So I do it. I turn. And my breath vanishes. Because Aiden is looking at me in a way that makes it hard to breathe. And I was right; the shirt practically matches his eyes and makes them pop in a way I haven’t anticipated.
“I’m sorry,” I say without warning, without careful thinking. In fact, I think I just blurted that out. “I thought you were back in England.”
He shakes his head so some of his dark hair falls into his eyes. “No,” he replies. “We decided to return early.”
“We would not have come,” I begin but cut myself off. I don’t know why I’m not blushing and there are tears in my eyes. Am I being overly emotional at seeing him again, or is this some kind of hormonal thing? Oh God, I’m not about to start, am I? “I didn’t know this was your house, that my aunt wanted to see your house, that you even let your house get looked at by spectators.”
Shit. I’m babbling.
He doesn’t seem to know what to say, so he asks, “And you’re having a good trip, I hope?”
I don’t know whether to kiss him or sock him. I think I want to do both.
“Very good,” I say nodding my head. I press my lips together to keep myself from saying anything unnecessary.
“You look…well.” Aiden’s eyes drop down to my outfit and then back up to my own. It’s the first time I can actually read them. He wants me to say something, but I’m not sure if it’s the word goodbye.
It’s then that I can’t help myself. I know he’s making an effort to talk to me, and if he can be civil after everything we’ve been through, then so can I.
“Listen,” I say, reaching behind me to cup the back of my head. “I’m sorry I’m here. My aunt and uncle are huge real-estate enthusiasts and I had no idea this was your house, not until Barkley said so. And he also said that you were away so I thought looking around wouldn’t be a problem….” I stop. Okay. I‘ve said enough.
“I hear Taylor graduated,” he says.
This throws me off and I can’t help but nod. “Yes,” I say. “She has.” I look at the ground, wishing I could leave without looking like a bitch and yet longing for anything that will keep me in his presence for a few seconds more. “And Hannah passed her driving test.”
“Yes.” He nods again. “Would you like to stay for dinner?” he suddenly asks, and before I can reply, he continues, “Hannah would like to see you. I’m sure the two of you would like to catch up.”
“I don’t want to intrude,” I begin, trying to buy myself some time to think.
“You won’t,” he says quickly.
“Oh Ronnie, is this the Aiden Shawe?”
Our little interlude is crashed by Barkley, Uncle Walker, and Aunt Janie, the latter of which has just spoken and has this devious glint in her eyes. Like she somehow knows there’s something more going on between Aiden and I than I had previously expressed.
“Yes, ma’am,” Aiden says, tilting his head down as though he’s bowing to her. “I have asked your niece to stay for dinner, if that’s quite all right with you.”
“We need to head to Santa Monica,” Walker murmurs, looking at Janie.
“She doesn’t have to come with us,” my aunt points out, and I swear, it’s like she wants me to stay or something.
“And how is she going to get home? Ronnie may have a license, but she doesn’t have a car. She did ride with us.”
“We can take her back,” Aiden says. “My sister and I would have no problem driving her home tonight if this doesn’t interfere with your plans.”
I catch my breath again. I’m not sure what this means. It’s almost like Aiden wants me to stay.
“Well, Ronnie?” Janie asks, looking at me with her pointed stare. “We’re all right with it if you are. We can’t tell you one way or the other what to do, but we’re good with whatever you choose. The thing is, we need to get a move on. So you need to decide what you want to do.”
Chapter 17
“Okay,” I hear myself say. “Okay, I’ll stay. If you’re sure that I’m not going to be imposing.”
I look over at Aiden in hopes to try and decipher his eyes, the look on his face, and I’m surprised to find that I can. He looks happy, I believe, as well as relieved. In fact, his lips are even curled up into a small smile. Did he think I would say no? I probably should have said no, given our history together. Hopefully there won’t be any awkwardness between us. I’m sure there won’t be. I mean, we’re both adults. We can both act civil towards one another. And we’ll have Hannah there.
That thought makes me wonder if Aiden has told Hannah about what happened between us. But I don’t think he has. I mean, he’s always had this sort of quiet, brooding thing going for him, and I highly doubt his pride would let him tell anyone about us, let alone his sister. He probably still can’t believe that someone like him could even love someone like me, and it’s not likely he would volunteer that kind of information.
Then why am I staying?
We can be friends, remember. Just friends. At least for Hannah’s sake.
Jeez, now I feel like we’re some kind of recently divorced couple trying to maintain a happy façade in order to please our child.
“Good,” he says in a soft voice, nodding his head once.
“Yes,” Janie says with a decidedly different smile on her face. “Very good.” She turns to look at my uncle, and tilts her head to the front yard. “All right Walker, how about we leave these two kids alone, okay? It was lovely to see you Ronnie, and thank you so much for showing us around. We had such a lovely time. Give our best to Taylor, would you?”
“I will,” I tell her.
After our goodbye, Barkley murmurs something to Aiden along the lines of getting dinner started, and he, too, leaves us alone. We both stand there, me shifting my weight from foot to foot, wondering what to say and if I should say anything in the first place. The silence isn’t awkward, exactly, but I know it’s not comfortable. There’s something hanging in the air between us, but I can’t figure out just what that is.
“I hope you enjoy pasta,” Aiden says after another moment. “I remember you saying you aren’t fond of fish, so I took the liberty of telling Barkley to make pasta for us.”
“Oh.” I feel the edges of my lips tug up as I look pointedly at the ground, hoping the cool air will stop me from blushing. “You really didn’t have to. I could have eaten a salad….” I let my voice trail off, but Aiden doesn’t speak. “And pasta is fine,” I hastily add. “I love pasta.”
“Would you like to come inside?” he asks and I realize that he’s probably having as hard a time as I am.
Well, if he’s so uncomfortable in my presence, then why would he invite me to stay in the first place?
Okay, I need to calm down. Breathe in and out, in and out. There’s no reason to overreact this way. I can do this.
“Why doesn’t anyone use the living room?” I ask for no apparent reason other than the need to fill the silence with something, anything, besides my heart pounding in my brain. “Or sitting room. Whatever you call it.”
Aiden seems taken aback by my question, but not completely put off. In fact, I think I see his eyes lighting up with amusement due to my tactlessness, but he turns his head so I can’t see them and I can’t be sure.
“Normally, it’s just Barkley and me,” he says as he leads me through the piano room and into what I assume is the dining room. “There’s no reason for me to be down there by myself. I have my own room to relax, and Barkley has his own room as well.”
“Have you used it since Hannah came?” I ask because it’s the only logical question that will keep the conversation going.
“Use what since I got here?” a voice asks.
When I see Hannah, it’s like the worry I have for choosing to stay suddenly evaporates. She pulls me into a tight hug. Yes, I can do this. I can stay here and be with Aiden because I have Hannah. Hannah, whether she knows it or not, is my support system. If Aiden and I are alone, it would have been different, but I think both
of us are relieved to have someone in our corners, even if that someone is the same person.
“The sitting room,” I say when I pull back.
“I keep telling Aiden to have company over because it’s such a lovely room and I don’t want it to go to waste,” Hannah says, looking over at her brother with a teasing smile.
“Yes, well, school has been rather busy,” Aiden says in defense of himself. He stuffs his hands in his pockets and glances around the room.
“Really?” I ask him, perking my brow. “School is the reason why you don’t have people over? Are you sure it’s not your lack of social skills or your complete disregard of any company that leave your sitting room so depressingly empty?”
“I have been practicing since I last saw you,” he tells me, arching that damn brow of his.
“Oh yes,” Hannah says with an enigmatic smile on her face. “Aiden tells me that he ran into you up in San Francisco. I didn’t know Aunt Judy’s personal assistant Paul is the same Paul who asked you out.”
“Paul asked you out?” Aiden says.
“Let’s sit,” Hannah says.
“Yeah, well I didn’t even know you knew the dragon,” I say, and then flush. But Hannah seems amused by Judy Solomon’s nickname. “Well, Kelly wanted me to go up there for moral support. Apparently for Paul, meeting your aunt is worse than meeting the parents, but I think she liked Kelly. Who doesn’t like Kelly?”
“Wait a minute,” Aiden says from the head of the table, shaking his head. “Let me get this straight. Paul asked you out.”
“Is that so hard to believe?” I ask, hoping my voice doesn’t sound too defensive.
“What did you say?” Aiden says, completely avoiding my question.
“Obviously she said no or he would be taking Ronnie up there and not Kelly,” Hannah says, as though it is the most obvious thing in the world, and really, for someone as smart as Aiden, he should have put two and two together. “And anyway, Paul and Kelly are super-cute together and Ronnie’s saving herself for Joel McHale.”
“Joel McWho?” Aiden asks.
“Seriously?” I say, looking at Aiden with pity in my eyes. “Do you purposefully avoid pop culture or are you this clueless? Joel McHale is the funniest guy in the entire world.”
“He’s also very attractive,” Hannah points out, and she and I share a giggle while Aiden rolls his eyes.
“Why am I not surprised?” Aiden drawls.
“You know, we’re not as shallow as we sound,” Hannah points out. “Joel McHale is also a college graduate.”
“How do you know all of this?” Aiden asks.
“How do you not know all of this?” I return. “You know, if you’re going to be an American citizen, you have to start realizing that we care way more about our pop culture than our politics. Oh, and FYI, a lawyer isn’t that popular of a profession, especially not one from UCLA.”
When I finish, I suddenly realize what I’ve said. Have I gone too far? I know Aiden doesn’t like being teased, but I just got comfortable talking and completely forgot that I should walk on eggshells with him because I don’t want things to get even more awkward between us.
But he looks at me, his eyes shining, and his lips curled into a smile. A smile with teeth.
It’s probably the first miracle I’ve ever encountered. Not that Aiden Shawe can feel enough genuine happiness to smile like that, but that I can make him smile like that. My heart flutters against my chest like some kind of applause and my tummy gets warm. He’s really beautiful when he smiles.
“I would rather be a bear than a condom,” Aiden quips, causing Hannah to start laughing.
My eyes narrow, but I can’t help my delight at the fact that Aiden Shawe is now teasing me back. If that’s not an accomplishment, I don’t know what is.
“Okay, first of all—”
“Didn’t the Trojans lose that battle?” Hannah asks, interrupting me.
“Yeah,” Aiden replies. “They did.”
“Which makes them the obvious underdogs,” I point out. “Which makes them the obvious team to root for. And I’m sorry, but when was the last time UCLA beat USC in football—I’m sorry—American football?”
Aiden shrugs. “I don’t know, and quite frankly, I don’t care,” he says.
Before I can respond to that, Barkley announces that dinner is served and begins to hand out plates of delicious-smelling pasta.
It’s so easy. This whole dinner is so entirely easy that I can’t quite believe that I was worried about it in the first place. How silly of me! Of course Aiden and I can get along. In fact, if I may be so bold, I think we might actually be friends. But see, here’s the problem now. I see that I can actually get along with him and enjoy being around him, which makes it harder for me to move on from him. Because I think I’m in love with him.
“That was delicious,” I tell the two after Barkley has cleared our plates. “Thank you.”
“If you say thank you one more time,” Hannah threatens, waving her index finger at me.
“Would you like to stay for dessert?” Aiden asks me.
I should say no because it’s not smart, especially since it’s mandatory that I get over him and because that amazing pasta had an amazing amount of carbs.
“Sure,” I reply. Because I want to stay. And any excuse that helps me stay, especially if they offer, I would be willing to take.
I really am a masochist.
“Oh my God, Ronnie,” Hannah says, her face contorted into something resembling excitement. “You have no idea what Aiden got me as an end-of-term present!” I stare at her blankly, giving her permission to tell me. “It’s a karaoke machine! Oh, you have to stay and try it out! I’ve been wanting to, but we headed back to England and I never had the time. But now that you’re here and Aiden and I are here, we have the minimum number of people to do it without looking lonely.”
“Me?” Aiden asks, completely flummoxed.
“Yeah, because two people in the safety of your home singing along to karaoke is really going to start the rumors,” I drawl and arch a brow.
“I don’t sing,” Aiden throws in.
Hannah ignores her brother. “Ronnie, please?” she says, and she actually bats her eyelashes at me. “And I know you want to. I have all the good songs too, not just the oldies.”
“Did you just bat your eyelashes at me?” I ask.
“If I have to do it then so do you,” Aiden says, shifting his eyes over to me.
“Oh, and where’s that in the rulebook?” I ask.
“Please, Ronnie?” Hannah says again. “It would mean so much and I promise we’ll have fun. And we’ll even use the sitting room.”
“Did I mention she’s spoilt?” Aiden asks me sardonically.
“So are you, buddy,” I retort and then look back at Hannah. “Fine. But let me just call Taylor to tell her that I’ll be home later than usual because of karaoke.”
Fifteen minutes later, Hannah has everything set up. Apparently, Aiden really does spoil his little sister because he went all out with this karaoke machine. It has four microphones, a surround sound stereo system, and over a thousand songs to choose from, including a few in different languages.
“Okay Ronnie, you and I will sing a duet first,” Hannah says, and she gestures at me to stand up. “I know how much you love Eminem, so here we are.”
“Eminem?” Aiden asks.
“Oh God, please don’t tell me you don’t know who he is either,” I say as I stand.
“No, I do,” Aiden says. “You just don’t seem like the type of girl who likes Eminem.”
“Trust me,” I say. “I’m exactly the type of girl who loves Eminem.”
“And you’re really going to rap?”
“Shut it!” Hannah exclaims. “Aiden, you’re going to make her miss her cue.”
“Well, we wouldn’t want that, now would we?” he says, his lips curled up into a cryptic smile. “The floor is all yours, homie Gs.”
“Did he just—
”
Hannah nods her head. “He did.”
Karaoke is a lot more fun then I expect. Aiden actually joins in, preferring British punk rock circa the Rolling Stones, the Who, and even some Gen X. He, of course, tells me I’m a horrible singer and I call him a tosser, though I still don’t know what that means. When we actually start winding down, it’s well past midnight.
“Don’t worry,” Hannah says when she sees the look on my face. “We can wake Barkley—”
“He’s gone to bed?” I ask, feeling more than a little guilty at having to wake up Barkley just to take me home.
“Why don’t you spend the night?” The question comes from Aiden and he’s looking at me in a weird way that makes my stomach tumble into the walls surrounding it. “We have more than enough room, and Barkley can take you home tomorrow.”
After calling Taylor, Hannah shows me to my room, and for the fourth time in five minutes, I ask to make sure that me staying here is really okay, and for the first time she responds with, “If you ask me that blasted question one more time, I will take you out back and shoot you.” So I guess I have my answer. But still.
I didn’t know that dinner would turn into dessert would turn into karaoke would turn into a slumber party. Hopefully I’ll be able to get sleep. But it’ll be hard, knowing Aiden’s bedroom is right across from mine, and even though we’re friends, at least on my part, something inside tells me that there’s so much more to say.
* * *
He heard her walk in before he saw her, and the hair on his back stood erect in response. It still took some time getting used to the fact that she could have this sort of power over him, but after many late nights and analytical thoughts—all of which provided no new revelations regarding the woman in question—he found he was beginning to get used to it, and, dare he say, actually enjoy it.
Goodness, he didn’t know how she did it, but even with messy hair and tired eyes, she still looked remarkably gorgeous. She was wearing one of his shirts in lieu of pajamas since she didn’t bring any, and the top she had on probably wouldn’t offer her comfort. She had an extra pair of Hannah’s pajama bottoms on that were a tad too small for her and reached just above her ankles.
Four Sides of an Attitude: A Cufflinks & Austen Novel Page 16
