Nola gasped, and her world shattered.
Chapter Twenty
“What’s wrong?” Jeremy asked, reaching down toward Nola, but she swatted his hand away, falling off the bed in her desperate scramble to get away from him.
“Don’t touch me!” Nola’s back slammed into the edge of her dresser, sending a wave of pain through her spine. “Ouch!”
Jeremy reached for her again. “Nola, be careful.”
“I said don’t touch me!” she screamed, groping her way up the desk, not looking away from Jeremy.
“Nola, I’m sorry.” Jeremy’s face crumpled. He tucked his hands behind him as though trying to prove he wouldn’t reach for her again.
But the movement tightened the skin on his arm, making the red line of freshly healed flesh even more apparent.
“I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have pushed you so fast, I’m sorry.”
“How could you?” she whispered. “How could you?”
She wanted to say more, to scream and rage, but the words wouldn’t come.
“I love you, Nola. I want to be with you.” Desperation filled his eyes. “Please, Nola. I’m sorry. I would never hurt you.”
“What did they give you?” Nola asked. “Where did you get it?”
“What are you…” Jeremy’s gaze followed Nola’s shaking hand as she pointed to his arm. He swallowed, his pulse throbbed in his neck. “It’s not what you think.”
“It’s exactly what I think,” she spat. “I’ve seen people heal like that before. I saw it happen to me in Nightland. What did you take? Vamp? Lycan? Or maybe you got lucky and found some ReVamp?”
“It’s not any of that,” he said, his voice dry and shallow. “I would never take any of that.”
“Then what? What name did you decide to call the drug in order to make yourself feel better about using it?”
“Graylock,” Jeremy whispered. “We call it Graylock. They gave it to all the men in the Outer Guard.”
“What?” Nola stumbled as the room spun.
He lunged forward and caught her an inch before she hit the floor.
She pushed on his chest with both hands, trying to get him to let go, but he didn’t seem to notice.
He set her easily back on her feet. “We had to take it, Nola.” Jeremy backed as far away from her as the tiny room would allow. “With Vampers and wolves on the streets, the Outer Guard didn’t stand a chance without it.”
“So you became them.” It was all falling away, one sheet of lies at a time, and the shattering rang through her mind, jumbling her thoughts. “You did what you hate the Vampers for doing. You changed your DNA. Made yourselves monsters just like them.”
“No. Not like them. We have better scientists here than the outsiders could ever hope for. Graylock makes us stronger and faster. We can heal and fight, but I’m still me. It didn’t change anything about my mind. No bloodlust, no anger. I can still eat, and go in the sun, and I still love you.”
“How could your father allow this? The domes were built to preserve the human race. Without contamination from the outside world. If this drug changes the way your body works, it changes what you are. You might as well be a vampire!” The words tore from her throat.
“Please don’t shout, Nola. People can’t know about this. You aren’t supposed to know about this. No one can find out that you know.”
“Why?” She crossed her arms, covering her bare chest. “Because if the Council finds out what the Outer Guard have been doing—”
“The Council knows,” Jeremy said. “The Incorporation itself gave approval for the research.”
“No. No, the Incorporation built the domes to preserve humans, not create monsters. They would never let this happen.”
“They approved the research and the Outer Guard’s use of Graylock. That’s why Stokes has been such an evil little varmint. Our guys can do things his can’t. The Dome Guard and Outer Guard aren’t equal anymore.”
“Because the Dome Guard are protecting what the domes were built for.” Stokes’ words suddenly made sense. Why should he send his men out to bleed when the Outer Guard could be stabbed and heal without any treatment?
“We take Graylock to protect the domes,” Jeremy pleaded. “We couldn’t fight the city dwellers before, but now we can. We can fight the wolves and live. They were slaughtering us before. We had to do something.”
“My father was an Outer Guard, and he never injected himself with filth to do his job.”
“And they killed him,” Jeremy said, so softly she could barely hear. His words were without malice or taunt. Just cold, painful truth. “And I would have died, too. I wouldn’t have survived the werewolf riot without Graylock. It saved my life.”
Nola’s mind raced back to a filing cabinet filled with black vials and a needle filled with black sliding into Jeremy’s chest.
“They started giving it to the Outer Guard right before the raid on Nightland, and we still lost six men. We would have lost a lot more without it. And the attack on the domes, it would have been a massacre without Graylock.”
“If it keeps you strong and healthy, then we should send it to the outsiders,” Nola said. “Graylock could be the cure they’ve been looking for. You could save people!”
“We’re saving the domes.” Jeremy took a tiny step forward. “If all of those people had it, we wouldn’t be able to stop an attack.”
He was right. She knew he was right, and she hated herself for it.
“But the domes were built to preserve the future,” Nola said. “That’s bigger than who can fight better. It’s about protecting future generations. None of the Outer Guard will be able to have children now. What’s the point of—”
“But we will be able to have children.” Warmth filled Jeremy’s voice. “They figured all that out. Before any of us were allowed to take Graylock, they took samples from us. We could still have healthy children.”
Nola backed into the wall, leaning on it for support as her head spun.
“Not now, not for a long time. But the doctors”—Jeremy ran his hands through his hair—“they have everything stored, and when, I mean, if we ever wanted kids, they could do it.”
“With doctors.” Nola’s lips numbed. The feeling drifted down to her fingers, then coated her whole body. “Doctors to put things inside of me, but not Gentry. That’s why she left, isn’t it? You said they gave Graylock to the men, but she couldn’t have it. She needed to be kept pure for breeding.” She spat the words, hating the feeling of them in her mouth.
Jeremy pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. “She fought for it. She wanted to take Graylock, but they wouldn’t let her. They couldn’t risk losing her DNA for procreation.”
Bile rose in her throat. An animal for breeding. That was how they had treated Gentry. Strong, trained, brave Gentry. “How could they expect her to let the rest of her family take it and not be strong enough to protect them? But it doesn’t matter what the Council wanted. The domes lost her anyway.”
“She can be a guard in a different set of domes,” he said. “We’re the only ones who use Graylock. We’re the only ones who have fighting this bad. We had to do it to survive.”
Kieran had said nearly the same thing to her on a roof high above the decaying city. He was drowning in his own body, and ReVamp had saved his life. Had given him a chance to help others…and betray Nola.
She shut her eyes tight, shuddering at the thought of Jeremy and Kieran being anything like the same.
“Nola, I love you.”
She sensed him moving closer but didn’t shrink away.
“I love you more than anything. I took my first dose the day we raided Nightland to try and get you back. I never wanted to take something like Graylock, but I had to do it. I had to do whatever gave me the best chance of protecting you.” His fingers brushed the bandage on her arm. “And even with Graylock, I still couldn’t keep you safe.”
“An explosion can kill Vampers and werewol
ves.” Nola opened her eyes. Jeremy was only a few inches from her. She leaned into his chest, willing it to feel the same as it had a few minutes ago when she hadn’t known about the chemicals racing through his veins with every heartbeat. “A severed neck or a broken heart, it’ll kill a Vamper or a wolf. It would get you, too.” She shuddered and unfolded her arms. Letting her skin press into his.
“I know.” Jeremy wrapped his arms around her. “But I still should have been able to protect you.”
“They blew up a bridge. There’s no way anyone could have imagined they would sacrifice their own people like that.”
Nola felt Jeremy stiffen before the words rumbled in his chest.
“They didn’t blow up the bridge, Nola. We did.”
Chapter Twenty-One
The sound began far at the back of Nola’s brain. A terrible screaming that had no words. One high-pitched, piercing screech that floated further and further forward, fighting to block out Jeremy’s voice.
“The bomb was planted under the bridge a long time ago.” Jeremy held her up by the shoulders, pleading and fear painting his face. “To make sure the outsiders didn’t cross the bridge and overwhelm the domes. If we had seen Nightland coming, we could have stopped them, too, but they got over some other way. If we hadn’t blown up the bridge, those people would have come across and attacked us. We had no other choice.”
The screaming in her head had grown too loud now. She couldn’t hear his words at all. He was talking fast, his lips forming important phrases she couldn’t hear over the terrible shrieking. Nola watched his lips, trying to find something in the pattern of their movement that would make sense. That would mean her home hadn’t just blown up a bridge filled with people.
Bile shot up into her mouth. Shoving past Jeremy, she ran for the toilet. Her stomach threw up the revulsion that overwhelmed her, but the screaming in her head wouldn’t stop.
Jeremy knelt next to her, holding her up as she trembled and heaved. The noise told her he was shouting something, but it didn’t matter. What he was shouting about didn’t matter. How could it matter more than…than…. How many people had been at the edge of the bridge when it exploded? Fifty?
No, more. It was more.
The shriek in her head had learned to speak words.
You saw them running toward you. More than a hundred. Running toward you. Running toward your home until they were burned up in an instant.
“I was a diversion,” Nola said as the screaming in her head stopped, leaving her with deafening quiet. “Your dad knew I wouldn’t be able to talk to them. He knew I wouldn’t be able to stop it. I was just supposed to buy them time. So they could be sure everything was in place.” She seized Jeremy’s face. “Tell me I wasn’t a diversion. Tell me I didn’t help you kill those people.”
“They would have killed us.” Jeremy pressed Nola’s hands to his cheeks. “They would have come over here and killed all of us. Ripped out our throats, you heard him.”
“They lied to me. They used me,” Nola whimpered as the room swayed.
“Nola…” Jeremy reached to pull her closer, but she pushed herself away, falling backward onto the floor and hitting her head hard on the corner of the shower.
“Nola.”
“Don’t touch me!” she shouted, jumping to her feet even as the room around her swam dangerously.
“Nola, you’re bleeding.” Jeremy reached again to steady her.
“Get out of my house. Get the hell out of here. And you and your Graylock and your lies and your bombs stay the hell away from me!”
He looked as though she had slapped him hard across the face. Blinking dazedly, he stared at her like he thought she might come to her senses if only he froze long enough for her to sort out what it was she might be thinking.
“Get out,” Nola growled. “Get out, get out, get out!”
But he wouldn’t move. He stood like a confused statue in her bathroom, which smelled of sour and blood. She pushed around him, snatched her blood-stained shirt from the floor, and ran down the stairs, leaning heavily on the walls as her head spun. She didn’t stop to close the door behind her or wonder how long it would be until her mother came home and found blood on the corner of the shower.
Half-formed plans swam in her head. Her feet carried her out through the grass of Bright Dome, off the path, and behind a willow tree. The hole in the glass had been sealed. There was no way out here. But she would have to find one. The ones left to suffer had come for the glass castle, and they wouldn’t stop until the river ran red with blood. When that day came, she would not be left in the domes to watch it.
Smoke covered the skyline of the city, blocking out the places where families would be mourning. And where wolves would be plotting their revenge.
Nola pressed her head to the cool glass. The morning light still hadn’t stolen the chill of the night away. Warm blood trickled down her neck. There were things to be done, and she knew where to go first.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Nola waited in the hall of the medical wing for nearly an hour. There were no doctors or Outer Guard in sight. It would have seemed strange or even ominous just a short while ago. But the deep, black Graylock couldn’t be injected where Domers could see, and the Outer Guard would be able to heal on their own anyway.
The hall lights had gotten bright before Doctor Mullins finally arrived in the corridor, looking tired and pulling on a fresh, white coat.
She looked at Nola for a moment, blinking as though batting away fatigue. “Magnolia, how can I help you?”
Nola let go of the bandage she had been pressing to the back of her head. “My head won’t stop bleeding.” She gave a crooked smile.
Doctor Mullins rushed over. “Why on earth didn’t someone see you already?” Glancing briefly at Nola’s head, she took her arm and led her to the door of one of the examining rooms, punching in a code before the door slid open.
“Someone looked at my arm,” Nola said, deliberately not looking at the glass cases in the corner. “But when I got home, I got dizzy and hit my head. I didn’t want to interrupt while all the doctors were downstairs helping the injured Outer Guard.”
“Well, that was considerate of you, but head wounds are nothing to be trifled with. Especially with…” Doctor Mullins paused for a moment, then spun to face the cabinet in the corner. “Well, those who have had so much physical trauma to deal with lately.”
“I’m sorry,” Nola muttered, watching as Doctor Mullins punched in yet another code to open the cabinet.
3733
The cabinet popped open.
“I didn’t think it mattered that much. I just couldn’t get the bleeding to stop.”
“We’ll get you cleaned up in no time, but you really do need to be careful.”
She waited patiently as Doctor Mullins shined a light into her eyes, sprayed things that stung onto her flesh, and tugged at the broken skin.
“I’m so sorry,” Nola said as the doctor rubbed cool goo into her hair, “but could you maybe ask my mom to walk me home? I’m just…” She waited, hoping the doctor would sympathetically interrupt her. She didn’t. “I’m not feeling great about being alone. I’d like it if my mom could come and get me.”
Nola held her breath as she waited.
The doctor’s stern face finally crumpled. “I’ll go and grab your mom. She’ll be down in seeds?”
“Yes.” Nola smiled. “I’d call for her, but I’m sure she won’t answer, not after having to go back to the bunker.”
“I’ll go find your mom.” Doctor Mullins wagged a finger in an unintimidating way. “But don’t let it get around that I’ll run all over the domes looking for truant parents.”
“Thank you!” she called as soon as the doctor was out the door.
3733
Nola jumped off the bed and ran for the cabinet. Her fingers shook as she punched in the number, but as soon as the final three was pressed, the metal doors popped open.
She stood frozen f
or a few moments, staring at the vast array of vials and tubs, bottles and packages. She tried to read the names, but she didn’t know what half of them meant.
Hands shaking, Nola reached into the very back of the rows, careful not to disturb the order of the perfectly aligned front bottles.
Three bottles of nutrient pills, five I-Vents. Three familiar-looking silver vials she had been injected with when a flu swept through the domes four years earlier. Tubs of the goo the doctors spread on wounds to help them heal. A few packs of bandages.
She shoved the vials into the ankles of her boots, the bandages into the waist of her pants, and the bottles into her pockets.
How much more could she fit into her clothes without the doctor noticing? What would she need? She grabbed three vials of blue pills her mother had given her before for headaches and closed the cabinet.
Kieran would have done it better. He would have known what each of the names on the bottles meant and what they were used for. But Kieran had left her and betrayed her. Jeremy had lied to her and used her.
Her whole body shook as she moved back to the bed in the middle of the room. There was no one left to trust, only people to save.
Nola stared at her hands as she counted the seconds before Doctor Mullins would return. Lenora Kent wouldn’t come easily. She wouldn’t hear that her daughter had been hurt and come running. She would hem and haw. Be sure to check all of her specimens one last time. Assign a person to watch her computer and make sure it didn’t shut down while she was away. The automatic computer alerts from PAM were never enough for her. She would want someone there watching, protecting her precious seeds.
The vials in her boots seemed to burn her skin, shouting to the domes that Nola Kent was a traitor. But the sirens didn’t sound, and the lights didn’t flash. So she counted until her mother arrived.
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