by Amanda Churi
To lessen pain was sin here—mercy was sin, and even she had it.
Memories closing in, I lightly touched my shoulder, feeling through the muscle for my bone. What would really be gained if I succeeded with my current plans? Was this the right path? I didn’t want redemption or forgiveness for following Satan; it was a dream that would never be caught, but even so, I had become so accustomed to this here life that standing amongst sunshine and starlight would have disgusted me. But that didn’t make Satan’s way of ruling right, and it certainly didn’t pardon Him from my vengeance that was burning from the moment that putrid finger pointed my way, ordering me to indirect death.
I still wonder just how Azuré was turned into an Essence… And why. What could she have done that…?
My thoughts were halted, answers revealing themselves the moment I tried to look into the matter. They were unreviewed, uncleansed as they began to come forth, but the possibility… Was that what did it? She couldn’t have.
She rested her hand on my shoulder, giving it a squeeze just like she always did whenever I hit forger’s block. My nose scrunched when I imagined her motivating touch. So few friends and allies, and, of course, the only one who could have helped me sort out the dastardly fate of an Essence was gone.
“Isn’t it a lovely view?” she asked, digging her claws under my collarbone—and sharper than she usually did, trying to get some hidden point across.
“As lovely as hideous can get,” I replied dryly. “Nothing like my old view.”
“Ahhh, but this isn’t bad! You can see a different world whether you look up or down!”
I exhaled with longing. “But mine was hideously beautiful… I remember the days that we would just rest in the lava and talk about my inventions, and… Ha, how you would try to snag every new weapon that I—” I hardly inhaled—perhaps one molecule snuck its way into my nose, and when it didn’t attach to a known receptor, our conversation was over.
I swung my legs over my head and locked them around the neck of whoever had approached. I slammed my legs back down, and they flew toward the drop neck-first; I hardly even realized I grabbed them because they were so light, and it was only when I propped myself up on my rump, clutching them tighter and looking over the ledge that my suspicions were confirmed.
My gnarly feet were the only things keeping them alive, but the creature did not seem to know that as their feet touched the abyss. Even with my toenails digging into their neck, their breathing was relaxed—every piece of them was calm and collected. And the nerve he…she…it had was astounding. They just swung their arms from side to side, their legs doing the same thing as they smiled—giggled.
“Eero!”
I hardly turned to look at Korbu as he and Maeve hauled themselves onto the overhang, aghast by my capture. The creature looked over at my approaching allies, gasping with fascination and wildly waving their hands in welcome. “Hellooo! Do you understanddd meee?”
“…What the Heaven am I looking at?” Korbu wondered, crawling forward on his hands and knees until he was beside me, looking down into Death’s belly. Maeve was far more hesitant; while her eyes took to the catch, the rest of her body yearned for the stone and won quite easily as she plopped down in exhaustion.
“You don’t know?” I wondered aloud, looking back at the unnamed creature.
“Huh?” Korbu glanced at me, engrossed by surprise. “Why would I?”
I was astounded. “…It-it’s not a new type of demon?”
“Ellooo?” it continued, drawing out each and every word in an obnoxious pitch. “Can you hurl me up nowww?”
“Don’t,” Korbu whispered. “That thing… It’s not a demon, but it’s certainly not human. It might be with the Proxez.”
I spread my legs and let them drop without a second thought.
“Whoaaa!” They smiled as they began their free fall, but they hardly allowed it to last, throwing up an arm and snatching me by the ankle just before they were out of reach. I grunted in shock, immediately slamming my claws into the cliff as they pulled me forward.
“Eero!” Korbu lunged after me, grabbing me by the hair.
In a trembling chain, we clung to one another. My fangs were grinding into my lips, my nails cringing with the threat to snap off. The fronts of my hips were over the wormhole, and the stub of my sliced tail hardly touched the ground. That item, misfit—whatever latched itself to my leg—they didn’t weigh a lot, but they were thrashing so much, swinging from my leg as though it was a vine, that it took all I had to not slip farther.
“Knock it off!” I roared. Korbu had to pull harder to offset their force; my neck ached and burned, trying to keep itself attached on both fronts.
“Then pull me uppp!” They touched the wall with their legs, pushing off it to repel themselves farther out into the unknown. My body slid forward until I almost toppled over; Korbu nearly ripped my head off to keep hold of me. “Pull me up nowww!”
“KORBU, FOR FUCK’S SAKE, LISTEN TO THE MUTANT!”
“Agh!” Bone and magic, Korbu found his footing and carefully rose, keeping a tight hold on my locks. As a player in tug-of-war, he positioned himself, straining his demonized body while gradually moving back to pull me to safety. Maeve continued to lie there, attentive to the situation, but not enough so that she would burn even one more unnecessary calorie.
The moment my heels had leverage, my legs spun like no other. I scrambled back onto that puny slab we relied on, involuntarily taking the mooch with me. They laughed out of pure enjoyment, a wide smile burned into their lacerated lips as they lay down stomach-first, still holding onto my lifeline of an ankle. “Awesomeee!”
Many things besides their word choice disgusted me. I ripped my foot out of their prickly touch and threw it in their face, rolling them across the ground and into a wall of rock. And they still laughed.
“You want me to show you something really funny?!” I demanded, romping toward them. They rolled onto their opposite side to face my impending wrath, but that only cracked them up more.
I halted, mind blown. I didn’t know if they were an opponent or not, but it was definitely hard to put on a terrifying show with them able to brush off any death threat with a side of humor. “W-what the heck are you?” I forced myself to say. “You psychotic nut.”
“Oh-ho-ho!” They took in a massive burst of air, their chest growing to such an extent that they went from flat to obese in a second’s time. “So, so sorry! This is simply amazinggg!” With an elastic whoosh, they sat upright, folding their legs into each other and proceeding to braid them like a rope. “Cross, cross, down; cross, cross, down!”
Curiosity drew Maeve to her feet. The three of us stood next to each other, getting a good look at that ball of crazy. Still, I don’t think any of us knew what to say.
Whether they were male or female, I did not know; their features seemed to be a mixture of both. Their skin had to have come directly from a sack of feed, and in the areas that it ripped, patches of random, colorful fabric bridged the connection. One eye was a large blue button, and the other was human, but the iris was puffy and had a gory red tint, almost as though blood had been injected through the cornea. Their nose was clearly not native to their body; it was far too small, and it looked like a human’s—one that had been sewn on. Their mouth was constructed from pins and yarn, opening and closing to reveal interior lint and stuffing, and someone else’s sewn-on scalp made up their hair—the fibers were short on one side and a long, loose red on the other. Safety pins took the place of earrings, and a large needle, approximately three feet in length, went straight through their neck.
Rags clothed them—a long, raggedy shirt with a scissor-zipper and baggy pants that had the same physique as a skirt. A bright red, lumpy scarf masked their lower neck and padded their shoulders, each of which was equipped with a flat pincushion and standard sized needles. A measuring tape with a key-lock made up their belt, and four huge spools of thread were equipped to the sides, all a pure wh
ite.
A doll. That was the closest thing they resembled: a messy, unplanned piece of patchwork that was appalling to the eye.
They mustn’t have had real bones; the fact that they fishtailed their legs proved that. Each hand and foot were sewn on at the ankles and wrists; the same bode true for their head, the strings about their neck coming off as an intricate choker.
“…I’ll ask you again,” I grunted. “What are you?”
“Ah!” They made eye contact with me, parting their mouth and stretching the strings that stole the role of saliva. “I am me!”
“And you are?”
“Me!” They proceeded to unbraid their legs that were as flat as noodles from the intense constriction. The doll began humming to itself, pushing their palms into their hips and gently moving the excess stuffing back down into their thighs and calves.
“Crazy-ass puppet,” Korbu said with a disgusted huff. “What are you, another screw-up on the Proxez’s part?”
“Nope!” it chided, bouncing to its feet and wringing its spine as one would a towel. “I’m clearly Daddy’s mistake!”
“…And who is your father?” Maeve tried.
The doll gasped. Its stuffed spine spun back to its natural position. “How dare you! Daddy is not my father! I am my own father! I raised myself!”
“…What.” Maeve’s response wasn’t a question; it was just a blunt answer formed from the word “done.”
The doll plucked the needle from its neck, excitedly tapping it against its palm. “So, where is Daddy now? I can see that he touched you! Guess he keeps making new children! And you’re all sooo different, too! He keeps getting better, haha! I knew I was just the rough draft!”
Korbu and Maeve took a much-needed step back; I was too confused to. “Well, where did you come from…?” I started, trying to change the course of the conversation. “There’s nothing here.”
An exclamation mark should have popped up over their head. They broke out into another fit of laughter, leaping into the air and clicking their heels together. “Ahhh, I will teach you!”
I couldn’t follow this thing! “Teach me what?!”
“Follow, follow!” Despite being a tad over five feet, they had to have floated on nothing more than thirty pounds. They skipped past me humming that same upbeat tune, using their needle as a mallet and hip as a gong. “Come, come!”
Me and my team of warriors looked at one another with the unison shake of a head. We didn’t even have a name; perhaps they were so stupid that “Daddy” didn’t bother to give them one. “We should just get out of here,” I input with a hot, urgent huff. “That thing is unstable…”
“I said comeee!” Our group looked back at where the puppet stood, beaconing us down with an idiotic smile. The face of the spanning mountain had crumbled where they stood, a heap of gravel and coal creating a short set of stairs leading to a tight, claustrophobic tunnel—one so small that I doubted I would fit.
“Come on, let’s go before it tries something,” Korbu urged from the side of his mouth.
“It might just try to pull us back,” Maeve countered. “It’s pretty excited to see us for whatever reason—”
“Probably because we’re the only goddamn thing it has seen.”
“Yeah, the mismatched nose and scalp say otherwise,” she shot back.
“Heyooo!” The creature skipped back over to us, the stuffing in its neck going slack as it innocently leaned its head against its shoulder. “You guys aren’t deaf, righttt? I have some extra ears back there if you need a new pair.”
“…Told you,” Maeve quietly boasted.
The creature paid no attention to them; instead, it grabbed my ear. I immediately swatted its hand away. “Oh, great structure!” it commented. It repeatedly tried to poke my lobe; each time, I knocked them back. “Aw, lemme study ittt! It is sooo…” A world of air filled its stringy body. “How could youuu?!”
I didn’t even know what it was wailing about until its sticky fingers found Coruscus, whipping it off my shoulder and into its own hands.
“HEY!” I screamed, rounding on the raggedy deviant. It did not even register my wrath, off at lightning speed toward the little hole. “WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK—?!”
“I will save youuu!” the toy announced heroically, waving Coruscus around by the tail. With an elegant spring, it dove head-first into the rabbit hole, sliding right into the pit of black. Dumbfounded, I stopped on the broken steps, glaring down into the tunnel with virulent eyes as its damn laugh echoed up and hit me in the face. The doll continued to slide on its belly until it suddenly dropped down and vanished, leaving just a hungry black hole.
“YOU ASSS!” I screamed after it in the same lagging, whiny tone. “ASSHOLEEE!”
Korbu and Maeve sighed; their fed-up expressions and folded arms could have made them twins. “So, let me guess,” Maeve began, “another detour because of your fabulous planning skills?”
“Shut up!” I screamed. I tucked my head in and rammed the wall with my shoulder, but it proved to be a daunting foe. “You’re so annoying! I don’t see how my other half put up with you!”
She shot a glorious glob of spit from her lip. “And it’s astounding that my fragile boyfriend had a brute like you buried within.”
She wasn’t worth my breath. I wouldn’t stand to hear one more degrading word as shove after shove I broke down the wall, honed in on that mocking laughter echoing up from wherever the fiend scurried off to. I would get Coruscus back, and I would capture that imbecile no matter what.
After all, I wasn’t an angel anymore… I wasn’t even sure if I was a demon, but I sure as Heaven wasn’t the bitch that all of them were trying to make me out to be. If they kept testing me, they would be dragged to that terrifying realization soon enough—
And what I had planned with that runt of a doll would be my first official demonstration.
Nine
Sensible
She did not live in a typical location—she was not allowed to, for her wisdom was so valuable to the clan leader that no one could know she lived besides those who dwelled around her. Despite being loyal servants to the Lord, the lerials did have their own secrets, stowed away and hidden in the tightest nooks and crannies of the Returned.
Merritt was unknown to the overlord, even his dearest huntsman. She was kept hidden in the depths of the forest, so far off the main path that only the emaciated lerials could slip through the slight gaps between the trunks.
That forced the group to improvise, making the trek very long and very slow.
The Returned would not move for Sybil; while still a demon by blood, her heart had taken a merciful path, and the Returned rejected those petty feelings. Flye had sway with her blade of nightmares, one of the most potent evils, but Vasili did not trust her—he would never trust any mortal who had leverage over his people. For that reason, he did all of the work, floating before the Returned that got in their way of travel and commanding them to move, giving any that were being stubborn a nice scratch across the face of their bark.
The trees bent like rubber to form a dark tunnel of wood and ice. They made sure to conceal those traveling; when Seek’s lagging foot moved on, the trees cracked and groaned, slowly rebounding to block the path before any unauthorized creatures had the chance to scamper after the confidential group. It was a well-choreographed dance above their heads as the positions of twigs continuously shifted, giving rise to a chaotic storm of brown and black that had never been so beautiful to Flye. Her jaw gaped, and her head stretched back, leaving her legs to move on their own. Sybil only glanced up every so often from Flye’s shoulder; for the most part, both her thin rump and tiny head stayed down, gruesome images of Kaitlyn’s death pulsing in her mind and twisting her stomach.
Of course, Griffin and the others were awestruck by the scenery as well, but they never allowed their guard to fall. Even though the forest was Sybil’s homeland, she had been marked a traitor, so there was no reassurance that the grou
p should come out unharmed. The only thing that Vasili had to gain from this temporary alliance was food—
But then again, given how scrawny they were and the rate that Kaitlyn’s flesh was consumed, the odds of Vasili holding up his end of the bargain were higher than what they initially thought.
“So, what could Merritt possibly know that could help us defeat the Proxez?” Virgil snorted, never letting Vasili stray from his sight. “I mean, don’t you know everything she does?”
The clan leader’s eyes were glowing, shedding a ring of enforcing light on the Returned which many immediately understood, literally bowing to his will and granting passage. “No, I don’t; I only know what I ask for. What I do know is that she dwelled in this forest well before we did. She watched us be dragged up from Hell and come back as something completely foreign—minds swept and instincts altered. She tried to explain our roots when we came back, but that only made her come off as a Glitch.
“The clan tried to kill her, but Merritt was too quick—too flighty. The most the clan could do was banish her and keep her at bay, and for centuries, that was that. But when we started starving… When our home merely became an occasional banishment ground, the clan leader grew desperate for advice and sought Merritt out on peaceful terms.”
He paused, losing a bit of height as his pace of flight slowed. “At first, the clan leader did not believe her, but when times got harsher, they finally realized that her words were true. Merritt was unmarked as an outcast, but she refused to rejoin the clan; since, her wisdom has been sought after by each leader.
“But it has been a rule that the head must deny her words to all but themselves. Two lerials in each lifetime is plenty to hold the secrets of our past. If the clan discovered that those outrageous accusations were true, we would more than certainly be wiped out; the clan would head for the mainland on a rampage, and they would inevitably lose.” He looked over his shoulder at Virgil, who listened with a straight face. “Only the most collected of lerials are selected as clan leaders—not the most vicious. We need leaders who can make use of our history without going insane.”
