Chapter 30
“I’ll tell you why I chose those baseball fields,” Schwartz replied to Vincent. “It’s a public place, so it provides a level of security because potentially anything done there can be seen. That dovetails into our plan because of the openness and spread out nature of the site, we can conduct surveillance from a distance, but remain anonymous. Last of all, it sits up on a hill so I can see what’s coming and going long before it reaches me.”
“Makes sense,” Vincent replied.
“It also doesn’t hurt that I’m a huge baseball fan,” Schwartz added. “I’ve been playing on, coaching, or managing baseball teams since I was 5 years old. It’s in my blood. No matter what, baseball fields always bring me luck. I guess you could say it’s my happy, safe place.” Schwartz knew that last part probably sounded a little hokey, but he didn’t care. The ballpark was definitely his sanctuary.
“Outstanding, then!” Vincent exclaimed. “A little luck can go a long way.”
Shauna and Nick looked at each other and silently mouthed, “baseball.” They gave each other disgusted looks, enjoying the moment of their private joke. Nick hopped into Shauna’s sidecar as she fired up the Harley.
“You guys good with the camera?” O’Neil asked over the din of the motorcycle. Nick and Shauna each gave him a thumbs up. O’Neil gave the same signal back to Schwartz. Vincent jumped in the backseat with Sylvia and Andy as the two U.S. Marshals briefly conversed outside the car.
“You guys ready for some action?” Vincent eagerly asked.
“Honestly Vincent, we were hoping to avoid any more action this evening,” Sylvia said.
“Right,” Vincent sheepishly responded, avoiding eye contact. “I’m sure the only action will be talking between U.S. Marshals. I just kind of got a little too involved in this whole surveillance business.”
“It’s alright, Vincent,” Sylvia replied. “A little action can be exciting, too, I suppose.”
“You two can speak for yourselves. Getting shot with a taser is about all of the damn police action I ever want to have again. I’ll probably squirt a little pee every time I hear sirens or see blue and red lights in my rearview.”
“Well then, dear, we’ll just have to invest in some adult under garments so you don’t get too embarrassed when you’re with the boys in blue,” Sylvia said as she folded a scarf into four equal sections and sat it on her lap. When she was finished she looked up at Andy and gave him a half smile. Andy grunted and looked out the door window and watched the taillights on the motorcycle make the turn at the end of the street.
“I kind of like that girl he’s with,” Andy said to nobody in particular.
“She seems nice, and I think he really likes her,” Vincent added.
“I’m just glad he’s not alone,” Sylvia said. “I know life after Sandy has been a challenge for him. I just want him to be happy and never get shot with a taser.”
“Amen to that,” Andy said.
Schwartz and O’Neil jumped in the front seats and started the car. Schwartz turned his head to the occupants in the back. “Are you people still good with this, because now’s the time to speak up.” All three gave him an affirmative head nod. “Well alright, then. Let’s roll.”
As Schwartz pulled the car into the street, O’Neil fiddled with radios and attempted to do a sound check with Nick and Shauna. O’Neil wore an earpiece with the handheld radio, making him the only one who could hear incoming transmissions.
“They can’t hear anything on that damn motorcycle, kid. Wait until we get to the park, and their eardrums stop rattling inside their head.”
“Right,” O’Neil said, still looking at the radios with a confused look on his face. “I just got a weird transmission, and I think it was Chief Gionelli.” Schwartz looked at O’Neil, who did not elaborate.
“Well? What did he say?”
“It didn’t really sound like he was talking to us. It was more like to himself.”
“Probably just sitting on the mic and accidently keyed it. Hopefully he’s not singing along with the radio. That man has a God awful voice.”
“Yeah, I’m sure that’s what happened, but that’s not the strange part. The strange part is what he said.” O’Neil leaned into Schwartz’s ear and whispered, “I could hear a phone ringing, like it was picking up a call that was on speaker.” Once again O’Neil paused, not sure how or if he really wanted to divulge the next part.
“And?” Schwartz said with increasing agitation, as he wanted O’Neil to spill out the information without him having to drag it out of him.
“He kept saying pick up, Whiteside, you crazy albino fuck.” O’Neil drew away from Schwartz and sat back on his side of the front seat. Schwartz followed him with his eyes, which appeared gravely concerned with the information just relayed to him by his partner.
With an elevated level of paranoia, Andy asked, “Why are you two whispering up there? I thought we were in this together!”
Vincent noticed the worried look he saw on Schwartz’s face and began to question the sanity of allowing himself and the others to be basically deputized and taken into a potentially highly dangerous situation. Of course we’re talking about high level dog theft. Sure there was the protected federal witness part, but that was in the past. Or was it?
“It’s nothing, just our boss’s orders,” O’Neil lied.
Andy studied what he could see from the backseat and made a quick read. “Bullshit, you’re lying,” he exclaimed. “Don’t try and bullshit a bullshitter. Tell us the truth.”
“That is the truth, goddamit!” Schwartz bellowed. His voice boomed through the car and left everybody’s ears ringing. “My boss accidently keyed his mic and transmitted information that is sensitive and not for everybody else’s ears in the fucking car. You got it?”
Sylvia gripped Andy’s knee, half out of fear of Schwartz and half out fear from not knowing how her husband would respond. The tension was palpable. Nobody moved or even took a deep breath. The silence weighed heavier in the air than the screaming voices. Everybody’s eyes stared straight ahead except Andy’s. He stared directly at Schwartz, who kept his eyes on the road. But Andy could tell the U.S. Marshal was distracted, wrestling internal demons that played out like a movie in his eyes which reflected off the rearview mirror.
“So does anybody think the Rockies have a shot at playing into October?” Vincent asked no one in particular. “I mean, the pitching’s been solid, but the bats have been silent a little longer than I’d like to see.” His attempt at a little baseball levity to ease the tension between Andy and Schwartz netted no relaxation inside the sedan.
“Why don’t you just come clean?” Andy directed at the driver. His voice lost its anger and expressed a level of calmness that surprised Vincent.
“I should take the advice from a professional gambler on the lamb from the U.S. Attorney’s Office? I know you play people for a living, but I’m not a mark in a card game.” Schwartz spoke in a more peaceful tone, partly due to the fact he couldn’t have spoken much louder a few seconds ago.
“Sylvia and I are the ones getting used as bait to lure your boss here, so excuse me if I don’t see us as the marks,” Andy said. “I’m not trying to play anyone. I just want to know the score, and I know you’re not telling us something.”
Schwartz eased the brakes as they approached a stop sign. When the car came to a rest he leaned over the seat back and said, “It sounds like my boss called the guy who’s got the dog. And no, I don’t know what that means, but I think everybody will be safe. I wouldn’t go this far if I didn’t.” Schwartz believed it, but there were some intrinsic risks with any police work, and he had knowingly decided to involve civilians in the fray. He rapidly processed O’Neil’s information to determine if he needed to change course. He didn’t know for sure if it was his own curiosity or if this was really the best avenue to approach the situation. Either way, he decided the
y were moving forward.
The three in the backseat exchanged glances, and Vincent shrugged his shoulders signifying he was good with things continuing from this point, despite the new information. Sylvia squeezed Andy’s hand and gave him a peck on the cheek. This softened Andy, as he exhaled a deep breath.
“O.K, then,” Andy said. “Just always be straight with me, and I’ll be fine. I trust you.” He really meant the last part. Schwartz wore on him, but in a good way.
The car lurched forward and serpentined around a series of locally owned shops and offices before cresting a small hill that sat 200 feet from the baseball fields. Vincent eyes squinted, looking for Nick and Shauna, but he could detect nothing in the darkness except for the outline of pine trees, port-a-potties, and public parking. They coasted down the hill toward the park as Schwartz killed the headlights.
“We’ll drop you just to the west over there by the dumpsters and Don’s Jons,” Schwartz told Vincent.
“At my age, that’s probably best,” Vincent said.
“Remember, you’ve got the eyeball in that direction of travel,” O’Neil said pointing toward the western horizon. “It’s important there are no breaks in surveillance.”
“I’m pretty sure he was joking, O’Neil,” Schwartz said.
“Mostly,” Vincent agreed. “Although there are moments.”
Schwartz picked up a large metal coffee can. “Why do you think this is here?” Schwartz asked. “Surveillance can be a bitch, especially when you’re pounding coffee to stay alert.”
“Oh, my word,” Sylvia said, feeling the heat of a blush spread across her face. “I didn’t need that image in my mind.”
“Nice, Schwartz,” Andy said, chuckling under his breath.
“It’s not all glamorous, you know,” Schwartz said.
“That’s the thought that entered my mind the first time I saw you use that can,” O’Neil said. “I’m just glad it has an airtight lid.”
“Yeah, well it’s better than using an empty Gatorade bottle, let me tell you,” Schwartz shared. “It’s amazing how urine matches the color of certain flavors.”
“Please tell me nobody ever mistook one for the real thing,” Sylvia pleaded.
Schwartz emitted a deep, guttural laugh and said, “I try to avoid ever using absolutes like always and never. That tends to come back on you and bite you in the ass.”
“Well on that note, I’ll assume my designated post,” Vincent said. He grabbed the U.S. Marshal two-way radio and jumped out of the back seat. Before shutting the door, he leaned in and said, “And remember people, let’s be safe out there.” Vincent was a sucker for “Hill Street Blues”. Its lack of syndication always upset him.
Everybody but O’Neil smiled at the reference. Schwartz looked at his partner’s lost expression and explained, “It was a line from a cop show in the eighties. You know the eighties? You were probably still playing with Tonka trucks.”
“What’s a Tonka truck?” O’Neil asked.
“Jesus Christ, I’m old,” Andy said from the back. “What’s it like to not know a world without the internet, kid?”
“Pretty good,” O’Neil responded. “Thank God for Al Gore.”
“Good one, kid,” Schwartz said. “I like your ethnic ass a little more each day.”
“That’s dangerously close to sexual harassment, pops, but thanks for noticing. Sorry, I’m not too interested in aging Jewish bears, though. Maybe you should try gay Jewish mingle.com. I hear they have a nice website.”
“That sounds like the voice of experience,” Schwartz said with a laugh. He turned to Sylvia and Andy and said, “See what I have to put up with?”
“The original “Odd Couple”, you two are,” Sylvia said. “Oh, sorry for the old TV/movie reference, Mr. O’Neil.”
“You hear that, Mr. O’Neil?” Schwartz mimicked. “That was called respect. You should give it a try sometime.”
“I will as soon as I can find a partner who deserves it.”
“While you’re out and about looking for that fool, hit the kid and the girl on the radio and see how they’re coming along in the pine trees.”
“I hope they’re not coming along at all. They’ve got work to do,” Andy joked. Sylvia elbowed him in the ribs, a little harder than she meant. Andy let out a yelp.
“Hey, how much abuse am I going to take tonight? Where’s the love?”
“That was done with love,” Sylvia said. “If it hurt too much, that was just a little extra love, Schnukums.”
“Better make sure they’re on the up and up out there, before I get my ass kicked back here.”
O’Neil spoke with Nick over the radio as Schwartz steered the car in front of the clubhouse. From the pine trees, Nick pointed the camera on a tripod at the parking lot and was waiting for the car to assume its final position before focusing. O’Neil had Schwartz make a few test runs talking into the microphone and everything checked out loud and clear.
“Let us know when you want us to press record,” Nick told O’Neil. We’ve got great vision from this spot. We can see everything, and we’re completely covered by the trees. No wonder the high schoolers come up to, uh, you know, uh, have some privacy.”
“Have some privacy?” Shauna asked. “Is that what they’re doing? Looking for some downtime to decompress?” She smiled as she goaded Nick into more detailed graphics. Part of it was just to tease him, but there was a certain sexual excitement interlaced in the teasing. She wondered if Nick felt it, too.
“O.K., fine. They come up here for self-guided sexual exploratory field trips. Be careful not to squat on a used rubber. I didn’t bring any anti-bacterial wipes.” Shauna perused the ground around her and only saw pine needles.
“Looks safe here. They’re either very tidy, or I’m in the blow job area.”
Nick nearly knocked the camera over as he spun around to look at Shauna after that last comment. He suppressed a laugh, thinking for a moment maybe she was suggesting he should move to the “blow job” spot. Shauna gave a deep laugh and started to blush.
“Oh, my, I don’t why I said that,” she said, clearing her throat in an attempt to regain some composure and dignity. She noticed Nick staring at her. “Focus on the camera and your job, and I’ll keep a look out.”
“You’ll have to ease up on the sexual innuendo. It’s making things hard.”
“Hard, huh? Is that all it takes?” Now it was Nick’s turn to blush. There couldn’t be a less appropriate time for this conversation, but it did ease the tension or at least redirect it elsewhere.
“Hard to concentrate,” Nick corrected. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to start thinking about baseball stadiums, parking lots, and U.S. Marshals. You know, safe, uninspiring stuff.”
Nick honed in on the main building that sat a few feet from the sedan. Unlike the older structures in Pine Valley, this facility used primarily corrugated steel and cinder blocks in its construction. There was no rhyolite anywhere in the build-out. It possessed none of the rustic charm that the older parts of the city possessed, but it was built for the functionality of youth league, adult league, and even a few old-timer leagues. On any given night the lights were on and players occupied the fields. There were no concessions, but you could bring your own food and refreshments, alcohol included, at the adult games, as long as you didn’t abuse it. A few rowdies almost ruined it for everybody else a few times over the years, but the regulars banned together and seriously enforced a certain degree of order.
“These are some nice fields,” O’Neil observed. “The grass looks pretty green even in the dark, and it’s early in the baseball season.”
“It’s artificial turf, you jackass,” Schwartz admonished. “Shit’s amazing. Hardly takes any water.” Schwartz looked at O’Neil and swore he could see red pigmentation bleeding through his dark complexion. “Hey, are you starting to….?”
“Don’t even go the
re,” O’Neil said, cutting him off. “The door to the restroom is ajar. I’m going to take a leak.” O’Neil jumped out the car and made his way to the open door in long, purposeful strides. Schwartz chuckled to himself, knowing the kid was more embarrassed than full of piss.
Schwartz turned to Sylvia and Andy. “You guys will just sit tight in the car. No need to get out. I’ll talk with my boss man and lay it out to him about our former client. I’ve got to get the truth this time around and not that BS they fed me years ago.”
“You know, I’m pretty good at telling when somebody’s bluffing,” Andy said. “I might be of assistance.”
Schwartz seriously contemplated the offer. Andy read him pretty quick a few minutes ago, but he wanted them separate from Gionelli and safe with O’Neil in the car. He was even going to have O’Neil sit in driver’s seat with the car running, just in case.
“I appreciate the offer, but I think I better make this a solo act. Besides, after 32 years on the job, the one thing I can do is read people, too.”
Andy nodded his head and believed he probably was good at his trade. He wasn’t entirely sure what Schwartz was looking to achieve by drawing his boss here. Andy surmised Schwartz just wanted to know the truth. This led to Andy’s next great epiphany, which was how he must have made Sylvia feel. All this unexpected traveling and vacationing was based on misconception, omission of the truth, and outright lies. The guilt pangs shot through his heart, hurting more than the taser. Shame enveloped him.
“Sylvia,” Andy began. “I’m sorry I wasn’t truthful with you about this whole affair. I deserved that taser. I put you in a ridiculous position, and I’m sorry. I just never imagined it would play out like this.”
“Sounds like you made the mistake of playing the odds,” Sylvia responded. “And yes, now that I know you’re alright, you did deserve that taser. I might even put that on my Christmas list this year,” she said winking.
“I promise when this thing is over, we’ll take a real vacation, wherever you want to go. I promise.”
“I’m going to hold you to that. I’ve been watching a lot of the Travel Channel lately. Now I know why.” Andy always knew he was a lucky guy, but he never felt as fortunate as he did at this precise moment. She had every right to rip him a new one, but she took the high road. And he got out of the doghouse by going on vacation? Yeah, he had lady luck on his said.
“Oh, hey, I do get to come on this vacation with you, right?” Andy asked after the fact.
“Still to be determined,” Sylvia said without looking at Andy. “I will, naturally, give you plenty of opportunities to earn it. Just play your hand right, big boy.”
The Bernie Factor Page 38
