by Mari Carr
Erotic Research
Mari Carr
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Epilogue One
Epilogue Two
In the Running
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
About the Author
For Andrew
Chapter One
“Me and my big mouth,” Julia muttered as she dragged in the third load of wood to stack beside the fireplace. The snow hadn’t stopped falling since she’d arrived and, while the cabin was certainly toasty, she didn’t relish the thought of being buried alive by snowdrifts for the entire winter. Sure, she was used to being alone, but at least at home in New York City, she had the option of personal contact if she desired it. When the walls of her tiny apartment started to close in on her, she could always hit the market or Starbucks to see other human beings.
Coming to Ross Phillips’s rustic escape, this extraordinarily luxurious cabin nestled high in the mountains of West Virginia, to start a new novel—especially at the beginning of January—had not been one of her more brilliant plans. Actually, it was Ross’s fault—this reckless venture to the wilderness. He’d goaded her into it like he did most things.
“You’re in a rut,” Ross had told her. “What you need is a change. A major change.”
Unwilling to confess to her totally hot, though thoroughly arrogant, editor that he was right, she let him convince her to escape the city in the dead of winter with relatively little fuss. The fact was she had been battling boredom with her chosen path in life. Although truth be told, when he made the suggestion for change, she thought he’d merely meant she should take a vacation.
Historical romance novelist by trade, she’d spent the last ten years of her life buried in her small apartment with her beloved cat, Duke, writing about damsels in distress, hunky lords and knights, and glorious adventures. In other words, she’d been living inside her head, creating worlds and men who could never exist in this lifetime.
Two months ago, Duke had gone on to that kitty castle in the sky and Julia’s world had fallen apart. Depression set in as she realized her best, and now only, friend was her editor—simply because a cat had died.
She hadn’t had a date in nearly three years—which was the last time Ross attempted to set her up. Ten minutes into the evening, Julia knew the blind date would end like all the others. The guy would never meet the standards she’d set in her mind for the ideal man. Feigning a migraine, she escaped the disastrous dinner before dessert only to be raked over the coals by Ross the next morning for not giving his friend a fair chance.
Even now, she could recall his frustration and anger. She could hear his voice like it was yesterday…
* * *
“What the hell is wrong with you?” he yelled into the phone. “Alex Saunders is a great guy. According to him, you didn’t give him the time of day.”
“I’m sure he is a perfectly nice man,” Julia answered, feeling guilty for not putting forth more effort. Ross was worried about her spending so much time alone; however she couldn’t help but be surprised he thought she would be attracted to Alex. “He’s just not my type.”
“Oh hell, not that again. Jules, we’ve talked about this. It’s 2015, not 1815,” Ross said, exasperation thick in his voice.
“I know what year it is, Ross.”
“Do you?” Ross asked. “Do you really?”
“We’ve had this conversation before.”
“That’s right, we have. And could it be because you insist on turning yourself into an old maid? Christ, Jules, you’re nearly thirty years old. It’s time to get out there. Live a little.”
“I am perfectly happy with my life the way it is and I am not nearly thirty. I’m only twenty-seven. I like my freedom and I don’t need a man. Why can’t you trust me when I say that?”
“Because it’s not normal, Jules. Living in self-imposed seclusion is not normal. When’s the last time you got laid?” Ross asked.
“I don’t think that’s any of your business. You’re my editor, Ross, not my pimp!”
“Jesus, Jules,” Ross began.
“And my name is Julia. You know I hate that nickname.”
“Jules,” Ross said calmly, ignoring her request as usual, “honey, you can’t stay locked up in that apartment writing romance novels twenty-four seven. It’s not healthy.”
“I would think you’d be delighted I’m working so hard. My last four books topped the best-seller list and I’ve won the True Heart award twice.”
“Don’t insult me, kiddo. I hope after all the years we’ve known each other, you know I consider you a friend, not a client. And as your friend, I’d prefer it if you wrote less and lived more.”
* * *
Julia’s heart softened as she recalled his words to her that day. Ross was a good friend. For the past decade, he’d been her main connection to the outside world, which was why she had foolishly agreed to his idea of a change. Rather than suggesting a relaxing cruise, however, his idea of a major change was actually a new genre.
Erotic romance.
According to Ross, the market for hot books was booming. He’d given her a box full of titles, encouraging her to read them and see what she thought.
For the past month, she’d been immersed in capture, bondage, BDSM and ménage-a-trois stories. She learned about domination, submission and the toys—my God, she didn’t know such things existed. Butt plugs, whips, paddles, vibrators, nipple clamps. She didn’t have a clue about any of these things and now Ross wanted her to write about them.
While she had to admit she was intrigued, she also knew no amount of imagination was going to get her out of this mess. Ross had insisted she write erotica and, while still in a sensual haze from her readings and depressed over Duke’s death, she’d foolishly agreed to try.
Granted, she was technically not a virgin, but she couldn’t help but wonder if there was a statute of limitations on virginity.
How long could you consider yourself experienced without actually having sex?
She’d had sex with two, almost three men in her life—her high school beau, her college sweetheart and a nearly disastrous one-night stand. While her high school and college boyfriends had both been very sweet men, the bed play had certainly been nothing to write home about—mainly innocent exploration and vanilla sex.
Her lack of experience was in direct contrast to Ross’s wealth of practice and skill. For all the dates she lacked, Ross Phillips more than made up the difference for both of them. Like Baskin-Robbins, he had a flavor of the month and it was always unique, different and exotic. A steady parade of gorgeous women made their way through his bedroom—so many in fact, Julia teasingly nicknamed him “Hef”, likening him to Hugh Hefner and his Playboy Bunnies.
The sad truth was she hadn’t had sex in nearly a decade, except for that near miss almost five years ago, which had been an unmitigated disaster and the main reason she’d sworn off men and sex forever. She still couldn’t think of that night without blushing regret.
She’d gone to a Christmas party at the home of one of her publishers and gotten a little inebriated. Actually, she’d gotten a lot inebriated. She hated social events and was terrible at small talk. She was supposed to hang out with Ross, but…
* * *
Ross had shown up with Bridget, his buxom blonde on-again, off-again girlfriend, or—as Julia liked to refer to her—slutfriend. The woman looked as if she’d come from the catwalks of Paris, in a shimmering s
ilver dress cut so low in the back Julia was sure one quick turn and her entire rear end would be exposed. She was dripping with brilliant blue sapphires hanging from her ears, neck and both wrists, no doubt an early Christmas gift from Ross.
Julia rolled her eyes as the saying “a fool and his money are soon parted” drifted through her mind. The woman was a barracuda. Once she sank her teeth into a man, she didn’t let go until she’d devoured him and his bank account whole. Julia had tried numerous times to convince Ross that Bridget was shallow and money hungry, but he simply teased her about being jealous and continued his unsavory association with the bitch. All Julia could figure was Bridget must be one hell of a lay because two minutes of listening to her imperious demands would make any sane person run for the hills.
Unfortunately, tonight Julia had been counting on having Ross to hang out with, to ease the awkwardness of being there alone, but apparently Bridget, who supposedly wasn’t going to be able to attend because of a photo shoot in L.A., must have managed to swing a late flight back to the city.
Much to her relief, Scott Jenkins, one of the company’s new accountants, struck up a conversation and Julia, glad to not have Ross see her standing alone looking like a wallflower, was happy to participate. She and Scott spent the night ensconced on one of the couches in the living room laughing and talking and drinking. For once, she felt desirable, even pretty.
Not that she thought she was ugly. The fact was Julia considered herself to be extremely ordinary. Medium height, medium weight, brown hair, brown eyes—boring, boring, boring. She was nothing like the steady stream of supermodels constantly hanging off Ross’s arm.
Not that she was jealous, like he thought.
Well, not too jealous anyway.
From the way Ross kept looking across the room at her, it was obvious he was as surprised as she was that someone was taking an interest in her. Feeling slightly annoyed with him for that, and more than a little tipsy, Julia continued to giggle and flirt, pleased to be able to rub Scott’s interest in Ross’s smug face.
Maybe now he would finally see her as a real woman, not the little-sister type, whom he constantly felt compelled to take care of and lecture to about her shyness, wasted youth and lack of social life.
Shaking herself for her somewhat-continuing obsession with her editor, Julia tried to focus on the man in front of her. While Scott was attractive, she didn’t feel overwhelmed by his appearance as she did with Ross.
Ross Phillips was a natural athlete, who towered over her by at least six inches. It was his chiseled, bearded face that served as the model for nearly all of her romantic heroes, although she would never tell the cocky bastard that. He already had an overinflated opinion of himself and she considered it her calling in life to be the one woman to help him keep his feet firmly planted on the ground by not gushing over his every word and smoldering look. Not, of course, that he ever directed any smoldering looks toward her.
Glancing across the room, she studied him. He wore his jet-black hair longer than he had when they’d first met, and she liked it. In fact, it was this new rugged look of his that had inspired her to write her first pirate novel, which was turning out to be her best-selling book to date.
Shaking herself, Julia stifled a groan at allowing her imagination to continue to dream such an impossible dream. Ross Phillips was her publisher and her best friend. That was it. They had a standing Thursday pizza night because in the world of powerful, wealthy, handsome men like Ross, she was not weekend-date material.
Several hours and glasses of champagne later, Julia found herself in Scott’s arms as he finally worked up the courage to kiss her. She should be embarrassed by this public display of affection, but her head was fuzzy from the alcohol. His kisses were very nice, soft and warm and she was actually anxious for them to continue. It had been ages since someone had kissed her. Scott must have sensed her acquiescence because he helped her stand, and led her up the stairs to one of the house’s beautifully appointed bedrooms.
The rest of the night seemed hazy and slightly unreal as Scott lay across the big four-poster bed with her. She’d missed making out and Scott was certainly reawakening parts of her that had lain dormant for far too long. His lips traveled along her cheek and down the side of her neck.
Alarmed, Julia was slightly embarassed to discover her blouse was unbuttoned. Somewhere along the line Scott had grown a few extra hands and she struggled to keep up with them. He was touching her everywhere and yet, when she closed her eyes, it was Ross she saw touching her, kissing her, making her feel so hot.
A light breeze touched her thighs as she felt her skirt slowly being lifted and she opened her drowsy eyes, somewhat surprised to find Scott—not Ross—shirtless and digging through his wallet.
“I have a condom in here somewhere.” His words hit her like cold water in the face. Guilt suffused her. She’d been fantasizing about Ross the whole time Scott was touching her. He was a very nice man, but she was not the type to succumb to one-night stands. He deserved her whole attention and desire. Unfortunately, she could provide neither.
Reaching down, she attempted to adjust her skirt. “Uh, Scott,” she began, “I think maybe we should slow down.”
“Don’t worry, baby,” Scott crooned, “we’ve got all night. I’m gonna love you good and slow.”
His corny line disgusted her. As did her uncharacteristic actions. She didn’t have sex with strangers at parties. Attempting to rise, she continued, “No, I don’t think you understand. I want to go back downstairs.”
“What? Why?” Scott asked, his voice aghast.
“Please, don’t get me wrong. I think you are a very nice man, but I don’t think we know each other well enough to sleep together.”
Scott laughed coldly. “Everybody at the office said you were an uptight bitch, an ice queen. Guess they were right. Well, sweetheart, fact is you should know better than to go to a bedroom with a stranger. Maybe I should teach you a lesson about what happens to a little girl who acts like a cock tease.”
“Excuse me?” Julia’s voice shook with anger. “Get away from me,” she demanded, trying to shake off his viselike grip on her arm.
“No.” Scott’s voice was infuriatingly calm. “But please feel free to struggle. I like a girl with spirit.”
“You—you,” she stammered, unable for once in her life to come up with the perfect word, the perfect line.
Scott merely laughed as he pushed her back on the bed, straddling her kicking legs. For the first time since she entered the bedroom, Julia felt the cold, clammy hands of fear seize her. Scott’s strength was far superior to hers. He’d seemed like such an affable guy, easygoing and kind. God—what a fool she was.
“I said let me go,” she repeated, beating on Scott’s chest, pushing as hard as possible. Scott continued to laugh until she managed to land one hard slap across his face.
“You little whore,” he snarled, returning her slap with an even harder one across her cheek. Bright lights flashed before her eyes. Julia suddenly understood what it meant to see stars. The sound of fabric tearing roused her from the lingering pain and she fought even harder.
“Stop! No,” she yelled. Surely Ross or someone from the party would hear her if she screamed, and come to investigate. How embarassing. However, her stomach roiled at the thought of this man touching her in any intimate way. Mortified or not, she needed help.
Before she could make a sound, a familiar, beloved voice came from the doorway. “I believe the lady said no.”
Julia had never heard Ross’s voice so quiet or menacing. Scott immediately jumped off her and the bed, turning to face his boss.
“I think you misunderstand, Mr. Phillips,” Scott began. “We were just playing. She likes it rough, pretends to struggle, you know how it is.”
“Is that true, Julia?” Ross looked at her for the first time since entering the room. She felt herself blushing as she attempted to cover herself with the remains of her shredded blouse, pulling
down her skirt at the same time. Both acts were futile—her hands had chosen that exact moment to begin shaking uncontrollably.
“Good God, no, Ross,” she gasped. “He’s a pig.”
No sooner had the words passed her lips before Ross crossed the room and punched Scott harder than Julia ever imagined a man could. Scott’s eyes rolled up into his head as he fell like a sack of potatoes.
“K.O.,” she whispered, spellbound by Scott’s still form on the floor.
Ross stepped over the unconscious accountant before kneeling at Julia’s feet.
“Are you okay?” His voice was so kind and full of concern that Julia felt the dam give way as she fell into his embrace, the shock of the moment evaporating, replaced by delayed terror.
“Oh God,” she sobbed as Ross rocked her gently in his arms, whispering soothing words. Her tears flowed, her teeth chattered and her shaking seemed to go on forever. After several long minutes, she struggled to catch her breath before speaking.
“How did you know I was in trouble?” she whispered.
“I’d heard some unsavory rumors about Jenkins around the office. I’ve been keeping an eye on the two of you all night. Unfortunately, I was detained for a few minutes and when I got back, you and Jenkins had vanished. Did he force you here?” His face was flushed and his own hands were unsteady as he reached for the bedquilt and tightened it around her shoulders, studying her face intently.
At her embarrassed blush, she sensed the anger in him begin to rise again as he noticed the red handprint across her left cheek. Taking her chin in his fingers, he turned her face to look at it more closely. The menace she felt building in him seemed almost tangible as he glanced back down at Scott, still prostrate on the floor.
