Grace Lost

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Grace Lost Page 6

by M. Lauryl Lewis


  Chapter 6

   

  I felt Boggs’ fingers running through my hair.  I tried to lift my head, but the bumps in the road made me feel sick to my stomach.  I gave up, kept my eyes closed, and let my head rest on his lap.  My nightmare came back to me suddenly and I opened my eyes wide.  “Boggs!” I tried to call out but my mouth was dry and speaking was difficult.  I had dreamt of him being shot in the head, and of not being able to reach him.

  “Shhhhhhh, I’m here Zoe.  I’m here.”  Boggs smoothed my hair back from my forehead after I sat up.  The SUV hit another rut and my stomach churned.  Car sickness had always been an issue for me.

  “How long was I asleep?” I asked hoarsely.

  Emilie passed a half-full bottle of water back to me.  As I opened the lid she answered.  “Only about twenty minutes.”

   I sipped at the stale water.

  “Bad dream?” asked Gus.

  “Ya, you could say so,” was all I said.

  I handed the water bottle to Boggs, and rubbed my eyes.  I could sense tension in the car.  “What’s going on?” I asked quietly.

  Gus sighed and Boggs looked at his hands, but neither of them spoke.  It was Emilie who answered my question.  “The gas light’s on.”

  “We were just talking about siphoning the next vehicle we come across,” said Boggs.  “Or using it.”

  “We haven’t seen many,” I said, stating the obvious.  “What if we run out of gas?  Then what?”   I could tell my own voice carried a trace of panic.  No one answered.  “Boggs?  Then what?”

  Boggs refused to look at me.

  “Gus?”  I said, hoping he’d give me answers.  “What if we run out of gas?”

  “Try not to panic, Zoe,” said the man driving.

  “Screw that!” I barked.  “What if we run out of gas?  What if those creatures come after us?  We only have two guns!”

  “It’s all we’d need, darlin’.”  Gus said after a long pause of silence.

  Emilie sat quietly in front of us, her head hanging.  I could tell she was fighting tears.  I ran Gus’ words through my head, slowly understanding that he meant that our guns were enough to end our own lives if needed.  I glanced at Boggs, who still refused to look at me.  Instead, he wrapped his arm around me, kissed the top of my head, and held me close.

  “There!” shouted Emilie.  “That’s the turn off!”  She was pointing off to the left, and at first I didn’t see it.

  “That tiny road?” asked Gus.  “You sure, Em?”  He sounded doubtful.

  “Yes!  See the mailbox that looks like a frog?  We always used to make fun of it!”  She looked back at me and Boggs.  Her face was lit with exhilaration, but I could tell by her eyes that she had been crying. 

  I sat up and Boggs loosened his arm.  Gus turned off of the highway and onto the small graveled road. 

  “Emilie, how far up do you think the cabin is?” asked Gus.

  “Not far.  A mile at the most?”

  “Ok kids, we need to be prepared to walk it.  Or run it,” said Gus.  “We’re driving on fumes.  If we don’t make it, we get out and lock the car, and leave everything behind but the guns.  Understand?”

  We all responded with silence, and Gus continued.  “If we make it to the cabin, we need to be prepared for a fight.  Either with the living or the dead.  Boggs, you bring up the rear, girls you stay between me and him.”

  “You got it, Boss,” said Boggs.  His voice held an edge of fear.

  “If we come across other survivors in the cabin, let me do the talking. If I sense a problem, I’ll talk about ‘big blue’ and if I do, you girls drop to the floor.  Boggs, keep your pistol ready.  I have experience in combat, and assume you don’t.  I’ll need you to keep your head about you, and not hesitate.  Can I count on you?”

  The way Gus was talking scared me, but I was also glad to be with someone willing to take charge.  I felt almost safe with him guiding us and Boggs at my side.

  When Boggs didn’t answer, Gus repeated himself.   “Boggs.  Can I count on you?”

  “Without a doubt.”  It was at that moment that the SUV sputtered and came to a gradual stop.

  “Ok, this is it.  As close as we can get.  Emily, darlin,’ I sure hope you were right about the turn-off.”

  “I’m right,” she said matter-of-factly. 

  “Ok.  Before we get out, listen and listen well.  No noise.  Close the doors quietly, but make sure they close.  We can’t risk the battery draining from left-on interior lights.  Hold the handles open and use your hip, then release the handle.  I’ll lock the doors.  Once we’re all out and the doors are shut, get into the formation we talked about and move forward.  I’ll set the pace.  If I run, you run.  Understood?”

  I nodded while Emilie and Boggs both said “yes” in hushed voices.  I looked at Boggs, and squeezed his hand.

  “Ok, on the count of three, get out.  One – two – three.”

  On Gus’ count, we all opened our doors and stepped out.  We did as instructed, holding the door handles open while using our bodies to soften their closure.  I heard the automatic locks engage, and looked around.  The area was heavily wooded and showing signs of approaching autumn.  The sun was well on its way to setting and there was a chill to the air.  The only thing I found odd was the silence surrounding us.  It hadn’t been long ago that we had noticed such stillness:  a lack of wildlife, birds, or cars.  The similarity to that first day when we ran from old Mr. Anderson sent shivers up my spine.  I wanted to tell Gus, but didn’t dare speak.  Boggs ushered me ahead of him, and I noticed his right hand held the pistol.  Ahead of me was Emilie, who had her arms wrapped around herself defensively.  Gus took the lead.  He had his shotgun loosely aimed ahead, ready for attack from any direction. 

  We picked up our pace to a healthy walk.  I was beginning to tire and my hip was starting to throb.  After several minutes, Gus slowed and turned to us, holding a finger to his lips.  We all stopped to look when he crouched and pointed.  I couldn’t help but smile when I saw a weathered two-story log cabin, knowing it might be a harbor of safety. 

  Gus whispered to us, “Let’s start by skirting the cabin to look in the windows.  It should give us an idea of what, or who, is inside.  Stay down, and stay together.”  He gave us all the “understood?” look, and I gave a thumbs-up signal.  Boggs and Emilie copied my gesture.

  We stayed crouched and closed the expanse to the cabin, using the natural growth of the forest to conceal ourselves.  It hurt my hip to do so, but it was a small price to pay for potential safety.  We followed Gus to a back window.  It was too high for any of us to reach alone, so Gus gave Emilie a boost upward.  It took her several seconds to study the inside, and then she slid down into Gus’ arms.  She looked like she belonged there despite their obvious age difference.

  “It’s dark inside,” she whispered as he set her down on her feet.  “No signs of anyone living.  No movement.  I see the kitchen.”

  Gus nodded to her.  “Good job, darlin’.”   He signaled for us to creep around the corner to the other side.  Boggs led the way.  There was a larger window here, down lower, so Gus himself peered in.  He copied my thumbs-up sign in approval. 

  Daylight was beginning to fade, so we hustled and moved around to the front door.  Gus signaled for us to stand back, which we did.  He walked up the three small porch steps and side-stepped to the door, which was solid wood but had two narrow panes of glass that ran vertically on either side. Staying off to one side, he peeked in through the closer of the two windows and watched for a long moment.  Satisfied, he motioned us forward.  As we approached he tested the knob, finding it locked as we expected.

  “I can’t see any signs of life inside,” he whispered.  “Looks like the furniture’s all covered.  That’s a good sign it’s vacant.  Boggs, we need to get inside.  I have to check out the top floor, though.  Stay here with the girls while I c
limb up?”

  Boggs nodded.  “Sure.”

  “Assuming it looks ok, I’ll check for an open window since the first floor is locked up tight.  If I find one I’ll go in and clear the structure from the top down, then let you all in the front door.  If there’s trouble before I get back, climb to the roof.”

  “What if there’s not?” asked Emilie.

  “Not what?” asked Gus.

  “An open window,” she huffed.  “How will we get in if you don’t find an open window?”

  Gus stared at her for a minute then winked at her.  “I can break in, don’t worry.”

  Gus walked to the edge of the covered porch and skillfully scaled a post, using an uncared for flower pot as a step.  I looked at the withered, brittle plants and dry cracked soil and was hopeful it was another sign of abandonment of the building.  I looked back to Gus, who was already pulling himself up onto the porch roof.  We briefly heard his steps above us.

  The three of us waited there together, on edge and cold.  Emilie looked pale in the fading evening light and Boggs had circles under his eyes.  It seemed like an eternity before the front door opened.

  “Welcome home,” whispered Gus.

  Emilie smiled and hugged the man as she entered.  “Are you sure it’s safe?” she whispered back at him.

  “Yup.  Come on in.”  He opened the door wide and Boggs and I eagerly crossed the threshold.

  Boggs closed the door softly behind us, and then locked it.  The inside of the cabin was dark aside from the fading light filtering in through windows. 

  “It’s too dark out to secure windows tonight,” said Gus, finally speaking above a whisper.  “I think we should lay low on the top floor for tonight, stay quiet, and regroup with securing the place in the morning.  There’s a small attic.  I think we should hunker down in there.”

  I looked around the room and wondered about the covered furniture.  “Looks like it hasn’t been used in awhile,” I said.  “Gus, what all’s upstairs?”

  “Three  bedrooms, a bathroom.  A closet and a hallway.  A small attic.  That’s about it.”

  Emilie had her arms wrapped around herself again. She walked into the kitchen and started looking through cabinets.  “Look!” she cried out softly.  “There’s stuff left!”

  We walked into the kitchen as a group and looked though the cabinets.  There wasn’t much to choose from, but we were grateful to have found anything.

              We each grabbed a couple of things from the shelves then walked to the stairway together and climbed.  It was even darker on the second floor. 

  “Walk to the end of the hall.  Just set what you grabbed off to the side and I’ll pull the ladder down,” said Gus.  “We’ll light a candle once we’re up there.”

  “You cleared the attic, right?” asked Boggs.

  “Of course,” said Gus as he pulled on a rope hanging from the ceiling.  A ladder unfolded with several squeaks.   “I’ll try to oil that tomorrow,” he said while rubbing his chin with one hand.  “Ladies, go ahead and climb up.  Stay low though ‘cause the ceiling’s short.”

  Gus handed Emilie a lighter from his jeans pocket and she and I climbed up into the little room.

  “Give us just a minute to bring some candles up,” said Gus.

  Emilie and I scooted back on our butts until our legs were all the way up, and not long after Boggs scaled the ladder and handed us a pillar candle.

  “Thanks Boggs,” I whispered.

  “No problem,” he replied.  “Gus found a whole drawer full.  He said to go ahead and light it so he can check from outside to see if any light is visible.”

  “’Kay.”

  Emilie ignited the lighter on her third attempt, and used it to light the dusty candle.  The cramped attic was set aglow. 

  “I’m going with Gus.  You two stay put,” said Boggs, to my dismay.

  “Boggs?” I called.

  “Hmm?”

  “Just…be safe.”

  “We will.”

  Emilie and I sat there facing each other, both looking worried.

  “Zoe, can I ask you something?” she asked quietly.

  I looked up. “Sure.”

  “How old do you think Gus is?”  She blushed slightly.  “He’s been in the Army.  Do you think he’s really old?”

  I figured she must be asking because she was smitten with him.  He was a pretty good looking guy, after all. 

  “Em?  Why do you ask?”  I teased her.  Her cheeks reddened more.  “I think he’s older than you,” I said.  Maybe in his thirties?”  I shrugged again.  “You can ask him.”

  “Noooooo, he might get the wrong idea!”  She looked horrified at the thought.  I stifled a chuckle, for the moment almost forgetting my fear.  It felt good.

   “So this is where your family spent vacations?”  I asked Emilie.

  “Every summer till I was twelve.  After that my folks divorced, and the good times ended.  Joey had just been born. My mom got so depressed that I pretty much raised him myself.”  Tears filled her eyes.  “I wish he could be here with us.”

  The sadness emanating from her was heartbreaking.  I leaned forward and hugged her. “Me too.”   We jumped when Boggs and Gus returned to the ladder.

  “Joey and I were camping for the weekend,” she said, her breath catching between words.  “We were out in the woods on a stupid camping trip.  I should have told him no…”

  “Shhhh, Em, none of us knew something this screwed up would happen.  It’s not your fault.”

  The men carried the food and some knives from the kitchen up the ladder, interrupting her recall of events leading to her brother’s death.  Emilie and I used the candle light to check for dates and seals as a distraction.  Before long the men also carried up some blankets and pillows.

  “Looks comfy,” said Emilie.  She was looking tired.

  “Find anything useful food-wise?” asked Gus.

  “All the dates are good except for a can of baked beans,” I answered.  “So we have three cans of soda, a bag of beef jerky, a jar of Nutella, a tube of Pringles, a bag of dehydrated apricots, and two cans of peas.”

  “Yum,” joked Boggs.

  “The attic looks light-tight,” said Gus.  “We should stay up here for the night, so before I pull the ladder up if you need to use the facilities now’s the time.”

  “I do,” moaned Emilie.

  “I’ll go with you,” said Gus. 

  “Em, you want me to go instead?”  I asked, thinking she might be more comfortable with me at her side.

  She shook her head no.  “That’s ok.  I’ll let Gus wait outside.”

   “You two can go next,” said Gus politely.  “We’ll hurry.”

  Gus climbed down the ladder first, followed by Emilie.

  Boggs and I were left alone.  I turned to face him and found that he was sitting closer than I expected.  He put his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes.  “I’m sorry you got so scared today, Zo,” he whispered.  He moved his hands lovingly to the sides of my face, placed his forehead against mine, and breathed deeply.

  “I thought you were dead, Boggs,” I whispered.

  He wrapped his arms around me and held me until Gus and Emilie returned.

  Boggs and I climbed down the ladder, and worked our way through the dark to the bathroom at the other end of the hall.  Boggs offered to wait outside, but I insisted he come with me.  I wasn’t ready to be out of his sight again.  He politely turned his back while I used the toilet, and I did the same for him. 

  After we were done, we walked hand in hand back to the ladder.  We climbed up into the room, and I saw that Gus and Emilie had laid out the blankets and pillows in the only space that permitted. 

  “Welcome back,” said Gus.  “If everyone’s ready let’s pull up the ladder and settle in for the night.”

  “Sounds good,” said Emilie just before yawning.

&n
bsp; Gus crouched down and pulled the folding ladder up.  He left the rope handle dangling below.

  “Shouldn’t we pull the string up?” asked Emilie.

  “No, I don’t think so,” said Gus.  “It’d be a sign to someone that we’re up here.  Instead we’ll hold it shut from our side.”  He set to doing just that, wedging a wooden spoon from the kitchen between one of the rungs of the ladder and the wood frame of the hatch.

  “Let’s eat a quick snack then try for sleep.  Zoe, you need another pill, darlin.’”  Gus reached into his jeans pocket and fished out the small bottle of pills.

  “You brought them with,” I smiled.  “Thanks Gus!”

  “Of course I brought your pills. I don’t want to clean up anymore puke,” he said with a smile to tease me.

  Boggs popped the tab on a soda and handed it to me.  I used it to wash down my pill, and then took a piece of beef jerky from the bag that was being passed around.  Without saying anything, we all knew to ration our meager supplies.  If my friends were like me, they weren’t particularly hungry and instead craved sleep.  We all shared the can of pop, and set our goods from the kitchen and the two firearms off to one side.  Gus thoughtfully tucked the bottle of antibiotics back into his pocket. 

  The four of us settled in on the floor.  With not much more space than the footprint of a large closet, the attic didn’t allow for us to spread out.  We all slept beside each other.  The two men protectively took places sandwiching me and Emilie.  The floor was hard, the two quilts we lay upon not offering much in the way of comfort.  Boggs had thought to bring a king sized thermal blanket from one of the bedrooms, which we all shared as a cover.

  “Night, all,” whispered Gus as he blew out the candle.

   I felt Emilie turn away from me so that she was facing Gus. 

  Boggs whispered to me.  “I’m cold.”

  I rolled over to face him.  “Me too.”

  We held each other for warmth.  His fingers gently tracing circles on my arm sent me off to sleep.

  I woke with a start.  My eyes were open but everything was black.  I could hear breathing, but for a moment had no idea where I was or who was with me. 

  “Zoe,” moaned Boggs sleepily.  “What’s wrong?”

  My heart had started pounding, but his voice brought me back to the here and now.  “Nothing,” I whispered.  “I just woke up a little confused.”

  Emilie stirred beside me.  “You ok Zoe?”

  “Ya, I’m fine.”

  Gus’ lighter flickered on, illuminating the room in a dull glow.  I had a hand over my chest and looked around.  Nothing seemed amiss.

  “Zoe?” asked Gus.  “You sure you’re ok?”

  “Ya,” I answered.  “I just woke up and wasn’t sure where I was.”

  Boggs was sitting up beside me now.  “What time is it?” he asked no one in particular.

  “Seven,” answered Gus after checking his watch.  “We should get moving, check the place out in the light and secure it.”  He lit the candle.

  Emilie sat up and stretched.  Her red hair was messy from sleep.  “Something stinks,” she said. 

  “Probably the four of us is all,” said Gus.  “I don’t smell death today.  Let’s hope it stays that way.”

  Boggs yawned.  “Gus, I think we should leave the girls up here while you and I recheck things downstairs.  Make sure nothing got in overnight.”

  “I agree.  Emilie, Zoe, we’ll just peek around and let you know when it’s safe.”  Gus reached for the spoon holding the hatch shut, and dislodged it.  “Boggs, do you mind readying your pistol?”

  “Sure thing.”  Boggs reached over and armed himself with the pistol, then positioned himself in such a way as to have the best view once the ladder was lowered.

  The ladder descended with a squeal when Gus lowered it.  Boggs kept the pistol aimed downward into the hallway.  Nothing stirred, so he climbed down.  I saw him crouch and he kept the gun aimed toward the stairs leading away from the second floor while Gus descended to join him.

  “Zoe,” whispered Emilie.  “I need to use the bathroom.”

  “Me too Em, but we better wait.”

  She and I waited for several minutes.  We flinched in tandem when we heard a crash from somewhere in the cabin.

  “What do you think that was?” whispered Emilie, alarm.  She clutched at my arm.

  “I’m not sure, Em.  Probably one of the guys knocked something over.”

  We listened for several seconds, glad to not hear anything else unexpected.

  “Zoe, I really need to use the bathroom.   I’m going to climb down to pee and come right back. The guys won’t even know.”

  “Emilie.  I think it’s a bad idea,” I said.

  She was already halfway down the ladder.  Not wanting to be alone, I climbed down after her.

  We crept down the short hallway together, treading lightly to avoid making any noise.  Daylight was creeping in from under the curtains in the three bedrooms, and the bathroom had a small window with privacy glass.  It helped us to see, but the rooms were still dim.

  “Emilie, I’m going to check out the bedrooms while you use the bathroom,” I said as quietly as I could. 

  “Just don’t go far, ok?” she replied.

  Emilie walked into the bathroom, leaving the door ajar.  I stepped across the hall, entering a bedroom.  Lack of a closet and the presence of an armoire, along with half the ceiling sloping from the pitch of the roof, suggested the building might be old.  There was a small vanity along the far wall and an intricate cedar chest at the foot of a queen sized bed.  A dark brown leather chair sat near the door.  One wall was covered in a green and gold floral print wallpaper. I found the room charming.  The bed sat on a wrought iron frame with intricate patterns on the headboard.  I decided that I wanted to claim the room for myself. 

  Boggs snuck up behind me, wrapping his arms around me.  Startled, I jumped.  “It’s ok, it’s just me.  Is this the room you want?” he asked me softly.

  His hands were clasped around me, and I reached up to gently hold his arms. “Yes,” I said simply.

  “Can I share it with you?”

  I swallowed a lump that had formed in my throat and after a pause answered quietly.  “Yes.” I closed my eyes as he turned me to face him.

  “Zoe?” he whispered.

  “Hmm?”

  “You stink.”

  I opened my eyes.

  “So do you, Boggs.”

  Emilie interrupted the moment by clearing her throat.  We both looked to the doorway of the room, still holding each other.  The redhead stood there with Gus behind her.  “The rooms are all different from when I was here last.  Someone redecorated.  You guys taking this one?”

  “Ya, if you don’t mind?” I said.

  “Sure. I think I’ll take the one on the other side of the hall.”  She grinned and side stepped down the hall, and disappeared into another room. 

  Her mention of you guys had made my face warm.

  “Ok, Zoe, I’m not trying to be harsh but you girls need to pay attention the next time we say to stay put,” said Gus in a serious tone.  “If something had gotten in the house and we missed it, we couldn’t have kept you two safe.”

  Boggs added to the conversation.  “He’s right Zo.  Let us do what we can to keep you two out of trouble, ok?”

  I looked up at Boggs and nodded.  “Sorry.”

  He ruffled my hair.  “Gus and I need to gather some supplies to board up the windows.  It means going outside.  The cabin is clear, so it’s fine for you girls to head downstairs.”

  Gus interrupted.  “I’ll go have a talk with Emilie.”  He headed toward the room where Emilie had gone.

  “It’d be helpful if you and Emilie could keep watch of sorts from the porch while Gus and I go out to the shed.”

  “No problem, but do we get a gun?”

  “Yes, you get a gun, Zoe,” said Bog
gs with a roll of his eyes, teasing me.  “Let’s go downstairs.”

  We walked into the hall together, and saw Gus standing at the doorway to one of the other bedrooms, scolding Emilie about leaving the attic.

  Boggs led me downstairs.  The first floor was much brighter than the one we had just left.  Gus and Emilie joined us only moments later.

  “Ok, some safety tips.  Stay away from the windows.  I think it’s best to stay as quiet as we can.  There’s a lot to do today so let’s head into the kitchen and scrounge some food,” Gus was getting good at directing.  I admired that.

  We ate cold green beans, canned tuna fish, and peanuts. We washed it all down with grape flavored Capri Sun pouches.  Gus made sure I took another pill.  The guys went over the plans to raid the shed.  They would keep the shotgun with them and we would keep the Kahr on the porch with us.

  We walked out the front door as a group.  We said very little, and listened intently.  A few birds twittered, the sky was blue, and a slight breeze blew.  The air smelled clean.  Emilie and I watched as Gus and Boggs walked the short distance to the shed.  Since she had more shooting experience than I did, we decided she would hold the pistol.  We sat on the steps together, watching and listening intently.  I could tell it was going to be a long day.

   

   

   

   

 

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