“Hi, Mom,” I say.
I feel Aiden shift beside me but I ignore it.
“Is it true, Ronnie? Are you really up in San Francisco? Without even telling me? Do you know what you’re doing to my poor nerves? I already have to deal with three teenage girls and your father who, by the way, is just as moody as Erin is nowadays. My life is no picnic. And now I hear you’re off in some foreign place without telling me about it first. At least Taylor keeps me informed about her life.”
I bite my tongue to refute the last claim, considering that Taylor wasn’t forthcoming about her relationship with Stephen. Instead, I decide to focus on another statement she made.
“Mom, San Francisco is not foreign. It’s a forty-five minute plane ride. It’s still in California.”
And then, beside me, I feel Aiden shuddering. I wonder what his deal is and turn to look at him. His lips are pressed together, but even though he tries to fight it, he can’t. He’s laughing. At me. Apparently, I can be a joke but not him.
This is just great.
Fine.
I’ll apologize to him later.
“Sorry Mom, but I’m on the BART—”
“What’s BART? Are you watching the Simpsons up there and can’t spare two seconds for your poor mother? So much has happened since we last spoke, like Erin getting accepted into Harvard. Harvard, Ronnie, like Elle Woods from Legally Blonde. No community college for my Erin—” “My phone is probably going to cut out so I’ll talk to you later, okay, bye.” I snap the phone shut and lean back in my seat.
The day isn’t starting off great, but really, it can’t get any worse.
* * *
Once we leave the BART station, I realize I haven’t spoken to Taylor since I called her from the airport to tell her that I landed safely.
“You know,” I say as we walk down the street. “I should probably call Taylor to tell her what’s been up since I got her. Knowing her, she’s probably worried sick.”
“Who’s Taylor?” Kyle asks, pushing her brow up.
“Her sister,” Aiden answers for me.
“Good God, there are more of you?” Kyle teases.
“Four total,” Aiden says, “not including Marion.”
The fact that he knows how many sisters I have surprises me.
“Do you have taps on the whole family tree, Aiden?” Kyle says, nudging his cousin’s side.
“I highly doubt that,” I say. “Hannah probably told him in passing and he just remembered because he has a good memory. He wants to be a lawyer, after all.”
“Still…,” Kyle looks up at his cousin with a question in his eyes. “Sounds suspiciously like sentimentalism, Aiden. You’re not going soft on me, are you?” He looks back at me and juts his thumb at Aiden. “Did you know this bloke doesn’t even remember the love of my life’s name? We were together for three years, and every time they met, he addressed her by a different name.”
“It was Sandra,” Aiden says. “I remember, Sandra. Her name was Sandra.”
“It wasn’t Sandra,” Kyle says flatly.
“Brooke? That sounds right. Brooke.”
“No.”
“What happened to this girl?” I ask.
“It just didn’t work out,” Kyle says, and for the first time that I’ve been with him, he looks somewhat somber. “She wanted kids and marriage, though not in that particular order, while I wanted to finish school, get a job, that sort of thing.”
“Geri sounds right,” Aiden puts in.
“It was Emma,” Kyle finally says. “Her name was Emma.” He glances back at me. “Though I’m sure that was just an excuse, and she wanted to avoid ever meeting Aiden again.”
I smile, rolling my eyes. “You know,” I say, “Taylor would probably tell you that there’s some psychological reason why you refuse, even now, to remember Emma’s name.”
“Psychology is ballocks and you can quote me,” Aiden says.
“I’ll make sure to.”
I stop in my tracks at that moment because we’ve arrived at the fair, and it’s amazing. I didn’t think San Francisco had any room to house a fair because the city looks as crammed as it feels. Children are laughing, excited that their parents have allowed them to skip school in order to be here, there’s corny music that still gives me goosebumps due to the symbolism it presents me with—a reminder of my distant childhood. I can see the Ferris wheel just waiting to be ridden, along with a slew of other questionable though very creative rides, and I can’t wait to grab some cotton candy, a hot dog, and French fries. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.
Kyle, despite my insistence not to, buys everyone’s ticket and we walk inside. Since he paid, Aiden and I let him choose what to do first. Apparently, dear Kyle has a bit of a competitive streak and heads over to the game section of the fair. We all try our hand at the “Shoot the Target” game. There are two rows with five moving targets on each row. If you shoot seven, you get a purple colored teddy bear that’s as big as my torso. Kyle takes the first try and loses, so he moves on, leaving me alone with Aiden. Even though the awkwardness from this morning has faded, I know I need to apologize still.
But maybe not yet.
Surprisingly enough, Aiden not only shoots seven targets, he shoots all ten.
“Wow,” I tell him as the carnie hands him the bear. “That was amazing.”
Without warning, he hands me the bear. “Hannah doesn’t like bears,” he quickly explains before running his fingers through his dark hair.
“Thank you,” I murmur, pressing the bear against my chest and hiding my face so Aiden can’t see my blush.
“I learned how to shoot when I was ten,” he tells me, and I think he’s as uncomfortable with the silence between us as I am. “My parents…. They died shortly after, so I threw myself into it and made sure to excel.”
“I’m sorry,” I blurt out, not quite sure if now is the appropriate time. “I shouldn’t have said what I did. Hannah told me but I guess I forgot and—”
“It’s fine,” he says. We’re silent again, looking around for Kyle when he adds, “At least you didn’t forget your cousin’s girlfriend for three years and call her different names to her face.”
Oh my God, Aiden just made a joke. And it’s funny. We’re actually laughing together, like we could possibly be friends.
The day goes on much like that. I introduce the two to fried food, something Aiden refuses to eat because he’s afraid of getting a heart attack right there, but he does steal some of my cotton candy. We go to the petting zoo, one of my favorite places at the fair. I love feeding goats and pigs and chickens. I love petting cows and horses. Animals are important to me, so any contact with them makes me genuinely happy. I’m surprised to find Aiden feeding a particularly hungry sheep, only because I didn’t think someone like him would even come close to a barn, yet alone the animals that inhabit them.
And in that moment, something changes about him. I can’t explain what that is and I don’t try and analyze it. It’s a feeling that just is. Watching him with that sheep, sticking his hand out tentatively as though he’s afraid he’ll catch some kind of disease, and the adorable worried look on his face makes my heart flutter. Maybe Aiden Shawe isn’t as bad as I think he is.
By the time seven o’clock rolls around, the sky is practically dark.
“We should head back soon,” Aiden says after glancing at his watch. He looks at Kyle. “You know how Aunt Judy is.”
“We need to do one more thing,” Kyle says and then points to the Ferris wheel. “We have to ride that.”
My eyes light up with excitement. “I love the Ferris wheel,” I say with enthusiasm.
“I’m not exactly sure,” Aiden says, reaching up to cup the back of his head with his palm. “Should we really trust a device built by people who may not have high school degrees?”
“Our Aiden is afraid of heights,” Kyle tells me.
“That’s not true,” Aiden says. “I’m just not prone to being so h
igh, trapped in a death box that could plummet to the ground at any time.”
“Stop being such a baby,” I say, nudging him with my shoulder. And before I can stop and think, I grab his hand with my free one and drag him to the line. The bear is in my other arm and Kyle follows us, laughing as he does so.
Because it’s relatively late for school kids, the line goes fast. It’s only when we’re up that something startling happens. Instead of joining us, Kyle decides to ditch Aiden and me at the last minute in order to ride with some girl who doesn’t have anyone else to ride with. Don’t get me wrong, Kyle is very gallant by doing this, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that Aiden and I are going to be alone on a Ferris wheel at night. I’ve seen too many chick flicks to not know how this will inevitably go and I’m not at the point where I can accept that. I highly doubt Aiden is even remotely interested in me, but the tension is still thick between us, especially once the carnie closes the door and starts pushing the proper buttons that lift us upwards.
Every time we move, Aiden grabs on to the side of the compartment, holding on for dear life. I would offer him the bear, but I don’t think he’ll appreciate the gesture. Instead, I do what’s always worked for me despite how it may appear; I reach out and take his hand in my own.
“You need to relax,” I tell him in a soft voice. “Instead of thinking you’re going to die, why don’t you at least attempt to enjoy the view?”
I gesture at the city lights and feel my insides churn with warmth at the sight. Just because I prefer suburbs doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate the beauty a city has to offer. From beside me, I feel Aiden squeeze my hand a few more times, especially as we crawl to the top, but once his eyes fixate on the lights, I can feel him relax, albeit slightly.
“It’s beautiful,” he says.
I can only nod because there’s nothing else I can say. The sight is beautiful, and as much as I hate to admit it, the company’s not so bad either.
Chapter 13
It’s moment like these when I miss my father. He would no doubt say something along the lines of today being Take Your Daughter to Prison Day. And then he would laugh because he would think it’s clever.
Currently, I’m standing on a ferry, watching the impending island loom ever closer. It’s Wednesday, just after six, and I’m heading to Alcatraz on the night tour. Despite just opening a gallery, the dragon has some major connections. Kyle put them to good use after I found out every tour was booked for the duration of my stay up here, and thanks to the dragon, Kyle, Aiden, and I would be the last group to arrive and the last to leave at nine tonight. To be honest, I kind of wanted to go to the island by myself. Not that I’m not grateful, it’s just that I’m really into this and I don’t want to feel silly in front of people who don’t share my enthusiasm. Maybe I can ditch them during the audio tour.
The island isn’t as scary as it looks though. Maybe because it’s still sunny, or maybe it’s because even from my position on the third tier of the ferry, I can see the flowers that were brought over to the island in order to pretty it up way back in the day. Alcatraz never had flowers on it originally. I think it would look fine either way. No matter how much color is splashed on it, no one can change the fact that this was once supposedly the worst prison in the country. The sunlight shines down on us and I can make out the long prison. There’s a lighthouse in front of the building, and as the ferry sails around the long way, I look up at the dark, squared windows, wondering if I’ll meet one of the ghosts that haunt the place.
At least that’s what they say. That ghosts are here.
I think that would be cool, to encounter a supernatural being.
Once we dock, I meet back up with Aiden and Kyle as people swarm out.
“I’ll meet you guys up there,” Aiden says as we exit the boat. “There’s no fucking way I’m walking up all of that.” He gestures at the steep road we’ll have to ascend in order to get into the prison before heading off to where a tram awaits the elderly and disabled. It reminds me of the trams at Disneyland taking you to the actual park, but this tram is going to take you to a prison.
“Wow,” I say as we gather with our group. A tour guide who is fitter than I will ever hope to be—and no wonder, considering she has to walk up and down the slope as part of her job—begins talking about the history. I zone out though, because I know all of this. “I can’t believe Aiden is that lazy.”
“You think this is bad?” Kyle says in a low voice. “He actually rented a wheelchair at Disneyland so he wouldn’t have to wait in line all day.”
“You’re kidding,” I say. Kyle’s face tells me otherwise. “I mean, I hate to wait for things too, but sometimes, the waiting is the best part. Doesn’t he like to be excited about things?”
“Aiden’s not the type to get excited,” Kyle tells me as we begin our trek upwards. He looks at me and then adds, “But don’t get me wrong. As much as I tease him about being heartless, he really is loyal. He may not make friends as easily as some, but those he does have also have his loyalty.”
He stops talking and I’m grateful for two reasons: it gives me time to add loyalty to the short list—that’s getting suspiciously longer—of Aiden’s good qualities; and the tour guide asks if anyone knows the longest duration a prisoner stayed on Alcatraz. I, of course, answer. It’s Alvin Karpis, my boo, and he stayed here for nearly twenty-six years. Can you imagine? Being imprisoned for over a quarter of a century.
The man is an American hero. I’ll overlook the fact that he’s Canadian and everything.
“So he’s loyal, eh?” I ask Kyle once the discussion turns to the garden and architecture of the island.
“Oh yeah,” Kyle says with a nod. “In fact—this is actually funny—but one of his close friends was pretty infatuated with a girl, right? And his friend was already talking about a serious relationship and he’d been dating her not even three weeks. Crazy, right? His friend’s kind of a romantic. Infatuated was what Aiden called it. Infatuated and delusional. So Aiden talked him into going back home, England, for a little bit because obviously the girl wasn’t as interested in him as he was in her, and it would’ve been foolish for him to wear his heart on his sleeve when no one was sure about how she felt. At least that’s what Aiden thought.”
I am frozen.
How can I not have seen it? And here I was, thinking that it was Farrah who had separated Stephen and Taylor. But no, it’s Aiden. Aiden, who thinks he knows everything. Aiden, the man who made sure George couldn’t come to the New Year’s Eve party, who stole George’s girlfriend in college, who I danced with that night, who I rode the Ferris wheel with, who I thought I could possibly—
And there he is, standing there with his hands so casually resting in the pockets of his jeans, as though he doesn’t have a care in the world. And you know what? He probably doesn’t because he thinks he knows everything. Why would there be anything for him to worry about?
I hate him. I hate him very, very much.
“Took you long enough,” he says as we approach.
I can’t be around him. I can’t be around either of them. I have to think. And I want to explore my prison.
“So,” I say, and I close my eyes once I hear my voice hitch. After taking a deep breath, I open them to find both Aiden and Kyle staring at me quizzically. “I’ll see you around.”
I know that takes them off-guard, and really, I don’t mean to. I just need to be alone. I need to explore and think and to be alone.
I can hear my heart pound in my ears as I walk through the showers and I don’t even feel a volunteer dump an outdated tape machine with too-big headphones in my hand. I climb up the stairs. I start the tape. And even though I want to learn more than I already know, I can’t. I can’t hear or see or feel. I’m numb.
Fuck Aiden Shawe. I was completely content and ridiculously excited at the prospect of walking around the prison. This is my prison, which housed my boo! And here I am, incapable of concentrating. I feel like one of
the ghosts trapped here; I want to leave, but I just can’t. I see where I am, I see the people that pass, but I’m not connected to it. I see through them, past them, over them. I can hear them, but I’m not listening. I’m stuck with nothing but myself, this one moment of my life repeating like some song that I can’t listen to because it reminds me of an ex-boyfriend.
But unlike theses ghosts, I can leave.
That is it. I’m not going to let Aiden Shawe ruin my day. I want to be here. I am here, and I’m going to damn well enjoy it.
I listen to the tape and look at the cells they direct me to. I snap pictures at anything I find interesting, such as the kitchen-bakery, a place Alvin worked at while he was here, and Broadway, what the prisoners used to refer to as the cells between B and C-Block. I head over to the isolation cells, and find myself pleasantly surprised to find myself alone. The recording talks about some facts and prisoners that spent time here, and I manage a smile as I see Alvin’s picture splat in the middle between his partner in crime Doc Barker and the infamous Birdman of Alcatraz. I even wander inside D-14, the last cell in the isolation unit.
Thank God I haven’t run into Aiden or Kyle.
I plan to head down to the gift shop, but I decide to step outside in order to give myself some fresh air. I return my audio recording and step out of the prison, shocked when I feel rain.
How appropriate.
But the drops don’t deter me. In fact, as I mosey on over to where the lighthouse is, I feel myself relax under the rain. I’m alone; everyone has either scrambled inside or tried to find some kind of shelter. Everyone except for me.
How could Aiden do something so entirely heartless? How could he rip two people apart who obviously cared about each other? Is he that much of a jerk? It’s really none of his business anyway. I mean, Taylor and Stephen’s relationship was something that they worked on between themselves; they didn’t need any outside forces interfering, especially when said outside forces didn’t know how they were as a couple. They probably didn’t know themselves as a couple, and now they would never get to, thanks to Aiden Fucking Douchebag Shawe.
Four Sides of an Attitude: A Cufflinks & Austen Novel Page 12
