by Eric Vall
“Everything fits in here now,” Jessamine announced as she handed me the one remaining pack.
“Thanks,” I replied as I swung it up over my shoulders, and I looked around at the forest as everything whipped wildly around us. The water from the creek splashed wildly, and I soon realized we weren’t, in fact, alone.
From across the creek, hundreds of red eyes glowed from sunken sockets, and arms reached out into nothingness. I couldn’t believe what an effective barrier the creek was. It was similar to when the hordes had stormed the palace wall, but there was no actual wall in place.
Seeing a horde up close, though, was one of the most disturbing things I’d ever seen in my life, and the princesses’ jaws dropped open in horror as they stared at the wall of undead minions.
“Fuck, let’s get out of here!” Cienna screamed as she ran over to her horse. “Will you help me get up onto Starlight?”
I helped her mount her steed, and I was happy to see Starlight start to calm down as soon as her rider was on her back.
“Jessamine, what do you want to do?” I asked the dark-haired princess. “Ride or run?”
“I think I need to run this time,” she shouted over the now howling winds. “It will help us progress if I can cut branches down, too.”
“Smart thinking,” I hollered back. “Let’s move!”
The sun had started to rise, but the zombies appeared equally horrifying in the light now that we could see their decrepit bodies close up. Broken bones stabbed through soft flesh at strange angles, and their torn clothing made the effect even more creepy. These weren’t the same military zombies that had attacked Jessamine’s castle, and their throngs consisted of not only men but women and children, as well. I was especially disturbed by the sight of a little girl with braids in a filthy pink dress as her red eyes stared out of a once-cherubic face.
With the creek to our backs, we began to hike toward the road as wild laughter echoed throughout the trees around us. The brambles seemed even thicker than they had on the walk down, and their spindly arms reminded me of the zombies’ terrible hands. Jessamine and I walked in front of Starlight again and attempted to cut down the branches, but it seemed like they grew back again as quickly as I slashed them off.
“Joe, I know this is going to sound crazy, but do you feel like the plants are… alive?” Cienna called out from her position on the horse. “I mean, even a little bit more alive than usual?”
“Have you seen the trees?” Jessamine shouted, and I realized I’d been so focused on the sight of the thorn bushes in front of me that I hadn’t bothered to look up.
The wind was blowing so wildly the trees themselves had started to rock in the earth and creak back and forth. The swaying grew faster the longer I watched, and I was afraid their mighty trunks might crash to the ground.
But that wasn’t the most horrifying thing.
Red eyes now seemed to stare out from their trunks, and it was as if they’d turned into giant zombies.
“This isn’t happening,” I muttered as I rubbed my eyes. Of all the crazy shit I’d seen in Fairyland, this haunted forest was somehow the worst. Then I began to hear loud crashing sounds at a distance, and I just knew that trees had started to fall nearby.
“I think it’s real,” Jessamine cried out from her position beside me. “If the zombies are nearby, I fear Jamar is close as well. I know Chernabog does the work of raising them from the dead, but I’m not sure they can be controlled without Jamar nearby.”
Now, I couldn’t shake the feeling we were surrounded by zombies. When it was dark out, it had been easy to catch sight of their telltale red eyes, but as the sun continued to come up, it got harder and harder to see the glow. So, I gripped Genie’s Wrath as hard as I could, stared down at its purple gem, and silently begged the sword to help us get through these woods.
We continued to slash forward, but I didn’t think we were making much progress. What had been a fifteen-minute downhill trek was now an uphill nightmare, and I felt like I’d started to lose track of all time and reality.
The process went like this: slash, get pushed back by creepy plant arms, repeat.
After about twenty minutes, Cienna lightly toed me in the shoulder to get my attention.
“Hey, Joe, I think we might need to come up with another plan, because these crazy plants really aren’t letting us push through,” the blonde princess yelled from behind me. “Could we maybe use our magic to get back up to the road?”
“I have an idea,” Jessamine panted beside me. “I’m still considering how my illusion magic could help, but I think I know something Cienna could do. Cienna, if you stop time for as long as you can for me and Joe, we will cut down as many branches as possible in the meantime and hopefully get ahead of them before they have a chance to grow back.”
“Okay, I’ll try,” Cienna said as her porcelain brow furrowed. “I think I’m strong enough now. We’ll see how many times I can do it.”
I watched the beautiful blonde lean back and concentrate, and then time froze. The wind stopped howling, the trees stopped creaking, and the moans of the zombies faded into nothing. It had been so incredibly loud, the silence was unbelievable.
But I wasn’t going to waste this chance.
As quickly as possible, Jessamine and I slashed back branches and whatever foliage we could, and Starlight was able to take a couple steps forward. Then time and the loud roaring started again, and the horrible limbs began to grow back.
We repeated this maneuver a few times, and we actually started to make forward progress. I thought we only had a mile or so to travel, but the route still seemed unbearably long.
I started to hear loud moaning again, and I suspected more zombies were nearby. I peered through the thick underbrush, but I couldn’t see any telltale red glowing eyes. The sound was haunting, though, and I couldn’t shake my sick feeling.
“Do you hear that, Joe?” Jessamine asked as she gripped her scimitars so tightly, her knuckles blanched white.
“Yeah, I know,” I told her as I looked up at Cienna, who looked pale but resolute on horseback.
Suddenly, Starlight whinnied loudly and reared up onto her back legs.
“What is it, girl?” Cienna called out as she gripped the horse’s neck. “Ahhh! Joe, help!”
I whirled around to see a zombie hanging off Starlight’s tail and trying to claw his way up her hind legs to her back.
“Hold on!” I shouted up to the blonde. “I got this one!”
“Please, hurry!” she screamed as her horse continued to buck. “I’m not sure how much longer I can hang on like this!”
I gritted my teeth and ran back toward the rear of the horse with Genie’s Wrath in hand.
I had really started to get sick of these zombies.
“Die, motherfucker!” I screamed as I slashed at his throat with the giant, golden sword. The blade easily sliced the wraith’s head off, and it fell to the forest floor. With dismay, though, I noticed about seven other zombies headed in our direction from the rear now that a path had been cleared behind us. One of us would have to stay back and defend Starlight’s tail, and one of us would have to keep slashing forward.
This would be exhausting, but I had an idea.
“Hey, Jessamine, you know that spear Cienna was using?” I called over my shoulder.
“Of course, Joe,” she replied. “I would never throw away a valuable weapon.”
“Okay, then here’s what I’m going to need you to do,” I informed the dark-haired princess. “We’re going to get you up on top of Starlight, and you’re going to defend us from behind with that spear. Quick, are you ready to hop up there?”
“Yes, my hero!”
I held out my hand as a stirrup, and Jessamine quickly mounted Starlight facing backward. Then she leaned over the horse’s tail with spear in hand and was successfully able to ward off the remaining attackers. We continued forward with just me slashing the bushes, and our progress slowed, but didn’t stop.
I thou
ght I could see a clearing ahead of us, and I hoped it was the main road, but suddenly, with a gigantic crash, a tree that had to be at least five feet in diameter fell across our path. Its horrible face with those red eyes was on its side now, and then a huge mouth opened and chuckled in our direction.
I supposed we now knew where the roaring, mirthless laughter was coming from.
The princesses and I stood back and gaped. I didn’t see how we were going to make it out of the situation without some kind of magic, and I didn’t see how freezing time for a few seconds would help. I tried desperately to think of some kind of illusion Jessamine could perform to solve this problem, but nothing came to mind.
The tree seemed to stare at us as it laughed, and I thought I could hear the moaning of more zombies from behind us. I glanced to my rear, and I was dismayed to see about ten more wraiths as they proceeded slowly up the path behind us.
“What are we going to do, Joe?” Jessamine shouted as she lunged out with her spear and pierced another undead minion through the chest.
“Just keep killing those motherfuckers,” I grunted.
Then, in one move, I picked up the hilt of Genie’s Wrath with both hands and slammed it down as hard as I could into the tree’s hideous glowing-lumps-of-coal-eyes.
The gem on the sword flashed bright purple, and the tree groaned. The sound was so loud I immediately wanted to cover my ears, but I still held the golden hilt tightly. Then I lifted the blade again and slammed it back down into that ugly face. Every time I hit the tree with the sword, the purple stone glowed brightly in the midmorning light, and the tree groaned louder.
Finally, I slammed the sword into the tree for the final time. Purple lightning flashed around us, and, to my amazement, the giant trunk began to dissolve into thin air. The princesses and I watched as the tree crumbled into pieces and then to dust as it laid on the forest floor in front of us.
The horrible laughter stopped all at once, and everything was still. There were no more zombies on our tails, birds chirped in the trees, and I realized it was now a bright, sunny day. We were only about fifty feet from the road, and no more brambles stood in our way. I could see people walking by on the path above, and I wondered if anyone had noticed the spectacle in the woods.
Cienna collapsed across Starlight’s neck, and she either started to laugh or cry hysterically. Jessamine leaned back against the other princess with a dazed look in her eyes, and then she spoke.
“I know Jamar is behind this horrible attack, and I hope this doesn’t mean he is aware of our position,” the princess sighed loudly. “I’m tired, how about you two?”
“Me, too,” a now-calmer Cienna sniffled and yawned.
“Me, three,” I murmured as I absently stared at the sword in my hands. What the hell had just happened? This weapon obviously had some kind of magic, since it had practically disintegrated our undead pursuers and broken the spell on the forest, but I had no idea how it worked. That was a problem for another time, though, so I shook off my amazement and turned back to the matter at hand. “I’ve lost track of where we are in relation to that village, but I really hope we’re getting close to another town. And this time, maybe we should stay out of the woods.”
The women laughed weakly, and I was happy to relieve some of the tension. I wished I could have a chance to ride Starlight, but I knew the princesses were exhausted as well. I looked over Cienna and Jessamine and down at myself, and I realized we made quite the ragtag group. Our clothes were filthy and torn, which contrasted with the princesses’ intense beauty. There was no way we could travel without continuing to attract a ton of attention, and I was ready to find Cienna’s castle and put down some roots for a bit.
We continued westward as always, quite a bit faster now that both women were on horseback. As tired as I was, I would have started to jog if it meant we would get somewhere faster.
But I hoped it wasn’t my imagination that I’d started to see more people around. Then, as we rounded a bend, I spotted the spires of a church in the distance.
“Hey, Joe!” Cienna kicked me. “You see that church up there? I remember it. And that town? It has an inn. With a tavern.”
“Nice!” I shouted and pumped my fist up into the air. “Bath and beer, I’m coming for you. Let’s just hope there aren’t any more zombies, since I don’t know how much more Bruce Campbelling I can do.”
Chapter 13
We couldn’t get to that inn fast enough, so we hurried down the path as quickly as we could, and when we got to the town, I could see it was beautiful. The buildings were centered around the church, which had a huge steeple and stained-glass windows. Stone architecture with wooden accents lined cobblestone streets, and different types of shops selling various exotic goods caught my eye.
It was no Los Angeles, but it was definitely the most cosmopolitan place we’d been to since I’d come to Fairyland.
“Look!” Cienna pointed to the horizon, where a faint, enormous structure could be seen on a distant hilltop. “You can even see my castle from here!”
“Awesome,” I remarked, and a broad grin stretched across my face. “We’re actually almost there!”
“But first, let us rest at the inn,” Jessamine sighed as she leaned against me.
“Sounds like a plan.” I nodded and wrapped an arm around the raven-haired beauty, but then a thought occurred to me, and I stopped in my tracks. “Hold on.”
“What is it?” Cienna asked, and she drew Starlight to a halt beside me.
“We’re in your kingdom,” I said as I looked up at the blonde, “and this town is pretty close to your castle. Don’t you think someone might recognize you, or Starlight?”
“Gods, no,” she snorted. “When I first became a princess, I was in awe of the castle, and I very rarely left. The few times I did, I was always in my full royal regalia, with the gown and the jewels, and I was always accompanied by an entourage of guards and servants and the like. After the war with Chernabog grew worse, and I became more involved in my kingdom’s military, Starlight and I were typically donned in spectacular armor when we went out, and I had even more guards and men at my side. Now, look at me.”
Cienna gestured to her dirty clothing, windswept and tangled hair, and Jessamine and me as her entourage of two.
“I see your point,” Jessamine giggled. “We don’t really look like princesses right now, do we?”
“Exactly.” The blonde nodded. “We’ll be fine.”
“Alright.” I shrugged. “Just wanted to make sure. Lead the way, Your Highness.”
I bowed teasingly, and Cienna rolled her eyes before she nudged her massive white steed forward again.
After Princess Cienna and Starlight had a tearful goodbye, we boarded the horse in the inn’s stables and proceeded inside. The tavern was on the first floor, and it went well above and beyond my expectations. An arched stone ceiling with iron chandeliers stretched above our heads, and candlelit booths lined the walls. Even in the middle of the day, the setting was romantic.
The women asked the innkeeper, a large mustached man, to show us to a room upstairs, and it turned out to be surprisingly large. I was relieved to see it had two beds, which sat alongside a large picture window that looked out onto the town square.
Once the door to the room was shut, Jessamine kicked off her boots and laid down on one of the beds. I was ready for a hot meal and a drink, but the dark-haired princess appeared tired.
“Do you want to come down to the tavern?” I asked her, but I noticed she’d already closed her eyes.
“No, I think I’m going to rest here,” she sighed. “Plus, it will give you and Cienna a chance to get to know each other better.”
Then she leaned up onto an elbow and winked at me before she laid down to close her eyes again.
Sneaky girl.
“Well… shall we?” I invited Princess Cienna as I nervously scratched my face. I definitely felt awkward around the blonde princess.
“Sure, let’s go.” S
he shrugged.
Cienna looked about as nervous as I felt, but after I borrowed a few of Jessamine’s gold coins, the blonde took my arm, and we began the walk down the inn’s narrow stairs to the tavern on the first floor. When we arrived, I swept out an arm and smiled.
“After you,” I declared.
“Thank you, Joe,” the princess responded in a formal tone. “Where would you like to sit?”
Man, this had started to feel like a very weird first date.
There was only one table open, so I led her over, and we sat down. We avoided each other’s eyes for a moment, and then we both started to speak at the same time.
“Sorry--” Cienna started.
“I don’t know--” I began.
Then we looked at each other and laughed. The tension seemed to be broken, and I decided to try to sit back and enjoy the fact I was sitting in a dim, romantic tavern with a gorgeous woman.
The barkeep came by soon after we sat down, and we ordered steaks and a large carafe of red wine.
We sat mostly in silence until the drinks came, and then I raised my glass in a toast. I looked outside the tavern’s one window, glanced at the sun high in the sky, and said the first thing that came to mind.
“Hey, it’s five o’clock somewhere,” I laughed.
“What?” Princess Cienna asked, but she smiled and clinked her glass against mine.
“Oh, it’s just something we say back in L.A., no big deal,” I told her as I nervously gulped my drink down and poured another glass.
“Ell-ay?” she inquired with eyebrows furrowed. “Joe, I don’t think we know very much about each other.”
“I’d have to agree with that,” I admitted as the wine quickly started to settle my nerves. “We haven’t really had a chance to sit down and talk.”
“Well, what I started to say before is I’m sorry,” the princess began with a sheepish look on her face. “I know I’ve been standoffish, and I’m sorry I doubted you now that I’ve seen you in action. But regardless of whether or not you’re the true hero, I could’ve been nicer.”
“I just want you to know I don’t have any expectations of you,” I assured her as I took another swig of my wine glass. “This hero thing is brand new to me, as well. And I love Jessamine, but she can definitely put the pressure on.”
