for me to do now?”
“Cancel my appointments, would you please?” I replied as we both strode out of the building. “All of them until further notice. I have someplace I’m going to, and I’m not sure when I’ll be back.”
He seemed puzzled, but went along with it anyway. “Understood.”
In the distance I could see my driver’s black car headed our way. He would take me back to my apartment, and after that, I would go home.
“It’s been a pleasure working with you, Mr. Haust,” said Tyler as the car pulled up.
As I opened the door to climb inside, I took one last look at him. “Likewise, Tyler. I know I’ve been a bit… intense these past few weeks. I hope your future is bright, and I hope your next employer values you like you deserve. A word of advice: never deny yourself the things that make you feel the most alive.”
“Thank you, Mr. Haust.”
I pulled out my phone and found the number I’d been dying to call.
Would he take me back? After all the trouble I had caused, would he still want me?
Lucien was always worth it. Even if things hadn’t been easy he was worth all the pain I had endured.
I texted him: I’m so sorry about everything. I am coming to see you. I want to fix all the things that I’ve ruined.
I rode away from the Chamber, the Hill, and this lie I was living.
19
Lucien
“I don’t believe it!”
“No way. Haust stopped it? After he’s the one who started it all?”
“Ha! I bet he chickened out!”
The Snared Hare came alive with unexpected cheer. Half of the room stood up and high-fived each other while the rest slammed their fists on the table, letting out wild shouts of joy. Beside me, D’Marcus threw his head back and sighed with relief. I just sat there, completely stunned by the news.
Nobody was expecting this at all, especially so suddenly. This time, we didn’t even have the bar’s television on. Zan waved his phone around, excitedly showing everyone a breaking news report on the shifter bill. It didn’t pass; it only needed one vote to tip it either way, and the vote that ruined it was Caleb’s.
He came through after all. I was so relieved it almost felt like I was dreaming.
“What did I tell you, Luce?” D’Marcus asked. “I knew he’d come around eventually.”
“I-I really thought it was going to be too late for him,” I said. My voice came out a bit strained, as though I were trying to keep myself from crying. “I thought we lost him for good.”
“For better or for worse, love has a funny way of changing people,” he said, playfully brushing his fist against my shoulder. “I’m just glad it worked out in our favor.”
D’Marcus was right. We really did get lucky. The most important thing was the safety and future of the pack. Now that that was secured, the worst of my troubles were over. I should have been as ecstatic as everyone else.
So, why wasn’t I?
I just felt… empty. Disappointed. In the end, it still felt like a part of my soul had been torn from me. The desire I felt for Caleb was a fire that would never die. It would burn within me forever, even if I never saw him again.
“I’m sorry about the way things turned out between you and Haust. You were good to him, Luce. Really good,” said D’Marcus. “And, hey, never say never. Maybe one day he’ll show back up here looking for you.”
“You think so?” I asked miserably.
He chuckled and put his drink down. “I never could imagine a future without the two of you in it. Even when we were just kids, my father used to say our paths were all linked with each other. I don’t know when that’ll be, but you can’t change fate.”
“You sound so sure about this,” I noted. “I wish I could be that optimistic.”
D’Marcus shrugged. “You can always count on love.”
In the pocket of my flannel shirt, I felt my phone buzz. It showed a new text message.
From Caleb.
A smile slowly crept over my face. It had been so long since any joy had entered my heart, I almost didn’t know how to react.
“It’s him, isn’t it?”
My smile grew wider, and my inner wolf awoke within me, already dying to be reunited with its lost love. “He’s coming!” I said. “D’Marcus, he’s really coming back. You were right!”
“Aren’t I always?” he asked, a satisfied grin on his face. “Now quit wasting time. Go and get yourself ready for him.”
I left the bar feeling as though I had wandered right out of some fantasy that seemed almost too good to be true. The sight of my house no longer filled me with dread, because soon I wouldn’t be alone anymore--and this time, I was determined for it to stay that way.
I would never again make the mistake of not fighting for Caleb and our child.
It was late in the afternoon when I heard from him next. Punk and I sat at the back of the house, waiting anxiously when the text announcing his arrival in Lillington. He was so close now, I felt like I could feel his soul coming to join mine already.
Half an hour later, a small crowd had gathered outside, but this time, they weren’t a mob. Anger had not brought them together, and they did not seek vengeance.
Of course, there was no way Caleb could have known that. When he climbed out of his car, he looked taken back, shocked at the sight of all of us. I stood in the doorway and watched him come up anyway, despite his fear-and that’s how I knew he really meant it. It took everything I had to keep from embracing him right then and there.
“Lucien,” he said, his voice small. “It’s good to see you again.”
“It’s good to see you,” I replied.
He looked worried. No doubt all these shifters around him made him nervous--but then he made a fierce expression I had only ever seen him make when he was determined to push through something. And he bit his lip.
That lip bite. Always that lip bite.
“I came to apologize. These past few weeks, I’ve been so selfish. Lucien, I’m afraid I’ve been terrible to you.” He gulped. “But still, there’s nothing in this world that I want more than to be your omega. Can you ever forgive me?”
“After everything that’s happened, Caleb, do you really think we could work?” I asked cautiously.
He looked me right in the eyes. “I wouldn’t have come all this way if I didn’t think there was any hope.”
I took a step towards him, relishing in the warmth of his body. This wasn’t a dream. No dream could ever be as good as the moment we were living in now.
“Caleb,” I said gently, opening my arms out to him. “Didn’t I say you’re always welcome back?”
He fell easily into my embrace and buried his face into my neck. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. His voice was breaking. “I’m so sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused everyone.”
“Well now, there are no hard feelings on my part,” said D’Marcus as he stepped out o
f the crowd and onto the porch with us. “I know it couldn’t have been easy for you out there. Hopefully, someday it will be--for all of us. And speaking of all of us, I think Luce and I aren’t the only ones who came to welcome you home.”
Caleb turned and looked at the pack. Shifters he had grown up with, shifters that were almost like his family before he left, all of them had come to see him home. Augusta, D’Marcus’s mother, gave us a kind smile. I wished my own mother could have been there, too.
Caleb instantly became less tense in my arms and sighed happily. “Lucien,” he said. “I can’t wait for what the future will bring.”
“As long as it’s with you, I’m ready for anything,” I said, and before I could say another word, Caleb pressed his lips against mine.
I held him closer, tighter. I knew I would never let him go again. Finally, we had both found the place--and the person--that our hearts belonged to. The kiss revitalized me, made me feel like a true alpha. The softness of his lips, the heat of our passion, the way I worked my hands up his back and pinned his body against mine--how did I ever think I could live without this?
The kiss was short; there was no way it possibly lasted longer than a minute, but it felt like the most blissful lifetime, and when we pulled away for air, it was clear that our world had changed.
It was happy now.
“I always knew you two would make it,” said my cousin.
At the sound of the pack’s cheers, Caleb and I retreated into the house, our hands held tightly in one another’s.
Epilogue
Caleb
“Any word from the Westfield pack yet?” Lucien asked from the other room.
“Hmm.” I checked my phone. So far, we had received replies from many other packs around the country, most of them open to our offer of improving relations and opening up a network system. The next time someone threatened shifter freedoms, the plan was that we’d all work together to stop it again. “Nothing from them yet, but we did get some very enthusiastic replies from packs by the Ashfield and Greenbark lands. If they don’t reply by the time we get back, maybe I could send them another message?”
Loving Paws: A Wolf Shifter Mpreg Romance Page 15
