by Salsbury, JB
I realized it when I watched her watch Jesse play his acoustic song for Bethany tonight. I felt as if I was watching her slowly unfold to reveal her most sincere desire, and as soon as I saw it, I knew instantly I wanted to be the one to provide it. I smiled at her then, knowing I wouldn’t give up until I was given a chance to fill that void in her soul. For all our bickering and verbal jabs, there’s palpable energy between us that we couldn’t turn our backs on if we wanted to.
My phone vibrates with an incoming text.
Can’t talk right now. Is everything ok?
Fuck. I type back and hit send.
When will you be available to talk?
I work til 4am. But I’ll see you tomorrow.
Our Vegas show. I got twenty tickets and handed them out to my friends, family, and gave a stack—plus backstage passes—to Rachel. I have to break up with her before then so she won’t come. The only other option is to break up with her before my show.
I punch out a quick text.
Call me tomorrow before you come to the show.
You’re scaring me. What’s wrong?
I want to break up. I backspace the sentence and try again.
We’ll talk tomorrow.
Ok. ILY
I chew my lip and stare at the letters on my keyboard, then hit the lock screen and shove the device in my pocket without a response. It’s best if she knows my feelings have changed, and I won’t tell her I love her because I don’t.
Not anymore.
I’m not sure if it’s leftover adrenaline from the show or the anticipation of finally ending things with Rachel… or it could be the last vestiges of my restraint as they strain against the swell of my desire for Jade. I suppose it’s a combination of all three that has me feeling an electric pulse rolling through my veins. My skin feels too tight, my jaw aches, and I’m jumpy as fuck.
When the bathroom door opens behind me, I whirl around and act without thinking. Jade’s stormy gray eyes widen as I take two steps, forcing her back into the bathroom, then close the door behind me.
“Ryder, what are you—” She gasps as I press her back against the sink without so much as touching her.
I tower over her, grip the countertop at her hips, and bring my face inches from hers. Her lips drop open, and the scent of her face wash fills my nose as her minty breath ghosts my lips.
“This wasn’t supposed to happen.” I don’t recognize my own voice once the words rake up my chest and from my throat in a low grumble. “You were not supposed to happen.”
I expect her to meet my violence with fury of her own, but instead she blinks and mutters a soft, “I’m sorry.”
“Do you have any fucking idea what you’ve done to my head?” I don’t give her a chance to answer. “You’re all I can think about. I want to know everything—what you eat, how you sleep, what scares you most.”
She opens her mouth but I step closer, bringing our bodies together at the hips and pressing in until she snaps her mouth shut.
“What’s going on between you and Ethan?” I growl. Watching him put his hands on her, pull her to his side and feel her warmth, hold her the way I want to hold her, I came unglued. All the questions, all the feelings, come rushing to the surface as I have finally snapped.
She frowns. “Nothing. Ethan’s just a friend.”
“Are you sure about that?” We’re so close our breath mingles, and I lick my lower lip- barely restraining from tasting her mouth.
Her jaw hardens. “Of course. What do you want me to say? I have no interest in Ethan outside of being his friend. Whatever you think happened between me and him, didn’t.”
“That’s good to know. Here’s what you should know.” If I hadn’t freaked her out already, she better hold on for more. “I want to taste you. Everywhere.” I allow my gaze to slide along her jaw to her neck where her pulse races behind smooth skin, and I barely hold back from leaning in and sucking so hard I leave a mark. “Your mouth, your throat, I want to suck on your tits until you beg me to fuck them.”
A burst of breath leaves her lips.
I pull back enough to meet her eyes. “Tell me to stop, Jade. Please, just fucking tell me to stop and I will, or I won’t be able to hold back sharing all the different places my mind has taken me since we met.” When she doesn’t tell me to stop, I groan and drop my chin. “You want more.”
“Yes.”
My gaze snaps to hers, her cheeks flush as she waits on me. “I want you. I want to possess you.”
Her eyes light with a defiant fire, but her tiny smirk tells me she likes what I’m saying.
“But…” I lift a hand to run my fingertip down the slope of her neck to her chest but stop before making contact. “Not yet.”
She swallows so loud, the sound echoes in my ears and causes me to imagine a different scenario—her head in my lap, my hands in her hair.
I slam my eyes closed and try to shake the thoughts, the visual alone leaving me lightheaded. “How do you make me want you so badly without even trying?” I whisper.
“You want me, but you don’t even know me.”
I sense the shock is wearing off, and she’s finding her voice. My pulse jumps in anticipation of her spitfire retorts, and I anticipate shooting every one of them down.
“I know you well enough to know I want more. That’s good enough for me.”
She clears her throat and straightens off the counter, bringing our bodies closer together. I’m sure she’s hoping I’ll back off. I keep my feet planted. “Sorry to disappoint you, but I no longer date unavailable men. As of this morning, you had a girlfriend, a mistress, and a mysterious woman’s name permanently inked into your skin. I’d say you are the epitome of unavailable.”
“I didn’t touch that girl from the club,” I growl.
She juts her chin out defiantly. “Prove it.”
If I don’t put some space between us, I’m liable to prove it by sucking her tongue into my mouth, which would actually prove nothing, but damn it would feel good. “How ’bout a trade. One moment of honesty.”
She scowls, thinks it over, then nods. “Fine. Did you in any way have sexual contact with the beautiful brunette from the club?”
“No. Ethan fucked both those girls. I slept in the bathtub with the door locked all night. Now it’s my turn.”
She blinks rapidly as if my answer surprises her. I can’t believe she thinks so little of me.
“Remember, honesty.”
“What do you want to know?” she asks harshly.
“Admit it, you want me just as badly as I want you.”
She nods once, quick and jerky.
“Not good enough. I need to hear you say it.”
“Fine.” She straightens her shoulders. “I’ve thought about it, yes.”
“It?” I step closer, eyeing her long bare legs and soft sleeping shorts. Her nipples are hard beneath her white tee, but I don’t linger long on those. Whatever she says next, I want her looking me in the eyes when she says it. “What exactly have you thought about?”
She licks her lips, and fuck me—I want them. “Touching you. What it would feel like for you to touch me.”
I nod for her to go on.
“At the club when we were dancing, I wondered if you moved as well in bed.”
“Jade,” I groan. She’s killin’ me. I’ve always been a man of principle and honor. My dad instilled in me early that a man is only as good as his integrity. I’d never cheat on a woman I committed myself to, but if she doesn’t stop, I’m bound to throw my righteous honor out the window.
“When your hands slid over my body, I thought about what it would be like to have them slip between my legs—”
“Stop.”
“And tonight, watching Jesse, I wondered what it would be like to be wanted, loved, and consumed so fully—”
“That’s enough.” I cup her jaw and press my thumb to her lips. “We won’t get to Vegas until noon tomorrow, and we have a show that night. We’ll have to h
it the ground running. There will be people there to see me.” I brush my thumb along her lips, drinking in the euphoria of contact, a mere morsel to my starving need for her. “Rachel will be there.”
Her jaw stiffens under my palm.
I stroke the firm muscle to ease the tension there. “It’s over between me and her. I’ve been trying to get her on the phone for days to break up with her. I refuse to do it over text, but when I see her tomorrow, it’s the first thing I plan to do if I don’t get a hold of her sooner. That will be enough for me to move on. Will it be enough for you?”
“I don’t understand what you’re asking?”
“After tomorrow night, I have every intention of being with you, Jade. Only you.”
“And what? If I say no, then you won’t break up with your girlfriend?” She scoffs.
“No. Her and I are done. Once it’s official, I need you to know you are not a rebound girl. You are the girl. My girl. If that’s too much or too intense, I need you to speak up.”
“I haven’t had a healthy relationship in my entire life.”
I grin and drop my hand from her face. “Perfect. Why start now?”
We share a few seconds of staring at each other, processing all we’ve discussed, and the air in the small room thickens with an awareness of where we’re headed.
“You should go to bed,” I say and mean it, and I hope like hell she listens rather than allowing this energy to continue to zap between us.
She gathers her clothes to her chest and nods. “Good night.”
14
Jade
Ryder wasn’t kidding when he talked about hitting the ground running. By the time I woke this morning, they were already gone, I assumed doing interviews and sound checks. At almost noon, I ate a quick lunch of veggie lasagna and then took my time getting ready. With last night’s talk with Ryder fresh on my mind, I dressed in one of my favorite outfits from Helen and my shopping spree.
This is one of the few I actually picked out.
The black skinny jeans are ripped at the knee, and the distressed gray T-shirt is cropped and hangs off one shoulder. I paired it with the black biker-style boots—Helen’s purchase—and I have my hair wild and down around my face. Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I wish I had some makeup to accentuate my eyes and gloss my lips, but this will have to do.
I slip my all-access lanyard around my neck, shake out my hair, and make my way to hunt down a familiar face.
I open the door, and the afternoon Nevada sun blares in my eyes. I use my hand as a shield, wishing I had picked up some sunglasses somewhere along the way. When my eyes finally adjust, I hop from the bus and head toward the loading dock, the back entrance to the arena. Roadies amble by, their heavy lifting done until after the show, and I stick close to the wall to stay out of their way. I poke my head into the first open door and see Ansel and his band mingling with a dozen or so fans.
“Have you seen Jesse?”
The guy with the blue hair points to the left. “They’re a couple doors down.”
“Thanks.” I head that way feeling a slight swing in my hips and wonder if it’s the clothes or the talk I had with Ryder last night giving me the confidence. My stomach twists in knots when I remember the desire that burned in his eyes as he told me how much he wants me. And even though I know it’s wrong to want him, knowing whatever we have will be temporary, I can’t deny the pull that has me wanting him too.
Max is up ahead, standing outside a door I assume is Jesse’s. I hear voices, many voices, coming from behind the door so I’m guessing no one is in there naked.
“Hey, Max,” I say to the usually stern-faced security guard.
“Jade.” He nods and gives me a once-over. “You look nice.”
I shrug. “Thanks. The guys in there?”
“Yep.” He opens the door and ushers me inside.
I stall mid-step.
I’ve seen a big man before. I’ve even seen two big men in the same room before. What I haven’t seen in my twenty-seven years of life up until this moment is a room filled with enormous men. I would’ve thought these guys were all bodyguards, but they’re even bigger than the guys on Jesse’s security team. I realize upon further inspection that they aren’t the only people in the room. Scattered about are also women—some taller, some smaller, all of them beautiful and totally at ease around the giants.
I swallow and contemplate going back to the bus when I hear someone call my name. I turn toward the sound to see Bethany emerging from the huddle of bodies.
She pushes up next to me. “Can you believe this? I feel like an ant in a room full of gorillas—get your jaw off the floor.”
I snap my lips closed, and she laughs. “Who are all these people?”
“Ryder’s family.”
I turn and look at her then. “Family?” His people, he mentioned them last night. That they’d be here and Rachel would be with them. Okay, now I’m sure I want to go back to the bus. “It’s crowded in here.” I back myself toward the door. “I’ll go wait—”
“Don’t be silly.” She hooks her arm in mine. “Catering brought in tons of drinks and finger foods and mini desserts.” She drags me through the crowd of swollen bodies and deep, gravely voices. “You look hot, by the way.”
“Thanks.” Now I feel stupid, like I’m trying too hard. Thank goodness I don’t have makeup on.
My gaze catches on familiar letters stretched across a wide chest. UFL. Ryder’s sweatshirt. Everything clicks into place. These guys are all professional fighters, and if they’re Ryder’s people, then—
Bethany shoves a cold drink in my hand. “Drink the Coke. You look like you’re about to faint.”
Feeling a little light-headed, I suck back the soda and then ask, “How is Ryder connected to the UFL?”
She chomps down on a cracker with some fancy spread squirted decoratively on top. “His dad owns it.”
Owns it?
The lightheadedness returns, and I suck down more Coke while locating the nearest exit.
“Hey…”
I close my eyes at the sound of Ryder’s deep, seductive voice in my ear.
“Whoa, Jade. Are you okay?”
He’s in front of me now, his hands on my shoulders. I open my eyes to see the worry in his blue gaze fade to relief, and he smiles. God, he’s pretty.
“I’m overwhelmed.”
“Aw, by this?” He motions around the room. “Teddy bears. All of ’em. Come on, I want you to meet my parents. Why are you shaking your head?”
Was I? “Your parents?”
“My parents.” He narrows his eyes. “This is weird for you.”
“Um, kind of.”
He leans in close as to not be overheard. “Do we need to go back over our discussion last night? I thought I made my intentions pretty clear.”
“You did, but your parents?”
He chuckles, and the sound is like sex and honey. “They’re cool, I promise.” He looks like he wants to reach for my hand, but he stops himself and frowns. “I, uh… I haven’t talked to Rachel yet.”
I shrug. Honestly, I trust Ryder not to cross any of his moral boundaries with me, and whether or not he has a girlfriend is the least of my worries right now.
“Follow me?”
I stick close behind him as he leads me through the crowd. A big man who looks straight out of a surf movie claps Ryder on the shoulder. “I’m so fucking proud of you, man.”
Ryder grins at him. “I know, Mase. That’s the third time you’ve told me since you’ve been here.”
A gorgeous blonde hugs the Adonis around the waist. “Ignore him. You know how sentimental he can be.”
Ryder chuckles and continues to drag me through the crowd of people. Women offer Ryder hugs. Men lift their chins and squeeze his shoulder. Jesse is in a conversation with a super huge, super hot guy with black hair and full-sleeve tattoos. The big ole dude smiles, and two dimples appear on his cheeks. Whoa. Mesmerized by his beauty, my feet stop
moving.
“That’s Jonah, The Assassin. He’s a fucking badass,” Ryder says, getting my feet to move again.
“He has dimples,” I mumble and shake off their effect.
Ryder leans close. “Now you know the torture you inflict on the entire male gender with that smile of yours.” His eyes dart to my cheek and soften as his words make me grin like an idiot.
“Dad!”
A man with shoulders as wide as the tour bus lifts his head.
And I’m frozen again.
Ryder’s dad is not what I imagined at all. While Ryder is a cut specimen of lean muscle and height, his dad is just as tall but swollen to the degree that I worry for the seams of his shirt sleeves.
Ryder stands close beside me, so close our arms touch. “I want you to meet my friend Jade. Jade, this is my dad, Cameron Kyle.”
“You’re huge,” I blurt while offering my hand for a shake.
That seems to entertain him as his lip lifts slightly on one side. “I am.” His hand swallows mine. “Nice to meet a friend of Ryder’s.” His gaze shifts to his son and speaks a thousand volumes without a single word.
He assumes I’m more to Ryder than a friend.
Ryder flashes a cocky grin to confirm his dad’s assumption.
Heat creeps up my neck to my face.
“Mom!” Ryder calls and gets the attention of a striking older woman with golden-blonde hair and the bone structure of a model—oh, holy shit.
“Delilah?” I jerk my gaze to Ryder. “Your mom is the ultra-famous mega model Delilah?”
“Please,” she says. “Mega Model Delilah will do. I dropped the ultra-famous years ago.” She shakes my hand.
“I grew up looking at your photos. You are so beautiful.” I don’t tell her how often I wished I looked like her, wished my skin was paler and my hair sleek and golden just so I could fit in with the girls at school.
“Thank you,” she says. “You’re very beautiful as well.” Her brows lift as she looks at her son and back at me. “Those eyes. Are they gray? Gorgeous.”
