No worse than what you’ve already done.
She climbed the steps to the Amber Dome, nodding at the guards who seemed shocked to see her on her feet so soon.
“Nola,” Lenora called from the high platform.
To Nola’s surprise, Lenora came down from her perch, hurrying toward her daughter.
“Nola, what are you doing here?” Lenora crossed her arms and examined her daughter’s face. “The doctor sent word you needed to rest.”
“I am.” Nola corrected herself. “I’m going to. I just want to make sure my team is okay, and then I’ll sleep, I promise.”
“I’ll see you at home.” Lenora climbed back up to her platform.
For a moment, Nola considered telling her mother she wouldn’t be at home, but by the time her mother made it back to their little house, she would have forgotten to worry about her daughter anyway.
She walked over to her group, careful not to hurry, though instinct told her to run.
“Miss Kent,” Catlyn said as soon as she caught sight of her. “Are you feeling better?”
“Yes, thank you,” Nola said, walking straight over to T.
Fear flashed through T’s eyes for a moment before she stiffened her jaw as though ready to be struck.
“T,” Nola said, stopping so close to the other girl that her face was only a foot away, “the doctor said that you were shaky, that there might be something wrong with your baby.”
T’s face paled.
“It’s not much, and I don’t know if it will help, but take one of these with every meal.” Nola took T’s hand in hers, pretending to lead her the two feet back to the worktable. “It’s only a supplement, but it’s the best I could get my hands on without people asking questions.”
“I—” T began.
“Don’t let anyone find out about these, or we’ll both be walking into the city.” Nola looked to the other two outsiders. “I’m sure you’ll be able to finish without me. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Why?” T murmured, not looking away from the table in front of her.
“Because I’m not like Emanuel,” Nola said. “I don’t like to watch innocent people suffer.”
Without giving T a chance to respond, she turned and walked through the dome and down the stairs.
It wasn’t until she had made it three corridors away from the Amber Dome that Nola leaned against the wall. Her heart raced. Sweat slicked her palms, and a pounding pain gnawed at the back of her skull.
I’ve made a terrible mistake.
She had helped an outsider, gone against the domes again. If anyone found out, she would be banished to a city that had turned into a war zone. And she hadn’t helped just anyone. She had helped a girl who knew Emanuel. At least well enough to know Nola had spent time with him. Stayed in his home and helped save his daughter’s life.
Taking a shuddering breath, she pushed herself off the wall and forced her feet to move. Biting her lips to keep them from trembling, she nodded to the people she passed. Waiting for one of them to run at her screaming she was a traitor.
The guard at the top of the barracks stairs didn’t try to stop her but instead gave her a wry smile as she hurried down the steps.
She knocked on Jeremy’s door, hoping there wouldn’t be anyone in there with him.
“Come in,” he called.
Nola wrenched open the door and was inside in an instant, locking the door before running to Jeremy’s bedside.
“What’s going on?” Concern coated Jeremy’s face as he moved to get out of bed.
“Careful.” Nola tried to push Jeremy back into bed, but he threw his legs over the side as though she weren’t holding him back at all.
“What’s wrong?”
“Please be careful,” Nola said, finally managing to stop Jeremy before he actually stood up.
“You just ran in here like there was a Vamper on your tail, and you want me to be careful?” Jeremy took her hands in his. “What the hell is going on? Is there something happening aboveground?”
“Yes—no.” She searched for the best words to tell Jeremy what she’d done. “I mean, I passed out. I’m okay,” she pushed on when his eyes grew wide. “One of the outsiders in my work group. She knows I know Emanuel. And I panicked. That’s why I fainted. What if she tells someone I helped Nightland?”
“No one would believe her.” Jeremy pressed his hands to Nola’s cheeks. He was so tall even sitting down his face was level with hers. “She’s one outsider. They’ll think she’s crazy, they’ll think she’s working for Emanuel, trying to infiltrate the domes and cause trouble.”
“But what if Emanuel did send her? What if he wants to make me help them again, and I already did. Jeremy, I did something stupid. Really, really stupid.”
“What did you do?”
“The girl, T is what she’s called, she’s pregnant,” Nola said, begging him to understand, knowing she couldn’t blame him if he decided this was the last straw and turned her over to the Dome Council himself. “She hasn’t been doing very well. And she might be working for Emanuel, but that’s got nothing to do with her baby, so I asked for a vitamin pack and gave it to her.”
Jeremy let go of Nola’s face and buried his head in his hands.
“I’m sorry.” She sat on the bed next to Jeremy. “I’m so, so sorry. I just got caught up, and the doctor said she wouldn’t help T because she’s an outsider. But that baby has never done anything to hurt anyone. And I didn’t think, until I did think, and now…I’m so sorry.”
“The doctor was right, Nola!” Jeremy half-shouted, just softly enough not to be heard in the hall. “That girl has nothing to do with us. She is an outsider. One who might be working for Emanuel, You said it yourself.”
“But the baby—”
“Isn’t your problem.”
“But it should be.” Nola took Jeremy’s hands in hers, kneeling on the bed so she could look straight into his eyes. “I’m sorry, I know I’ve messed up and keep messing up. I know what the domes stand for is important. We are the future. And maybe it makes me broken. Maybe I should just be banished. But I can’t work next to a pregnant girl who needs medical help and not even try to do anything. And I know that’s wrong,” her voice faded. “But I didn’t know what else to do. I’m sorry.”
Silence filled the room for a moment, tainted only by the faint humming of the air ducts.
“You aren’t broken,” Jeremy said. “They founded the domes to give future generations of children a fighting chance in the rotting world we’ve been left with. But it isn’t a perfect system. The founders laid out a whole bunch of rules, and I don’t think any of them thought we’d want to break them. The outside world wasn’t made up of monsters and starving people when the domes were built. The founders didn’t know what we’d be watching happen on the other side of the glass. But you can’t save them all, Nola. And helping that girl could mean hurting your own people.”
“But it’s so tiny to us.” Tears welled in her eyes. “And what if it saves her baby?”
“But what about when T has to go back outside?” Jeremy wrapped his arms around her, laying his cheek against her hair. “You haven’t been out there, not lately. It’s gotten worse. Worse than when there was a riot at the food center. I know you were in Nightland. But the city isn’t being run by one psychopath who might actually be able to control his people anymore. There are no more jobs. Give it a few more months and there will be no more food. It might be kinder if that baby wasn’t born.”
“But if they can find a way to farm, then they could eat,” she whispered, letting Jeremy hold her close, sure she would shatter into a million irreparable pieces if he let go.
“For a while,” he said. “Until others found out they had food and tried to take it from them. Or there was a bad storm. Or a new sickness came.”
“So you’re saying everyone outside the glass is doomed?” Nola said, the finality of her words striking her in the chest.
“Eventually, yes
.” He held her tighter, as though he could sense the terrible pain growing inside her, threatening to send her back into blackness. “Humans won’t be able to survive outside the domes, not for a long time.”
“But what about Vampers and wolves?” Nola asked. “Are they doomed, too?”
“They’ll make it the longest,” Jeremy said. “They’re the strongest, and some run in big enough groups to take what they need to survive.”
“Like Nightland.” She remembered the Vampers coming through the glass, the blood that slicked the floors of the halls. “And the ones that do survive will pick each other off. And then they’ll come for us.”
“Then they’ll come for us,” Jeremy said. “That girl’s baby might survive. But if it lives long enough, it’ll end up our enemy.”
“But it isn’t now.” Nola looked into his eyes. “And if we decide someone is our enemy before they can decide themselves, aren’t we losing the chance of there ever being peace?”
“I love you, Nola.” He leaned down and kissed her. “I love you for always wanting to see the good. But the world has fallen too far. All that’s left is survival. It’s my job to keep you safe, and I can’t let you risk yourself for a girl who might be working for Emanuel.”
She wanted to argue. To say that there was still good in the world, and maybe there could be peace between the domes and the outside.
But Jeremy was right. The gap between the desperate and the privileged was too great. The domes had to stay intact to ensure the survival of the human race, and the outside couldn’t be saved from burning. If that had been possible, the domes would never have been built in the first place.
“What do I do?” Nola said. “Just wait and see if she says anything else? Let her keep spying for Emanuel if that’s what she’s here to do? Wait and see if she turns me in?”
“Nola, calm down,” Jeremy hushed as her voice rose in panic. “You’re going to talk to this girl and see what she knows.”
“How? I can’t just ask if she’s going to turn me in for helping Nightland in the middle of the Amber Dome.”
“We’ll wait till they’re back in the bins tonight,” Jeremy said, lying back on the bed and drawing her down with him so her head rested on his shoulder. “I know where they’re being kept, and I can get you in. Then we just ask her a few questions.”
“And if she is going to tell the Council something that will get me sent away?”
“We convince her to keep her mouth shut.”
Chapter Thirteen
Hours passed with Nola lying in Jeremy’s arms. He drifted in and out of sleep, but all she could do was stare up at the ceiling and wait. A guard had brought a tray in for Jeremy a few hours ago. She had the feeling that if Jeremy hadn’t been the captain’s son, they might not have been so kind about her and Jeremy being alone in his room. As it was, she only had to endure a few obnoxious winks from the food bearer before they were left alone.
The lights had dimmed, and people had stopped passing in the hallway when Jeremy finally kicked off his sheets.
“You should stay here,” Nola said one more time though she knew it was useless. “You have to be careful.”
“I’m a fast healer.” Jeremy laced his fingers through hers as he led her to the door. “And if that girl is working for Emanuel, I’m not letting you anywhere near her without me.”
“Jeremy.” She stepped in front of him, blocking his path to the door at the last moment. “I love you. And I’m sorry for getting you involved in any of this.”
He leaned down and kissed her, wrapping his arms around her, and lifting her so her toes barely touched the ground. She draped her arms around his neck, twining her fingers through his short hair to pull him even closer. The pounding of his heart echoed in her chest, making her own heart race quicker.
She gasped as he pulled away.
“I never thought loving you would be easy.” Jeremy pressed his lips to the top of her head. “You don’t get something as wonderful as you without having to work for it. And I’m willing to do whatever it takes.”
“You’re better than I could ever deserve, Jeremy Ridgeway.”
“I’ll let you keep believing that.” He smiled and opened the door.
The dim night setting of the lights cast shadows in the corridor. Two guards stood by the stairs, their backs to the barracks. Jeremy walked calmly toward the door at the end of the hall.
Nola felt like they should run. Or try to hide in the faint shadows that hovered near the walls. But Jeremy walked boldly and silently forward, not hesitating or looking back as he pulled open the door that led to the row of locked rooms.
Letting the door swing quietly shut behind them, Jeremy turned to Nola. “I don’t know what the girl looks like.”
“What if one of the guards saw us come in here?” she whispered. “If they catch us in here, you could get in trouble. What if they kick you out, too? I never should have let you get out of bed, let alone help me.”
Jeremy stepped in and silenced her with a kiss. “I’m going to help you. And if anyone finds us in here?” He shrugged. “It won’t be the best, but I wouldn’t be the first Outer Guard to have snuck a girl into this hall. No one’s supposed to talk about the bins, so it’s a dark corner where people won’t come looking.”
“I had never heard of them.” Nola blushed, trying not to think of what Jeremy’s father or her mother would say if they were caught in the middle of the night in a forbidden hallway lined with private rooms she shouldn’t even know about in the first place.
“Don’t let T see you,” Nola said, leading Jeremy to the window where she had seen T before. “If she is going to tell the Council about me, I don’t want her to know about you, too.”
T wasn’t in the room she had been in last time. That one had been taken over by men. She moved to the next window, careful to stop Jeremy just out of sight. But T wasn’t in that room or the next. Apparently, the guards didn’t care about returning the outsiders to the same rooms every night.
She peeked into the second-to-last window. T was there, lying on a bunk, her head in Catlyn’s lap. Nola dodged out of sight of the window, her heart racing.
“The fighting.” Nola clung to Jeremy’s hand. “When you fought the wolves in the city, where were you fighting?”
“It started on the old Vamper row”—Jeremy’s face paled—“by Nightland. The strip of falling-down houses leading up to it. But we got penned in by two different packs who wanted to kill each other and didn’t hate the idea of killing a bunch of guards in the process. We had to fight all the way back to the bridge.”
Nola rose up on her toes, kissing Jeremy before whispering, “I’m so glad you made it home.” She let her cheek rest on his for a moment before pushing him back into the shadows.
Taking a deep breath, she tapped on the window.
Catlyn leapt to her feet, looking ready for a fight. When she saw Nola’s face in the shadows, her brows pinched together.
“I want to see T,” Nola said.
Catlyn cocked her head to the side and moved closer, apparently unable to hear.
Nola glanced at the door that led to the barracks, and then at Jeremy before saying more loudly, “I need to talk to T.”
Catlyn heard that time, as did the rest of the women in the room, all of whom now stared at Nola.
“T,” Nola said, jumping right in before the girl had even reached the door. “How did you know I’ve met Emanuel?”
Fear passed through T’s eyes before she spoke.
“Everyone in the city knows you were in Nightland.” T raised her chin defiantly. “You’re the reason Nightland attacked the domes. In retribution—”
“That’s a lie, and you know it,” Nola said. “Nightland attacked us because they are thieving, murdering cowards who wanted what the domes have.”
Jeremy tightened his grip on Nola’s hand.
“Now tell me, how did you know I’ve met Emanuel?”
T studied her for a moment b
efore answering. When she spoke she said each word carefully, as though measuring every impact. “I was in Nightland. My baby’s father is a vampire of Nightland. He told me about the Domer who had helped Emanuel’s little girl. I saw you there, dancing with the Doctor’s son, Kieran Wynne.”
Nola swayed, but Jeremy didn’t let go of her hand.
“So you saw me there,” Nola said. “So what? Why would you think Emanuel would have taught me anything?”
“Because he must have.” T leaned in toward the window so her breath fogged the glass. “You were there, you know Kieran, you stayed in Emanuel’s home. I heard the order shouted by Kieran himself that you weren’t to be touched. He loved you. You’re helping them.”
“No, I’m not!” Nola’s voice echoed down the hall. She froze, staring at the door to the Outer Guard barracks, waiting for guards to come running in. A full minute passed before she looked back at T. “I thought I knew Emanuel and Kieran. But they lied to me. They betrayed me.”
“But you have to know,” T said, her eyes boring into Nola’s as though hoping to rip information straight from her mind. “You have to know where Nightland went.”
“What?” The absurdity of it forced a laugh into Nola’s throat. “Know where they went? Is that really what you’re after? I didn’t know they were going to attack or leave. They lied to me. They used me. Do you really think they would have told me where they were going? If I knew, the guards would already have destroyed them.”
“But Emanuel and Kieran—”
“Used me,” Nola said, disgust replacing all fear. “They’re monsters just like the rest of Nightland.”
“You really don’t know where they are?” T’s face crumpled, and for the first time she looked like the nineteen-year-old she was. “There really isn’t a way to find them?”
“Why would you want to?” Nola said. “Why would you want to find a bunch of murderers?”
“They weren’t all like that,” T said. “Some of them were good. Charles was good. He never would have hurt anyone.”
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