I had to sit her down once and gently let her know that when I woke up, I didn’t have the benefit of two productive hours and three cups of coffee under my belt. All I had were fond memories of a warm bed and vague apprehensions on the day ahead.
She had understood. Now we spent the first thirty minutes in silence. After I ate, I asked if we had anything I could pack for a cold lunch. Mom was a good cook, but she didn’t like doing dishes so she made huge batches of food when the mood stroke. Packing a lunch was usually a breeze. I simply reached for any of the dozens of glassware containers, as well as smaller containers she filled with nuts, homemade cookies, or treats, and filled my water bottle. Done.
Packing a cold lunch would prove a little more challenging. Or so I thought. In minutes, mom had assembled a bento-box-like feast that would do any dietician proud. I was reminded of the amazing lunches she used to pack for me at school. Tasty, nutritious, and fun. I thanked her profusely for feeding me so well. I did this regularly because I had seen what other kids at school ate and they were clearly left to their own devices.
While I was getting dressed, she asked if I wanted a ride to school. She was heading into town for more interviews. I told her I’d take the bus. Contrary to most high school kids, I liked taking the bus. It was only a fifteen-minute ride, and I got to pop in my headphones and take a power nap. When I finally got to school, I was ready to take on the world. Or French.
* * *
Today, Monsieur Marcel had us reading Barbe Bleue, a French folk tale written by Charles Perreault. It was the story of Bluebeard, a wealthy man who, soon after his marriage, went away, leaving his wife the keys to all the doors in his castle yet forbid her to open any of them. She took no heed and found the bodies of his former wives. Upon his return, Bluebeard noticed a bloody smudge on one of the keys and threatened to cut off her head for her disobedience. Just as Bluebeard was about to strike the final blow, the wife was saved by the timely arrival of her brothers.
It’s not a bad story, except that we had to read aloud in turn, something I hated. Then we discussed the moral of the story before splitting up into teams to order the twelve strips of paper she had placed in an envelope to reconstruct the story. Then, in pairs, we had to make lists of the physical and emotional attributes of each of the characters. For homework, we had to write a three-hundred-word response to the following prompt: compare and contrast the couple dynamics with those of today.
After a quick chat at the break with Mel at my locker, I headed to Phys. Ed. At least here I could give my poor brain a rest. Not only did my mind get a rest, but my body did too. Today’s class was about restorative poses. Easy-peasy. The class ended with a guided relaxation in corpse pose, my favorite. Now, if only Ms. Maxwell could stop talking, it would be bliss. My wish was granted when there was a knock at the door. Called away, the teacher instructed us to let our minds drift into silent meditation. I promptly fell asleep.
Chapter 5
I was lying on the grass, basking in the sunshine. The warmth felt divine on my face and arms and all I could hear was the two-note song of a faraway mockingbird. Wait, birdsong?
I got up abruptly. I was in the grassy fields behind the Castle. I must had fallen asleep in yoga class. Funny how I forgot all about the Castle when I was awake, but when I was asleep I could recall everything.
Conscious I would likely not have a lot of time, I hurried towards the Castle. The courtyard was empty. I sprinted down the road and entered the first door on my right. Once my eyes adjusted to the dark interior, I set off in the direction I thought led to the front of the house. There was an endless number of doors on either side of me as I walked briskly down the wide hallway. I resisted the temptation to open the doors. I knew what I’d find.
What I needed now was a Teacher, a Guide, or even a Manager. I had to find out how to come here voluntarily, or at least learn to stay longer at night. I saw a foyer up ahead, though I didn’t think it was the main hall. When I reached it, I saw it was a landing. On one side there were stairs with the most beautiful stained-glass window I had ever seen. It depicted a girl and horse galloping in a field very much like the one behind the castle. The girl, me of course, had a look of utter joy and something akin to freedom as she rode with her hair blowing in the wind, crouched low on her steed.
I was so mesmerized by the window that I forgot why I had come and jumped at the sound of the elevator’s ding. Wait, elevator?
* * *
I was woken up by the sound of the triangle the teacher clanged to wake the students at the end of class. I was not the only one who fell asleep, teenagers were notorious for not getting enough sleep. Except me. I got enough sleep but here I was falling asleep everywhere like I suffered from narcolepsy. Perhaps I should make an appointment with the school nurse. I made a mental note of it as I changed and rushed back to my locker to grab my lunch.
When I got to the table, my friends were already there. They were talking about the new Avatar sequel coming out.
“I can’t wait to see that!” I said, opening my lunch container. The conversation immediately stopped as they all stared it.
“On the one hand, I want to tease you and ask if you stole a kindergartener’s lunch. On the other hand, I want to beg you to swap with me like we did in grade school,” joked Sam.
His lunch was a store-bought egg-salad sandwich, a lime-colored Jell-O, and a bag of salt-and-vinegar chips. I had half a mind to agree to a swap if he was serious. That looked sinfully delicious. I bit my lip and thought better of it. I had a theory that Mom’s nutritious food was what had kept acne at bay until now. The theory was only reinforced by glancing at Sam’s pimpled face.
I embraced my lunch and hissed out, “my precious,” which cracked everybody up and we moved on to other topics of discussion.
The rest of the day was greatly improved. Mel, Julie, and I had two periods of English today. Our class had just finished reading The Giver, one of my favorite books. The afternoon was dedicated to watching the movie adaptation and comparing it to the book.
When I got home, I was too restless to start on homework, so I headed back out. Intent on my usual thirty-minute walk, I opted for a brisk neighborhood walk. When possible, I liked to help Mom with dinner.
The walk felt good after sitting all afternoon and when I got home, I felt refreshed and focused. Mom’s weekly menu, posted on the fridge, indicated that we were having lasagna tonight. Yum! I pre-heated the oven, transferred the baking dish from the fridge to the oven, and set a timer for thirty minutes. That would give me just enough time to write my response for the French class.
Mom got home right when the oven timer was beeping. She took out the lasagna and started tossing a salad. I told her I was not quite finished with my French assignment and I conveniently finished just when she told me dinner is ready.
Over dinner, I told mom about lunch with my friends and the rest of my day. Her day was uneventful. She’s glad the interviews were over. She planned on working that evening. If she sent her recommendations tonight, she’d be done with this client and could take it easy tomorrow. That meant one of two things, either she’d head for a day at a local spa, or she’d bake all day.
Once the dishes were done, we went our desperate ways until it was time to say goodnight. We were very much creatures of habit.
Chapter 6
This time, I was back on the lane leading to the front door. There had to be a faster way to get where I was going. When I reached the Castle, I didn’t bother knocking. The door was unlocked and I made my way to the yellow sitting room.
There were about a dozen or so girls there again, but some were new. One was dressed as a ballet dancer. I couldn’t believe there was a world where I was that lean and graceful. Another was wearing a lab coat with a pair of protective glasses pushed up in her hair. I made a mental note to ask her for help on my upcoming Physics exam.
My eyes rested on an emo girl sitting cross-legged on the floor, back to the wall. She was we
aring skinny black jeans, black Converse shoes, and a t-shirt that read “Black is My Happy Color.” The bangs of obviously dyed black hair obscured part of her face, but it was still me. With bangs! And a nose piercing. And heavy black eye makeup. Unbelievable.
I shook it off and looked for Singer. She seemed to be the ring-leader here. She was sitting on the piano belting a touching rendition of Tomorrow from the Annie Soundtrack. I rushed towards her and stopped directly in front of her. She had been staring out into space and suddenly recoiled upon seeing me in her space. She faltered then stopped singing abruptly.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, scooting off the piano and placing a hand on my shoulder.
“What’s wrong is that I can never stay here long enough to get any information, and when I wake up, I’ve forgotten it all!” I replied in a near shriek.
She nodded in understanding. “Yes, I can see the difficulty. That’s because you have not yet Awoken.”
“Then can somebody wake me up? And also, is there any way of arriving directly in this room? I keep arriving at various points outside, and it takes forever to make my way here. Once I made it as far as the back door, and the last time I made it to the elevator,” I said, frustrated.
“I see,” she said calmly, and I wanted to shake her. I whipped around, searching for the Teacher, but she wasn’t in the room. “I can’t awaken you, but I can help you stay here longer.”
I gave her my best ‘get on with it’ stare, and she continued, “repeat after me. ‘I wish to stay at the Castle for as long as is required to achieve my goal.’” She smiled brightly, proud to be of service. This one could give me lessons on calm and chipperness. I took a deep breath and repeated the sentence. I waited for a bit, but nothing happened.
“How do I know it worked?” I asked, impatient.
“You’ll have to take my word for it,” she replied and pulled me toward the sofa where Needlepoint was sitting contentedly stitching and humming, though no music was currently playing. I nodded at her and she gave me a serene smile. She would be my go-to for patience and serenity.
Singer and I sat opposite each other, she on the sofa and in one of the armchairs.
“Tomorrow night, before you go to bed, you should say the phrase I just gave you along with ‘I wish to go to the yellow sitting room’ and ‘I wish to remember all about my visit to the Castle.’ That should solve your immediate problems,” she said.
Just then, the Teacher appeared from the door and asked me to follow her. I shrugged and waved at Singer and Needlepoint. She led me down the hall to the elevator I had seen earlier that day. This must be a recent addition. I was pretty sure medieval castles didn’t have elevators. On the way down, I told her about my conversation with Singer.
She nodded in approval. “Yes, you should be able to stay longer today. Especially since our goal is to hasten your Awakening,” she replied.
The door dinged and we exited the elevator in what had to had been the dungeons once. Though the hall was well lit and the stone wall was clean, there was an unmistakable dampness to the air. It was cooler here than above, and I shivered slightly. As I followed her down the hallway, I wondered if I could conjure a sweater, when my favorite hoodie appeared in my hands.
At my astonished look, the Teacher chuckled. “You have much to learn,” she said and stopped in front of a door. It was a smaller version of the carriage door, with a small opening. There were bars in the opening and I couldn’t help but think that this led to an isolation chamber and take an involuntary step back.
“Don’t worry, it’s just an office,” she said and pulled the door open. It wasn’t locked. She led the way and turned on an overhead light. The room inside looked like a regular office, except that the back wall was a floor-to-ceiling aquarium. The Teacher motioned for me to sit in one of the armchairs in front of the fire, opposite the aquarium. I couldn’t help turning and asking, “is that real?”
She chuckled. “No, it’s an illusion. I don’t choose the location of my office, but I have total control over how it appears. I like the ocean. Would you prefer another view?”
“No, that’s fine,” I replied and turned back towards the fireplace. The warmth of the fire pushed out the damp chill, and soon after, I took off my hoodie.
“Now, then. Let’s begin. I’m sure you have many questions,” she said and paused to let me ask them.
“I do. Yesterday, you told me you needed my help, but you never told me with what. I’m assuming that is why the goal is to hasten my Awakening. Second, if this hadn’t happened, when would I normally have Awakened? Third, what exactly does an Awakening entail?” I asked. There, that about covers it.
She studied me for a moment, perhaps wondering where to begin. Finally, she nodded to herself and said, “the Awakening happens when we are aware that we are creating our own reality. A moment ago, I told you I could control my office’s appearance but not its location. It’s the same in your life.”
To demonstrate her point, she closed her eyes, and the office walls turned clear as glass. The office appeared to have been placed in the middle of the desert. I swiveled in my chair to take it in. When she spoke again, the room reverted to its previous appearance.
“You can control what happens in your life,” she said.
“You mean I can change it as easily as you just did? Or do you mean that my life is actually an illusion?” I asked, unsure where she was going with this.
“Have you made something happen while in a dream?” she asked.
“Yes, I can change what I’m wearing or, if I don’t like the dream, I can dream of something else,” I replied.
“That’s what we call lucid dreaming. It means that you are aware that you are dreaming and therefore can exert your will on what is going on. It’s the same for your waking life, except it’s not quite as instant. It requires a little more thought and skill,” she answered.
“The Awakening is when you become aware of this in your waking life. Once that step is achieved, you can learn how to do it right here at the Castle. The first thing you learn is how to come here deliberately, in your waking hours.”
“Wait, are you saying I can do magic? Close my eyes and make it so I’m at the beach or have an ice cream sundae appear before me?” I asked, half joking and half hopeful.
She laughed. “Perhaps, in time, with practice and determination, you could achieve those things. But for now, let’s focus on letting you stay here long enough to learn something and be able to come here when you need answers.”
“Does it involve a lot of meditation?” I asked, uneasy. I knew meditation would do me good, especially as I was such a worrier. But anything that begun with meditation was bound to take forever and yield very little.
“Meditation certainly helps, but no. I’m referring to being aware of your thoughts and the results they produce. Thoughts manifest into things. For example, every time you worry about something, you are calling that very thing to you,” she explained.
“Is that why I’m not getting the grades I want in math and science?” I asked.
“It is very likely. Are you constantly afraid you might fail?” she asked.
“Yes! Or I’ll have a poor grade,” I wailed.
“There you go!” she said, waving her arms to mean she rested her case.
I mulled this over. Could it really be that simple?
At my skeptical expression, the Teacher said, “why don’t you test it out, scientifically? Be sure to have a positive hypothesis, though. If you don’t expect it to work, it can’t work. Why do think scientists get varying results from the same experiments? Because their expectations vary and are almost always confirmed!” she exclaimed with a grin.
I nodded, taking it in. How can I test this? I could expect to get an A on my next physics test. I was going to study for it anyway, and an A was what I wanted, but I never actually expected it.
“Ok, here is my hypothesis: I expect to get an A in my next Physics exam,” I asserted.
“You’ve got to believe it’s possible,” she added.
“I’m attentive in class, take copious notes, do all the exercises, and study like my life depends on it. I should be getting As. I can’t explain why I’m getting them until now. It’s definitely more than possible,” I said, excited now at the opportunities ahead.
“I’m going to ask you to close your eyes and imagine getting your exam back with a bright red A on it,” she said. I closed my eyes.
In my mind, I was sitting in class as the teacher was passing out the graded exams. Instead of the usual dread I felt, I forced myself to feel an excited expectancy. I started to wiggle in my seat and silently clapping my hands in anticipation. When the teacher reached me, she was smiling and said, “I don’t know what you did, but keep it up, kiddo!”
I thanked her and stared at my perfect grade. There was a warmth spreading in my chest, and the pressure was building. It’s rising to my throat, and I couldn’t help shouting, “woohoo!”
I realized then that I was, in fact, in the teacher’s office, standing with a triumphant arm raised and a goofy grin on my face.
“Well done, Clare. If you can do that every day until your exam, I guarantee you’ll see improvement,” she said. “And do remember to repeat those phrases before bed tomorrow.”
“Is it time to go already?” I asked. I was pumped. I was ready for the big stuff. “Wait, you still haven’t told me what you need my help for?” I asked, but I could hear the insistent buzzing of my alarm clock.
Chapter 7
Miracle of miracles, as I woke up, I could remember everything that happened at the Castle since I first went. Humans really were highly suggestible beings. This put a spring in my step because it meant that I was probably going to get an A in my physics exam. This was so exciting! I had to get out of bed.
Clarity Castle Page 3
