He shakes his head. “You’re going to fuck me, Bri.” His eyes are sad. “You’ll hurt me another way.”
“You are one manipulative bastard, and I want to go.”
But his eyes are working the usual magic on me, melting my inhibitions, turning my body to languorous honey. Raising the desire. Tamping down the inhibitions.
“You see?” he murmurs. “All it takes is one look from me, and you’re going to obey your master.”
One tear rolls down my cheek. “You’re not my master.” But he is. Somehow, I don’t know how, he already is.
He smiles. “Are you sure?” He leans in, so our lips are almost touching. “Go, then.” He speaks into my mouth. “If you don’t want to fuck me, step back.”
He waits. The heat from his body rises to meet mine, our temperatures mingling, encouraging each other to rise higher. I feel the air around us charged with electricity. My skin crackles.
“If you think I’m such an evil monster, you are free to move.”
But I won’t move. I don’t want to anymore.
All I can think about is his mouth, and his hands, and his cock. About how his body feels on mine, and in me. How I crave his control. And how I do trust him still, despite what he just told me—horrible, awful things that should make me turn away from him forever.
God help me, I still want him.
I need him. My sunless, ageless vampire, my worst relationship choice yet--I need him.
“But if you stay, you’re going to obey me,” he whispers, his lips touching mine, so softly, but the passion explodes at that brief touch. “And you’re going to love every second of it. And you’re going to trust me.”
I look into his eyes for a second. Another. Maybe an hour.
I don’t know how much time passes before I say to him: “Yes.”
Alain
She’s so angry, she could breathe fire. And she’s not wrong to hate me. I lied to her, and I’ve done terrible things. Stupid things, too. But she still wants me. And fuck me, but I’m going to make her scream for her pleasure tonight.
She’s riled up with her passion, and her endorphins are flooding her body. I can already tell that her pain threshold is going to be much higher than normal. Plus, she still has my venom in her body from when I fed on her last night. Together, that will make her tolerance equal to the rougher games I like to play.
She likes them, too.
When I command her to strip, she does it. I spank her hard, until she cries out, until she’s so wet, she’s dripping with need.
“Say it,” I whisper to her, stroking her clit with my finger.
“No.” She moans and pushes her hips upward.
I bite her nipple just hard enough to make her catch her breath. “Then no orgasm for you.”
She closes her eyes and smiles. “You always give me an orgasm.”
She’s right. I’d never actually withhold her pleasure, and she knows it. She’s as much my master as I am hers.
That thought is troubling because I’m used to being the one in complete control—not just of myself but also of those around me.
With Bri, I’m off balance.
“Maybe not,” I threaten her. “Maybe I’ll spank you again and make you wait until morning.”
But I can’t resist her luscious body.
I grab her and pin her hands above her head. Her breasts heave as she breathes hard and looks up at me through her eyelashes. “Fuck me, Alain.” Her lips are so red. She smells of sex and her delicious, fresh blood.
I can’t resist.
“Say what I want,” I murmur, letting my cock brush against her cleft.
She whimpers and contorts, trying to feel more of my body, but I hold her down.
Finally, she gives in. “Master,” she whispers. “Please.”
“Ah, there it is.” I drive my cock into her, hard.
“Yes, God,” she mutters. “Alain.”
I pump her hard. “You’re mine, Bri. Mine.” My voice is fierce.
She grabs me and digs her nails into my skin, cries out. “Always,” she says, and then her body clenches in pleasure.
I come, too, as much from her promise as from her body. If only I could have her for always, savor this pleasure with her every night.
It’s a hollow dream, but I grasp it with all of my might and cry out my pleasure, our voices mixing together, and we collapse into a tangle of sweaty limbs and satisfaction.
Chapter 19
Bri
“Good evening.” Slash eyes me from over his laptop screen. His eyes are inscrutable, but I hear censure in his tone. “Alain’s not up yet.”
“I see that.” I grab the cake from the fridge and supplement with a chunk of brie. I’m a little worried that maybe Slash and Martin heard me and Alain having sex the previous night. I hope they didn’t. “We’re going to have to get some vegetables in here or else my arteries will congeal.”
“Tiberius will bring more food…for you.” Slash is still examining me. He mutters, “Since you’re so needy.”
That hurts. “What’s with the attitude? I thought we were friends.” I place my gourmet meal onto the shiny counter and fetch a new fork.
“It takes more than a few online exchanges to be a real friend.” His voice is cold. “And I’m busy.” A beat goes by. “And you were quite loud in there.”
Shit, he did hear.
“Well, excuse me for existing. So sorry.” I take a large bite of cake. “Do you not eat food?”
I chew mechanically, trying to pretend I don’t care that he’s being an asshole and that I’m not embarrassed. It’s one thing to scene in a club where people want to watch and hear. It’s another entirely to be overheard by people who had no such desire.
“We don’t need to.”
“But you can?”
“If we want, for the taste.” He’s not looking at me. “That’s why Alain has that stuff—it’s probably his favorites. If you don’t mind, I’m not the Vampire Manual, Bri.”
“Whatever.” But I’m sad. Slash and I weren’t besties, but we were friends, online. He was just as much fun as my online friend Foxfire, who even met me for happy hour and was a pretty kick-ass chick.
And while I know you can’t always translate internet buds into IRL bonds, I didn’t think Slash was a total douche.
I eat a large portion of cake, then wander to the sliding door in the kitchen and press my face up against the glass to look outside, but even so, the reflection from the indoor lights makes it hard to see.
“I’m still locked up? Like a prisoner?” I try the door, but it won’t open for me.
Slash doesn’t answer.
My phone is still missing; I don’t know where Alain put it. Even though we had fantastic sex last night, I’m more confused than ever.
“Fuck.” Slash pushes his laptop lid down. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. Ugh.” He gets up and runs his hands through his hair, messing it up further.
“Stuck on something?” I narrow my eyes at him. Glad he’s upset. Still hurt at his words.
He doesn’t reply but paces back and forth, hands on top of his head, sort of stretching and walking at once.
“Probably, it’s your attitude,” I offer. “When someone’s in an asshole mood, it’s much harder to concentrate.”
He gives out a deep sigh. “Bri, look, I’m sorry to take it out on you. It’s just—having humans know about us, it’s a liability. It doesn’t end well.”
“For whom?”
“For everyone involved.” He shoots me a dark look. “I mean, what do you think is going to happen here? Really?”
“Really? Fuck you. Right now, I’m just still trying to figure out if this is actually happening, or if I’m going insane. Or maybe stuck in a nightmare. I was attacked yesterday by a flying crazed vampire, and today I’m locked up with more vampires, and…” I shake my head. “I haven’t worked out the ten-year plan yet, Slash.”
“Well, let’s play it out.” He crosses his arms and sta
nds, looking at me. “You like Alain. I get it. But he’s never going to age, and you are. So if he doesn’t get tired of you, you have, what, ten years together, tops, before it gets weird? Maybe fifteen? I mean, if you’re even still alive by then. Or he is.”
A cold feeling settles in my bones. “Why wouldn’t he be?”
“Because probably you’ll give up his location. What human can resist talking about a vampire? Writing about it? Making money off of it? Or even accidentally telling a friend?” He shakes his head. “It endangers us all.”
“I wouldn’t do that.”
But I think about how hard it would be to keep such a secret from even my best friend. I couldn’t even tell K.? How could I exist without talking about things with K.? And could K. resist telling Mani? And Mani tells everything to her mom. Who in turn has a gaggle of old ladies at bridge…and so on.
I tune back in to hear, “And if other vampires know you know? Let’s say, I trust you. Alain trusts you. But other vampires don’t…you could be in danger. They might want to eliminate a liability. And I’m not just talking Karl. Maybe they’ll think you and Alain are both liabilities. Get rid of you both.”
I shudder and wrap my arms around myself.
“And maybe you’re thinking you could turn into a vampire yourself. But it’s not that easy. Or that fun.”
“I didn’t ask for that.” I step backwards.
“You didn’t need to. I can see it in your face,” he says. “We all can. Every human thinks about it.” He pauses. “We know because we were you, once.” He turns away.
I bite my lip. “Look, Slash. I promise I’m not going to tell anyone about you all. Not one person.” Although my heart cracks a little, thinking about how this will put a wedge in my friendship with K.
“And I have to live with that flimsy little paper promise?” He snaps. “That’s my security from you? God, Bri. It’s excruciating!” His voice goes up into a shout, then he sinks to the couch and buries his head in his hands.
Is he crying?
“Slash?” I lower my voice and approach, tentative. “Are you…okay?” I hover a hand over his shoulder, pull it back.
“I’m sorry.” His voice is low. “But you have no idea how hard this is.”
“What do you mean?” I’m taken aback. “You’re immortal, and you’re complaining about it? Should I bring you a little cheese for that wine?” I point to the fridge. “Many fine choices there.”
“This. Being this.” He looks at me, and the raw anguish in his face makes my eyes widen. “Being immortal but fragile. One ray of sun will melt me into dust.”
He snaps his fingers. “Nobody can be trusted, not even other vampires. Not even the one who made you. Always looking over your shoulder. Rebuilding your persona again and again and again, every decade, every year. Fucking endless starting over and over. It’s exhausting.”
There are dark circles under his eyes. “And I’m not even….I’m young, for a vampire.” He laughs without humor. “You think it’s going to be so amazing. And then it’s…this.”
“But you seem so happy.” I sit beside him. “Usually.” My anger is gone, replaced with a strange sort of sympathy. Whether he’s overdramatic or not, he’s clearly suffering. And I suddenly realize that being immortal comes with its own host of problems…maybe worse than human dilemmas.
“It’s an act.” He looks down at his jeans.
“Does every vampire feel this way? Does Alain?” It makes my heart crack to think Alain might live with such dread, too. Even if I’m so angry I could punch him, I still care deeply.
He shrugs. “From what I understand, we all go through it periodically. Some handle it better than others.”
“I’m sorry. But, I mean, my life isn’t super easy right now, either, okay? I could be dead in five years. I have a disease, Slash. It’s not just that crazy creep who tried to kill me. And I don’t know…”
I shake my head. “What the future holds. People leave me, too. My parents died. I can’t manage a normal relationship like my friends. I’m always at the doctor. Human life is so short and fragile. I didn’t go to med school in college, and now I never can. Things don’t usually work out for me. You should be grateful you have so much time to accomplish your goals.”
“That’s the problem for us.” He shakes his head. “It’s too much time. When you have infinite tomorrows, there’s no motivation. It’s hard to keep going, sometimes.”
He reaches out without looking and takes my hand. “For what it’s worth, I did consider you a friend. That’s why I’m so angry at you. Because I had fun talking to you online. Because chatting with you made me forget the difficulties for a while. Because you made me like you the way I used to like my—ah, ahem, sister, and you’re going to leave. And you’re in danger. And I can’t fix it.”
He sort of coughs on the word sister, and suddenly I understand: Slash likes me. Has a crush on me, maybe. He’s jealous. He didn’t like me as a sister at all but something far more. And I’m with Alain.
“Oh, Slash. Look, I…”
“No, I get it. You’re with Alain. I can see the bond you already have.” He sighs. “I guess I just. Never mind. I do want to be your friend, all right?”
There’s nothing to say about the fact that he wanted me, so I just nod. I squeeze his fingers. “So…you’re sorry? Buddy.”
He smiles. “I’m sorry. Buddy.”
“Okay.”
And we sit there, holding hands for a minute, until Alain enters.
At first, I think he’ll be angry, or jealous, but he just looks sort of sad.
Then I figure he maybe heard the whole conversation or that Slash told him in some kind of weird telecommunicative way. Because he just gives a sort of small smile.
“Maybe Bri can help you with your issue,” is all he says.
Slash nods. “Want to take a look?” He lets go of my hand and stands up. “I’m having a tough time with a piece of code I need to analyze my data.”
“Sure, I can take a look.” We go over to the table, and he flips up the laptop. “Here.”
He shows me what he’s working on, and I run through ideas in my mind. It feels so fucking good to focus on something technical. Already I feel our old camaraderie return, the way we joked together online. I have a feeling that Slash will adjust fast to being my bro.
Alain comes over with my laptop and phone. “Here.” He gives me a look. “Please use them wisely. Don’t tell anyone about us.” I know he means, vampires.
“Thank you.”
He touches my shoulder. “You’re welcome.”
Now that I know Alain is a vampire, Slash’s words keep running through my mind. “If he doesn’t get tired of you.” “Ten years tops, if he’s even alive by then.”
And I add my own commentary: If I’m even alive by then.
I mean, I was never thinking of ten years with Alain. I wasn’t even planning on ten weeks. It started with a one-night stand, for God’s sake.
Plus, Alain is a murderer and a rogue. Even if he’s supposedly “reformed” now, does that matter to me? Should it matter?
I try to push the thoughts of my head. Focus on the programming for now because it will keep me sane.
But even with all my anger at Alain for lying to me, for being something I wish he wasn’t, for having the past he does—I still desire him with every fiber of my being. And even if it’s a total folly, I wish we could have some kind of future together.
Bri
This time Alain doesn’t make me sleep when he does. “I need to rest soon,” he says. “Are you going to stay awake?” He looks toward the window.
“Do you have black-out blinds?”
He shakes his head. “Yes. They’re on a light-sensing timer. They’ll descend at the first ray of light.”
“Oh.” I take a breath. “Wow. Mine are manual. And I have my UV face shield and my long-sleeve UV shirt, so I guess I’ll be all right with all of it.”
He regards me with a ste
ady look. “I’ll have Tiberius bring clothes for you, and anything else from your home that you want. Food.” He looks toward the fridge, frowns. “I’m sorry I didn’t have a variety. I’m not used to feeding humans. If you make a list, we’ll get it.”
I smile. “You sure have a refined palate.”
He looks a little embarrassed. “We exist on blood, and only eat food for pure pleasure. Those are the things I like.”
“I commend you on the cake. The caviar is a little overkill.”
He laughs, but his face tells me he feels the tension between us—my anxiety.
“How long am I going to be here?” I look down at my jeans then back up at him.
“As long as it takes. You can work from here, right?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“Do you need to see any clients in the near future in person?”
I shake my head. “Nope. I don’t need to see anyone.” Then a tear rolls down my cheek. “Sorry.” I wipe it away.
He sits in a kitchen chair beside me. “What’s wrong?”
This makes me laugh. “Really?” I sigh. “Oaky, you know what? When I think about my life, it’s actually amazing how little time I spend with other people. I work mostly online. I don’t go out during the day. Sometimes I hang out with K. and Mani at night.”
“And that upsets you?”
“I don’t know. It just makes me feel so…disconnected, I guess.” I shake my head. “Like I’m not part of life like other people are.”
“Well, I’m not human anymore. But from what I’ve observed, there’s no normal.”
“Sure, but my disease makes it harder to fit in.”
“It also gives you insight into life.”
I look at him. “But is it worth it?”
He shrugs. “Sounds like the same question Slash was asking himself.”
I breathe out. “Do you feel like he does? Like life is scary?”
He tilts his head. “I don’t like to talk about that.”
I just look at him.
His eyes burn. He says, “Then I’ll tell you this. I’ve never said these words aloud, before.” He pauses. “There’s a constant pit of despair tugging me closer, with a powerful gravitational force. I have to work hard every moment to keep myself upright, so I don’t fall in.” He clears his throat. “Some days it’s harder than others. And some vampires fall into it and never get out. Like Karl.”
Her Vampire Temptation (Midnight Doms Book 8) Page 15
