by Anna Bell
Jess couldn’t believe Jake had done this. It was properly romantic.
She sat down on her bed, like an excited child at Christmas, and unravelled the ribbon on the box. She took off the lid and there was a New York snow globe. Inside the globe was a cityscape of New York with the Empire State Building prominently in the centre. Jess shook it and watched the snow scatter over the buildings.
She then noticed there was a note in the bottom of the box.
Jess,
A little something to remind you of how brave you were and how you can always overcome your fears.
Jake
Jess smiled, she couldn’t wait to get ready for the night out now. She wanted to thank Jake in person. She opened the champagne and managed to drink the best part of a glass before heading to the shower.
An hour later, once she’d done her first stage of getting ready, she heard the phone ringing in the room. Expecting it to be Jake she picked it up excitedly.
‘Miss Anderson, I have your mother on the phone for you.’
‘Ok, thank you, put her through.’
‘Hello, Mum?’
‘Hi Jess love.’
‘Is everything ok?’ Jess couldn’t remember the last time her mother had called her by surprise when it didn’t involve news of an elderly relative having passed away.
‘Oh, its fine, pet. I just wanted to check how your presentation went?’
‘It went fine, thanks.’ Jess could barely string a sentence together. She was so shocked that her mum had obviously taken an interest in what was going on in her life, and was thoughtful enough to ring and check on her progress.
‘That’s great. Your father and I just wanted to check before we turned in for the night. We’ll speak when you get back on Sunday. Have a great evening at the ball.’
‘Will do. And, Mum, thanks for phoning, you have no idea how much that means to me.’
‘Ah, pet. Love you.’
Jess almost choked saying ‘I love you’ back to her mum before she put the phone down. She couldn’t believe how free and easy going that conversation had been. She’d spoken to her mum twice this week and if she spoke to her on Sunday that would be three times in a week. That would be like some sort of record.
It hadn’t really hit Jess how much she’d missed her friendship with her parents since she’d moved to the US. But hearing her talk just then made her remember what their relationship used to be like.
Jess filled herself up another glass of champagne. This time it wasn’t so much in celebration as it was in commiserating her relationship with her parents. She looked at the alarm clock and saw that she only had forty-five minutes before the car picked her up and she still hadn’t done her hair. She didn’t have time to wallow in the past when there was blow-drying to be done.
Forty-five minutes later Jess was ready to go. She stood in front of her full-length mirror and turned from side to side, admiring herself from the front and what she could see of the back.
She’d never worn a designer dress before. It was Valentino and she knew it must have been expensive, but it was worth every penny, in Jess’ book. It clung in all the right places and actually made her look as if she had womanly curves.
Jess was just wondering whether she should go down to the lobby to wait for her car, when the phone in the room rang to alert her that it was waiting outside. She slipped on her heels and gave herself one last look in the full-length mirror. She noticed the snow globe and gave it a shake for good luck, hurrying out of the room before the snow began to settle over the china New York City.
All the way to the Waldorf she was nervous about seeing Jake. She’d wanted to kiss him after the presentation but after the run-in about the Clarity email the moment had passed. But tonight would be a perfect opportunity. They’d both be dressed up, and there would be champagne and dancing. Serena Brook was playing, surely there’d be a little bit of slow dancing.
Jess’ stomach had butterflies in it; the nerves were starting to get to her. She tried to concentrate on reapplying her lip gloss but her hands wouldn’t stop shaking. The driver pulled up at the hotel and the doorman held the door open for her and offered her his hand.
Jess felt like a movie star. Here she was getting out of a town car at a five-star hotel and she was dressed in Valentino. It was the most incredible feeling.
‘Thank you,’ said Jess to the driver and the doorman.
She shuffled into the lobby, trying to work out how to glide elegantly in her fish-tale dress and teetering heels. She couldn’t wait to see Jake and she desperately wanted him to be blown away. She wondered if he was this excited.
She looked around the lobby to see if she could see him, but there was no sign of him. There were a few guests in their tuxes and ball gowns, but no Jake. It was unlike him, or unlike what she’d got to know of Jake. She pulled out her Blackberry to see if he’d sent her a message, and she saw she had a missed call from him. Her heart skipped a beat in anticipation of hearing his voice as she dialled the voicemail number.
‘Jess, I’m so sorry, I can’t take you to the ball tonight. Something has come up, a personal thing, and I’ve got to take care of it. I’m sorry. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.’
Jess redialled the message to hear it, as she thought there must be more to the message. Something personal; what was that about? And why hadn’t he asked to take her to breakfast before work?
She hung up the phone and stared at it. She couldn’t believe that Jake had stood her up. And the tone of his message was so formal and business like. It was like he’d forgotten their amazing night last night when she’d started to fall for him up the Empire State Building. She knew he’d felt it too; he couldn’t be that good an actor. And there was the champagne and the snow globe. Surely he wouldn’t have sent that if he planned to cancel all along?
She knew she shouldn’t call him back to see what better offer he’d had, but she couldn’t resist it. His voicemail message clicked in immediately; she guessed his phone was off. Whatever had come up he didn’t wish to be disturbed.
Some family emergency had to have come up; surely that was the logical explanation. Jess tried to tell herself that it didn’t necessarily mean he didn’t want to go to the ball with her, but she still had a niggling doubt in her mind.
Jess wondered what she should do. She was all dressed up, and had somewhere to go to, but she didn’t know if she could face going to the ball alone. She hated the thought of still not recognising anyone, and having to treat every conversation like she might possibly already know the person involved. It was exhausting. Without Jake by her side she simply couldn’t face it.
She looked out of the window of the lobby to see if she could see her town car, but it had gone. She wondered if she could get out of the lobby and find a taxi before she bumped into anyone she knew. She’d sneak back to the hotel and take a bath and wait patiently for Eric’s reply to her email.
She turned round and walked straight into Jake’s boss, Roger.
‘Jessica!’
She had no hope of making a get away now.
‘Hi, Roger.’
‘Jessica, you look fab-u-lous,’ said Roger, taking her hand and kissing it in a creepy 1980s’ way.
‘Thanks, Roger.’
‘I just got a message from Jake saying he can’t make it. Did he call you, too?’
‘Yes, I just picked it up, something about an emergency?’
Roger nodded. ‘Poor Jake; unavoidable I’m afraid.’
Jess wanted to know just what the emergency was, as Roger appeared to have had a more detailed message.
‘Well, I’ll have to host you this evening then, Jessica. Can’t have you by yourself, now. Come on, Serena Brook is going to be fan-tastic.’
Roger offered his arm to Jess. She looked wistfully at the door and any thoughts she had of going back and having a long hot soak in the bath, brooding over Jake, disappeared as she was forced to take Roger’s arm. She held her head up as high as she could
and wondered if it was going to be as bad as she was imagining it would be.
Chapter 29 – Jessica Anderson
Jessica walked back to the apartment, trying her best to ignore the banners of NYU that hung from the flag posts. She didn’t want to think about the department of Asian Studies or the SinoDam scandal.
Katie had been right: she had to sort out her life with Benjy before she did anything with Jake.
It was just all so confusing. Up until last week she’d spent her life in London, wishing she’d meet a man and wondering about Benjy, the only man she’d ever loved. And it was like the universe had made her wish come true. Here she was married to the one that got away, and not only that, she had also met her dream man and he was interested in her too. It wasn’t fair.
Jessica knew that the right thing to do was to work things out with her husband; whether she remembered him being her husband or not. This was the man who for years no other man could measure up to; the man who had been able to make her knees quiver with one single touch on her hand; the one who seemed to read her mind and was guaranteed to make her smile.
If he used to make her feel that way, then surely he still could? Katie was right. Jessica just needed to spend more time with him; rekindle the old magic.
Poor old Benjy hadn’t realised that for Jessica it was like she hadn’t seen him for seven years. How was he supposed to have known that, if Jessica hadn’t told him? For him he saw Jessica all the time and didn’t realise this week was anything special. No wonder he hadn’t been sweeping her off her feet at every opportunity.
She walked back into her apartment and picked up her phone. She needed to pluck up the courage to phone Jake and let him know that she wasn’t going as his date for the ball.
Part of her, a big part, wanted to still be able to go with him. She wanted to dress up like a princess and she wanted to kiss him again.
She wondered if she could just go to the ball. She was trying to justify it to herself as saying goodbye to her old life. One last hurrah. And she did need to at least warn Jake of the possible problem with the SinoDam and Google Maps.
She thought it was strange that he hadn’t returned her call from earlier on, but she guessed he was busy with the conference and Patricia’s presentation.
Jessica decided to put the phone down and get in the shower. After all, if she was going to go the ball she needed to look her best. She also needed to come up with a plan of how she was going to leave and re-enter the apartment in a ball gown without Benjy seeing her.
She then thought of her gorgeous Valentino dress that she’d bought. She sighed loudly and pulled out the long, floor-length, grape-coloured dress. It was pretty, but it was no Valentino. But somehow she hadn’t felt right going to buy a new ball dress, she still felt like she was spending someone else’s money.
She slipped into the shower to start the getting ready process.
The one good thing about the apartment, Jessica had decided, was that the shower was amazing. She’d spent far too long in it washing her hair, and spent a fraction of the time blow drying it. As she switched off the hairdryer she froze, as she could hear noises in the apartment. She looked around the bedroom for anything she could use as a weapon to scare off the burglars. She picked up the hair dryer and wondered what exactly she was planning to do with it. She picked up a tin of hairspray, which was the heaviest object she could, opened the bedroom door slowly and sprang out.
‘Holy shit, Jess! You scared the crap out of me,’ said Benjy, walking out of the kitchen with two full champagne flutes in his hands. He managed to only spill a little bit of the foam onto the floor.
‘Likewise. What are you doing home so early?’
‘Well, I’ve been thinking that we haven’t been spending a lot of time together lately, and I thought we should, you know... rekindle some fires.’
Jessica took the glass of bubbles that she was offered and thought it was amazing that he had said exactly what was on her mind, and in the exact same words. Only they weren’t her words really: they were Katie’s. She must have given him a ring and told him what to do. It was very typical Katie.
‘Did you speak to Katie this afternoon?’ asked Jessica, taking a sip of her drink.
‘Ah, is it that obvious? You women and your intuition. Yes, Katie phoned me after lunch. But she’s right: we do need to spend some time together. Lately, with the new drummer in the band and talk of the tour, I’ve been distracted. And it’s time I stopped neglecting my beautiful wife and spent some quality time with her.’
He kissed Jessica gently on the lips and she felt herself tense up at his touch. He rubbed her on the back, not noticing her reaction and went off into the kitchen to retrieve the bottle of champagne and a bouquet of flowers.
‘These are for you. To say... I love you.’
Jessica took the flowers. They were a gorgeous assortment of all her favourite flowers: pink Gerberas, sunflowers and blue delphinium. She was confused at first as to how he knew her favourite flowers, and then it hit her that this was one of the nice things about being married; the fact that someone knew you better than perhaps even yourself.
‘They’re beautiful. Thank you, Benjy.’ She was caught momentarily in the moment, and returned a kiss on his lips.
‘I thought we’d go out tonight. I could take you to Angelo’s we haven’t been there for ages.’
‘Sounds great,’ said Jessica. It hit her that her plans for that evening would have to be cancelled, after all. She felt disappointed that she was no longer seeing Jake that evening. She knew she could probably tell Benjy that she couldn’t go with him as she had other plans, but it felt like their marriage depended on this evening. Her turning round and walking out would probably be more symbolic than she intended.
He topped up her glass, causing Jessica to do an emergency sip before any more of the foaming bubbles spilt over the floor.
‘I’m sorry that things haven’t been the best lately but, Jess, you know I love you more than anything else in the world.’
Jessica looked deep into Benjy’s eyes. For years she had dreamt about when he used to say that to her; he was the only man who ever had. The ironic thing was that she’d wished for so long he’d come back into her life and say something like that, and here he was saying it and he was suddenly the wrong person.
She wondered just how much Katie had told Benjy. Jessica found it unnerving that Benjy and Katie spoke to each other without Jessica. Normally, if she mentioned Benjy, Katie practically threw a fit.
Whatever had triggered his sudden display of affection, it didn’t make Jessica feel any less guilty. She knew that she was married to Benjy and she owed it to him to be appreciative of these gestures. But all the while she was wishing he was Jake.
‘I love you, too,’ she said, although she didn’t know if either of them believed she meant it.
‘Why don’t you finish getting ready and then we’ll go.’
‘Ok,’ said Jessica, nodding and finishing her glass of champagne she was practically downing for Dutch courage.
She looked over to the dining-room table at her phone. She needed to phone Jake and cancel, or he was going to be swinging by in a cab to come and pick her up in an hour. She would just have to wait for Benjy to get in the shower before she could sneak a phone call to Jake.
She went back into the bedroom and tried to select a dress for the occasion. It was so strange flicking through clothes and possessions that were apparently hers, but which she had no recollection of buying. She’d seen a little black dress when she’d been looking for the evening dress. She found it and gave it a once over; it would have to do. With a nice bag and some heels it would probably give just the right effect.
‘Are you not showering?’ asked Jessica, with a slight hint of desperation in her voice.
‘No, I went to the gym at work at lunchtime, showered then.’
‘Right.’ Jessica started doing her make-up, hoping that she would come up with a plan to let Jake k
now not to pick her up.
She suddenly felt uncomfortable removing her towel and dressing in front of Benjy. She was worried that he’d try and start something with her, which was far from what she felt like doing.
But luckily Benjy was too busy in his own wardrobe selecting his outfit. Once he was dressed he went back out into the living room, leaving Jessica wishing that she was alone in the bedroom with her phone. Instead it was stuck out on the table with Benjy.
She needed to get to the phone and quick. She speed applied her make-up and gave herself a quick once over in the mirror. It wasn’t a bad job of getting ready, despite being heavily distracted by the phone. The eye shadow was a little messier than she would have normally gone for, but she was too distracted to smooth it out.
‘You look amazing,’ said Benjy, walking back into the bedroom.
She had to admit that he didn’t look so bad himself. He was dressed in dark jeans, and a v-neck jumper with a shirt underneath. He looked like an adult version of himself.
‘You’re looking pretty good yourself.’
‘I know, right? My father would be so proud if he could see me now. Reckon he’d take me to the country club and show me off. I tell you, it’s weird wearing jeans that aren’t skinny. Right then, are we ready to go? I thought we could start with drinks somewhere first before heading for dinner. You know, make a whole night of it.’
Jessica glanced at the clock, it was just six pm. Jake was supposed to pick her up at quarter to seven; if she didn’t let him know soon he’d be leaving to get her.
‘Um, yes,’ said Jessica walking into the living room. ‘I’ll just text Katie and thank her for giving you a poke.’
She picked up her phone and was about to start typing the message when Benjy took the phone away.
