by Eric Vall
“Who attacked you?” I probed further.
“We… traveled many days to get to the outskirts of this town at the border of our kingdom,” he muttered, barely at a whisper anymore. “The journey was smooth at first, but then our own men began to turn against us. At first, it was only one man, then two, until it was over half of our party. When we got here, they joined up with the forces in the foreign armor. Together, they were able to slaughter--”
Suddenly, the man coughed, then his eyes rolled up into his head, and I knew he was gone.
Jessamine reached down to close his eyes with her fingertips.
“Rest in peace, brave fighter,” she proclaimed in a soft voice, and I looked up at her to see her eyes were full of tears.
“I’m sorry, Jessamine--” I began, but she stopped me and shook her head.
“He fought on the side of good,” the princess said to me and smiled sadly. “There are so few of us anymore. We are greatly outnumbered. I am touched by his service. But we must move forward. I think we should walk back out to the road for a moment and make sure no one is coming from that direction.”
“Sounds like a plan,” I told her, and I followed her out to what was really more of a dirt path than a road at this point in the countryside. Jessamine swung the light around, and I noticed something I hadn’t seen before. “What the hell is that giant thing?”
I pointed ahead of us on the path, a few feet past the entrance to the clearing, where a huge vehicle seemed to be parked.
I wanted to get a better look, so I walked closer to the behemoth. I’d never seen anything quite like this before.
“Here, Joe, grab the light,” the princess called out, and I took the lantern from her hand. I shone the light over and across what appeared to be nothing so much as a huge, wooden tank covered in steel plates. The vehicle had to be around twenty to thirty feet in length, and I tried to picture it in action. I could imagine it pulled by majestic horses, and the effect would be spectacular.
Unfortunately, at least two of the horses that had accompanied the coach now laid dead at our feet, apparently charred by some sort of flames. They were the largest war horses I’d ever seen, though, seemingly as big as bison.
The heavily armored sides of the abandoned war wagon had slits for crossbows, and the front bore a large cannon. The massive vehicle faced our direction, as if it had been headed toward the town and then stopped for some reason.
“Jessamine, I wonder what could stop a giant armored wagon like this,” I pondered. I had a horrible image in my head of swarms of Jamar’s zombies as they climbed across the great wagon and forced it to a halt. I could only imagine the terror the carriage’s inhabitants felt as the hordes were unleashed upon them.
Then Princess Jessamine gasped.
“Joe, this is Princess Cienna’s war carriage. I have heard of it, but I’ve never seen it up close before… ”
The princess trailed off, and I knew she imagined the worst for her ally.
“Come on,” I said as I reached out my hand. “I know the scene in the clearing is horrible, but I think we will find more answers there.”
Jessamine and I bravely clasped palms and returned to the clearing. The sound of laughter seemed louder now, and I shushed the princess as I pulled her behind a tree to hide.
“I think I see a slight light from behind those trees over there,” the princess said as she nodded toward the direction I thought I heard the laughter coming from.
I craned my neck and thought I could see what she was talking about. A faint glow emerged from beyond a small stand of pine trees.
“We are going to need to be careful,” I whispered. “We’ll have to sneak up on them and see if we can find out who they are and if they know where Cienna is.”
“I hope we find the answers with whomever is near that light,” the princess murmured, and her brow furrowed deeply. “It seems all hope is lost. Cienna’s carriage has been abandoned, and what we saw out there was worse than anything I have ever seen before.”
I knew what I had to tell her, and I couldn’t believe the words that were about to come out of my mouth.
“It’s going to be okay, Princess Jessamine,” I said as I took a deep breath, “because I am the hero you summoned, and if I am here, that means everything is going to work out in the end.”
“Yes!” she agreed, and I could tell the princess was starting to cheer up. “I suppose you’re right. If the genie brought you to me to help us win, then winning is what we are going to do. So, please, Joe. Take the lead. I will follow you.”
I marveled again at this woman’s resilience, and I tried to imagine my ex-girlfriends in this scenario. It seemed like some women just claimed to be “outdoorsy” on their Tinder profiles to attract men, but they weren’t all that tough when it came down to it. Princess Jessamine was the real deal, and I was amazed one woman could be so beautiful, strong, and yet also be able to admit her own vulnerabilities.
“Okay,” I said. “Let’s sneak up and see what we can learn.”
There really wasn’t any other choice. The woods were completely dark by this point, other than the light from the moon and the flickering torch in the clearing, and as clouds passed over the surface of the moon, even its light wavered from time to time. The branches of the trees looked like skeleton fingers in the sky, and I felt like I was the unwilling star of a horror movie.
I looked around the clearing one final time, and I felt a sense of dread in the pit of my stomach. I hated seeing all this bloodshed, and I wished again that I would wake up and find myself in my L.A. apartment, far away from all of this stress and carnage. Maybe I could bring Jessamine with me, and we could live there together.
I laughed at the thought of the princess in my tiny apartment, but I had to stay focused. I’d been on my feet for what had to have been close to sixteen hours, and I couldn’t lose control of the situation now.
She gripped my arm tightly, but we continued on toward the glow and the laughter. We crept from tree to tree down a dark path, and soon we saw the source of some of the light and the sounds. Two tents were lit up at the periphery of a military campground, one large and one smaller, and I could see five more dark tents set up at the border of an abandoned field. I assumed the largest tent was the command center, but loud voices were coming from the smaller one. I could hear quiet sounds coming from inside the command center, but it was impossible to tell how many men were inside.
“Let’s try the smaller tent first,” I whispered. “But we can’t get too close, I’m afraid they might be able to see us through the walls.”
“We need to figure out a way to listen to them,” the beautiful princess countered. “It’s the only way we can possibly figure out what happened to Princess Cienna. I don’t have much hope for her survival at this point, but I can’t give up until I am positive there aren’t any chances left.”
I appreciated her optimism, but I wasn’t looking forward to getting any closer to that tent. I wondered how we could hear what they were saying without having to creep right up to the walls.
I soon realized we were in luck, though. The tent’s inhabitants were so drunk, it was possible to hear every word they said.
Princess Jessamine and I crouched down from about fifteen feet away and cupped our hands behind our ears to listen, and I could see the movements of shadowy figures behind the tent’s green canvas walls.
“I’m glad they left us here to guard her for the night,” someone hiccupped. “Seems easier than being put on patrol duty.”
“We really destroyed them good, didn’t we?” a second loud voice slurred. “We were lucky those undead came in to help us. I know they needed to gather intel before we move out with the princess, but I’m kind of pissed that command left us here around these fucking bodies. They’re starting to stink. Looking forward to getting our orders to head out tomorrow.”
“Fuck it,” a third voice laughed, clearly intoxicated as well. This voice sounded like it had a thick
accent, similar to ones I’d heard back in Jessamine’s kingdom. I suspected it had to be one of her guards who’d turned to Jamar’s side, which meant we needed to be extra careful to not be recognized. “They’re supposed to come around midday, but if we don’t hear word by then, I say we go anyway and take this bitch with us.”
“The other princess and her men have no idea what happened, do they?” the first voice chuckled gruffly. “I heard word this blonde one was on her way to fortify their desert kingdom. If they knew she was still alive, they’d put a bounty on our heads, as well.”
“You’ll never fucking take me alive,” a woman suddenly growled.
But then she shrieked, followed by a loud smacking sound.
I heard a thud, and then silence.
“Shut up!” the heavily-accented voice shouted.
“That should keep her quiet!” the first man laughed loudly at the violence. “Come now, let’s pour ourselves another drink.”
“The whore thinks she can speak to us,” the second man scoffed, and all three laughed loudly. “Some fucking princess when she’s tied up like a pig on the floor. She’s lucky Jamar told us not to touch her. I’d like to show that princess my… ”
His slurred voice became indistinguishable, and all of the men laughed again.
My heart pounded in my ears, and I looked at Princess Jessamine, who stared at me, wide-eyed.
It appeared Princess Cienna was not only alive, but in big fucking trouble.
“I gotta take a piss,” one of the rough voices announced, and we could hear the sound of someone getting up and stumbling around inside the tent.
I gestured to Jessamine, and we quickly moved to a spot behind a large tree, so we wouldn’t be seen. I didn’t have a plan yet for how we were going to fight our way out of this, but I knew I had to figure one out soon.
The soldier lumbered out of the tent, weapon in hand, and headed right for the tree we were hiding behind. I pulled Jessamine close to me and clamped a hand over her mouth. We had our backs turned to him, so I couldn’t quite see what he was doing, but I kinda didn’t want to, since it was obvious from the sound he was taking a mighty piss.
Jessamine suddenly poked me in the side.
“What’s that?” she mouthed and gestured to my side by the tree.
I shook my head at her, but then she reached over me, grabbed onto something, and then yanked it back around the tree.
“Princess, what the--oooh,” I breathed when I saw she’d grabbed a very impressive looking golden sword.
Had the soldier actually been drunk enough to put his weapon down?
“Joe, kill him,” Jessamine hissed softly as she handed me the weapon. “Hurry!”
Me? Kill someone? This was no zombie, this was a living man. Nonetheless, I grabbed the sword by the hilt in both hands, and I jumped to my feet.
Time to be a hero. And heroes killed the fucking bad guys.
The man, who had started to whistle to himself, was still fussing with his fly. So, I moved around behind him, and a branch crunched under my feet. The man turned, and his mouth dropped open in shock when he saw me.
And then, before I had a chance to think, I raised the sword into the air and slammed it down into his shoulder. The blade cut him half-way down the chest like a hunk of bread, and he immediately fell to his knees. Then a thin stream of blood ran out of the corner of this mouth before he fell, face-first, down to the ground.
I stood there for a moment with my jaw hanging open as I stared down at the bloody sword in my hands.
Holy shit.
“Now, this is a sword for a hero,” the beautiful princess told me as she emerged from behind the tree, and I had to admit I was intrigued, despite my mixed emotions at having just kinda murdered a dude who also super deserved it.
“I wonder where this guy got it from,” I muttered as I stared down at the dead man at my feet. His blood had begun to spread out in a wide crimson pool beneath his body, and I stepped back before it seeped into my boots.
“He most likely looted it from someone important.” Jessamine shrugged. “It looks too fine a weapon to be made for a lowly grunt.”
I took another glance at the weapon in my hands and noticed an inlaid purple stone that seemed to gleam in the darkness, and I slashed it through the air as I forgot for a minute that we were supposed to be hiding out. I closed my eyes and imagined myself cutting into zombies to watch their arms, legs, and disgusting heads fly. I could slash through their entire army with this thing, and then face Jamar himself. A sword like this needed a name, though… and the purple stone reminded me of something.
“I think I’ll call it Genie’s Wrath,” I told the princess, and she smiled at me.
Was it my imagination, or did the stone on the sword flash like purple lightning?
“That is a fine name for a blade such as this,” the beautiful woman agreed. “This sword will bring you much victory, I can feel it. You were meant to be together. Now, let’s go rescue Cienna.”
Chapter 8
“What’s your plan to save Cienna?” the dark-haired princess asked as we stepped back behind the large tree we’d been hiding behind, and she grabbed her scimitars.
“M-My plan?” I stuttered.
“Yes, hero,” Jessamine replied. “I know you must have a plan for how to rescue my friend.”
Yeah. I guess I was the hero.
“Well, there are definitely pros and cons to busting right in there,” I whispered. “On one hand, we have no idea what kind of weapons they have. I’m also concerned they might be complete idiots and do something to hurt Princess Cienna if we came storming in, even if Jamar had told them not to.”
“On the other hand,” the princess began with glittering eyes, “the time might be now or never. We should easily be able to overcome two drunk men. Especially with Genie’s Wrath.”
“I’m just worried they’ll call for reinforcements before we have a chance to attack,” I told her. “We need a way to take care of these guys before anyone else in these other tents hears. Can you do something with your disguise powers? Maybe you can sound like the guy I just killed”
“What a fantastic idea, Joe!” Jessamine gasped. “I can get the other two outside the tent! Then we can kill them and rescue Cienna. See? You are so good at being a hero.”
“Thanks.” I grinned. Jessamine really had a lot of faith in me, but I had to admit the constant ego stroking felt pretty damn awesome.
Then I heard another feminine yelp from inside the tent, and I knew the time was now.
“Here, hold my hand,” I suggested. “That should help you do it quickly.”
Jessamine gripped my hand, thought for a second, and then nodded before she approached the door of the tent.
“Men, I need you out here!” she called out in a rough, masculine voice.
I could still hear them laughing inside.
“What is it?” the accented voice asked. “We’re busy!”
“I heard the general calling us,” she replied, and I finally heard the sound of heavy footsteps.
“This better be good,” a loud male voice grumbled.
“Jessamine!” I hissed. “Get over here! They’re coming!”
I positioned myself to the side of the tent, behind the entrance, where I could just see the door. Two men exited, and I could see from the back that one was dressed in the traditional helmet of Cienna’s kingdom, and the other was wearing a turban from Jessamine’s.
“What the fuck?” the helmeted man said. “There’s no one out here!”
Before I had a chance to think, I struck from behind.
I slashed out toward one of the men with Genie’s Wrath, and I sliced him straight through the back as easily as if I were cutting a sandwich.
Damn, this sword was sharp.
The other man whirled around and saw Jessamine first.
“Princess?” the turbaned man gasped.
She bared her teeth before she pulled back an arm to slash diagonally
downward across the man’s torso. The blow struck fast and deep, blood arced through the air, and the man tumbled forward to land face-first in the mud.
“Holy shit, that was amazing,” I gasped.
I was more than impressed by the princess’ skills with a blade, but there was no time to think about that now.
“Hey, Jessamine, help me move these dudes out of the way,” I asked the princess. I wanted to get in there and rescue Cienna as soon as possible, but it didn’t seem like a good idea to leave a pile of corpses sitting out in front of the tent.
“That makes sense, Joe,” she replied. “You’re so smart!”
We made short work of moving the bodies into the trees, though I gagged while I did it. I still couldn’t believe I’d actually killed people.
Then we returned to the tent, and I quickly pulled the flap behind us and crossed my fingers that we could evade attention from the other guards at the camp.
In the center of the space, a large pole held up the tent’s heavy ceiling, and a woman I could only assume was Princess Cienna. They had her on her knees, with her arms tied back behind her head and her ankles bound behind the pole. As much as I hated to admit it, she looked super hot, and I was sure the guards had displayed her this way on purpose.
The woman herself was incredible. Long, tangled blonde hair spilled down over her shoulders, and she’d been stripped down to a pale blue armored bikini. Her full breasts strained against the front of the armored top and threatened to burst the golden chains that held the garment together, and the valley between her long legs was barely concealed by the armored bikini bottom.
“Can you untie her?” I turned to look at Jessamine, and I noticed she’d seen me checking out the other princess. I was worried she’d be jealous, but then I remembered I was possibly supposed to marry all of the princesses.
“Don’t come any closer!” the blonde growled as soon as she heard me talk. “I’ll fucking kick you in the dick like I kicked the other asshole who tried to touch--”
“Shhhhh!” I hissed at her as I put my finger up against my lips. “You wanna get the other guards in here? Jessamine, I’ll watch the door if you can--”
