That’s all it took for Mina to curl her fingers into a fist and throw her arm at me. I moved just in time; she missed my face completely. As I dodged her punch, I ducked and tackled her to the ground. We had an audience now, everyone around us having stopped dancing, their stares on us. No one intervened.
I landed two fists in her face before the wily bitch managed to roll me under her, having a strength that surprised me. She hit me in the stomach, knocking the wind out of me before grabbing a fistful of my hair and holding my head still as she wailed on me. The girl had a pretty decent punch; I had to hand it to her.
I started laughing, because I was me, because I wasn’t afraid of this girl or what she could do to me. I laughed, and that only irritated her more.
It didn’t matter much, though, for Viper appeared, having pushed his way through the crowd. He wrapped his arms around Mina and hauled her off me, which let me hop to my feet, surprisingly well-balanced in the heels I wore.
As Viper handed Mina off to Mike to help cool her down, he tossed an annoyed look at Maddox, who simply shrugged, as if he’d been having the time of his life watching two girls fight over him.
I swiped at my mouth, my stomach hurting a bit from her earlier blow. It’d probably bruise, and my face? Well, I guess I’d have to wait and see whether I’d need to apply a shit ton of makeup to hide bruises during the Gilded Rose’s opening night. Of course, that was assuming I was still singing there. Hadn’t heard anything, but with Carl dying, things might change.
But back to the matter at hand. Or, rather, back to the bitch who was currently—and pointlessly—struggling against Mike’s hold.
We got off the dance floor, and no one dared near us. Maddox stood near me, which made me shoot a smile at Mina. Mike was slow in letting her go, and she adjusted her dress, glaring at me all the while.
“Great,” Viper muttered. “Now, can we go?”
“Sure,” I said. Everyone turned to leave, even me—but after a few steps away from the glaring Mina, I stopped, turned back around, and met her blue eyes. They were more like shadows in the darkness of the club than anything else.
I gave her a smile, walking up to her slowly, not acting threatening in the least. The guys behind me had stopped; Viper was calling out my name, but this was something I had to do, you see. To let this carry on would be stupid. Best put an end to this right here, right now.
I said nothing, and I stopped only when I stood right in front of her, close enough to do what I was about to. If Mina wanted to test me, she’d get my horns… or my knife. Right now, fortunately for her, I didn’t have any knives on me, so this little message would have to do.
Without warning, without so much as a blink, I brought my head back and whipped it forward as hard and as fast as I could, slamming my skull against hers so forcefully I momentarily saw tons of black dots in my field of vision. A headbutt of epic proportions, a head-slam so rough and so sudden it caused her to stumble back and fall to the ground.
Me? I was fine. After I blinked a couple times, I was perfectly fine. Sure, my brain hurt a little bit, but pain was nothing.
“Stay away from him,” I said, speaking in a low voice, almost a monotone. “Or else you’ll see what I’m really capable of, bitch.” A warm trickle of blood oozed down my forehead; I must’ve broken the skin when I headbutted her. I let the blood course its way down, feeling it tickle as it reached the bridge of my nose. I bet I looked crazy.
Good. Sometimes you had to be crazy to get shit done.
Saying nothing else, I spun on my heels and returned to the guys. Mike almost looked impressed, while Maddox’s stare held gallons of lust that I could feel pouring out of him. Watching that, I’d bet anything, had turned him the fuck on. Honestly, it got me all worked up in the right ways, too.
And Viper? Well, Viper looked like he just wanted to get the hell out of this club right now. That was something we could do.
The night air was cool, a shock compared to the heated warmth of the club. All those bodies mashing together with the beat of the music, getting myself all worked up because of that dumbass Mina—I almost shivered as we stepped outside. Almost.
“We’ll follow you home,” Maddox spoke, reaching for me. If I had to guess, I’d say we’d take a side street or two and fuck in the car.
But Viper was able to reach for me first, pulling me towards him and immediately earning himself a thunderous, possessive growl from Maddox’s chest. “I don’t think so,” he said, not backing down from the Luciano. “Mike will go with you. Lola’s coming with me. I don’t trust you not to take a detour with her. Your brother wants you home before your father realizes you’re gone, so that’s what we’re going to do.”
Maddox might usually have the upper hand when it came to Viper and Mike and telling them what to do, but in this case, he had to have known Viper was right, for he let out a harsh sigh. “Fine.” He glanced to Mike. “Come on, big guy.” Though he didn’t want to take him, though he wanted me, Maddox got in the car with Viper’s brother.
Which left me and Viper.
Viper led me to his car, not once letting me go, as if he couldn’t trust me or something. The only reason he finally released me was because he couldn’t hold onto me and get in the driver’s seat at the same time. It was kind of sexy to see Viper take charge and tell Maddox what to do, frankly. It made for a nice switch.
After Viper started the car, he leaned over me, opening the glovebox and reaching for something inside. A… a few extra napkins from McDonald’s? Not what I was expecting to be stashed in there, but okay.
He handed them to me, saying, “Clean yourself up.”
“What?” I pouted, lowering the vizor and seeing myself in the mirror there. Dark maroon stained an inch of my hairline around my forehead, a nice trail of it down my white skin, all down my nose, now gathering around my mouth. “You don’t like me in red, Viper?”
Huh. That headbutt must’ve been harder than I thought it was, to break skin like that. I mean, it did knock that bitch to the floor, so it had to be pretty fucking hard. Still, Viper was probably right. Walking into the Luciano house with blood on me would only worry Sylvester, and he was probably mad enough with me and Maddox slipping out.
“I don’t care what you wear,” he said. “But Sylvester will flip if he knows I stood back and let you get into it with Mina.” He put the car in drive and pulled onto the road as I dabbed off the blood and did my best to clean myself. “What were you thinking, Lola?”
I shot him a look. “I was thinking, that bitch is grinding on my dick. And then, that bitch is making out with my dick.” As I spoke, I saw a muscle in Viper’s jaw tighten, but the man said nothing in response.
Not sure how to take that.
Shrugging, I said, “I had to teach her a lesson. She was asking for it.” Bundling up the used tissues, I stuffed them in the cup holders between us, not knowing where else to put them. There was still a bit of blood in my hairline, but a shower was needed to get to it. The wound wasn’t deep; it was already done bleeding. “I know I’m not going to be around forever, but I’m here now, and I’m not going to sit back and do nothing while another bitch tries to take what’s mine.”
Viper was silent for a while, for a long while. I wondered if I’d said too much, if I’d hurt him by calling Maddox’s dick mine. Hey, it was the truth. It was what I felt, okay? Sure, I might be feeling a range of strange things for these guys, but in that club, it was like I had a one-track mind.
I was starting to wonder if he was going to be silent like his brother during the drive, but finally he spoke, “You have it backward, you know.”
Now, it was my turn to say nothing.
“Maddox, Sylvester… they don’t belong to you. You belong to them, to Richie.”
His words were true. I couldn’t deny them, not even a little, but that said, nor could I deny the way I felt about the guys. As much as I hated it, as much as I felt so confused by the new feelings inside me, I couldn’t change
them. I couldn’t change the fact that I felt like Maddox was mine, Sylvester was mine… hell, even Viper. They were all mine. My psychos. My crazies. My killers.
Mine, mine, mine.
For once, I wanted to claim something. For the first time in my entire life, I wanted things which I knew I had no right to: devotion, trust… even love. Idiotic, considering I was only here to repay the debt of killing Dickless and would die once I was no longer needed or useful.
So stupid. So fucking stupid. Love… it wasn’t for me. I’d learned that years ago, so could someone please tell me why I felt these things?
“And what about you?” I found myself asking, staring down at my lap, at my hands. Though they were my hands, they didn’t look right. They’d killed. They’d done things that would haunt normal people. They’d done so much, and yet not enough. No matter what happened, regardless of what I did, it would never be enough.
Viper was quiet for a moment. “What about me?”
“If I would’ve caught you dancing with someone else, if I would’ve seen a girl’s lips on yours,” I paused, letting the words sink in, “I would’ve reacted the same way.” I was basically confessing to him that I had feelings for him, too.
Viper’s hands tightened on the wheel, so much so that his knuckles were white. I wondered if he was fighting himself, if he wanted to take those hands and bring them to me, if he wanted to touch me again—only this time, run those hands up and down my body as they had in the past, in the dark, when no one else was looking. Not Sylvester, not Maddox, not Mike. Just us.
He could be rough. He could be just as wild and vicious as the rest of them, but I think, deep down, he had the softest side of them all.
“You shouldn’t lump me in with Maddox and Sylvester,” Viper muttered. “They are Lucianos. I’m not.”
“So?”
“So,” he bit out, “if anything were to happen between us, we’d have to get their approval.” He shot a look at me, his hazel eyes saying more than his words ever could. “Do you think they’d be happy to hand you over to me? Do you think we’d take turns with you every weekend? That’s not how any of this works.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t know how the fuck any of this works!” I might’ve raised my voice more than I meant to. “You think I’m used to having feelings like these, Viper? Do you think I like having you three taking up my thoughts all the fucking time?” I breathed hard, the anger in me evident. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted someone to catch me, to get the fucking electric chair? I dreamed of it. For years, that’s what I wanted.”
To die in a spectacle. To have my death go down in history, for no one to forget my name. The Night Slayer. For men to wonder, even if it was only for a split-second, if a similar killer waited for them around the corner at the clubs and bars. Oh, God, it’s what I’d wanted for so long.
“And then I killed the little Luciano,” I went on, sounding hysterical—and that’s because I was. I was beyond keeping my emotions bottled up and under control. Let them take the wheel, like that song said about Jesus. “And now… now I’m surrounded by men that make me feel alive for the first time in my life. Now I want things I never wanted before. It’s all so much.” I brought my hands to my hair, running my fingers through its blonde length, tugging hard, as if creating more pain would snap me out of this.
“Lola…” All Viper could say was my name, but it was too late. I was too far gone.
Hell, if I wouldn’t have had a seatbelt on, I think I’d be rocking back and forth, the stereotypical crazy person position. Yep. That’s me. Night Slayer. Lola Harding. Completely and utterly batshit crazy.
“Now, I don’t want to die,” I muttered, frowning to myself, digging my hands in my face. It was the first time I’d ever admitted it to someone else out loud, and the shame I felt right then and there could not be described. I made such a big show about having no fear, having lost my mind back when I lost my innocence, and yet look at me now.
How pathetic.
Viper said nothing, and maybe that was for the best. Nothing he could say or do would make me feel better. I was destined for misery, I guess. I would never know happiness, even though a part of me now craved it. Stupid. Fucking stupid. I wish I could bang my head against a wall and revert back to my old self. It was so much easier being that girl and not the confused one I was now.
The drive felt both too long and not long enough. Getting back to that house… I didn’t want to see Sylvester or Maddox right now. Hell, I didn’t want to be in the same room as Viper, and after my stunt with the mad brother, I’d bet Viper and Mike would be back on guard duty instead of searching for Tony.
By the time we arrived at the Luciano house, I was no longer pulling at my hair like I could cut into my skull, pop out my brain, and switch it with a new one, so that was good. What was not good, though, was the fact that Sylvester was still up and waiting for us, his arms crossed as he stood in the front vestibule, watching us come in.
The lights were off, so maybe he wouldn’t see the blood in my hair.
He would still see all he needed, and that was me coming in with Viper and Maddox coming in with Mike just ahead of us. At least the drive gave Maddox’s cock some time to calm down. The same could be said of my mood swings, I guess.
“What in the world were you thinking?” Sylvester spoke, mostly speaking to his brother—though he did toss a glance at me. “Now is not the time to go off and do whatever you want.”
“It never is,” Maddox grumbled, mimicking Sylvester’s stance as he took his brother head-on. “Unlike you, I don’t want to be stuck in this house for the rest of my life. I like getting out there, I like seeing the city. I refuse to be kept in this house like a dog just because our father is worried about the DeLucas—”
“He’s worried that a war will start,” Sylvester cut in.
“He’s always worried about a war. How is that different from any other point in our lives? Remember the year he wanted us to be homeschooled?” Maddox chuckled, though it was a bitter sound. “Yeah, our father has always been worried. He’s let it interfere with his life, and I won’t be like him. You can, but I won’t.” It looked as if he wanted to say more, but he bit his tongue and stormed off.
Sylvester watched his brother go, letting out a heavy sigh as he turned to me. His blonde hair was a bit greasy, as if he hadn’t washed it yet today. He wore the same suit he’d been wearing earlier; he definitely took after his father in that respect. The look he gave me was not one that caused my stomach to harden or my thighs to clench. It just made my heart hurt, for whatever reason.
My heart. I know. As if the muscle was still capable of feeling. Apparently, to my surprise, it was. It was a remarkably tough organ.
“And you,” Sylvester spoke, his voice low as he stepped toward me. “Lola, you should’ve known better, too. You’ve been lucky so far with everything you’ve done, but eventually your luck will run out, and my father will not take kindly to you helping Maddox act out.”
Mike and Viper hung back, quiet as mice. Under his intense stare and disappointment, I nearly forgot we weren’t alone.
I stood there, staring at Sylvester, wondering why his words caused such a heaviness in my chest. I didn’t want his disappointment. Fuck. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I just thought it’d be fun to get out for a bit. You can go mad staying in a house like this. Even my parents didn’t keep me locked up.”
Sylvester’s next words hit me like knives: “I’m not your parents. I’m not your family.”
Maybe it was because of what I’d confessed to Viper in the car earlier, but Sylvester’s words hurt me more than I thought they would. They hurt a lot. His words made me remember that nothing I felt mattered. I didn’t matter.
Right.
I managed a smile, acting like it was fine. Like everything was fine. “Well, is it all right if I go take a shower and hop into bed, then? Since I have to ask you permission for everything, you know, because I’m a temporary prisoner her
e until you kill me.” The truth. It was a truth I’d known all along but forgot about along the way.
The mask, the hot sex, the prolonged looks and occasional sweet words… it all meant nothing. It meant absolutely nothing at all, and I was fine with it.
Or I would be.
Or I’d die, never being fine with it. Guess we’d have to wait and see which one.
Sylvester looked as if he wanted to say something, but he held back, simply giving me a nod and stepping out of my way. I walked past him, holding my head high, pretending everything was alright with the world. It would be, just not with me. Nothing would ever be okay for me, and that was my eternal torture.
I went to my room first, to grab some pajamas before heading to the bathroom across the hall. I found Viper there, waiting for me. It seemed I was right and he was once again my guard. Yippee. I could not be more excited to return to the way things were.
I said nothing, closing the bathroom door behind me and starting to shed my clothes, piece by piece. Viper watched, but I paid him no attention.
The shower was not as calming as I hoped it would be. I turned the heat all the way up, letting the water scald and steam, but it wasn’t enough. I stood there, after rinsing out my hair of the bit of blood that remained from my headbutt, having long since fallen off the high I’d ridden while teaching Mina a lesson.
God, how stupid was I? Pretty dumb. I bet Maddox and Mina would have a laugh at me the next time they were together, whenever that was. Tomorrow. Next week. Didn’t matter, because, like I’d been reminded, none of these men belonged to me.
I stayed in the shower for a long time, standing in the water, trying to let it give me a baptism of some kind, wash away all the confusion and feelings and the other shit weighing me down. It didn’t work, but it was nice to close my eyes in the steamy air and picture a great expanse of nothing, of pure blackness around me.
That’s what I imagined death was like. A cold hug that never let you go. I couldn’t forget that’s where I was headed, that this family would kill me for what I’d done.
Crooked Heart (A Death So Sweet Book 2) Page 14
