Only a couple of old ladies, and no kids by the sound of it. This seems to be a very different club to the one that I left. My immediate reaction is that I’m not going to like it, but know I’ve got to give it a chance. “Hellfire’s the Prez, Demon’s the VP,” I’ve met them in Tucson. “Thunder’s the SAA. You got an enforcer?”
“Sure have. That’s Mace’s job, not that he’s been doing it long, but he seems to have settled into it.” He pauses, frowns, his expression suggesting there might be a story there, but it’s obviously not something he’s going into now. “Sparky you might have met as well. He’s the road captain, we supported your run a year or so back, when you were raising funds for that kid with sickle cell disease.”
I nod. I do remember him now. Sparky had been helping Joker along with the other chapters’ road captains.
“Probably better if you meet everyone else in person. Helps to put a face to the handle. Talkin’ of which. Where d’you get yours from? Sounds like you’re a knight in fuckin’ shinin’ armour.”
I grin, he’s closer than he knows. “In black leather on a shinin’ bike, more like. But yeah, that’s the way of it. Young girl thought I saved her.”
“Yeah? I’ll look forward to hearin’ about it.”
He’ll wait a long time. I frown. I want Jay to have a fresh start here, not be burdened by everyone knowing her past.
Pushing away from the door, Ink suggests, “Why don’t you freshen up, then come down and find me? I’ll introduce you around.” He breaks off, tossing me a sympathetic look. “Can’t be easy startin’ off in a new chapter. Word is you came up with a bitch. Not your choice to transfer, Brother?”
I shrug. “Circumstances are what they are.” I straighten my back as I turn and give him a chin lift. “Gonna do my best to fit in, make a home here, throw in with my new club. You won’t find me wanting.”
He takes a step forward and slaps me on the back. “Sure we won’t, Brother. But you might want to get that bottom rocker changed. Wearing the Tucson patch makes you look like a visitor.”
“As soon as I get one, I will,” I agree.
“Think Prez wants to hand it to you in church. A formal sort of welcome.”
“When is church?” I ask, knowing how ignorant I sound. It was always Fridays in Tucson.
“Tomorrow, Wednesday.”
Middle of the week church. That’s a new one on me. Still, when in Rome and all that. I’m in no position to complain. “I won’t be a minute.”
He waves his hand dismissively. “Take your time. We won’t be going anywhere, and the bar won’t run dry,” another pause, then a wide grin, “if it does, you won’t be the only one complainin’.”
Dutifully I laugh. He exits the room closing the door behind him, and I’m left alone in my new home. Feeling completely disorientated, I start putting the shit I brought with me away. Opening the closet I find there are blankets on the top shelf, things we had little need for in Tucson, I shiver just looking at them. At least I’ve arrived in the spring. Got a few months to find my feet before I start having to cope with snow.
My tablet goes into my bedside table, a photo Sam had given me, of me standing with the Tucson crew, every brother, old ladies and children, and even fucking Grunt in prime position in the front goes by the side of my bed. Huh. I never thought I’d miss a dog. I look at the various expressions. Sam had put her camera on a timer, Mouse is clearly staring as though it should have gone off already, Joker’s laughing at something Lady had said. Sam’s half turning, trying to get them to be serious. Wraith’s standing looking stoic. Fuck, I miss them already. Pushing that wave of longing for things familiar back down, I go to the bathroom and take a long piss, noticing towels have been hung ready for me. Which is good, I didn’t have room to bring any of that type of shit.
I walk back to the bedroom while zipping my fly, thinking it’s time to take the plunge and go down. These first meetings are going to make a lasting impression on everyone. Can’t put it off.
Descending the stairs, feeling like an exotic new exhibit in a zoo, I notice Ink waving at me from the bar. I start making my way across the clubroom when a large man stands in front of me. “Buzzard, or Buzz,” he informs me. “Treasurer. Keep on my right side, pay your dues and we’ll be right.”
I grin, as I’m meant to. “Pay me my cut and we’ll be square.”
“You’ll do,” he tells me. “What’s your line of expertise, Brother?”
I shrug. “Happy to throw my hand in wherever it’s needed. Can turn my hand to a wrench, or anything that’s going.”
“Fucking bitch! Get your hand off my man! Sheesh! How many times do I have to warn you?”
As I start to spin around at the high-pitched voice, Buzzard leans in. “That’s Jeannie. She’s Bomber’s ol’ lady. Think the club whores fuck with her on purpose, doesn’t take much to get her riled. Think she still believes Bomber’s in his prime.”
Completing my one hundred and eighty, I see a woman, probably in her middle to late fifties standing with her hands on her hips. A young twenty-something is hovering, yeah, a little too close to a man who’s sixty if he’s a day. His paunch hangs over the belt of his sagging denim jeans, and his hair is thinning. His beard is so grey it’s almost white. His jowls reddened from the wind and over indulgence in alcohol. His face currently split in two by a wide grin as the two women fight over him.
The sweet butt, clearly feeling brave, puts her hand on his shoulder. The old man, who I take it is Bomber, does nothing to discourage her. His eyebrow raises in challenge to his wife.
Jeannie, yeah, that’s what Buzz called her, well, she slaps the club girl’s hand right off. “Leave my man alone, you two-bit whore,” she screams.
“Pal. Good to meet ya. I’m Lizard. This here thing that looks half dead is Cad. You need info, you go to him. He’s a whizz at mining for data.”
Cad indeed is so pale you can see the veins through his skin. Guess he’s Mouse’s equivalent. I shake both their hands, wondering if I should correct them on my name, so far only Jayden has ever shortened it. But I let it ride. New place, new handle. Maybe it will stop the knight jokes.
I meet another old-timer, Rusty. Share a beer with Bomber once his wife has calmed down and have the opportunity to thank her for setting up my room. Thunder seems a good guy, so does Mace when I meet him. Not everyone’s here, and I’m quite grateful Hellfire and Demon don’t put in an appearance.
A few beers, good conversation—when we start speaking our universal language, bikes—I start to feel a little more at home. By the time everyone begins to leave, I’ve got a mellow glow and have relaxed a tad. But it still doesn’t feel like I’m more than a visitor. Guess settling in is going to take time.
I’ve got to get used to the differences, learn a new set of brothers’ quirks and idiosyncrasies. I still feel unsettled when I take myself off to my room and lie down to sleep in an unfamiliar bed, hoping giving up everything to be with Jay hasn’t been a dreadful mistake.
The long tiring ride, the beer coupled with the late evening, means my eyes are drooping as I check my phone seeing I’ve missed a text telling me Jay’s glad I got here safe, then I slide under the sheets and take no time dropping off to sleep.
Chapter Fourteen
Jayden
Although Slick and Hellfire conversed throughout the journey from the airport to the clubhouse, I sensed Hellfire was only providing answers out of politeness. He seemed to be distracted, and it wasn’t because he was concentrating on driving as there wasn’t a lot of traffic around. I’d picked up on an undercurrent between him and his son at the airport. Selfishly, I hope if there’s anything wrong it won’t involve me. I don’t want to come and stay in a place where there’s tension. Leaving everything I’ve ever known back in Tucson, changing schools, leaving my family behind, that’s enough to cope with without adding anything else.
I haven’t seen my mom for over two years. No big loss. Ella, my sister has always been there for
me. And in recent years, I’ve lived with her and her husband. I liked the house we had in Tucson, and loved being at the clubhouse. There was always something going on. I’d fallen naturally into the role and had enjoyed looking after the babies and young children.
Sam and Sophie will be due any day. I stuff my hand in my mouth to stifle a groan. I have to stop thinking about what I’m missing. Got to start looking to the future. Maybe there’ll be kids here as well? I think I’d like to work with young children when I’m old enough. Have a few of my own, maybe. With Paladin? Perhaps.
When I was fourteen and rescued, I’d latched onto Paladin. He was my rock. I’d wanted him to take the bad memories away, but he’d refused. I didn’t know at the time that Slick and Drummer had warned him off, just went through hell worrying I was too damaged for anyone to want me. But he’d said the right things, explained. While I didn’t like it, I could do nothing but accept it.
Now, two years on, I know he was right. We’ve never kissed, never been girlfriend and boyfriend, just friends. That was probably for the best. The bad memories have faded; I no longer need to make new ones to replace them. Just start all over again, and do it right.
And I could. Very soon. I’m in Colorado. I doubt Hellfire and his wife would be as restrictive as Ella and Slick, they’ve no vested interest in a houseguest they’ve given room too. Here the state law means Paladin and I could legally get together on my seventeenth birthday. I’m sure it’s what he’s planning on. But the question is, is that still what I want? The idea scares me.
“You’re quiet.”
Ella’s voice breaks into my thoughts. I glance at her as she sits beside me. “Just thinking.”
She gives me a hard stare. “I’m sure Hellfire would let me stay on with you. Perhaps just for a few weeks until you get settled in. Don’t like the thought of you being alone…”
“I won’t be alone, El,” I reply fast. She’s not had an easy pregnancy; she needs to be settled back in Tucson. They tried so hard for this baby, don’t want anything to risk it now. One more kid I won’t be there to see. I shake my head and bite my lip to force back the tears. She mustn’t see them. Mustn’t know I’m upset. “It’s just strange, El. The unknown. Hellfire seems nice.” He actually seems frightening, but I’m not going to tell her that.
“Hmm.” Perhaps I didn’t have to say anything. My sister doesn’t sound convinced.
It’s not long before we’re turning down a driveway and drawing up at a pleasant house with a wraparound veranda. There’s even a swing on it. All good so far. Though a big part of me wishes I was back with Paladin on the Tucson compound. Here I’ll be left on my own with strangers.
Hellfire opens my door, Slick’s got Ella’s. When we step out I pull my sweater around me. It seems cold. Colder than Tucson, anyway.
“Come in and meet Moira. She’s looking forward to meeting you.” Hellfire sounds welcoming, but there’s something about his tone that makes me think his joviality is forced.
He unlocks the front door, steps back, and ushers us inside. The house is homey enough, the door leading onto a short hallway, which then opens up into a large family room. Comfortable looking sofas to three sides, a large TV. Double doors lead through to a big kitchen.
“Moira!” Hellfire suddenly booms out; his voice having increased significantly in volume making me jump.
Slick enters the door behind us, he’s got my suitcase in his hand, and his and Ella’s travel bag slung over his shoulder. For want of anything better to do, he just sets them down where he stands.
For someone who’s supposed to be looking forward to us visiting, Moira doesn’t seem very impressed when she enters the room. The look she tosses Hellfire’s way is unreadable, but then a smile, somewhat forced I think, appears on her face as she walks across to us with her hand outstretched. “Slick,” she greets my brother-in-law and then my sister, “Ella.” Now she turns her attention to me. “You must be Jayden. Welcome.”
“Thank you for agreeing she could stay with you,” Ella starts.
Moira waves her off. “No worries. Be good to have some female company. My daughter’s living away from home now. Well, all the kids are.” Her face twitches as though disappointed. “Jayden, would you like to come and see your room?”
“Thank you. Mrs…” My voice falters. I can’t call her Mrs Hellfire, and I have no idea of their legal surname.
“Oh, call me Moira, please. And it’s this way.” She turns and leads the way down a hallway, as behind me, Slick dutifully picks up my suitcase and follows.
“This was Kennedy’s, my daughter’s room. I’m sure you’ll settle in fine.”
It’s a nice room, quite large. I spy a small bathroom off to the side. It’s probably as large as my suite back on the compound, and larger than my bedroom in Slick and Ella’s house. Outside the window I can see views over a desert. “It’s lovely,” I tell her, truthfully.
“Slick, Ella. I’ve put you in the guestroom. It’s just along here if you want to drop off your overnight bag.” She leads them away. I stay in the room that’s been given to me. Wondering how long I’ll be here. I know I won’t be returning to Tucson anytime soon.
“Do you drive?” A deep voice breaks into my reverie. Swinging around, I see Demon. He’d startled me.
“Not yet, no. I’ve got my learner’s permit, but then we had to return to the compound, and I…”
He doesn’t wait for the rest of my irrelevant explanation. “We better get you started. Best if you have a car, then you’ll be able to get yourself around.”
I hadn’t been allowed to be independent back in Tucson. Too much of a risk to go anywhere alone. Getting behind the wheel of a car hadn’t seemed worth it. While I already feel homesick, I start realising there might be benefits to me being well out of the reach of the Herreras. Have a car and be able to do what I want? Have the freedom to just go to the shops? To go to school alone?
I give Demon my first genuine smile since I arrived. “I’ll have to get used to the idea of freedom, here. I couldn’t go anywhere alone back in Arizona.”
He’s leaning against my doorframe, his brow creased. “Fuck. Knew a bit of your story, but hadn’t realised the implications.”
I nod. “Not having someone trying to kidnap me is going to take some getting used to.”
He chuckles, and comes over, ruffling my hair. “You might not be from this chapter, but you’re a Satan’s Devils’ brat all the same. Got a whole club of brothers who’ll look out for you. We’ll keep you safe here.”
I’m curious. “Is it a big chapter?”
He’s happy to answer me. “Thirteen members, well, fourteen now Paladin’s joined. Three prospects.”
I frown, not sure I ought to ask, but I do anyway. “Is it, is it like the Tucson chapter?”
“In what way?”
I shrug. How can I ask if they’re into anything illegal? Tucson wasn’t, and I didn’t want Pal to be mixed up in anything which could get him arrested.
A quick grin comes to his face. “Satan’s Devils have the same rules and regs all over. Wouldn’t keep our charter if we didn’t abide by them. But there’ll probably be a different vibe here. Tucson is quite a family club, here, not so much. Of course, we’ve got different businesses as well. You can come to the clubhouse soon and see for yourself.”
I thank him, grateful the VP has taken time to speak to me. As he leaves me alone, I wonder about Paladin. How long it will take him to get here, what he’ll think of the new chapter he’s joined. Where he’ll work. What he’ll do now his responsibility for babysitting me has been removed. What I’ll do without him. I’ve been so used to him being my shadow, I miss him already. But, perhaps this is what I need. Some space. To get my feelings straight in my head.
I heft the heavy case onto the bed, open it, and start to unpack.
I’d been raped when I was a young teenager. Multiple times by multiple men. Made to believe I had to let them use my body, keeping my secret because of
threats to my mom. They’d burn down her house with her in it. When Paladin, nah, I know better now. When the Devils had rescued me, I’d had a lot of experience of sex and men’s sexual desires. Therapy had helped me deal with it, and at first I’d thought Paladin would want payment for his friendship in the same way. Didn’t all men want that?
Then, after feeling rejected, I was pleased he’d be my friend without any expectations. I couldn’t say I went back to playing with dolls, but I did regain the teenager inside which had been taken away from me. Now I’m sixteen, I’ve started to think about men, boys, once again. Curious to know what being someone’s girlfriend would be like, but my imagination doesn’t take me very far. My therapist had explained, in time I’d start to feel desires natural to a young woman. So far, I haven’t. I’ve started to believe something is wrong with me. Something those men had taken, more than my innocence and youth. A chance to ever be normal.
Paladin, Slick, El, everyone. They all expect Pal and I to get together. That’s all I’ve longed for, always considering him mine. That’s why he came with me, the promise of a future. But would I ever be able to enter into a proper adult relationship? Were the dreams I once had just those of a child?
Closing one drawer, I open another.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, El. Just getting settled in.”
“Moira seems nice.” As my sister gives her seal of approval, she comes across and sits on the bed, watching me unpack.
“Uh huh.” I give a non-committal comment. I won’t pronounce judgement on Moira until I’ve lived here a few days. Weeks perhaps. How long does it take to really know someone?
“Demon had a word. Said I need a car.”
“He just said the same thing to Slick. How do you feel about that, Jayden?”
A genuine smile grows on my face. “I love the idea, El. Oh, I know it will take a while, but to be able to go where I want to, when I want? That sounds amazing.” I notice her face dropping. Shoving the last of my underwear into the spot I’d reserved for it, I go across to her. “What’s up, Ella?”
Satan's Devils MC Colorado Boxset 1 Books 1 - 3 Page 13
