by Caroline Lee
“Yes!” Then she took a deep breath, holding it for a long moment, and released it in a great heaving sigh. “No. I don’t know. I’m twenty-two! That’s too old to be chasing rainbows across Creation. I guess I just want a place where we’ll all be safe.”
He nodded, and took a bite of the cinnamon roll he’d served himself… and completely lost track of the conversation for a moment. He closed his eyes in pleasure, allowing the moist sweetness to dissolve on his tongue. It was better than he’d remembered, and he sighed happily. “Molly, sweetheart, I promise that if you keep baking stuff half this good, Nate and I will appreciate the heck out of it. If you want to open up a bakery,” He opened his eyes, determined to say something to make her happy. “We’ll… I dunno… ride your cakes into town every day and sell them at Bullard’s.”
She laughed aloud at the ridiculous picture, and must have been feeling better, because she helped herself to a piece of bacon and a roll. “That’s sweet, Mr. Barker, but you’re too busy here to accommodate a silly dream.”
He covered her hand in his, and when she looked up at him, he was captivated by those creamy eyes. “How about coming up with a new dream, Miss Murray? A home and maybe some kids?” She blushed, but didn’t look away. “I promise I’ll keep you and your sisters safe.”
He couldn’t be sure, but he thought he was wearing down her resistance, and that she’d say yes soon enough. He turned on what charm he could find for the rest of the day.
After that delicious breakfast—Nate and he practically had a fight over the last cinnamon roll—Molly cleaned up while they rushed through their morning chores. Then she set Nate to cutting boughs off of the scrawnier tree, since he had two good hands, while she helped Ash set up the nicer tree beside the hearth. It took a while before she was finally satisfied that it was up straight. She sent him out for snow to put in the bowl the trunk was sitting in, so the tree wouldn’t dry out too quickly, and when he returned he helped Nate drag in the boughs.
She showed them how to drape the ribbons and garlands around the tree, and they laughed almost continuously at their efforts. Nate grasped the idea quickly, but Ash couldn’t seem to do more than throw the stuff at the tree and hope it stuck; he wasn’t certain if it was his having only one arm to work with, or if he just plain lacked any artistic ability. Either way, he sure enjoyed Molly’s efforts to teach him. He made sure to kiss her as many times as he could get away with, and she didn’t seem like she minded.
When they finally stepped back and surveyed their handiwork, Ash had to admit that they’d done a good job. The tree sure was pretty, with all the red and white bows and cranberry and popcorn garlands. Before she’d let them start weaving the boughs, together, though, she brought out the cookies she’d made that morning. She’d been stirring the batter when he first surprised her—although he’d had other things on his mind beside noticing—and had baked them while the men had been out doing chores. They had cinnamon in them, which made the whole house smell delicious, and chewy raisins that were a nice surprise. She blushed when he told her how good they tasted, especially when he joked how good she tasted.
He thought her special treats—the ones that she’d promised if they’d help her decorate—were over, but not quite. After she’d shown them how to weave the boughs of pine together and tie them to the steep bannister and hang them around the mantel, she left Nate to decorate them with the leftover red ribbon and cranberries, and beckoned Ash over to the kitchen area.
She’d popped a big bowl of corn while they’d been busy, and something sweet and sticky was boiling on the stove. It smelled almost like caramel, but it dried hard, and she showed him how to pour it slowly over the bowl, while she frantically stirred and tossed the corn beneath it. The result, once it’d dried, was sweet popped corn even crunchier than usual, and delicious with some salt. Ash had to laugh at how Nate almost inhaled his first serving.
It started to snow sometime that afternoon, but they both were able to assure Molly that it was a dusting, and wouldn’t affect the train schedule or getting into town in two days. But it sure was pretty, with the cozy fire and the drifting snow. They sat around the hearth, enjoying Molly’s corn creation, and some sort of hot chocolate drink that was almost as good as coffee, and Ash made a mental note to work on some more comfortable chairs this winter. The two had always been enough for them, but with Molly, and soon her two sisters, the kitchen chairs wouldn’t be enough.
Nate challenged her to a game of checkers, and soon she was teaching the kid the finer points of chess, with some made-up pieces. Then they both decided to teach her poker, wagering handfuls of popped corn, and they laughed all through the afternoon. Who would have thought that a few bits of Christmas frippery could make for such a relaxing day?
Ash felt… content. Between Nate and Molly, he felt like he was surrounded by family, and while he’d never guessed that’s what he needed in his life, the thought pleased him inordinately. He felt loved. Nate was the only family he had, and he loved the kid. Molly… Molly would be his family, too, if he had his way. They hadn’t talked about love, but he wondered if that’s what this feeling of contentment when he looked at her really was.
Was he falling in love with the woman?
Chapter 10
The next morning, Molly was up early. She’d hardly slept at all, thinking about Ash’s offer of marriage and what it would mean. He was the first man she’d ever considered marrying. Yes, he was the first one to ask, but more importantly, he was the only man she’d ever met that made her feel so… so content. For years she’d had her dream of opening a little bakery, and supporting her sisters, but now she was wondering if that’s really what she wanted.
Now, she was thinking that maybe, just maybe, running a household in the middle of the Cheyenne nothingness, with her sisters and a good man and his brother might be what she wanted. Maybe this was her new dream? She knew that when she thought about the future, picturing them all crammed in this cozy little house, Ash and she sharing his bedroom, made her feel warm and pleased and… right. And the thought of packing up the girls and heading to Salt Lake City and saying goodbye to Ash and Nate made her nauseated. So obviously, her subconscious wanted her to stay, and to make a life here.
But she’d always promised herself that she wouldn’t settle. She wouldn’t marry a man who didn’t love her just because it was the “right” thing to do at her time of life. She couldn’t imagine the pain it’d cause to know that her husband didn’t love her back.
Because, Lord help her, she was falling in love with Mr. Ash Barker.
It was understandable. She’d been living with the man in close quarters for two weeks now. She’d seen firsthand how kind, and gentle, and strong and masculine he could be. She’d witnessed his caring when he was teaching his brother, and his easy strength around the ranch. She was falling in love with those firm muscles and soft gray eyes and quick smiles. She admired the way he’d worked hard to make his ranch a success, and hadn’t let an injury stop him. She even liked his desire for solitude, and found the ranch’s setting as lovely as he did.
She liked everything about him, even his occasional grumpiness and the rarity of his laughter.
And he liked her, she knew. He liked her cooking, and having her around to help in the house, and she suspected he even liked having another person to talk to, besides Nate. She knew Ash was forthright and honest, and wouldn’t have asked her to marry him if he didn’t think that they could be happy living together. But “liking her cooking” and “being happy living together” wasn’t exactly “in love.”
How could she marry him, knowing that she was falling in love with him, and he merely appreciated her presence around his house?
Around this point in the internal argument, Molly had thrown off the covers, turned up the lamp, and started to re-arrange the loft area for her sisters’ arrival. She’d tried to be a quiet as possible, and eventually wore herself out enough to sleep, but she hadn’t come to any decisions.<
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She must have looked exhausted when she finally came downstairs to start a batch of flapjacks, because Ash asked if she was okay as soon as he stepped out of his bedroom.
His jeans were slung low on his hips, and his flannel shirt was a green that highlighted his eyes. He hadn’t buttoned it up again, and she started towards him to help. He intercepted her, though, and gave her another one of those gentle, spine-tingling kisses that affected her almost as much as passionate ones.
Dear Lord, how could she leave him? How could she go to Salt Lake, never knowing if his touch was as nice as his kisses? She’d never, ever be able to think about another man, knowing the way Ash made her feel. She sighed. She was beginning to suspect she was going to have to marry the man, just to assuage her curiosity.
His soft “Marry me, Molly” made her heart flip, and then melt, and she closed her eyes on a groan. She was acting like some kind of love-sick puppy! She was love-sick!
She made it through breakfast, somehow, listening to their conversation with half an ear, and thinking about what it’d be like to spend every morning like this. Afterwards, Ash asked to borrow her scissors from her sewing kit, promising to return them cleaned and sharpened. When they left for the barn, she busied herself cleaning up the house and admiring their Christmas decorations. She’d see her sisters the day after tomorrow, and wanted their first real Christmas in years to be special.
But no matter how busy she tried to keep herself, she couldn’t stop her mind from mulling over the possibilities ahead. Should she marry Ash and stay here as his wife? It would give her sisters a safe, happy home. Would it really matter if Ash didn’t love her back? He was willing to give her everything she and the girls needed to be happy, and it would be nice to have a place to belong.
She took out her sewing, pleased that she’d cut out all of her major pieces two days ago. Knowing that the girls at least had outer wear to get them back to the ranch, she’d been working on putting together little Christmas presents for everyone. For both girls, she made thick mittens out of the soft gray fabric that reminded her so much of Ash’s eyes, lined with the blue wool. They were simple little things, but she would embroider pretty blue flowers around the wrists—when had she last had time to practice embroidery?—so that they’d match Annie’s coat and Wendy’s shawl. For Ash and Nate, who had thick leather gloves for working with the horses, she was making scarves from the blue wool, with swirls and their names picked out in gray thread. Again, they weren’t much, but it was nice to know that each of them would have something special for Christmas.
Holding one of the soft mittens between her fingers, hunched over the comfortable chair in front of the fire, Molly was struck by how similar the color seemed to Ash’s eyes. He really did have the most remarkable eyes; soft and gentle. She remembered how big and scary he’d seemed to her when they first met—had it only been two weeks ago?—but how the kindness in his eyes had surprised her. She might have wondered if he only seemed gentle because he had limited use of an arm, but she knew, knew with a certainty that surprised her, that he would be just as mellow, just as slow to rile, when the doctor removed his cast.
He’d been nothing but kind to her, and would be kind to her sisters, she knew. He would treat them all well, and make sure they were happy and productive. She took a deep breath, blinking back tears.
She would marry him. It was best for her sisters.
It was best for her.
The decision lifted a load off of her shoulders, and she felt lighter, somehow. Smiling slightly, she tucked her feet up under her skirts, and tried to focus on her embroidery as she wondered what it’d be like to become Mrs. Ash Barker. She was still daydreaming when her lack of sleep the night before caught up to her, and she dropped off.
Molly was curled up on one of the chairs when Ash and Nate returned from their work. These days, the horses that were left required less effort, but they made sure to exercise each one individually. They spent a lot of time discussing plans for Nate’s new breeding program, but not today. Using Molly’s shears and a piece of an old mirror Nate held, Ash had trimmed his beard off close to the skin.
He shaved weekly during the summer, when anything longer than a few days’ growth was hot and itchy, but let it grow into the bush it’d been during the winter, to keep his face warm. But his face would survive, and he was looking forward to Molly’s reaction when she saw it. But he was a little nervous; would she think him handsome? Did it really matter if she found him attractive? He knew from the way she kissed him back that she was at least interested in him physically. But he wanted her to be pleased with him as a choice of a husband.
His big reveal would have to wait, though, because she looked so adorable when she was sleeping. He supposed she was making up her rest from the night before. He’d woken several times to hear her pacing or moving furniture up in the loft, although he could tell that she was trying to be quiet. He badly wanted to go to her, to take her in his arms and demand to help her with whatever was wrong. But he guessed it had to do with his proposal, and figured the best thing would be to just let her argue it out with herself, and hopefully come to the right decision.
He and Nate stomped around a bit, making sure the snow landed on the rug by the front door, and shaking off their coats and hats, but Molly still didn’t wake up. His brother went to investigate the pantry cabinet for any of the leftover cookies—no surprise there—and Ash crossed to Molly.
Leaning over her, he decided to surprise her with a kiss. It worked. He felt her come awake under his lips, and slowly respond. But then her eyes flew open, as if she’d only just realized what she was doing, and she started frantically scooping up her sewing, something blue and gray, and shoving it back into her bag.
Then suddenly, she stopped, and slowly turned to look at him, registering the change. She stood up, and gently touched his cheek. He liked the way it felt—he liked the way she made him feel—but he was watching her face closely. She hadn’t smiled, and those coffee-brown eyes were curious.
He couldn’t stand it any longer. “Do you like it?” He knew he looked different. Hell, for most of the winter, anyone who looked at him would only see his eyes between his thick beard and scraggly hair. But she was finally getting to see his face, and he wondered what she thought.
Her touch was light when it skimmed over his chin, stopping briefly on the deep cleft his beard had hidden. He was leaning towards her, so he had no trouble hearing the slight whisper. “You are even more handsome than I suspected.”
He grinned, and captured her hand with his good one, bringing her fingers to his lips. He placed a small kiss on each fingertip, and loved the way she shuddered and closed her eyes.
“Yes.” He didn’t understand, until her eyes flew open again and she pierced him with a direct gaze. “My answer is yes. I’ll marry you, Mr. Barker.”
His smile was spontaneous, and huge, and didn’t come nearly close enough to containing all the joy he felt at that moment. He dropped her hand and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer. He lowered his lips to hers, and she met him halfway, and he kissed her like he’d kissed her when he first proposed.
She was clinging to him unsteadily when he finally released her, and he realized that even he was having some trouble maintaining control. He heard chuckling, and was a little chagrined that he’d forgotten Nate’s presence. Somehow, Molly made him forget things, and only think about wanting to kiss her. And now, after what seemed like forever, he had her agreement to marry him; he could spend the rest of his days thinking about kissing her.
No. He grinned again. He could spend the rest of his days actually kissing her.
They turned to Nate. The kid was sitting on the table, his legs swinging, munching on what—judging from the crumbs—was not his first cookie. He was grinning, and said around the food in his mouth, “Looks like you should have trimmed the beard earlier, big brother. Molly was obviously just afraid of that bush.”
Ash just smiled. His
beard was a constant butt of Nate’s jokes, mainly because the kid couldn’t grow one. He looked so much like his Indian grandmother that Ash suspected he probably never would, but he never mentioned that to the kid.
Molly actually blushed over Nate’s teasing, but lifted her chin. “Actually, I’d decided before I fell asleep. Sorry about that, by the way.” He kissed her forehead, just because he could, and to tell her he didn’t mind. “I know that Ash will treat us well, and I want my sisters to have a good home.”
“I’ll make sure you’ve all got a good home, Molly. Although Nate’s going to have to help me put on another room before we start having kids.”
Her eyes grew wide, and he wondered if she’d honestly never thought about having babies. But then a small smile crept across her face, and he figured they’d work it out when the time came.
Nate was looking uncomfortable. He stared down at the half-eaten cookie in his hand. “What’s up, brother?”
The kid didn’t look up, but shrugged. “You could put a baby in my room. Or maybe the girls there and the baby in the loft.”
“Oh, you want the addition for yourself?”
He shrugged again, and looked towards the window. In profile, Ash could see so much of the Indian blood that made the kid a second-class citizen. The sharp nose and the strong jaw that hardened with stubbornness, not to mention the hair that brushed against his shoulders.
Ash got a bad feeling. “Nate? What are you thinking?”
His brother licked his lips. “Well, now that you’ve got a wife, and maybe a family, I figure I might go see about hiring on with one of those big outfits east of the city. See if they needed another hand.”
Ash’s heart sunk. Leave it to the kid to get it all backwards. “You figure there’s not a place for you here anymore?” Nate didn’t say anything. “How about your breeding program?”
