“From what you’ve told me about your childhood, you must have been eager to get out on your own so you wouldn’t feel so stifled. What about your master’s degree?”
She blinked, looking surprised. “I was doing postgraduate work when I met Mason. To be honest, I only finished my thesis because of the insinuations that I’d married my way onto his research team. Not that I ever told him it was the reason.”
Gideon felt a guilty elation at the admission. If she’d kept something from her husband, it was less surprising she’d keep things from other people. “Why is that?”
“He wouldn’t have understood. And he would have been right. I shouldn’t have let it get to me. I was qualified and worked hard, but it’s difficult to escape petty jealousies. In particular, two of Mason’s longtime associates felt displaced as his confidant when I came along.” Her face held a wry acceptance. “Research teams can be like families, resenting a newcomer because the dynamics have changed.”
“Not all families. I had a hard time accepting my stepdad, but I was old enough to see that my grandparents welcomed him from the very beginning.”
“You’re right, not all families. And by the time I earned my degree, the issues had resolved. People learn and grow. I still hear from them, asking how I am and if I’m coming back.”
“Is that something you’ve considered?” he asked, drawing a harsh breath.
“No. In fact, I’ve decided to concentrate my work on the wildlife in Montana and around Yellowstone.”
“What about Antarctica and the other places you talked about?”
“I’m happiest here,” she said simply.
It was a relief to hear, even if it didn’t answer all of his questions.
The truth he couldn’t escape any longer was how deeply he’d fallen in love with Alaina. She was the only future that mattered to him.
* * *
ALAINA BENT TO look through her camera, wondering why Gideon was so curious about the past. Her past, no less. He would tell her, sooner or later. Probably sooner if she didn’t push.
The approach of winter was no less thrilling or interesting because she’d studied the science behind it. The wolves were magnificent. Elk, deer and other animals were eating every bite of food they could find before snow covered the ground. And the deciduous trees had turned glorious autumn colors, a forerunner of the approaching winter.
A sense of anticipation filled the air.
Autumn was her favorite time of year and she’d taken picture after picture, trying to capture the changing season. Before long she’d have to use snowshoes to reach her various observation posts. Just the other day she’d photographed a standoff between the Wind Singer pack and a grizzly over possession of a kill. The wolves had ultimately surrendered; bears were so powerful, it was unlikely the pack would risk their small number fighting one. But by the end of November, the bears would be in hibernation and wolves would be on top.
Next to her, Gideon cleared his throat. “I’ve heard you’ve had more trouble in Bannister than you told me about.”
Oh. That was why he’d ridden up to see her.
Alaina straightened and made a face. “It doesn’t matter. I’m driving to Bozeman for everything now. Better selection, better prices, so it worked out.”
“It matters to me,” he insisted. “I expect more of my neighbors.”
“It isn’t everyone. And perhaps I just caught a few people on bad days.”
“That may be true for the most part,” Gideon said flatly. “But one of our strongest anti-wolf ranchers recognized you from an article about your husband. Yancy has a big mouth and relatives in town. He’s never stopped resenting wolves being introduced to Yellowstone, and he knows Mason Wright was one of the scientists who advocated for the government’s decision.”
That explained a lot. Yancy was the old guy she’d met in the post office; she remembered the postal clerk calling him by name.
“These things blow over,” Alaina said.
“He should be in jail for running you off the road.”
She let out an exasperated breath. “And I shouldn’t have told Libby what happened. We don’t know it was him.”
“An old red truck splattered with mud? Angry, aggressive driver? Sounds like Yancy. Deke seems certain, too.”
“It’s a moot point since I couldn’t read the license plate. Honestly, Gideon, this isn’t worth getting uptight over. A few people are still unhappy about something that happened a long time ago. So what? I should have realized that was the reason for things getting a little weird.”
“You should be outraged. I’m outraged.”
Alaina sighed. “Hey, I’ve heard my share of grumbling, and not just from Mason’s team. Before long the emotions settle down and things go back to normal. Besides, I don’t blame ranchers for being concerned about their herds. Wolves and grizzlies are a real threat.”
“Regardless, Yancy needs to be put on notice.”
“And I’m sure Deke has already done that. Please, it wouldn’t be right for you to get on bad terms with your neighbors because of me.”
“I can’t—”
“I appreciate the concern,” Alaina said quickly. “But things were a lot touchier when wolf reintroduction was first proposed. I’ve heard stories.”
“Stories are all you could have heard. Why didn’t you tell me your husband was so much older?” Gideon asked. “You were obviously happy with him. I might have felt better about Libby and Deke dating if I’d known.”
Alaina shook her head. “Age is just a small part of who Mason and I were as a couple. No matter what, you were going to keep finding things to worry about Libby and Deke because it’s hard for you to let go of being a protective big brother.”
“Am I really that bad?”
She finished her coffee and handed him the cup. “I think because your marriage was a mistake, you’re worried that Libby will make the same one. But have you stopped to consider that keeping her and Deke apart could be just as much of a mistake?”
Gideon’s brow creased. “No.”
“Then it’s fortunate Libby is too strong-minded to let anyone get in her way,” Alaina said with a reassuring smile. She longed to kiss him again, but he might get the wrong idea. Or the right one, her heart suggested. But it wasn’t easy to throw her inhibitions aside. Kissing him now had higher stakes than when they’d kissed after their playful water fight. Over the past few weeks, she may have accepted she was ready to love again, but the risks she’d taken with Mason had been different and she had already lost so much. It had been much easier to fling herself into romance when she was twenty-one and didn’t know how badly a shattered heart could hurt.
“Are you still generally opposed to marriage?” Alaina asked lightly, hoping Gideon would give her a hint about his feelings.
“I was never opposed, exactly. I just had a bad experience. Actually, I’ve been giving marriage a fair amount of consideration lately.”
Their gazes met briefly and Alaina’s pulse jumped. He undoubtedly felt something for her. Warmth, definitely. Love, maybe.
Perhaps she should have told him about the issues in town, but she’d hated the idea of adding to his worries.
Alaina was suddenly struck by irony. How many times had she objected to Gideon trying to protect her? Now she’d done the same thing. Was there any real difference between him being protective of her physical safety and her wanting to safeguard him from stress?
Relationships required give and take. Not that she was 100 percent sure this was a relationship yet, though she was becoming more optimistic.
A wolf howl echoed through the air, saving her from having to say anything. Together they leaned over to look into the river valley. No wolves were in sight, but that wasn’t unexpected since a howl could carry for miles.
“Why do wolves howl?” Gideon asked
after a moment.
“Mmm, lots of reasons. Affection, for one. And to help gather the pack or find each other. Sometimes to rev themselves up for a hunt or celebrate success afterward. It also warns rival packs away. But mostly I think they enjoy it, especially when they’re together. Wouldn’t you howl if you could?”
He grinned. “Probably. Are you staying up here another night?”
“Another several nights.”
While a tight expression flickered across Gideon’s face, he didn’t object. Whether he’d be so accepting once winter arrived was another matter. Still, she was resolved to be more understanding about it…especially if he was concerned because he cared about her.
* * *
BY OF THE third week in November, Gideon’s convictions about an early winter had been proven right. Snow lay in drifts around the ranch center and got deeper with each hundred-foot rise in elevation. Daytime temperatures were barely above freezing and the thermometer sank much lower at night.
At first Alaina had day-hiked to become accustomed to her snowshoes while pulling a loaded sled. It was both easier and harder than she’d expected. But soon she was going on overnight excursions, sometimes accompanied by Gideon. They still took the horses when they went together, which wouldn’t be feasible once the snow got much deeper.
Alaina enjoyed his company, though she felt guilty about taking him away from the ranch. Nonetheless, there was a peaceful simplicity to being alone with Gideon in the frozen wild.
And it brought clarity. As it turned out, the whole time her head had been worried about her heart getting torn apart again, her heart had already taken the leap.
She loved Gideon, wholly and completely.
“Libby tells me it isn’t unusual to see elk in the ranch compound during bad storms,” she said as they rode back from their latest outing.
“There’s more shelter between the buildings and they can find bits of hay. But they move back up the valley when anyone comes out.”
A smile played on Alaina’s lips. She was sure Gideon deliberately put hay out for the elk, at least during the worst weather.
How could she not adore someone who tried to protect wolves, elk and cattle, all at the same time?
And right now the cattle needed protecting.
She and Gideon had been up by 4:00 a.m., breaking camp. He was convinced a bad storm was on the way, much worse than predicted. He’d spoken to Nate on the satellite phone before light, telling him to start putting hay and protein cake out for the herds and that he’d be there to help as soon as possible.
“We could lose electricity,” Gideon said. He looked up as they approached the ranch. The sky was a leaden gray and the temperature was sinking rapidly. “Why don’t you stay in the main house until the storm blows over? We have a generator that keeps lights and refrigeration going when power is lost. You’d be more comfortable.”
“Thanks, but I’ll be fine in the cabin. If the storm lightens up enough, I’ll visit Rita in the calving barn.” Rita and her fellow orphans each weighed hundreds of pounds now, but Alaina still saw them as defenseless babies.
“She’ll be all right with the other calves,” he said gently.
“I know.”
Gideon hadn’t sold any of the motherless calves in October, which made Alaina happy. She would have hated seeing them leave.
They rode to the horse barn so he could unload the camping supplies Brushfire carried, where they were greeted by Jax and Ollie. Flakes of snow blew in through the open door and Alaina’s stomach twisted.
A whole day out in this?
Yet Gideon’s cowhands were already feeding the herds and he would never leave them to work alone.
“I know how this will sound after everything I’ve said…but be careful out there,” she urged.
Gideon pulled her into a tight embrace. “It sounds fine to me. And don’t worry. I have every intention of being around for a very long time.”
A moment later he and the dogs were gone and Alaina’s heart ached. Someday she would have the skill to help feed the cattle, but right now she’d just be in the way.
Determined to be useful, she unsaddled and groomed Nikko, then put a heavy padded blanket over him. She brought the other horses in and dried them off before putting blankets on them, as well. Then she went to the cowhand’s barn and did the same for their spare horses, making sure all the feed buckets were full and that they had fresh water.
While the snow was still light, Gideon’s urgency about the weather had communicated itself to her, so back at the cabin she brought armloads of firewood inside and stacked more on the porch by the door.
Her mother called shortly after she’d finished. “Hi, Mom, what’s up?”
“Unfortunately, nothing. We were going to surprise you for Thanksgiving, but the airline just canceled our flight. I’m so sorry. We wanted the family to be together for the holiday.”
Alaina’s eyes widened. “You were going to drop in from Connecticut?”
“Not exactly. We’ve had our tickets since August and I would have bought groceries before driving up there.”
Phew.
Alaina dropped onto a chair by the woodburning stove. She’d forgotten it would be Thanksgiving in a couple of days.
“Um, that’s too bad,” she murmured, wincing at the idea of hosting her parents and brothers in the tiny cabin.
“Your father and I can’t get away at Christmas, or we would have switched our trip to then,” her mother said regretfully.
“That’s all right,” Alaina assured her. “We can do a video call for both holidays.”
“It isn’t the same as being together.”
“I spent both Thanksgiving and Christmas in Port Coopersmith last year,” Alaina pointed out.
“I know, but we missed so many together when you…that is…when you and Mason were working. We thought that maybe, you know, eventually everything might get back to normal.”
Normal?
Alaina pressed a finger to her aching temple. “Mom, I love you, but my life isn’t in Connecticut any longer, and it hasn’t been for a long time. Things won’t ever be the way they were before I got married.”
“I didn’t mean… That isn’t what I meant.”
“I think it is. You want the old days back, before I grew up. But I’m a different person now, and I’m doing what makes me happy. I’m sorry you’re disappointed and I don’t want to hurt you, but please accept what I’m saying.”
A long silence followed, then her mother sighed. “I’m the one who’s sorry. What happened with Mason was so awful. It’s hard not to remember we could have lost you both. It made us want to hold on that much harder.”
“I understand, more than you know,” Alaina said gently. “But you didn’t lose me. Look, I should get off. I have things to do before the weather gets worse.”
They said goodbye and she breathed a sigh of relief. She loved her family and understood they worried, but she couldn’t return to being their coddled little girl.
Alaina shook the thought away and pulled out her Christmas decorations. Yet it was a restless energy that drove her rather than the desire to decorate.
All she could think about was Gideon out in the cold and how much she loved him, heart and soul and everything in between.
She looked across at the large ranch house. It had been built for a family and she wanted to spend the rest of her life there raising kids and taking pictures of Montana…if those kids belonged to Gideon, too.
* * *
SNOW SWIRLED AROUND Gideon and his employees as they rode up to the ranch, the dogs trailing along tiredly. It was almost dark, but the cheerful display at the far end of the property sent a murmur of appreciation through the weary group.
Gideon had rolled his eyes when Alaina put out white Christmas lights in June. Now he smiled, warmth w
ashing over him at the sight.
Twinkling multicolored light strings decorated the porch roof and lighted evergreen swags adorned the railings. What must be battery-powered candles flickered a welcome in the windows and a brightly lit Christmas tree sat on one side of the door covered with shiny ornaments.
“Hey, and somebody brought the horses in,” Jeremy said, brightening even more. “I bet it was Alaina.”
“Does she know about the meeting, boss?” Nate asked worriedly.
“No, and don’t say anything to her.”
The others nodded. An underlying tension remained in Bannister about Alaina’s presence on the Double Branch. She might believe everything would blow over, but Gideon wasn’t convinced. He planned to address it at the next ranch association meeting.
Nate and the other hands were attending in support, though they all agreed it was just a few people involved. Unfortunately those few people had made Alaina feel so unwelcome she wouldn’t go anywhere near the town.
The dogs settled on piles of straw in the barn, waiting while Gideon took care of Brushfire and checked on the rest of the horses. Griz woke, looked at him and snorted in apparent disgust, likely hoping it had been Alaina visiting.
“Sorry, pal.” He gave the horse a carrot.
He put Danger, Jax and Ollie in the house and said hello to his mom as he ran a towel over each dog and encouraged them to lie in their beds by the fireplace.
“Are you ready for dinner?” Helene asked. “I have stew and corn bread ready.”
“Sounds great, I just want to check on Alaina first.”
Gideon kissed her and then walked down to the foreman’s cabin. The door opened before he could knock and he saw relief in Alaina’s eyes.
“Thank goodness you’re done,” she exclaimed, urging him inside and handing him a steaming mug of coffee. “You are done, right?”
“For now. I wanted to thank you for bringing the horses in,” he said before taking a long welcome swallow.
She shrugged. “It wasn’t much.”
“It’s a lot to me, and to the men.”
The Christmas tree Alaina had gotten on their trip to Bozeman stood by the staircase, arrayed with nature-themed decorations and silver balls. As Gideon looked closer, a feline paw reached between the stair railings to swat an ornament.
Harlequin Heartwarming December 2020 Box Set Page 89
