“I thought about something the other day and I really couldn’t answer the question. What do you think we would be doing if we had gotten married so young?”
“I’d probably be stocking shelves at my mother’s grocery store,” he replied flippantly.
“No you wouldn’t. You wanted to do bigger things, and you and Cole always talked about being cops.”
He thought about that for a moment. “Yes, I guess we did.” He looked into her blue eyes. “What are you getting at?”
“Through all my soul-searching I realized something important. I was too young to get married. I had no idea about what life could be like. All I wanted was to be with you. That’s how every seventeen-year-old girl thinks when they have a boyfriend.”
He wanted to be honest, so he said what was in his heart. “After seeing my parents’ disastrous marriage, the last thing I wanted was to get married, but I loved you and would have done anything you wanted.”
“Except stay. And I’m not saying that to be mean. I take full responsibility for my part in being a selfish teenager wanting only what I wanted. And it was so unrealistic I can’t even believe I wanted that back then.”
Bo laid his half-eaten pizza slice in the cardboard container. “When my dad came back, all my conflicting thoughts about you, the army and Cole became clear. I’d had to go for my own peace of mind and there was no doubt in my mind that you would be waiting for me.”
“Remember that line we learned in English class? ‘Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.’”
He tipped his beer to her. “I should have paid more attention.”
“We’ve talked the past to death,” she said. “When I saw you in the video being shot at, I thought if you had gotten killed you would’ve never known I had forgiven you. Sometime in the last few weeks I realized I didn’t have that pain in my chest anymore.”
His heart stilled. He’d waited so long for her to say that, and for a moment he wondered if he was dreaming.
She placed the beer bottle on the coffee table and looked at him. “I would like very much for us to start over without bitterness or resentment over what happened in the past. Start over with a clean slate as two mature adults wanting to spend time with each other.”
“Do you think that’s possible?”
She got up and sat beside him, so close he got a whiff of her delicate perfume. “Why not? We’re both in our late thirties and know how hard life is and how good it can be at times. I’m willing to take a risk.”
When he’d come here tonight he’d had no idea she would offer this—an opportunity to get back together. He’d wanted that for years and now it seemed too good to be true.
His eyes met hers. “I am, too.”
Her tongue moistened her lips and he was captivated. Before his lips took hers, her phone went off. He hated that phone! But she reached for it because it could be the hospital or something important.
She looked at the caller ID. “It’s the hospital. I have to take it.”
Bo got up and watched her talk. Her anxious voice matched her face. She paced around the room talking. “Okay. I’ll be right there.”
She went into the kitchen and grabbed her purse, dropping her phone into it, and then she came back into the living room and reached for her boots. Sitting on the sofa she shoved her feet into her boots. “We have a patient named Kathy Purcell and we did a lumpectomy on her a few weeks ago. She’s four months pregnant and she’s in the emergency room with spotting. Dr. Eames is out of town and Kathy is asking for me so I have to go.”
“Then go.” He felt a little let down, but he was mature enough to accept what she did in her job.
“I have to call the teenager down the street who sits with Luci when I have to go to the hospital.”
“I’ll stay until you get back.”
One eyebrow lifted. “You sure?”
“I’m not doing anything else and I have tomorrow off.”
“Thank you. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” She picked up her purse and headed for the kitchen, and he supposed there was a door to a garage back there. She turned and smiled at him. “I’m sorry we got interrupted.”
He waved at her to go. “How much beer do you have?”
She laughed as she disappeared out of sight. He cleaned up the mess and thought about what she’d said and wondered if they could start over after everything that had happened between them. He didn’t want to look that gift horse in the mouth. For now, he would take one day at a time and hopefully somewhere in those days they would find the love they’d shared years ago. And maybe this time it would be better.
* * *
BECKY PARKED IN the hospital parking lot and rushed into the ER. A nurse she knew stopped her. “Are you here about Kathy Purcell?”
“Yes. Where is she?”
She motioned for Becky to walk down the hall out of earshot. “She miscarried and is now in surgery. They’re doing a D & C.”
“Oh, no! She so wanted that baby.” All of Becky’s fears liquefied and flowed through her veins like a red-hot fever. She tried to push them away, but they were right there.
“There were bruises on her arm and her face when she came in. I had to notify police.”
“Are you saying…?”
“Yeah, someone hit her and held her arm so tight you can see the imprints of fingers. The police are waiting to question her.”
“Did she say anything?”
“She said she fell, but she was crying so hard it was very difficult to get anything out of her. She was worried about the baby.”
“Anything else?”
“No. When she asked for you, I called. A few minutes later she started cramping and that was it.”
“Thank you. I’ll wait until she gets to her room to talk to her.” Becky took a chair in the small waiting area staring down at the inlaid floor. Squares and triangles fit perfectly together to create a pleasing effect. As a teenager she hadn’t known if she was a square or a triangle. She’d just known she didn’t fit anywhere. Until Bo. He’d made her fit in and become part of a group, and her plans for the future had become happy ones.
A tear rolled down her cheek and she quickly brushed it away. Not now! She couldn’t remember, not here in this hospital. All these years she’d been able to push it to the farthest corner of her mind, but…
The nurse walked up and handed Becky a piece of paper. “They’re taking her to her room. That’s the room number. The cops are waiting for her.”
“Thank you.”
Bracing herself for the scene she was about to witness, she took the elevator up to Kathy’s room. She knew the drill. She knew exactly what was going to happen. She introduced herself to officers Spellman and Lopez, trying desperately to keep everything inside.
“Do you know Mrs. Purcell?” Officer Lopez asked.
“Yes. I’m a physician’s assistant to Dr. Eames and Kathy is one of our patients. Dr. Eames found a cancerous lump in her breast and it was removed. Kathy chose to wait on the radiation until after the baby was born.”
“Do you know her husband?”
Becky shook her head. “I’ve never met him.”
“Not even when she had the surgery?” Officer Spellman wanted to know.
“No. He wasn’t there.”
Officer Lopez held out some photos taken by the hospital. “These don’t look good. Someone hit this woman.”
Becky stared at the bruise on Kathy’s face and the marks on her arm. Anger roiled in her stomach. How could she live with someone who would do this?
She looked up to see nurses pushing a gurney into a room. In a minute they were out. “She’s a little groggy, but she’s awake,” one of the nurses said to Becky.
“Let me talk to her first,” Becky said to the officers.
“We’ll be right behind you,” Officer Spel
lman said.
The blinds were drawn in the small room and it was almost in total darkness, except for a small light above the bed. Kathy still had an IV and a nurse was checking a heart monitor.
“Everything seems fine,” the nurse said. “She’ll probably sleep the rest of the night.”
“Thank you.”
Becky moved closer to the bed, feeling a knot in her stomach so big she could barely breathe. “Kathy.” She spoke gently.
At the sound of her voice, Kathy turned her head toward Becky. Her dark hair was pulled back, emphasizing the purple bruise on her face. “You came.” Her voice was low, but Becky caught it.
“Yes. I’m so sorry.”
Kathy closed her eyes and tears squeezed through. “I lost my baby.”
“I know, and I’m so sorry.” Becky looked over her shoulder. “These officers would like to ask you some questions. Do you think you can handle it?”
Kathy nodded.
Becky stepped back and listened while Kathy told them what happened. “He found the medical bills for the lumpectomy and saw it was from the Women’s Center and he said I had an abortion. I told him the center didn’t do abortions, but he wouldn’t believe me. I tried to tell him I was still pregnant but he was enraged and wouldn’t listen. That’s when he slapped me and I stumbled backward and fell. He yanked me up, but I managed to get away and lock myself in the bathroom. He beat on the door for a long time and then finally left. I… I…”
“It’s okay,” Officer Lopez said. “Take your time.”
“He’s very controlling and my friends don’t come around anymore because of that.”
“Why did your husband think you had an abortion?” Officer Spellman asked. “Didn’t he know about the cancer?”
“No. I didn’t tell him. I was scared. I didn’t know what he would do. After a year of marriage, I wanted out, but then I discovered I was pregnant. I wanted to wait to have children because I’m still in school, but my husband wanted a baby now. We argued about it and that’s why he jumped to the conclusion that I had an abortion.”
The officers got a description of her husband, their address and the make of his vehicle. “I’d advise that when you are released, you go somewhere else until we catch him.”
“My mother is coming and I’m going to stay with her for a while.”
The officers left and Becky walked to the bed. “Why don’t you try to get some sleep? I’ll stay until your mother gets here.” Becky didn’t think the woman should be alone. Being alone was a terrible thing at a time like this. It ate away at your heart until there was nothing left to feel but a chilling emptiness.
“I don’t think I’ll ever sleep again.”
“I’m not going to lie to you. The days ahead are going to be hard and you’ll really need your mother. Everyone will say how sorry they are until you want to scream. But each ‘I’m sorry’ will start the healing process. This day you’ll never forget, though.” How did she ever think she could forget? “It will always be a part of you. That baby will always be a part of you.” That part stayed forever in her heart. Why didn’t she realize that? “No one understands that but other women who have lived through this pain. You will survive because you’re strong.”
As Becky talked, Kathy fell asleep, and soon her mother came in and Becky was able to leave. She got into her car and couldn’t stop the tears trailing down her cheeks. For years she’d had this under lock and key, and now it was all coming back. She rested her head on the steering wheel and fought for an elusive control. There was no way to go forward until she took a step back into the past. That’s what she should’ve done from the first.
She wiped away her tears and headed for home, knowing what she had to do. It was way past time. She’d been dancing around the truth for weeks now, ignoring it, thinking no one need ever know. But she was lying to herself. She couldn’t live with lies.
She went into the house and placed her purse and keys on the kitchen table. Bo sat on the sofa, his legs stretched out in front of him and his head resting on the cushions. The moment she walked in he woke up.
“You’re back.” His sleepy eyes made her want to forget all the churning feelings in her.
“Yes. It was a rough night.”
“You look tired.”
She walked farther into the living room, bracing herself for the onslaught of emotions. “The patient had a miscarriage.”
“I’m sorry.” His eyes darkened.
She hated those words. They meant nothing. They were only a response, just like she’d given to Kathy. But it was the only thing a person had in these kinds of times.
“It’s almost three in the morning.” He flexed his shoulders. “I better go so you can get some rest.”
She drew a deep breath and prayed for courage. “Bo, I know you wondered why I couldn’t forgive you for all these years.”
He slipped his feet into his boots, which had been sitting by the couch. “You said it was because I didn’t say a final goodbye. Isn’t that true?”
“No. I lied.” She held her head high.
He got to his feet and his intimidating height made her want to take a step backward, but she would never do that. “I thought we were being honest.”
“Yes, but I didn’t tell you the whole truth. I didn’t tell you why I was so angry and it was more than the fact that you didn’t come over to my house and say goodbye, even though I was upset about that, too.”
He shook his head. “Bec, what are you trying to say?”
“After you left, I discovered I was pregnant.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“W-WHAT?”
Becky’s words hit him like a sucker punch and he was unable to process what she was saying.
“That first week you were gone, I cried and cried and my dad said I had to pull myself together, but I didn’t know how to do that. The next week I got sick and I thought it was because I was an emotional wreck. I kept throwing up every morning and that’s when the light bulb went off in my head. I made an appointment to see a doctor in Temple and he confirmed my suspicion. I was pregnant. You were thousands of miles away and I didn’t know what to do.”
“My mother knew how to get in touch with me,” he snapped, unable to believe what he was hearing.
“That’s nice, Bo. Your mother knew, but I didn’t and I was the one who needed you the most.”
“What happened?”
Becky walked around him to sit on the sofa. “I didn’t know how to tell my dad so I didn’t, the usual reaction of every teenage girl. I just ignored it for the first few weeks, and then I realized I was having a baby and I got excited. It was just what I needed while you were away. I asked your mom so many times if she’d heard from you, and every time she said no. I went out and bought this little white baby outfit. When you came home I was going to give it to you. That’s how I was going to tell you. In case you’re wondering, I had every intention of waiting for you.”
“Bec…” His throat closed up and he couldn’t push words through.
“I was registered to start nursing school in September and my dad went with me to Austin to look for apartments. We found one and I rented it. Dad was glad I had found a way to cope. I still hadn’t told him about the baby. In the tenth week I started feeling bad and I noticed I was spotting so I drove to Temple to get checked out. I never left. I started cramping on the way and as soon as I reached the ER I lost it on the table. Tons of blood everywhere. I was so scared. The baby was gone and I was left alone to deal with the aftermath.”
Bo swallowed hard and wanted to shut out her words. Years of asking for forgiveness came down to this moment—a moment of reality.
“I still hadn’t told my dad about the baby, so I called him and told him I was spending a night with a friend. The next day I drove myself home and still didn’t tell my dad. I don’t know why that was
so hard for me because my dad has always been very supportive. I guess I didn’t want to disappoint him.
“I lay around the next few days as my world crumbled. My fever spiked on the fourth day and my dad found me in bed, shivering and unresponsive. He immediately called an ambulance. That’s how he found out I had a miscarriage and he didn’t understand why I couldn’t tell him. I stayed in the hospital for a few days and then my dad brought me home and took care of me. I don’t know what I would’ve done without him.”
“Bec…”
“Don’t say another word. I don’t need your sympathy now and I have to get all of this out because I’ll never be able to say it again.” She took a long breath and pushed hair from her face. “The next week Ava said you’d called and that you were doing good and to tell me hi. Tell me ‘hi’?”
Her voice rose and a surge of guilt ripped through him. “That was your message to me. You called your mother, but not me. That stung and it still stings and it was one of the main reasons I thought I would never forgive you.” She jumped to her feet, her eyes blazing. “How do you think I felt when I got that message? After losing your child, should I have been happy that you said hi?”
“After basic training, Cole and I came home and I couldn’t find you anywhere,” he said almost to himself.
“I couldn’t stay in Horseshoe and listen to your mother giving me reports of how you were, so I moved into the apartment in Austin and my dad went with me. He wouldn’t leave me alone. We grew close during that time. I always thought I needed my mother, but I also needed my dad. He got me through the worst part. I then had to find a way to live with it. The next time you came home I refused to see you. That’s how I dealt with it—by not seeing you or talking to you.”
“Why did you marry someone else?” It came from the depths of his chest.
“To get you out of my head!” she shouted. “I wanted to remove you from my heart, but I found it almost impossible to do. I couldn’t sleep with him so it was over quickly. By then, anger at your behavior had consumed me and I really never wanted to see you again.”
Harlequin Heartwarming December 2020 Box Set Page 39
