by Mina Carter
Dragon Men Do it Better
J Thompson & Mina Carter
Copyright © 2019 by J Thompson & Mina Carter
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Epilogue
About the Author - Mina Carter
About the Author - J Thompson
1
One black hole later…
* * *
Jenna blinked for the hundredth time as she looked at her console and then back up to the viewer in front. The millions of stars twinkling in the darkness of space on the other side of the view screen were nothing new. Hell, she’d seen plenty in her years of being a badass bounty hunter. She had been to many planets and seen multitudes of strange shit.
But these stars were new. So new, in fact, her computer had no clue where she was either.
“Location unknown…” the uptight voice of Shiva, the AI aboard her ship, rang out.
“Ahhh shit.” Jenna bit her lip and cracked her index finger—a nervous habit—as she looked down at the now-deceased arborian rat that had caused her current predicament.
“Calling all channels. This is the Penelope. Can anyone read me?” Jenna called over the com.
Silence was her only answer.
Lost in space…great.
Her day hadn’t started out badly. In fact she was on her way to getting her biggest payday yet. All she’d needed was to collect the bounty—who had been helpfully sitting in his dead spaceship, waiting for her to rescue his stranded ass—and hand him over to his very, very pissed father. Once done, she could collect a whopping paycheck that would have her swimming in credits and dancing around her own ship in nothing but a thong.
But noooo…that hadn’t happened.
Instead, an arborian rat the size of a pit bull with anger management issues had dive-bombed her console from its nesting place in the storage lockers above. Her squeal had set it on a mad dash across the command consoles and its freaky eight-toed clawed feet had set the thrusters on full burn before she had managed to kill them. That would have been okay if it hadn’t have happened at the exact moment a random class-what-the-fuck black hole had decided to pop up in front of her and suck her to god knows where.
Black holes were not fun nor were they entertaining—especially the weird ones. Hoppers they were called, cropped up all over the place without warning. She preferred her classification and preferred to stay well away from them. So much so, she’d paid to have the Penelope’s sensor grid upgraded massively.
Had it worked? Had it fuck. They’d hit that bitch at max speed and spun off into the freaking unknown. Now she felt like her insides had been scrambled and her head was full of cotton wool.
When they had finally exited the hole, her stomach was in full-on revolt and she’d fought the need to exercise her upchuck reflex. She definitely didn’t need to cross explosive vomit off her day’s to-do list.
So instead of a good day, she now had no bounty, no credits and no clue where the hell she was.
“Location unknown,” Shiva repeated, its voice grating on Jenna’s nerves. She clenched her teeth. Hard. Her jaw ached as she fought the need to shout obscenities and argue with it, but arguing with a computer would do her little good. Instead she tapped the console, looking for anything nearby that she could head to—a planet, a space station, hell a rock with atmosphere would do.
* * *
Releasing a sigh and blowing her bangs out of her face, she kicked the rat. Its dead bulk wobbled but didn’t move an inch.
Fucking great. She’d have to clean up its furry corpse before it began to stink up the place.
“Planet detected,” Shiva’s voice chimed, and Jenna flicked a glance up to the screen. A small blue-green planet came into view. At first glimpse it reminded her of home. Earth was but a distant memory and one she did not want to dwell on, but she couldn’t deny humans automatically felt longing for planets of blue and green.
This one sat wedged between two large moons, their pale surfaces reflecting back the light of the sun she could make out in the distance.
“Plot a course for the planet, Shiva. Check for ships or satellites in orbit and then for a breathable atmosphere.” It wouldn’t matter too much if there wasn’t one. She had suits aboard and the Penelope’s scrubbers were old but well maintained. But being able to move about without the suits would be a luxury that might make this whole fuckup that little bit better.
“Oh!” she added quickly. “Check the surface for life signs as well.”
“Yes, Captain,” Shiva answered.
Jenna felt the small ship move as the thrusters once again engaged, turning the ship in the direction of the planet. She really hoped it was habitable. That upped the chances of finding a race she could communicate with as well as possibly learning her current location, and, more importantly, how she could leave it.
As she watched the planet grow bigger, a shiver ran down her spine and a sense of foreboding filled her. What was down there? Whatever it was… the feeling that her life was about to take a turn for the unexpected wouldn’t leave her.
Whether it would be better or worse, though, she didn’t know. But when stranded in the ass end of beyond with stars you didn’t recognize, the only way was up. Right?
There was a ship on his planet.
“No, just fucking no. Not happeninggggg…” Ranaar hissed, dragging the last sound of the sentence out unintentionally. Normally he had better control, able to hide the auditory evidence of his oft-hated race, but since he’d been here in the wilds of space, he hadn’t bothered. No one else was on the planet, so there was no point. And that was the way he liked it.
Well, he had been the only one on the planet… until now.
His eyes narrowed as he watched the exhaust trail streak across the sky above. It was a smaller craft, the design one he wasn’t familiar with. And by the looks of the descent path, the pilot wasn’t accustomed to space-to-surface landings. Which was idiotic. Why try and make such a landing in a craft obviously not designed for it if you weren’t sure what the claw you were doing?
For a moment pride filled him. He’d been a clutch ship commander… there hadn’t been any surface he couldn’t drop a troop ship onto. His skill had been known far and wide, even beyond Draakon territory, and had earned him the favor of the queen.
He shuddered at the memory of Kaanarsia the Terrible. Queen of all, she’d been as ancient as she had been cruel, and it had taken every ounce of wit he had to keep himself out of her nest. He’d seen what males looked like after being bedded by the queen, empty-eyed and traumatized. Those weren’t too bad. However, the screamers did it for him. The horrors reflected in their eyes had made his scales crawl under his skin. No way he’d wanted to end up like that.
But she was dead and he was here now, exiled by his race because the old she-lizard had shown him favor. He was fucked whichever way he looked at it. Because of his “relationship” with Kaanarsia, the new hive queen had doubted his loyalty and stranded him on this fucking rock.
Well… that was the nice way of putting it. She’d sent clutch fighters after his flyer and they’d shot him down over the surface. He’d managed to land, but the damage t
o his ship meant she wouldn’t fly again. That was something the flyers had made certain of, putting a few energy bolts through his hull before they’d flown off, leaving him to swear at the green of their afterburners as they hit the upper atmosphere.
He’d been here ever since, living off the land and his wits while trying to find enough to eat without becoming a meal for something bigger.
Spreading his feet wider, he hooked a hand around the rock outcrop he’d been climbing and leaned back to keep the craft in view. His concern grew. If they kept to that descent vector, they would land just at the foot of the mountain range that bisected this continent… right in the middle of a Terranisis Grove. Which meant, unless they were as hard to kill as the Dracheni, the carnivorous plants would tear them apart.
He didn’t blink for a few minutes, remaining still on his rock like the lizards his ancestors had evolved from. His concern grew. They hadn’t changed course and now were too low. They were definitely going to land in that damn grove.
With a sigh, he pushed off from the rock face, making the descent to the valley floor in four leaps. Once his bare feet hit the hot sand, he began to run. This was his planet, so technically that meant whatever salvage was left after the plants had worked over the crew was his. If he was lucky, he might be able to scavenge enough parts to put his own, wrecked flyer back in the air and finally escape this scale-forsaken rock.
2
Shit…shit…shit.
Jenna chanted in her head as the Penelope shot through the upper atmosphere. The planet’s gravitational pull had been stronger than she had expected, and the battered ship could do little but go with it. She’d be lucky to reach the surface in one piece. She’d probably end up a strange form of people jam… a bloody smear along one of the bulkheads the only evidence of her existence and demise.
The ship groaned, metal creaking, and she squeaked, flinching as a conduit above her head exploded in a shower of sparks. Automated alerts sounded in the background, so many of them that they all merged into one.
Jenna gripped her chair. Her fingernails dug into the aged leather as she watched through the view screen in horrified fascination as the green of the planet’s surface continued to get closer. And bigger. Much bigger. Finally, it filled the entire screen and she screwed her eyes up tightly, only for them to spring open a moment later.
“Impact in 60 seconds…”
“59…”
“58…”
“Oh, please shut the hell up,” Jenna grated out through clenched teeth. She didn’t need the AI counting down to her undoubted death. She could see it approaching without the audio commentary. At the speed she was going there wouldn’t be much left of her precious ship or her, and even if she was lucky enough to survive the impact, she had no provisions for a long stay on the surface.
That would teach her to sail so close to the wind. She had been relying so much on the last bounty that she hadn’t been to a trade station in a long time. Hell she hadn’t even had a full meal in a while. Those pathetic ration packs that were apparently used for missions or some shit were about as much use as a fart in a spaceship for someone with Jenna’s “healthy” appetite.
“35…”
“34…”
“33…”
Shiva continued to count and Jenna had never wanted to throttle an AI so much in all her life. She closed her eyes, fighting the hot prickle of tears. She hated this. Hated being so helpless. With nothing to do, her mind replayed every decision she had made and how she could have chosen differently. She had so much she had wanted to do with her life. She hadn’t chosen to be a bounty hunter, but she’d embraced it.
She had missed out on lots of things—kids, family, marriage. Jenna shook her head. Nope wouldn’t go there. Definitely not going there. Sappy thoughts led to feelings and feelings led to her crying in a corner and then seeking out anything that had chocolate in it. Lots of chocolate. That in turn led to her feeling guilty and actually volunteering to do any sort of cardio.
And she hated cardio with the passion of a thousand fiery suns.
Not going there… ever.
Opening her eyes, she watched as plant life on the planet came into view. If she hadn’t been hurtling to her death she would have thought them beautiful yet… Fuck me, were those teeth?
“10…”
“9…”
“8…”
“Oooooh fuuuuccck.”
She screamed as the ship plowed through red and green foliage. Metal groaned and every warning light on the console lit up, even several she’d never known existed.
Crapcrapcrap.
She had never believed it when people said their lives flashed across their eyes in the moment before their death. It did. She watched as every bad mistake she had made in her life decided that was an opportune moment to flash across her eyelids.
She squeezed her eyes shut and accepted the painful memories, a tear leaking from the corner of her eye. Metal squealed as the ship slammed to a halt. The crash threw her chair back, and her head whipped from side to side, pain forcing a cry from her lips.
The vibrating stopped but only because her restraint straps gave. She flew from the seat seconds before the ship impacted something big, a trunk filling the view screen in front of her. She had a mere second to reflect on how big the bridge actually was before she hit the rear bulkhead and slid to the deck plating in a heap.
The ship skidded across the planet’s surface, hitting every bump on the way. She felt like a ragdoll. Holding her breath, she waited for the ship to stop or hit something else. But it slowed until it shuddered to a stop. The beeping of the ship’s inner workings continued and the metal groaned even as she lay still. A hiss joined in as now-exposed wires shot electrical sparks across the floor.
The Penelope was hurt…so was Jenna. In fact, everything hurt.
“MOTHER TRUCKER,” Jenna gasped as she moved to sit up. Her back felt like she had taken multiple hits and she could guarantee she was bruised everywhere. Leaning back against the bulkhead, she surveyed the damage and winced. Her chair at the console was now twisted and on its side, exposed walls and wires meeting her gaze, but that damn rat hadn’t bloody moved.
“Ugh. Typical.”
Its fat, furry corpse was still where she’d left it. The only difference now was it could be considered well done. The exposed wires had fried it and now steam rose from its carcass, filling the bridge with a rancid smell. She clapped a hand over her mouth and tried to breathe through her ears.
Struggling to her feet Jenna walked toward the view screen. She needed to see how bad the damage was on the outside although she dreaded seeing her beloved ship grounded.
As she approached the view screen, the planet’s foliage came into view. On the descent she had glimpsed the beauty, but now she was stunned at the vibrancy of the colors. Reds and greens gave way to purples and blues. Her fingers itched to touch, and she felt them press the screen. Only an inch of glass separated her fingers from the soft-looking leaves.
Her eyes widened as she watched them move, swaying gently. Stunning, Jenna thought as she became mesmerized. The leaves gave way to a large bulb that opened slowly.
“Oh wow. That’s amazing.”
Jenna’s lips twitched but then turned into a frown as the ship’s warning lights flickered on briefly along with more hissing before everything went dark. Then Shiva’s voice cut through the silence. Unlike its usually prissy self, it was slow, proving the ship was extremely low on power.
“Cabin depressurizing… Cabin depressurizing”
“Warning…”
“Warrrrnnnning…”
Loss of power complete, Jenna bolted for the back of the bridge. Pulling at a panel she let it drop to the floor. Its heavy mass hit the deck hard. Her hands shook from both shock and the fear of dying. Since her AI had failed, she had no idea if the air on this god forsaken place was actually breathable. Pulling the suit free, she was in it faster than a set of knickers hitting the deck in a
porno. And not those modern space ones either. She was talking old skool cheese. As soon as the helmet had locked into place and the hiss of air sounded, signaling the seal, she released a breath.
Yes, she still hurt like a bitch, and yes her ship looked properly fucked. But she was alive and if anything, that was a silver lining in a cloud of grey. Now all she had to do was get outside, check the damage and see just how fucked she actually was.
Minor systems still worked so she didn’t have to use brute force to open the hatch. As it slid open, she walked out into what some would consider a copse or a grove. Checking her wrist comp, she breathed a sigh of relief. The air was good out here. Quickly, she yanked her helmet off to get a good look around her.
Unlike trees of Earth, these had blue trunks, but they didn’t shoot straight up. Instead they twisted around each other. Their flowers were stunning, and as she walked alongside the hull of her ship, she could see they were nearly as big as her.
Turning her attention to the hull, she walked around the entire ship, checking the damage until something nudged her back. She froze but it didn’t happen again. Shrugging her shoulders, she walked further, bending beneath the wing. Smoke billowed from one of the panels, making Jenna wince.
It nudged again.
She closed her eyes and counted to ten. Part of her was annoyed that something on this damn planet seemed to have a fascination with her ass…but a large part of her was petrified to turn around. She hated surprises.
The nudge came again, followed by a caress of her left ass cheek.
“Would you bloody well…” Jenna started to shout as she stood back up and turned around. Her words stopped and she instinctively backed up, arms spread against the hull of her ship. It was one of those beautiful pods, only now it had opened, revealing a set of teeth a T-rex would be jealous of. The white teeth gleamed in the light and a bright pink tongue wiggled from its gaping jaw.
